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mabudonicus
06-23-2002, 07:10 AM
This is the saddest post I have ever had to compose. The things that made my life happy and worth really living have been taken away. I don't have what it would take to get past this point.
You guys and gals have been great, I will miss you all. Please visit my site, it'll probably stay up for a bit. I'll never get to finish it, but please don't be too rough on it. I tried. And in a way, I guess I failed big time.
Please, remember me. I can't go on, enough drama.
Take care guys. Mabudon out :(

Jek Porky 2002
06-23-2002, 07:17 AM
See ya, [EDITED]


Mod note:That was not appropriate and thus edited out.
DA

Jargo
06-23-2002, 09:02 AM
?????????????????????????????????????????? :confused:

jeddah
06-23-2002, 11:15 AM
.....I don't know, but one thing I do know, is that song "softer in the summer" on your website is possibly the most inspired piece of songwriting I ever did hear :)

It reminds me of South Park song :D :D

jeddah

SWAFMAN
06-23-2002, 11:22 AM
in light of mabudon's reply later today, I'm removing the original, unnecessarily alarmist information I had previously posted in this space.....



Best of Luck in resolving your situation mabudon.

Sincerely,
Swafman

bandontherun
06-23-2002, 11:33 AM
Even if he is not Justin Cruse, this is very bad. Nobody should take their life away, because it just means you're not in control of yourself. Please come back, I hope you are still with us.

Eternal Padawan
06-23-2002, 01:36 PM
Originally posted by SWAFMAN
Does anyone know mabudon's real name? Because if it's Justin Cruse, then this is a very seriously important and tragic thread

http://www.scstandard.com/

SWAFMAN, I found that article after reading mabudon's post. My four deleted posts concerned my efforts to contact mabudon by any means neccessary. I posted that article link, then I contacted the moderators to see if they have more personal info on him (name, address, phone number, etc) I contacted the newspapers editor with a copy of his post to see if there was anything he could do in St Catherines. I scrolled back through all of mabudon's 361 posts to see if there was anything he might have said. Then I came across a post in the "How old are you?" thread where he stated he was 28, not 21 as Justin Cruse is. This is not to say that mabudon has not been affected by the same tragedy in some way.

I sincerely hope mabudon checks back in to see how concerned we are for him. :(

2-1B
06-23-2002, 01:41 PM
I know mabudon's real name, rest assured it is not Justin Cruse.

But I was pretty freakin' scared to see St. Catherine's at the top of that link Swaffy. :cry:

I'm waiting to hear back from him, I don't know anything beyond that . . . :(

InsaneJediGirl
06-23-2002, 01:43 PM
I hope mabudon is okay:( :cry: :( :(

Thanks for the info Caesar.

2-1B
06-23-2002, 01:53 PM
Originally posted by Eternal Padawan
This is not to say that mabudon has not been affected by the same tragedy in some way.

Yes, you are quite right, but I think (hope) that's not the case, as those terrible murders took place a week ago . . . I've heard from him since then and it didn't come up, but no I cannot rule it out.

Waiting for his return . . . :(

Jargo
06-23-2002, 02:08 PM
Shouldn't someone delete Jek Porky's post, which seems a little tasteless somehow. I'm sure it was posted in jest but all the same.... :(

SWAFMAN
06-23-2002, 02:10 PM
well, I'm somewhat relieved by the info in the posts from EP & Caesar (thanks to you both), but still obviously concerned at the tone of mabudon's post....

2-1B
06-23-2002, 02:14 PM
I have a phone number from an old PM, I'll be back soon . . .

Beast
06-23-2002, 02:20 PM
I wish a mod was on to delete that post also Emporer Jargo. I'm a bit worried myself. I only know Mabudon from the forums, but I did like him. I hope everything is ok. I'm glad Caesar has a phone number, hopefully he can find out whats going on. :(

MTFBWY and HH!!

Jar Jar Binks

2-1B
06-23-2002, 02:31 PM
I got an answering machine, and left a message that it's me from SSG and that he needs to check back in with the site because we have some info for him. He gave me his number because of a deal we've been cooking up over the past week, I thought I deleted the message but thankfully it was still in my inbox.

