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View Full Version : Zoolander: 90 minutes of my life I can never have back



AmanaMatt
09-29-2001, 03:32 AM
I suffered through the abomination known as Zoolander today; do yourself a favor - AVOID this movie at all costs! Not only what is just not funny, the whole assassination plot against the President of Malaysia was not tactful and rather inappropriate.

JediTricks
09-29-2001, 09:43 AM
Thanks for the warning. So far, I haven't seen one Ben Stiller vehicle that's been worth a hill of legumes, this one looked no different but it had more positive buzz... luckily, I saved my $8.50 and saw this warning. :D

THE Slayer
09-29-2001, 07:40 PM
I don't understand how a movie based on an last minute vh1 2 min comedy skit can't work as a full length motion picture!!! Will somebody PLease explaine!!!

Bel-Cam Jos
09-29-2001, 07:47 PM
SNL has the patent on that idea, THE Slayer. Submitted:

Stuart Saves His Family
Superstar
Night at the Roxbury
It's Pat
Coneheads
Ladies Man
Wayne's World 1 & 2 (these weren't too bad)
They failed with a "Sprockets" movie when Mike Myers quit
I think "Water Boy" was Cajun Man in pads and helmet

Fulit
09-29-2001, 08:11 PM
I had a feeling this one would be just as bad if not worse than Mystery Men. Whoo, what a stinker that one was.

GNT
09-29-2001, 09:55 PM
Originally posted by Amanamatt
I suffered through the abomination known as Zoolander today

Can I ask whats it about,whos in it etc? or is the assassination plot what this movie is about?

Eternal Padawan
09-29-2001, 11:46 PM
The most disturbing image in this film is the (obviously) digitally altered NYC skyline where they have (obviously) removed the WTC from the footage. Who are they kidding? They kept a fleeting shot of the WTC in Michael Douglas' Don't say a Word and the audience cheered when they saw it. I suggest everybody skip Zoolander and see this one instead...

bigbarada
09-30-2001, 12:05 AM
90 minutes??? Is that how long the movie is? X-Men was around 90 minutes too, and it really could've used an extra half-hour!

Why are movies getting shorter while the ticket prices are still going up?

AmanaMatt
09-30-2001, 03:26 AM
PLOT SPOILER WARNING:
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Zoolander's plot is simple: There are a couple of big fashion manufatures' whose clothing lines are made in Malaysia and the current President of the aforementioned county is craking down on child labor; well, the bad guys/fashion manufactures' don't like that as they have a vested interest in keeping the labor there cheap...so they track down the stupidest human being on the planet, male model Derek Zoolander, and brainwash him into becoming an assassin when a certain song (can't remember which) is played.

I laughed twice; overall, a very, very bad movie! To be fair to Ben Stiller, I really love 'There's Something About Mary' and 'Meet the Parents.'

If you guys want a really great (IMO) movie that's a little on the off-color humor side, rent 'The Big Labouski' - a movie that truly doesn't suck.

Eternal Padawan
09-30-2001, 09:36 AM
And Amanamatt had to relive the horrible memory in order to write that synopsis for you guys, so thank him.

Amanamatt, I'm sorry you had to dredge up awful images in order to successfully recreate a shortened version of the film for us. Thank you for making that sacrifice...

The song was "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood See? FUNNY STUFF! (Not really)

The Big Lebowski IS a funny movie. My favorite Coen Bros film.

ThomasLane
09-30-2001, 09:48 AM
Originally posted by Bel-Cam Jos
[B]SNL has the patent on that idea, THE Slayer. Submitted:

Stuart Saves His Family
...snip...


Did someone say "Stuart Saves His Family"? As in that 6'4" whiny kid? Is that one still to be released, or was it a "straight to video" movie. Just curious, so I can start planning on avoiding it now.

JediTricks
09-30-2001, 10:58 AM
Stuart Saves His Family was a pretty good film actually, the creative control remained in the hands of Al Franken (Stuart Smalley) and if you like his work, this one works on his level as well as bringing one of SNL's funnier running skits to a real high point.

derek
09-30-2001, 01:28 PM
i know this subject has it's own thread, but since the subject of the world trade centers and "violence" in general is being discussed here, let me rant a minute.

the events of sept.11 were horrible, but these entertainment companies have to be the most spineless people ever to exist . no one is ever going to forget the terrorist attacks, so why are buildings being digitally erased, films being pushed back and entire episodes of a new series on ABC called "alias" being shelved all together?

if these entertainment weasels had their way, we'd never have seen films about vietnam or WW2. i'm sure someone who lost family in vietnam still hurts, but they always will. i just wish these entertainment companies would concentrate on the quality of their products as opposed to trying to play mental health professional.

mrhat
09-30-2001, 09:18 PM
Hey didn't they have natalie portman in a small part in it, and also andy dick, and some other things... anywho, i havent seen it, but i dont think it would be worth it, ill just wait until i can rent it.

GNT
09-30-2001, 09:33 PM
Thanks Amanamatt for the plot, This movie sounds like a pile of you know what ;) Guess its going on the "not to see list" of mine :)

THE Slayer
09-30-2001, 09:39 PM
I could put that on my "do not watch" list also, but it always turns into my "Wait until video and I've seen everything else." list.

