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View Full Version : Weird thoughts -aka- Did you ever notice? (merged)



Emperor Howdy
10-12-2001, 12:48 AM
One of my employees called in today, so I worked alone. As you know, when you are alone....no one to B.S. with, you just think. Anyway, here are some of the things that crossed my mind:

Has anyone, in the history of mankind, gone in to get a physical, and accidently gotten a....umm....you know.....during the exam?

Concrete trucks look like they are driving backwards.....really...check it out sometime.

Do women's restrooms have the same obnoxious pictures, poems, and phone numbers on the stall walls like ours?

Who came up with the idea of rolling dried leaves in paper and smoking 'em? Probably Indians in a pipe...but why? How much nasty crap did they inhale before they got it right?

Why wasn't Nancy Reagan at the National funeral?

I want to make an audition tape for Survivor.

How come the media interviews the dumbest people on earth, making us ALL look dumb?....like when they do random street interviews.

I hate attention-starved, tye-dye wearing, pierced-tongue, anti-war college posers who prance around campus holding picket signs because of their pot-smoking, ex-hippie history professor.

How come when we fa...oh..sorry..."pass gas" by ourselves, we don't even crack a smile, but if others are around, we laugh hysterically.

Not that I would want it, but do you realize Hitler ruined that style of mustache for everyone....for ALL eternity? Go ahead and shave yours like that and watch what happens.

Why do I find Angelina Jolie (sp?) totally unattractive, but have this weird thing for Courtney Love?

How do we know the Taliban isn't snagging some of that food we're dropping?

I'm sure I thought of other things, but I'm pretty sure it was mostly work-related stuff. Has anyone else had some thoughts they'd like to discuss?

Rollo Tomassi
10-12-2001, 09:10 AM
Is it possible to get just one herpe?


Why does it always take longer to walk to someplace than it takes to walk back? Except when you leave the mall and think "Man. I parked all the freakin' way out there?"

Does anybody really see constellations in the stars? I don't see anything like a bear or a lion. Except the big dipper...

Two thousand + years ago, people were afraid of their own mortality and created all these fictional stories to explain life after death and in an endless cycle of brainwashing young children in church, these stories have endured and perpetuated for the last two millenium until people take them as fact. That is the ultimate wierd.

Lobito
10-12-2001, 01:10 PM
ok here we go:

Is it true all the things that are boradcasted in the news...(CNN, CBS, ABC...etc)???

Do we really reached the moon???

Are we ever going to know who shot JFK...??

Will there be at least one year without wars in the world...???

If we celebrate Christmas in December 25th...then why do we start the year 6 days after Ctmas...??? The count started after Jesus was born...

Have u ever had a "Deja-vu"...and what does that mean?? (i liked the Matrix cuzz at least the gave a shot to explaining this one):D

Are humans still missing a part of evolution??

Ok now some remarks:

"To be or not to be"....W. Shakespeare
"To do is to be"...some famous guy
"Do be do be doooo"...Scooby Doo

:p

master jedi
10-12-2001, 05:42 PM
'97% effective?'

'Why am I at school in my underwear?'

'Secret sause? Are you sure this isn't mayo that has been set out in the sun?'

bigbarada
10-12-2001, 06:36 PM
Why do we tell kids not to do drugs and then prescribe them Prozac and Ritalin? Are these diseases really just now appearing for the first time? Or are they just manufactured by the drug companies to create a market for useless drugs?

Why do my co-workers give me crap for spending $100 on Star Wars figures then go and spend their entire paycheck on beer and hookers?

Why did that truck just drive by with a gigantic missile strapped to it? :confused: (Oh yeah, they're just relocating the Air Defense Artillery Museum. **whew**)

Why do people complain that kids never read enough, then when something like Harry Potter comes around they complain that they are reading too much?

Did anyone ever actually buy a picture-in-picture television set?

Why do I have so much trouble crawling out of bed at 4:30 in the morning and am tired and sluggish all day; but when it is time to go to bed I can't sleep?

Emperor Howdy
10-13-2001, 12:10 AM
Good ones!

.....and how come every high school kid in our dad's yearbooks looks 40, but nowadays an 18 year old looks 13?

Rollo Tomassi
10-13-2001, 07:53 AM
Why are guitars all different colors, but banjos are always white?

We look forward to sneezing, but dread coughing.

Who decided a fork and spoon would be called "fork" and "spoon" Those are silly words.

When accompanying images of our troops invading Afghanistan, do you hear the classic Star Wars theme or the Imperial March?