I don't know what else to do . . .

bigbarada
06-23-2002, 05:13 PM
Oh boy, this seems bad.....:(

DeadEye
06-23-2002, 05:34 PM
I don't get it. What's even going on? What's happening?

mabudonicus
06-23-2002, 05:47 PM
I got the message from Caesar on the phone.... I actually was on the shore of Lake Erie with a long time friend, just trying to make sense of my situation. To be sure, a dark march lies ahead, but I am fully determined to see it through. I really do feel AWFUL right now, everything is all messed up as far as where I'll actually be in the next few months...... I just wanted to make that post cause I am upset enough to have trouble writing to all my friends here..
I am NOT that guy , my first name's Carl...(last name starts with an F)
I am also not Peter Kiss, the 5 person murderer from Guelph (or whatever, but that is his name, not mine)
Also THANK YOU Jeddah... your praise means a lot :)
Thank you to all of my friends (Emperor Howdy,darth rage, JF96, Caesar (WE RULE), billfremore, haggis, JEDIpartnr,ChronicJedi, Count dooku, Greedo, croaker,) who I have had the privelege (dammit!!) of meeting.If I forgot anyone, I'm sorry, I'm having a real hard time as it is.
To everyone, please accept my apologies, I will be back as soon as reality permits it, and I will visit as often as I can remotely..
I am DEEPLY moved by the response to this thread, and only returned due to Caesar's response. I will be back from time to time, and I'll REALLY miss you ALLL!!!! :(

JetsAndHeels
06-23-2002, 05:53 PM
Mabudon,
Thank God youre allright!! You really had us worried there buddy.
Glad you are ok.
Just want you to know we are thinking about you and we hope you will log on here whenever possible.
Good luck buddy.

Dar' Argol
06-23-2002, 06:03 PM
Can someone please inform me in a PM as to what the HECK is going on here!?!?!?!?! I concider Mabudon a friend here as most of you do. I am a little concered about this and would like further ingo. Can someone please PM me.

BTW I removed Jeks remarks Jargo, that was in bad taste. Thatx to JJB for the heads up on that one.

Dryanta
06-23-2002, 08:42 PM
All right,
Let me make this plain.If you need help you are to contact me.Do you understand that?No BS internet crap.You need me I 'll take the ride.You are not alone no matter what your situation may be telling you.Understand me.YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! You contact me anytime .You PM me and I'll make sure you have my phone number.I'm in Jersey and will be home Wed. morning.
Please take your friends here serious when we say anything you need,yell.
I don't know the particulars and I don't need to.There enough shoulders right here for you to use to help carry any load.
Mine alone are pretty broad and are availible.Understand?Don't be stupid and not use what's available to you.
That is reality.If you cannot get me directly,find Jason B,BigB or Jangofett96 and they will.Take us up on the offer.You are not alone at anytime.

sith_killer_99
06-23-2002, 09:41 PM
Anything you need.LMK

You will be in our families prayers.

DeadEye
06-23-2002, 09:57 PM
Hmm, in an attempt to lighten this mood a bit, I'll note that mabudon has once again forgotten to mention me!

Lord Malakite
06-24-2002, 01:04 AM
Originally posted by Dar' Argol
Can someone please inform me in a PM as to what the HECK is going on here!?!?!?!?! I concider Mabudon a friend here as most of you do. I am a little concered about this and would like further ingo. Can someone please PM me.

BTW I removed Jeks remarks Jargo, that was in bad taste. Thatx to JJB for the heads up on that one.

Yeah, I want to know whats going on too? I'm in the dark on this one. :confused:

mabudonicus
06-24-2002, 01:23 AM
Man, I didn't realise how "tight" this community is.
I am extremely upset over the way I have allowed my life to be played out (that should explain it:() I am not suicidal or anything like that, I am just REALLY upset. I returned due to an actual phone call from a good friend I met here..... I am so touched by the response given my pathetic thread, for real.
To all of you who have responded with kindness, thank you.
I am afraid of coming across as weak, but I have no choice, I fear. Thank you all, again, and I will use the next few days to be as much "mabudon" as y'all can handle....WOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Lord Malakite
06-24-2002, 02:08 AM
"I am extremely upset over the way I have allowed my life to be played out."

How has it played out? It certainly can't be any worse than my life. I nearly drowned when I was two. I was burned severly when a boiling pot water used to cook hotdogs was accidently knocked over and poored on my face. I had to have my head stitched up when I tripped and cracked my head open on the coffee table. I've fallen down a flight of stairs on four seperate occasions. I was stabbed in the back about 15 times with a pencil. I was knocked unconcious when I was kicked upside the head by someone swinging. I've been hit in the family jewels on more than one occassion (mostly by running into something when not paying attention to where I was going). Then of course, my most recent incident. Tripping and rolling down the top of a hill (more like a small mountain), with a road paved in brick on it, only to be nearly ran over by oncoming traffic as I went down the middle or the street. Nearly 4 weeks later and I still have a slight pain/limp in my leg, not to mention all the bruising. It could be worse though, I should probably be dead.