Lowly Bantha Cleaner
09-30-2001, 10:09 PM
I happen to find Ben Stiller pretty funny. Sure some of his comedy is borderline stupid and annoying (that's why I lot of people hated his character in Mystery Men), but it's all in the eye of the beholder. That kind of humor makes me laugh. I haven't seen Zoolander yet and I might not see it until it gets to video, but I will definitely see it, with the fam. :cool:

The_Collector
09-30-2001, 10:21 PM
all in all, I thought the movie was pretty good. I'm a big Will Farell Fan, and the part where he's brain washing Zoolander, made me keel over with laughter. Just watching him be "Little Cletus" and explain why Child Labor Laws are bad was hilarious.

But I don't think the movie matches up to past Stiller work like "Somthing about Marry" "Meet and Parents" and I'm sad to say "Heavyweights".

oh, BTW, did anybody else know that Jerry Stiller is Ben Stillers dad? I dident...

JediTricks
10-01-2001, 07:16 AM
Originally posted by derek
if these entertainment weasels had their way, we'd never have seen films about vietnam or WW2. i'm sure someone who lost family in vietnam still hurts, but they always will. i just wish these entertainment companies would concentrate on the quality of their products as opposed to trying to play mental health professional. I think you misunderstand their motives, it's not about "oh, forget about sadness", it's a fear reaction to certain groups who would complain till they're blue in the face saying "it's too soon, you've scarred me, here come my lawyers!" (and believe me, that day is coming).


Bel-Cam, I forgot about the Blues Brothers movie (the first one), that's also an SNL movie. Also, I guess the hilarious "Office Space" (directed by Beavis & Butt-head creator Mike Judge) is an SNL movie, since the "Milton" shorts this film was based on originally aired as SNL shorts.


LBC, I thought Ben Stiller and his character were the absolute low point of "Mystery Men", not only did the character not DO anything, but IMO Stiller throttled his part.

ThomasLane
10-01-2001, 09:24 AM
I think Ben Stiller is absolutely hillarious when given the right role. He just needs to be more picky about the roles he accepts, or writes for himself, as the case may be. I loved him in "Meet the Parents". I think that was a brilliant piece of acting. And does anyone remeber the little role he had on "Friends" as Rachel's psychotic boyfriend for one episode? I thought that was great too.

2-1B
04-06-2002, 08:25 PM
I liked this movie way back in September when I saw it in theaters, and I laughed a lot. But last week I borrowed a friend's DVD and it didn't hold up as well. It still had it's moments though. I think Ferrell is pretty funny, Jerry Stiller has some good moments, and the 2001 A Space Odyssey spoof is hilarious! :)

Wolfwood319
04-06-2002, 08:29 PM
Ferrell was pretty good in it, and that was the only part I liked. I think Ben Stiller said it best when being interviewed for the film he said "This movie really doesn't have a plot.":rolleyes:

187-Maul
04-07-2002, 07:29 AM
that friends episode with ben stiller was pretty funny
haven't seen zoolander yet but I'll definetly gonna see it when on video - I liked sumthin about mary and meet the parents, too

Mandalorian Candidat
04-08-2002, 10:30 AM
Hey guys,

Does anyone remember Stiller's part in Happy Gilmore as the orderly in the old folks home? I thought he was pretty funny. "OK people, we're extending arts and crafts time by another four hours today." :D

187-Maul
04-08-2002, 11:50 AM
that was pretty funny IMO
he had a mustache their didn't he? he looks a lot different that way

2-1B
04-08-2002, 03:05 PM
Originally posted by Mandalorian Candidat
Hey guys,
Does anyone remember Stiller's part in Happy Gilmore as the orderly in the old folks home? I thought he was pretty funny. "OK people, we're extending arts and crafts time by another four hours today." :D

"Now you will go to sleep. Or I will put you to cleep."

"Oh yeah? We'll guess what, now your back's gonna hurt because you just pulled landscaping duty."

I liked it when Happy tried giving him a $1 bill to take extra care of his grandmother. :p

odb
04-08-2002, 03:36 PM
Has Zoolander been released in the UK? :confused: I only ask as I heard about this film but have never seen a trailer/poster/advert for it, but have been told by word of mouth to avoid like the plague.

From the descriptions it sounds like it might have seemed funny down the pub when the writers were drunk, but when your sober watching it, it isn't.

I think I'll leave it for Sky to pick up and check it out then.

JimJamBonds
02-27-2010, 11:23 PM
I suffered through the abomination known as Zoolander today; do yourself a favor - AVOID this movie at all costs! Not only what is just not funny, the whole assassination plot against the President of Malaysia was not tactful and rather inappropriate.

Ohh come on AM, how dare you say that right after I cut a check for the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

UKWildcat
02-28-2010, 08:12 PM
lol

Well played JimJam... well played...

JimJamBonds
03-01-2010, 10:26 AM
I just read that there will be a Zoolander 2.

Ando
03-01-2010, 12:24 PM
I just read that there will be a Zoolander 2.

POW!: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1608290/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1608290/)

I thouroughly ejoyed the first one. It was silly, lowbrow, andvirtually plotless, but in September of 2001 (IMO), it was the right movie at the right time.