JediTricks
10-13-2001, 11:22 AM
If any unforeseen "excitement" occurs during a physical exam, there is a special technique which involves flicking the base of the area to get rid of said "excitement". This happened to at least 4 of my PE classmates in Jr High every year, and they always told this same story.

Women's restrooms do indeed have graffiti in them. There are a few websites out there that have quotes from various restrooms from around the country and mention whether they're men's or women's rooms.

Would you stop for a stupid on-the-spot news or tv interview? Most folks with a brain wouldn't, so they only get the goofs who would. ;)

Not everybody who protests violence and war is a hippie trying to live up to the '60s, some actually believe in peace or at least not killing millions of innocent Muslims to nab hundreds of guilty ones.

Mob mentality makes most people stupider. Not every grouping falls into mob mentality though.

Angelina Jolie is a freaky weirdo with nasty implants and ugly emotional and physical scars some of which involve her sex/knifeplay issue.

"Herpes" is a Latin word, from the Greek "herpein", a verb which means "to creep".

TV has ruined our minds, that's why we don't see anything in the stars. I too see what they're getting at with the big dipper though.

Yes, we really reached the moon.

We may all already know who shot JFK now, but we may never be able to accept the answer, no matter what it may be.

Christmas comes 4 months too late, the calendar was messed up by countless things like emperors naming new months after themselves, tree-worshipping pagans having harvests and festivals at certain times of year getting their times stolen, etc..

"Deja-vu" is a French word literally meaning "already seen", it's a sense of having seen or done something before. Some scientists believe that this is actually a biochemical reaction when a neuron misfires and interprets current events as a memory. There are other physiological, psychological, and spiritual theories on where this phenomenon comes from.

"Secret sauce" is often a mixture of thousand-island dressing and ketchup and/or mustard.

Prozac is a drug that shuts down certain neural pathways while locking others in "always open" status, basically turning off certain levels of emotion. Ritalin is a stimulant which was given out in the '70s like candy because it was a new drug and nobody wanted to worry about side-effects. Children are the born suckers that drug companies are looking for, since the kids haven't had enough life experience to know when they're being finagled and parents are often too worried to disagree with a Dr prescribing a drug he's been paid to use more of. Some drugs do have worthwhile purposes, but the FDA and drug companies hardly ever do enough testing on the effects of a drug product on children.

"Beer and hookers" are somehow more societally-acceptable than toys, even though toys last longer and can allow you to access important parts of your imagination which are stunted by adult life. People would rather see their fellow man miserable than accept that they are not living life the way they would like to.

At 4:30 in the AM, the outside world is still dark, this darkness affects the pineal gland in your head which is what controls your internal clock, which is part of your sleep cycle. Thus, when you are surrounded by natural darkness, your pineal gland says "hey, it's still sleep time!" to various other body parts as well as triggering the creation of melatonin, a hormone which triggers sleepiness. Thus, you are still sleepy until you get into the light, so you still have that pineal gland slowly turning down the "sleep, you moron, sleep!" command until it becomes daylight. Thus, you're still sleepy when you are active, and it keeps going throughout your day, but since you've finally worked all that sleepiness out by nighttime, you have geared up your body for more living, you go to sleep later, get less sleep, and start the next day at 4:30. Thus, a cycle is born. Things that help fix this are changing your eating times, what you have for the final meal of the day, having more light around you in the morning when you awaken, and getting a good start to the day with the right kinds of foods and a nice light series of stretching and exercises.

Between hairstyles and styles changing throughout the generations, there is also the changing of perceptions in an individual making the last generation look older at your target age and the younger generation seem younger at the age. However, there is also a theory that as the human race lives longer on average, the body matures differently so certain changes may physically occur at different times, and the next generation may actually LOOK younger at the target age because their growth is changed from yours. While they may mentally mature earlier or hit puberty earlier, their looks may not mature until they hit their twenties.

Banjos are often white because they have snare-drum style body which requires a drumhead-like skin. Since they're not a contemporary music instrument, most manufacturers don't seem interested in altering the design much.

Coughing hurts when you let it out while sneezing usually hurts only when you keep it in.

Spoon is from the Old English word "spon", it means "a chip of wood". Fork is from the Latin "furca" and it basically means "branching out" like a fork in a road.


Why does thread look like one of Jerry Seinfeld's joke-writing notebooks? "...and what's the deal with strawberries?!?"