God keeps trying, but I always come back for more. :D

Beast
06-24-2002, 02:19 AM
Originally posted by Lord_Malakite
"I am extremely upset over the way I have allowed my life to be played out."

How has it played out? It certainly can't be any worse than my life. I nearly drowned when I was two. I was burned severly when a boiling pot water used to cook hotdogs was accidently knocked over and poored on my face. I had to have my head stitched up when I tripped and cracked my head open on the coffee table. I've fallen down a flight of stairs on four seperate occasions. I was stabbed in the back about 15 times with a pencil. I was knocked unconcious when I was kicked upside the head by someone swinging. I've been hit in the family jewels on more than one occassion (mostly by running into something when not paying attention to where I was going). Then of course, my most recent incident. Tripping and rolling down the top of a hill (more like a small mountain), with a road paved in brick on it, only to be nearly ran over by oncoming traffic as I went down the middle or the street. Nearly 4 weeks later and I still have a slight pain/limp in my leg, not to mention all the bruising. It could be worse though, I should probably be dead.

God keeps trying, but I always come back for more. :D
Wow Lord Malakite, you must be like the most unluckiest person that I have ever encountered. Thanks for making me feel so much better about myself and my problems. ;) :D

MTFBWY and HH!!

Jar Jar Binks

Lord Malakite
06-24-2002, 02:30 AM
You think thats bad, I didn't even mention the incidents with power tools. One time the drill slipped and hit me in the stomach, but luckily it only got tangled up in my shirt. Another time was looking through a hole in the wall, meanwhile my dad was on the other side with the drill getting ready to use it again. Next thing you know, their was a sharp pain in my eye. Luckily the drill didn't penetrate my eye, it did shoot all the saw dust in my eye though (resulting in my pain).

Thats why I don't drive people, because we all now what will happen next. ;)

Eternal Padawan
06-24-2002, 07:42 AM
Thank the maker mabudon is here and well. I have to say I am equal parts deliriously happy (for having him here) and upset (for putting us all through that.) I was so worried about what was going on I was catatonic for much of yesterday morning.

Special thanks to Caesar for making the call. I can sleep a little bit easier knowing guys like him are on the job. :)

DA, I PMd the Mods the second I read the original post, requesting that someone get a hold of mabudon. I asked for names, adress, phone number...anything that could contact him. Apparently that link isn't working.



And I'm with Dryanta. If ANY of you ever feel the need to talk. WE are ALL here for you. NONE of YOU are EVER ALONE as long as we have a community here at SSG. NEVER hesitate...

Croaker
06-24-2002, 08:14 AM
Good to hear that it wasn't suicidal. we were worried.
Take the time you need to get better, get over it, work it out, whatever is neccessary.
We're all here if you want to talk about anything.

Taking a walk down by the lake is a good start. I used to live right on the shore of Lake Ontario (in Mississauga) and going and sitting by the water and talking things over with friends is good.

Hell, I even did it in St.Catharines. I was working there most of last summer and occasionally went down to the lake and took a nice walk on the beach or the pier.
I always found it helped.

( I was working in the commercial area down by the new walmart and Crappy tire - but just off the QEW.)

Hope things are looking up
:)

Jargo
06-24-2002, 08:24 AM
I have to say that recently I went through a real down patch. I'd got so blue I couldn't summon the energy to respond to most things people said. If it hadn't been for jedipartnr being there for me I guess I'd have thought no-one cared and just wandered off to do something stupid. I won't go into details but sufice to say i have very major stuff going on here and it gets very oppresive sometimes. Just having one person to talk to about it even though it's a tranatlantic conversation and stilted by the PM system really helped. It took part of the weight away and allowed me room to manouvre the other chunk of problems I was facing. Big thanks to Jedipartnr for being the best friend :)

I would definately say that if you have something playing on your mind then even just talking about it to someone here can help. It might not solve the problems but the talking is part of the cure.

The other beauty of talking to people online is not having to see faces. half the time having to talk face to face can hinder how you express your feelings and talking online eliminates that fear so you can really open up and say what's on your mind - up to a point and the auto censor permitting.

