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Thrawn
06-09-2002, 11:01 PM
He walked into the Wal*Mart like he always did - through the garden section. You see, it was the quickest way to the toy aisle. Go in, admit defeat, leave - 2 minutes tops.

It would be different this time.

"I have a bad feeling about this..." he thought to himself as he picked up new figures today for the first time in well over a month. He knew the line was doomed when in 2002 he paid less for figures than he did when the line debuted in 1995.

Beast
06-09-2002, 11:06 PM
Your complaining, that the stores are lowering the prices so that they can sell more figures? No offense intended, but are you mental? It's not like they are clearancing them out yet, they just dropped the price. Dar' Argol even said that Wal-Mart is still making around .77 cents a figure. And the others stores charge .22 cents more. With the lower prices, that people have been begging for, for years...they will sell more products and make the money up anyway. In the words of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Don't Panic." :)

MTFBWY and HH!!

Jar Jar Binks

JediTricks
06-09-2002, 11:07 PM
He came across a kindred spirit, one of those collectors that he perceived less as 'the enemy' and more a 'collecting buddy'.

"I've had that doomed feeling ever since they took the Kenner logo off the packaging. Dropping the price is not a good sign." his friend quipped reminiscing about '96 and '97 when collecting Star Wars figures wasn't such a disaster. It was almost as if his buddy was reading his mind instead of just his facial expression.

Thrawn
06-09-2002, 11:13 PM
Originally posted by JediTricks
He came across a kindred spirit, one of those collectors that he perceived less as 'the enemy' and more a 'collecting buddy'.

"I've had that doomed feeling ever since they took the Kenner logo off the packaging. Dropping the price is not a good sign." his friend quipped reminiscing about '96 and '97 when collecting Star Wars figures wasn't such a disaster. It was almost as if his buddy was reading his mind instead of just his facial expression.

They remembered when figures started to become tough to find, then impossible.
The man with the blue skin and penetrating red eyes said, "It all went to hell when I couldn't find those Red Carded/Gold Logo figures like Greedo and Death Star Gunner."

They both agreed that it wasn't long after that people never saw fiugres at all...making them wonder things like "Sometimes think the Han and Tauntaun Beast pack had never been born at all?"

JediTricks
06-09-2002, 11:18 PM
But their thoughts snapped back to the present as a Wal-Mart employee came by with a case.

"Don't touch none o' these 'til I get 'em all on dem pegs or I'm takin' 'em back!!!" she growled at the two lonely collectors, who were busy trying to see what was in the case itself. Anticipation grew for a quarter of a second until that first figure out of the box hit the alread-bursting pegs: Kit Fisto was a bad sign, even at $4.77 and with the 'rare' sloppy paint job...

Thrawn
06-09-2002, 11:25 PM
Originally posted by JediTricks
But their thoughts snapped back to the present as a Wal-Mart employee came by with a case.

"Don't touch none o' these 'til I get 'em all on dem pegs or I'm takin' 'em back!!!" she growled at the two lonely collectors, who were busy trying to see what was in the case itself. Anticipation grew for a quarter of a second until that first figure out of the box hit the alread-bursting pegs: Kit Fisto was a bad sign, even at $4.77 and with the 'rare' sloppy paint job...

Their disgust was forgotten as a 400 pound Jabba came trundling up to them and said, "It's the super-ultra-mega rare Fit Kisto!!!"

It pushed them out of the way and grabbed the case and headed to the cash register in the garden center ignoring the protests of the cigarette smoke drenched employee.

They followed and found out the CBG was right after all...
The new Kit was sporting a spiffy new paint job with a giant smile on his face and renamed "Kit Fisto - C-3PO's Saviour" !?

JediTricks
06-09-2002, 11:35 PM
The sight caused the slightly-ethereal one to turn to the other and comment, "A pegwarmer is a pegwarmer is a pegwarmer... except for Swimming Jar Jar."

The Comic Book Guy-clone, Scalper the Hutt, overheard and bristled at the comment, and without missing a beat offered these two collectors a chance to buy the rest of the case for 'only' $15 a figure once he had finished his transaction at the register.

"Are you kidding me?!? I can see the rest of that case is nothing but Senator Jar Jars and Battle Droids and Saesee Tiins, and I didn't even want multiples of those at FIVE bucks each!", the ethereal one balked, then waved his hand and said "You don't need to buy those cases, these aren't the figures you're looking for."

Thrawn
06-09-2002, 11:46 PM
The strange blue skinned man in the white military uniform suggested hitting the TRU across the road while the Hutt was forced to wait on line with his price.

There was a palpable excitement in the air as they entered to the sight of not 1 or 2, but 6 bins full of the new blue colored figures!

The Blue man exclaimed "Today we have seeen the end of the rebellion." But his faced quickly mimiced Luke's after seeing his new found teacher Ben Kenobi struck down on the Death Star.

The first bin was nothing but Super Battle Droids - 100s of them.

"It couldn't get any worse" he thought... until the next bin.