Emperor Howdy
10-13-2001, 02:29 PM
Strawberries are any plant of the genus Fragaria of the family Rosaceae (rose family), low herbaceous perennials with edible red fruits, native to temperate and mountainous tropical regions. The European everbearing strawberry (F. vesca) is the only species that does not put out the stolons typical of this easily propagated genus. It has been cultivated sporadically since pre-Christian times but intensively only since the 15th cent. The common strawberry, grown in many varieties in both Europe and America, is Fragaria × Ananassa, the result of the hybridization of F. chiloensis, believed to be indigenous to Chile and to the mountains of W North America, with the wild strawberry (F. virginiana) of E North America. Both species were introduced to Europe by New World explorers; the large French industry grew from a single common strawberry plant. Strawberries are sold fresh, frozen, or in preserves and are used in confectionery and for flavoring. The word Strawberry is in itself, peculiar to the English language. The name has a variety of posssible origins. Straw was commonly used to mulch the plants during the winter and as weed and soil control to keep the berries cleaner. In London children used to collect the berries, string them on pieces of straw, then sell them at the markets as "Straws of Berries". The runners which the plants produce are said to be strewn or dispersed around the plant. In some literature the fruit is called strewberry. In Latin the fruit is referred to as "Fragra" or Fragrant. Charles Linneaus gave strawberry the species name of Fragaria. In French, Italian, and Spanish the fruit is refered to as a "Fraise" or fragrant berry.The Narragansett Indians of North America called the fruit "wuttahimneash" or "heart berry".

:p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p

Jargo
10-13-2001, 02:53 PM
How do fish sit down?

Where oh where has my puppy dog gone?

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Why is one of my ears higher than the other one while my nose is on an angle of ten degrees diagonal and my eyes are entirely different heights? OH WHY WAS I BORN SO UGLY!!!!!?

Did Carrie Fisher have a straight moment during the filming of ROTJ? Was she off her face on drugs all - ALL the time?

What do wasps actually do? Is there a reason for their existence?

Why underpants? If you take the time to clean yourself then why the need for another layer of clothing? Are we just conditioned to wear them as infants? I swear I'll never wear pants again!

Whale bones in bras, whose idea was that? How many woman have been lacerated to death by their bras? there must be some statistics somewhere.

Oh goody - it isn't going to be sheeps offal for dinner after all......

Emperor Howdy
10-13-2001, 03:23 PM
How come my cats spend hours of time playing, meowing, crawling on me, responding to my commands, showing all kinds of personality, but the second I try to convince my buddies who are die-hard dog owners that cats are just as cool, they just sit and stare at walls, prompting the response, "See, man? Dumb as doornails". I feel like the guy that owns that singing, dancing frog who just sits and ribbets when others are around.

bigbarada
10-13-2001, 03:27 PM
Originally posted by JediTricks
At 4:30 in the AM, the outside world is still dark, this darkness affects the pineal gland in your head which is what controls your internal clock, which is part of your sleep cycle. Thus, when you are surrounded by natural darkness, your pineal gland says "hey, it's still sleep time!" to various other body parts as well as triggering the creation of melatonin, a hormone which triggers sleepiness. Thus, you are still sleepy until you get into the light, so you still have that pineal gland slowly turning down the "sleep, you moron, sleep!" command until it becomes daylight. Thus, you're still sleepy when you are active, and it keeps going throughout your day, but since you've finally worked all that sleepiness out by nighttime, you have geared up your body for more living, you go to sleep later, get less sleep, and start the next day at 4:30. Thus, a cycle is born. Things that help fix this are changing your eating times, what you have for the final meal of the day, having more light around you in the morning when you awaken, and getting a good start to the day with the right kinds of foods and a nice light series of stretching and exercises.

Ahhh, this explains much, JT. Thanks. But I'm curious, does running four miles every morning after getting up at 430 AM count as a "nice, light exercise?":)

Jargo
10-13-2001, 03:31 PM
I feel like the guy that owns that singing, dancing frog who just sits and ribbets when others are around.

Yeah, know the feeling with my dog. A highly trained ex working dog who can find a particular brand of mayonnaise in the grocery store when asked to and knows that when he comes back indoors after taking a leak he has to clean his paws first, and can tell when you set the alarm clock that you want to be woken up at an unearthly hour of the night.A dog who will carefully lift the mail out of the mail box and bring it to you, a dog who willmeticulously check the house perimeter before going to bed at night for security, a dog who asks to be let out by sitting in front the door and tapping three times on it. Yet when friends are around will simply lie on his back and lick his doodads. Or sit like a lemon and lick your hands until they drip dog saliva but won't do a damn thing you ask him to.