I concur with Eternal padawan, don't ever think you're alone, this is a huge community and there's always someone who can offer an ear to listen if nothing else. :)

JEDIpartner
06-24-2002, 08:28 AM
Just checked in from my weekend with a friend from D.C. and didn't know any of this was unfolding. Somehow I was drawn to look at the G.D. section before any of the others and now I know why!! :eek:

Carl... life is going to be fine. No one has it that good. If they say they do.. they are lying and hiding from something, if not themselves. Believe me... this I know. I live in Cleveland, OH... on the opposite shore of Lake Erie. Just look across and know that I am over here and thinking about you. You have been a great friend and inspite of all of the outside forces working against you. Know that you are a good person and are a valued individual. The thing that makes you so cool is that individuality. That's probably why you experience such difficulties as I do. You are determined to forge your own path through life and no one else really understands your processes and they come up against you in a variety of ways.

Stay in touch and let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I will keep you in my prayers and meditations. A postive ebb of energy will reach you, I promise. Don't refuse it.

derek
06-24-2002, 04:50 PM
well it looks like lord malakite is actually homer simpson in disguise.:) no mere mortal could survive all those events!:crazed:
only homer jay simpson!:D

chewie
06-24-2002, 06:23 PM
I'm not even gonna mention my problems other than I actually allowed depression to affect me so much that I somehow gave myself an incurable, painful illness that could have been avoided if I had just simply gone to seek treatment for it before the illness got worse. Now I live my days seriously paying for my ill thoughts. I have quite a few more physical problems, but I'll leave that big one out in the open.

mabudonicus
06-24-2002, 07:06 PM
Man alive!! I really didn't mean to start a terrible thing here guys and gals!! I don't have a family, and I consider everyone here a family of sorts, and I really didn't know where to go, so I came to you. Depression is terrible, and honestly, I can say that I was truly deeply touched by the response by everyone here, even Lord Malakite ( I tried to PM you, but I got disconnected whilst doing so, after finishing my opus and everything... I will contact you, I promise) To my friends old and new here THANK YOU. If you are ever coming this way, just PM me. I'll take care of you . It's the least I can do. (locals to the area, let's meet up sometime)
I'm nowhere near out of the thicket, but I've got allies, and they're the best friends one could ever hope for.
Chewie..... my heart goes out to you.... take care of yourself.... we are all your friends, we/they will help you!!!

Dar' Argol
06-24-2002, 10:12 PM
To put everyone at ease a bit, I have been in conversation with maubudon over the past couple of days. I do not know the exacts of the problem, but I do know a bit. He is fine and "dealing" with this. I have offered myself at anytime to talk to. Any of you how poped into a "certain thread" knows I have been through a far share of hard times. I am no way a qualified person to be doing such a thing, but sometimes all you need is a kindred spirit to listien to you and help you along the way. This invitation is just not for mabudon, if for any of you. I am always willing to listien.

Once again, mabudon is doing . . . . well:)


Oh, BTW, I edited the title of the thread as not to seem so drastic.

Eternal Padawan
06-25-2002, 08:14 AM
DA, you can remove those empty posts of mine at the beginning if you want. I don't want JT to think I'm postpadding or anything...

I think I need to start PMing more people privately and getting to know them better. I only know Dale, Nate, Andy, and Tony (and now mabudon). I think there's more of a connection knowing who somebody REALLY is than under the anonymity of a Username. Well, I'm glad everyone is pulling for mabudon, but how many of you are out there suffering silently? We are all here to talk. It's a private message button away. Problems? JEDIPartnr can solve them....;)

mabudonicus
06-25-2002, 12:09 PM
Thank everyone again. I was going to ask that the name be changed, just because. Dar'Argol is right, I am dealing with the situation. The particulars are inconsequential, as I have realised from you all. Mabudon is not going away, and oddly,thanks to YOU (the whole communtiy) I have at least a dozen GREAT things more on my plate to enjoy..... LET'S EAT!!!
Thank you all, I apologise for the mess I've made. Thanks for making it clear that I MUST fix it. I will, and I will do my best to keep the smile "authentic". You people make me happy.

2-1B
06-25-2002, 12:32 PM
Originally posted by mabudon
I have at least a dozen GREAT things more on my plate to enjoy..... LET'S EAT!!!

A dozen vegetarian things, no doubt. :rolleyes: :D
I'm hungry! :happy:




Originally posted by Eternal Padawan
how many of you are out there suffering silently?