"It's worse." he said, and it was...
The bin was overflowing with ONLY Senator Jar Jar. Maybe 200 of them.

The next bin was only Battle Droids. The pegs had been emptied. No new figures would ever be shipped here again.

He caught a glimpse of the Zam Wesell bin and started to black out.

He felt weak and lost his balance, crashing into a 15 foot high pyramid of Slave I ships which collapsed on him and the other collector, killing them instantly.

Legend has it the strange Blue Military Man's dying words were, "I have analyzed Hasbro's marketing art and it makes no sense..."

Dar' Argol
06-10-2002, 12:55 AM
But the man in the nice white pressed suit and blue skin and the Tricky One did not perish that day. Reports of their demise are greatly exaggerate. For up walked a long haired man, in a black trench coat and offered the blue man an hand.

"Fear not my friends, the end is not at hand. The price drop means nothing for hear my words. I forsee a increase happening before November.
But hurry you must for I feel a disturbance in the clearance. Once there was many POTJ figures hanging on Wal-Mart pegs, but they have all been silenced, sold at lower prices. This is not the present, but a glimps of the future."

And then turning to the tricky one, "Be patient, have faith. For the cases are coming. Not today, not tomorrow, but after some of the pegwarmers that have infested the shelves move after this price drop; newer, stronger, better figures shall replace them. And they shall be plentiful."

He offers them both a heartfelt handshake and informs them he will return soon. And with a quick walk and a bounce to his step he leaves them in the action figure aisle in TRU to ponder his words with the tune of,

"I don't wanna grow up, cuz I'm a Toy-R-Us kid!
There's a Million Toys . . . . . . . "

Jedi_Master_Guyute
06-10-2002, 01:06 AM
And then new guy walks into TRU and sees a blue guy in a military uniform walking with The Tricky One and a guy with long hair in a trenchcoat speaking in word ways, such as referring to themsleves in the 3rd person. He then asks "why must the shelves be plentiful of Jar Jar, Zam Wessel, OPD Anakin and Clone Troopers? For thou had just seen the scene at local Wal-mart, shelves aligned with same figures for past 3 weeks" He then grudily walks out to his car (after buying a weeks supply of Pepsi and Candy bars) and sleeps there for days, awaiting the shipment that shall bring light to his pegwarmed heart.

Dar' Argol
06-10-2002, 05:43 PM
"Very good question my shagged carpeted friend, nd it shall be answered. But first, here," and hands him a Mach 3 Turbo Razor.
"The explination is simple. The poor merchants at the World of Wally have not received product for some time. THe Hasbro Overlords have not seen it fit to grace us with new assortments as of yet. Also the workers of Wally have not the room to store such cannon fodder. Since the Overlords will not send us new shinny things to amuse us, they, the workers of Wally, display for our dismay the choking hoards of Zam's, OP Anakin's, Jar Jar's and the such. But hold out forever the Ovlerlods cannot, for their kingdom would crumble around them."
With a pat on the sholder the Long haired man in the trench leaves the shaggy one with these parting words, "Have strength, and faith that the new figs on soon coming. And my hairy friend, please use my gift, the ladies don't like the rug look:D"

stillakid
06-10-2002, 06:34 PM
Meanwhile...

From a distant land,

somewhere in cyber space, a box arrives at a door.

"What could this be?" the anxious recipient proclaims. He tears open parcel, with glee in his eyes, to witness One of Every Figure, complete, mint, and best of all,

in hand.

Jargo
06-10-2002, 08:05 PM
Far acros the galaxy resides an exile in a dark inky black robe, glowering out at the nothingness that seperated him from the lands of plenty, "One day, all that will be mine" he muttered to himself, "low priced action figures will be stocked mile high from store end to store end in my neck of the woods too." And then he sighed heavily and prepared to venture once more into the void of the empty toy stores in the arse end of the universe called Yookay.......... :(

JediIan
06-10-2002, 08:34 PM
messed up, this thread is.

LTBasker
06-10-2002, 09:00 PM
I wonder if this whole scalper case could be avoided if they put the SW figures near the soap...

Rogue II
06-10-2002, 09:03 PM
Originally posted by JediIan
messed up, this thread is.

Its even better when read if you imagine Johnny Cash singing it.

stillakid
06-10-2002, 10:24 PM
Originally posted by LTBasker
I wonder if this whole scalper case could be avoided if they put the SW figures near the soap...

Funny, that, the joke, is. Or perhaps placing the figures near the aisle with the "How to get a Real Job" books.

JediIan
06-13-2002, 04:10 PM
at my wal-mart figures ARE near the soap.

JangoFart
06-14-2002, 03:15 PM
With every word, it grows more and more apparent that Thrawn is a complainer, not a collector. I wonder if it stems from HAVING to be involved with Star Wars (as a job), as opposed to CHOOSING to be involved (as a collector)?

Get over it or stop collecting! (Listen REAL closely and you can hear me and the world's smallest violin playing a sad tune for you....)