Maybe I'd have been better off with a fish, I'd have had lower expectations with a fish. You just know there's no point trying to train a goldfish to tell you it needs feeding or the water needs changing...

Bel-Cam Jos
10-13-2001, 06:10 PM
Why are the qualities we seem to respect (honesty, respect, turning the other cheek, politeness, helpfulness, etc.) now seen as weak and cheesy?

Why do people yell during free throws in basketball games? Players expect that. Be perfectly silent, THEN yell a funny/weird phrase ("Did somebody say McDonald's?" ).

Why don't more people use erasable pens more?

Who was the first person to bump their "funny bone?" Why would it be funny?

How can you drop an egg 4 feet and not have it break? (This riddle's been in my head the last couple weeks. Yes, I know the answer)

Jargo
10-13-2001, 07:00 PM
If a cat was to fall from a twenty storey building window, would it still land on it's feet?

Why is it that dogs can lick there and we can't? That's an unfair advantage in my opinion....... And are we are the most evolved species, how come we de-evolved and lost our pelts? that's not evolving that's just stupid. Now we have to agonise over fashion and whether or not our bums look big in this or that.

Who first thought of boiling down horses hoofs and cow horns to make a substance you could set and melt at will? And who called it jelly?

Is time elastic? Sunday afternoons take twice as long as tuesday afternoons but wednesday afternoon is somewhere in the middle with friday afternoon being the shortest afternoon in the week. So should time be measured by the length of an afternoon? Time isn't money, time is jelly.

The chemicals the body absorbs during sleep could be bottled and you could take the chemicals like a shot every morning without the need to sleep at all. Thus the world could increase productivity and the global economy would just become staggeringly good again. Unless folk got addicted to the chemicals and overdosed. Which could be interesting as the chemicals are largely regenerative in nature. So if you took a large dose of this 'bottled rejuvination' on a twice daily basis, would you just not age, would your body get so rejuvinated that you just stopped at the age you started taking it?

Do cows have emotions?

Fulit
10-13-2001, 07:14 PM
Um, why do they call it "taking a dump", when you're not taking anything, you're leaving it?

Ok, I stole that from Beavis, I admit it.

master jedi
10-14-2001, 07:14 PM
Mommy, why does that man look funny?

Zookeeper. Zookeeper. Why is that one monkey killing that other monkey? Oooooohhhhhh. (I stole this one from Homer Simpson.)

JediTricks
10-15-2001, 08:44 AM
Originally posted by bigbarada
Ahhh, this explains much, JT. Thanks. But I'm curious, does running four miles every morning after getting up at 430 AM count as a "nice, light exercise?":) Sure thing. I believe this would be considered too much early work, your body goes from getting the oxygen going and the muscles stretched out to actual physical fatigue.


Erasable pens didn't catch on in my circle because the erasers mostly just tore the paper to shreds while leaving some of the ink.

The term "funny bone" comes from "crazy bone", a term brought about because of that unique feeling you get when you strike that part of your elbow when you have it bent in a certain way.

Cats that fall from windows over 3 stories in height often land safely on their feet. This is because after about 3 stories of falling, a cat's body stretches out in a certain way so the skin between the fore and hind legs becoming a glider-like wing, similar to a flying squirrel.

The term "gelatin" comes from the Latin term "gelare", which means "to freeze". I have no idea who first thought of this.

Time is about perception, though no matter how you measure it, it is still constant and linear within the confines of our planet.

The human body requires more than just a biochemical reaction to survive, it also requires REM sleep as a psychological "reset button". There is a great deal we still don't know about the human body, especially the human brain, and we're still not exactly sure why lack of sleep can completely change a personality, even to the point of death.

Beavis was immitating Andy Rooney when he asked that famous question, and the answer is simply that the word "taking" can mean either "getting something into one's possesion", "assuming the occupancy of", "creating (i.e. - taking a picture)", or about 2 dozen other meanings, so the verb is not describing the removal of an actual thing, the verb is actually describing the beginning of an activity.

Why is it that it took 3 more consoles to convince Sega to get out of the hardware industry than it should have? Everybody in the public knew they were going to lose the console wars by the time the 32x add-on failed, so why did Sega continue on?

Why doesn't Microsoft make an operating system without a bunch of their programs built into it that they could do better bug-testing on?

Rollo Tomassi
10-15-2001, 08:54 AM
Who decides the names for clothes detergents...Wisk, Tide, All, Surf...what do any of those have to do with washing clothes?

Why should you leave a tip at one restaurant but not at others like McDonalds?

Sweetmeats aren't meats. They are candy. Sweetbreads aren't bread. They are meat. So shouldn't we have sweetcandies that are bread. I need closure...