*sniff* I suffer from a fixation with creating and using Rick McAvatars. :cry:

JEDIpartner
06-25-2002, 02:17 PM
Originally posted by Eternal Padawan
Problems? JEDIPartnr can solve them....;)

I do my best to serve my community! :D

JetsAndHeels
06-25-2002, 02:22 PM
Just remember Mabudon that everyone goes through tough times. Like my father always used to tell me, the only people who arent stressed and arent upset sometimes are the ones who have gone on before us. Its just part of life, but thats why its so great to have friends and family to get you through it. We all share your joy and sorrow.
I also have dealt with depression. It is hereditary and runs in my family on my mother's side. She had it and took medicine, then I got it. I took some medicine for it but weened off of it eventually. There are times when I feel like I need to be back on something to help me but I realize that it is human to get depressed sometimes as well.
Just know we are all here for you. This is the greatest group of people ive ever encountered. Its like a big family here, and I am so glad that I have joined it.

Jargo
06-25-2002, 03:27 PM
What I learned about depression troughs is that when you realise you're in one you're already part way out. It's the slide down that you don't notice until you hit the bottom, then you wallow around for awhile wondering how in hell you got there but before you know it, you distracted yourself long enough to find a foothold that will help you climb out the pit and find your way back to a semblence of 'normality'.

Seems there's a few of us here who suffer depression. The one thing I want to say is that depression is nothing to feel ashamed about. And the second thing about depression is that when people constantly tell you to cheer up because it might never happen - it already did happen which is why you got the long face. so shut up already!
People suffering from depresion need help not hindrance. Space to explore the depths of their feelings but the closeness of friends nearby.
People suffering from depression don't need to talk all the time but need an ear and a strong shoulder should they decide to talk.
People who suffer from depression don't need pressure to behave 'normally' or smile all the time. If someone is really down and doesn't want to get a wash because they don't see the point, then screaming at them for being a "scummy dirtbag!" isn't going to help really. I speak from personal experience on that one :)

I chose not to take medication for my depression. I'm against putting chemicals into my body that aren't there already. I deal with my depression privately. Nobody really knows I'm a depressive. In fact I suffer from the weird kind that as well as taking you right down there from time to time, basically gives you no emotions, life is flat to me. I have no joy and I have no real sadness. I'm stuck in the middle like a living flatliner. It's hard. people look at you like there's something weird going on when you don't crack a smile. I'm a zombie depressive. That's where training as an actor came in useful to me. I 'act' emotions now. I learned the correct responses pretty much like Data in Star Trek TNG. crap analogy but I think you get the drift. reality to me is waking up and feeling - nothing. But strange as this probably sounds, even though I know I have talents that others don't - I just don't appreciate them. Other people get the joy from my talents and that I suppose gives me a kind of purpose in life. If I can't feel the joy then other people might as well get some. I just kinda watch the happy faces from the sidelines. Always an observer, never a participant.

God this post seems so darned gloomy! I didn't mean it to be this way but wanted to share the real me with you. been posting so long and never engaged properly with people. I'm bad at the PM thing too, hardly ever reply when I should and I'm sorry for that. I don't want anyone thinking I'm rude. Just don't see anything as urgent. I have no concept of time really. Weeks and days are all one and the same to me. Kinda freaky waking up in a month and not knowing which one. Can't tell the time either. I'm discalculaic. I think that's the word, it means number blind or numerically dyslexic. I can see obvious numbers like ten and six but I have a problem with the bits between the hour numbers and twenty four hour clocks are just insane. Roman numeral clocks are like looking at a foreign language. then there's big numbers with more than two digits....... :eek:
Anyway, that's me, or part of me. Since we were having this kind of discussion I thought a little frankness was called for.

Carl, take it easy. I've been to the lowest point imaginable and come back to tell the tale. So there is a way out - honest. :happy:
We aren't going away, so whenever you want to talk there's someone here. And even when you don't want to talk there's someone here. But if you don't want to talk but feel you might like to - at some unspecified point in the near future but-just-not-right-now-thank-you-very-much... there's someone here anyway. :D

And one last thing carl - just what in god's name is that bloody avatar? I've been sitting here for two days trying to fathom it. is it food, sex toys, animals, narcotics, what? I simply have to know.

bandontherun
06-25-2002, 06:56 PM
After I first read this, I immediately left the forum, because I couldn't stand to see this. I'm glad that you're ok, Mabudon.

billfremore
06-25-2002, 10:16 PM
Okay kids, everybody can relax.

I spoke to Mabudon this evening and he's fine.
As he said he is truly touched by the response from everybody and I think it's had a major effect on him.

Mabudon is here to stay and I for one am glad. :) :D

mabudonicus
06-26-2002, 02:52 PM
Thanks Jargo, for clearing that up. I actually figured that, with your "epic" posts, you just didn't have time to respond. Your analysis is appreciated, and JUST FOR YOU, Here it is- my avatar is some plate of exotic fruit, sampled on a lower quality so it's just a BLECHH. I've tried to upload tons of avatars, but I'm always like 3 bytes over the limit. That's too bad, cause some of them were DANDIES (no rick kmc series, or nothing but good anyways) Thanks for your time, billfremore, I can't believe your head didn't explode at the rate I was talking.... :)

billfremore
06-26-2002, 02:54 PM
No biggie Mabudon.

I've heard faster :)

pthfnder89
06-26-2002, 03:55 PM
Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO

And one last thing carl - just what in god's name is that bloody avatar? I've been sitting here for two days trying to fathom it. is it food, sex toys, animals, narcotics, what? I simply have to know.

Hahahah, thank you Emperor Jargo. I've been desperately trying to figure that out for days but with all that's been going on it just didn't seem the right time to ask. :)

Mabudon - I'd like to add my best wishes and hopes that everything will be alright. Like EJ and several others here I've been battling depression for large part of my life so I know it can be tough. But there are always ways out of it in the end. :)

Obi-Don
06-27-2002, 03:37 AM
I too know about depression. I have never been one of those guys that fit in. Never really had a close friend and it always seem to me that others would rather be with someone else than me. That has still gone unchanged. Sometimes I don't mind and say to myself I don't need them and other times it hurts. There was time when I almost gave up and did something really stupid,thank GOD I didn't. I haven't been here as long as some and maybe I don't post as much as I could. I have really enjoyed being here and the people here are the best. Yes, I do feel like we are all family here. With you guys I have more than the people around me. How many of them can say "I have friends all over the world."

jjreason
06-27-2002, 03:42 PM
Glad to see/hear/read that things are back to "normal" or some semblance of normality (if there is such as thing), Mabudon. Here's something interesting from the drug awareness classes I teach, I thought it might be kind of relevant.
Everyone has 3 specific social needs that have to be met for us to feel happy with ourselves: the need to care for others and be card for; the need to feel belonging; the need to be recognized for things you do well or great efforts you make. I personally gained some understanding of why I get the blues from time to time when I read these needs over the first time.
You apparently have tons of friends here, based on the replies above, and being a part of a group like the one here at SSG forums helps meet those needs. Obviously, we all wish you the best. Don't hesitate to let any of us know if there's anything we can do. Anything.

2-1B
06-28-2002, 01:08 AM
Originally posted by Obi-Don
I too know about depression. I have never been one of those guys that fit in. Never really had a close friend and it always seem to me that others would rather be with someone else than me. That has still gone unchanged. Sometimes I don't mind and say to myself I don't need them and other times it hurts. There was time when I almost gave up and did something really stupid,thank GOD I didn't. I haven't been here as long as some and maybe I don't post as much as I could. I have really enjoyed being here and the people here are the best. Yes, I do feel like we are all family here. With you guys I have more than the people around me. How many of them can say "I have friends all over the world."

((((((( GROUP Obi-Don HUG )))))))

:)

RooJay
06-28-2002, 03:34 AM
Thanks Caesar! I feel better already. Glad to hear you're alright mabudon. I myself have been going through some rocky times. Things are not well for me at home lately; if I can still call it home. I've been staying with my girlfriends family for the past two weeks, which is why until just yesterday I hadn't been posting much (I had to come back home yesterday to take care of a few things. I still don't feel very welcome here.). Last night after driving here from my lady's house I almost had to pull over because I couldn't see through my own tears. I haven't cried like that since I was a kid. I'm finding myself missing my girlfriend an awful lot at the moment! :( I have felt quite down and out a few times in my life, but it always helps me to realize that things could always be worse...and things will always get better.:happy: A good friend of mine once imparted me with a bit of advice that has come to sum up my life philosophy pretty well: One day (probably a long ways from now) I am going to die, and when I'm laying on my death bed none of the crap I'm going through right now is going to count for squat! On that day it'll be only the good things that I look back on.;) Plus, no matter how bad I think I've got it, all I have to do is remember that God is always there to see me through the trouble!
Mabudon, and everyone else for that matter, please know that I am always here as well if anyone ever needs a shoulder to lean on. I'm always willing to talk if anyone needs it. HELL, it won't even matter to me what you want to talk about!:D