JediTricks
10-15-2001, 10:00 AM
Those soap titles are used by Madison avenue to make you, the consumer, think of churning sea tides, which somehow makes you think of clean clothes. You'll notice that many matress companies start with the letter "S", my guess is to make you think of "ssssoothing sssssssleep". ;) It's the same theory, if you look hard at advertising, you'll begin to see those sorts of things.


The idea of a tip is to give an extra "thank you" to the person who brought your food to your table, especially if they do a good job. At McDonalds, you bring your own food to the table. Also, on a corporate level of thinking, tipping can encourage favoritism in the employees which is the opposite of what they want from their employees.

Fulit
10-15-2001, 10:10 AM
<<more Beavis imitating Andy Rooney>>

"You know what I don't understand? Why is it every time I pick my nose, it's full again in a few minutes? Funk that!"

Jargo
10-15-2001, 01:34 PM
Wow, JT just became an oracle :) All hail JT, font of all knowledge and unstoppable fact machine ;)

Tipping is the fault of rich folk who want to impress. In Britain, tipping isn't commonplace unless you live down south where the penalty for not tipping is death by camp insult. :) Although death by hostility is just as effective. Up north waiters and watreses feel happy to make it through a shift with their lives. It can be a little rough up here, britcit3 would probably concur as he comes from my neck of the woods :)

How come there are no dogs in hotdogs? And there's no ham in hamburgers?

Who ate all the pies?

Who let the dogs out?

If the Jedi are the representative all species justice order of the galaxy, then why are there no alien padawan in the movies?

If the ships of star wars can make hyperspace jumps and have deflector shield technology and laser guns that can destroy other vehicles, then why don't they have voice activated controls? Surely there would be some better form of control than a big 'ol switch or dial?

JediCole
10-15-2001, 05:02 PM
Originally posted by Emperor Howdy
Good ones!

.....and how come every high school kid in our dad's yearbooks looks 40, but nowadays an 18 year old looks 13?

Or the corresponding conundrum, how come so many 13 year olds look 19? I'd sure hate to be still in my 20's and try to pick up a girl only to find out that you could be arrested! Have you seen some of these kids?!

JediCole
10-15-2001, 05:13 PM
Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO
Wow, JT just became an oracle :) All hail JT, font of all knowledge and unstoppable fact machine ;)



I was begining to wonder if JT was in reality the affable Cecil Adams of "The Straight Dope". If you are not fortunate enough to have one of those local newspapers that carry his weekly column, check out some of the "Straight Dope" books. Cecil's crack team of researchers have helped work the kinks out of thousands of imponderables for us, the "teeming millons". And of course his replies are even more fun than the questions.

Which brings me to an interesting point regarding the rose family of plants. This family also include such fruity favorites as the apple, apricot, and peach, and even my personal favorite nut (apart from myself), the almond. Someone had once asked Cecil if you could die from eating apricot and peach pits. It turns out that locked within those woody looking seed kernals is, if memory serves, cyanogenic acid, which metabolizes as sodium cyanide when digested. Interestingly enough, the concentrations are not high enough in most of these plants to prove fatal, unless glutonous amounts were consumed, except in the case of the humble almond. However, it seems that toasting of these seeds renders the cyanogenic acid inert so we can safely eat masses of almonds without fear.

The 'Xir
10-15-2001, 05:32 PM
Why is it that I have always wanted more posts like this one, and when I finally see one I have nothing to say! Doh! :confused:

Lobito
10-15-2001, 07:26 PM
Hmmm...concerning JFK...I'm not sure if u are talking of L.H.O....but if u are, then its true, i dont accept it.

I already knew what "Deja-vu" means, i was talking about the impact of having an experience like this. I have a friend that when he is experimenting a "Deja-vu", he can predict whats going to happen in the next 5 seconds. (Trully scary!!:eek: )

I'm glad u believe we reached the moon!!;)

Jargo
10-15-2001, 08:41 PM
Predicting the future in a flash like a deja vu is called preja vu. There's a third one too but I can't remember it right now. Preja vu is very common but not as common as deja vu. However, it does seem more likely that the brain simply spins a rapid amount of information around and comes up with the most logical conclusion as to what will happen next. Most of these occurances merely relate to everyday things and happenings that aren't so hard to predict. I don't have the vocabulary to explain this right now as it's way late over here and my eyes are almost closed with fatigue. I'm sure someone else can clarify my rambling for me. :)

JediCole
10-15-2001, 09:03 PM
Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO
Predicting the future in a flash like a deja vu is called preja vu. There's a third one too but I can't remember it right now. Preja vu is very common but not as common as deja vu. However, it does seem more likely that the brain simply spins a rapid amount of information around and comes up with the most logical conclusion as to what will happen next. Most of these occurances merely relate to everyday things and happenings that aren't so hard to predict. I don't have the vocabulary to explain this right now as it's way late over here and my eyes are almost closed with fatigue. I'm sure someone else can clarify my rambling for me. :)

Isn't there duja ve? The inescapable feeling that you've NEVER experienced this before?

Bel-Cam Jos
10-15-2001, 10:10 PM
deja vu = feeling you've been/done something before
duja ve = inescapable feeling that you've NEVER experienced something before
rage-a vu = intense feelings of anger a second time
page-a vu = feeling you've read something before
age-a vu = feeling you've been this age before
madeja vu = feeling someone has forced you to do this again
madejalook vu = feeling after someone tells you to look behind you
dayjob vu = feeling just like every other weekday at work
carpedium vu = feeling someone has tried this list with other words before

:) :) :) ;) :D :p :) :rolleyes: :D :p

TeeEye7
10-16-2001, 04:45 AM
Why don't bird dogs fly? :confused:

JediTricks
10-16-2001, 10:28 AM
Jargo, hot dogs are named that because around the turn of last century, people in New York got the idea that the local frankfurters had been made with dog meat, supposedly because of a sports cartoon where the artist called them "hot dogs" in reference to the dachshund since frankfurters look similar to the friendly wiener-dog. As for what IS in hot dogs, let's just say we'd all be happier not knowing. ;)

Hamburgers are named that not because they have ham, but because they are named after the German city of Hamburg. A few hundred years ago, German riders heading to and from Hamburg wanted to tenderize their beef and stuck it under their saddles for the long ride, by the time they got to their final destination, the meat was thoroughly tenderized. Eventually, this Hamburg practice turned into pounding and chopping the beef, and when it was brought to the US, sometime in the mid 19th century, it was put on the menu as "Hamburg Steak". In the late 19th century, the term "hamburger" - which simply means "from Hamburg" - was used to describe this style of beefsteak, which was slowly gaining in popularity. It was at the beginning of the 20th century when the modern hamburger sandwich - ground beef with pepper and onions mixed, then cooked and put on a bun - was introduced to the world at a world's fair.


Many 13-year-old girls feel uncomfortable with boys their own age and intentionally try to make themselves look older to attract males they feel are more suitable to their desires. Since 13-year-old girls often mature years earlier than 13-year-old boys, there is some level of difference between the genders there, however 13y/o girls are not as mature as they wish they were, which is why it's (wisely) taboo in our culture to date them when a male is more than a couple years older.


Heh heh, Cecil Adams' research team has to be on crack to find some of those things!


Lobito, what's this "we" stuff? I don't remember Mexico having a space program. ;) Kidding! Seriously though, what makes you think humanity HASN'T set foot on the moon? Most of the conspiricy theories I've seen on this issue have been pretty thin stuff, and the notion seems quite insulting to those brave men who risked their lives to get there.


Why can't companies who are trying to imitate Lego in the building block business use materials or designs which interlock as well as the original?

Why do people watch reality shows like "Love Cruise"?

What makes Henry Rollins so angry?

Why is it so difficult to capture Harrison Ford's likeness in an action figure?

Lobito
10-16-2001, 12:38 PM
You havent heard of Mexico's space program??? Just look at the back of the Millenium Falcon, it says: "Made in México":eek: ...hehehe j/k:D Although there was a Mexican astronaut named Rodolfo Neri Vela, he was part of the Discovery crew.

But seriously, the question, "do we really reached the moon?", is just an idea of what this thread is about: Weird Thoughts. ;)

Fulit
10-16-2001, 04:43 PM
Originally posted by JediTricks
What makes Henry Rollins so angry?



that's hilarious, I have been wondering that for years.

master jedi
10-16-2001, 09:27 PM
Why are we all here? Oh yeah. To make fun of Trekkers. Or is it Trekkies? The world may never know.

Emperor Howdy
10-17-2001, 06:16 AM
Do tobacco company officials and "scientists" (or whoever adds all the crap to tobacco to make cigs. more addicting) actually smoke?....and is it a brand from their company?

I've never cried while peeling, cutting, or eating an onion. I think depressed people simply feel better blaming onions.

What's the percentage of people who remove the pickle from their hamburgers or chicken sandwiches like I do? The pickles end up in the bag or slung out the car window. Perhaps if more than 50% remove them, it's time to stop "automatically" including the pickle. Why should WE have the inconvenience of removing them? The guy who likes the pickle should have to ask for it.

How much do you want to bet the d**khead mailing around the Anthrax envelopes ends up being an American?

When I was in 7th grade, our school took a field trip to Busch Gardens in Tampa. Back then they used to sell fruit juice in these plastic containers shaped like the fruit. So, if you wanted orange, you drank out of a plastic orange. In my case, it was a group of grapes cleverly molded to hold my grape juice. After several of these and a few rides later, two of my buddies and I decided on the Mamba (I think that was the name). It was one of those spider-shaped rides that rises up and down while you spin. Now, all I gotta say is this: Put me on a rollercoaster all day long if you want to...no problem...but that spinnin' crap?..like the Gravitron?....no way....but I digress. Anyway, my buddy John took a car in front of us, while my friend Dan sat with me. The ride started......slowly turning at first.....slowly rising...a liiiiiiiittle faster......liiiiiiittle faster....up and down a liiiiittle faster....getting a pretty good spin now....until finally we're full on haulin' a**. I enjoyed the ride for about 30 seconds, and after a few minutes, I remember saying to Dan in a mumbled voice, "Hey....hey man...I don't feel so good"....."What?", he says....I replied "I said I don't FEEL so good!"...."Well close your eyes"..(Ok...let me stop again and tell you this: When on a ride making you physically ill...do NOT close your eyes. I repeat...do NOT close your eyes..........anyway).........I closed my eyes. The ride seemed like it was taking two hours to stop, and I can only imagine the shade of pale green I was when Dan looked at me as I vomited buckets of grape juice in his face and lap. According to John in the car in front of us, it was like a 3' long spray. The last blast came just at the time the ride was stopping. The silence lasted an eternity, and when our car finally came around, I remember the look of horror on the face of the dude who opened the door.....seeing this guy completely covered in purple puke, even sloshing around on the floor, and not a DROP on me! I did what I and every one of you would do in the same position....I pointed and said "Awww, man, he puked!" The thing is, the exit line ran right beside the loooooong line of people waiting to get on, so at least fifty or sixty people were looking and laughing at Dan as we walked by. When we got to the bathroom, Dan washed his shirt (which was a football jersey, by the way, with the holes in it that the puke was leaking through) and I apologized profusely while at the same time laughing so hard tears were pouring from my eyes....kinda like just now when I was writing this. That was some funny s***....just thought I'd share it with you. :)

bigbarada
10-17-2001, 08:02 AM
Originally posted by Emperor Howdy
What's the percentage of people who remove the pickle from their hamburgers or chicken sandwiches like I do? The pickles end up in the bag or slung out the car window. Perhaps if more than 50% remove them, it's time to stop "automatically" including the pickle. Why should WE have the inconvenience of removing them? The guy who likes the pickle should have to ask for it.


I always toss the tomatos out the window and ask for extra pickles.

Obi-Don
10-17-2001, 08:37 AM
Here are mine,

Why do they put the paper on the outside of the straw,its the inside that you don't want to get dirty.

If you stand on a tolet,are you high on pot?

Why does time go so fast when you get older?

Why do they call the yellow traffic light a caution light,when we all know it means,speed up before it turns red.

If fat free is so good for you then why does it taste so bad?

If you travel at the speed faster than light,when you turn on the light are you still in the dark?

Why is it that you can have hundreds of cable channels and still there isn't anything on.

Why couldn't stop when I was ahead?

These are some of the things I think about. I need a life!
:D :D

JediTricks
10-17-2001, 09:16 AM
Lobito, who trained this Mexican astronaut? Was he NASA or some other space agency? Was he Mexican or Mexican-American (that means, for those who don't know PCspeak, the person is a natural-born citizen of the USA but has Mexican heritage), was he another mathematician or merely a statistician? ;) (Simpsons reference)


The difference between Trekkies and Trekkers is the level of fandom one has, and the level of fandom one group has in the public eye. Anybody who actually says "no, I'm a 'Trekker', not a 'Trekkie'" is taking things too seriously. I'm a trekkie. ;)


Tobacco executives are almost required to smoke, and to smoke the local brand, or so I've heard. I wonder what types of names and advertising the tobacco companies have all ready to go in case marijuana gets legalized? For at least 25 years, the big companies have had plans, including packaging, for this contingency and are conducting surveys about it. When my mom was in college, they were shown examples of this, packaging designs and ad campaign concepts and such.


Within an onion is a class of molecules called "amino acid sulfoxides", the compound which gives onions, garlic, leeks, and chives their distinctive flavors. When you cut an onion, it releases an enzyme which converts the amino acid sulfoxides into sulfenic acids which then hit the air and rearrange themselves into "syn-propanethial-S-oxide", a chemical which triggers tear reaction. This also creates the specific smell, but the smell and the tearing are not related.

Most folks I know like pickles, I know I do. I hardly ever see folks flinging those briny fruits out their windows. I bet the percentage that dislike pickles or tomatoes on their burgers is less than 15% nationally, otherwise it wouldn't be financially-reasonable to continue including them automatically.

Whomever is sending this Anthrax is an evil son of a warthog, I would definitely not be surprised if it was some nutjob American terrorist trying to cash in on the terror.

I remember those juices in the plastic fruits, though I rarely had them myself. I thought they were just sugar water.


You put your lips on the OUTSIDE of a straw, so obviously you want that part clean. Also, the outside of the straw is plunged into your drink, so whatever is on the outside of your straw would also get into your drink and you'd end up drinking it anyway, thus, the outside is wrapped.

Fat free foods often have a stigma which our society reads as "tastes bad", not necessarily because it tastes bad, but because people keep telling us it will (and certainly, this helps full-fat companies). Those fat-free foods that do taste bad often do because they use chemicals and other poorly-chosen ingredients to replace the fatty ones. However, if you've ever had a piece of Entenmann's fat-free chocolate loaf, there'd be no comments about bad flavor. However, just because it's non-fat or very low fat, that doesn't mean it's good for you, there's the calorie issue, cholesterol, carbohydrates, etc..

The current set rules of FTL travel say no, you wouldn't see any light, however those rules are being competently challenged nearly every day, so there's no real accurate answer, especially if you don't take into account the various hypothetical methods of faster-than-light travel you'd be using.


Who finds pantyhose attractive? A better question would be, "WHY?!?"

bigbarada
10-17-2001, 09:30 AM
Why is Grape-Nuts called Grape-Nuts, when there are no grapes or nuts in the ingredients?

Was the first person who thought of drinking cow's milk considered a pervert?

Why do foods that are bad for you taste oh so good?

Fulit
10-17-2001, 10:13 AM
Here's an enigma, for me anyway. When I am trying to quote a single sentence or paragraph from another person's post, why does it quote the entire freaking post in the reply? Then I have to go in and take out what I don't want.

Jargo
10-17-2001, 11:06 AM
Who finds pantyhose attractive? A better question would be, "WHY?!?"

Me, I do. And it's the smell. make of that what you will..... no actually I'm jesting. pantyhose are disgusting. I've lost count of the times I've heard women complaining about how much the sweat in them.... I'm not going there :)

I like the pickles too. I usually end with everyone elses as well. I'd say out of the people I know only one other person actually eats the pickle. If this is representative of the populace of the UK then the percentage of non pickle eaters is roughly 70%. So there really isn't that many pickle eaters. But it's just a garnish anyway isn't it? Isn't it?

Emperor Howdy
10-17-2001, 11:07 AM
JT said "chocolate loaf"...huh-huh...huh-huh...huh-huh...huh-huh...huh-huh...huh-huh..yeah..yeah...Butthead..."chocolate loaf".....hehehehehehehe.....

Lobito
10-17-2001, 12:32 PM
Hmmm...as far as i know he is 100% mexican, but i'm not sure. I bet all that info should be somewhere in the Nasa web page.

Here are some more questions...

Whats the biggest City in the world???

Whats the most spoken language in the world???

Finally...is Taco Bell mexican???

:)

Jargo
10-17-2001, 01:50 PM
Whats the most spoken language in the world???

That would have to be bull****. :)

JediCole
10-17-2001, 05:13 PM
It has been a long time since I've heard anything about the most spoken language in the world. If I am not mistaken, and not to seem pompous, it is English. English has almost compltely (if not completely) supplanted Latin as the official "Language of Science". Also, English is the exclusive "international" language spoken in every airport control tower world-wide. The tricky thing about gauging the "most spoken language" is that for many, English is a second language (be it for business, political, scientific, or other purposes) which they speak in addition to their "native" language. There may be other languages spoken by more individuals but in the end, English would have to take a close second. I have not had a chance to research this. English has the flexibility of being a hybrid language and that is its strength in the forums of science and world commerce. Unlike French (I have heard reports of France seeking to purge all non-French origin words from the nationally spoken language) and many of the other older European languages which are self-limiting (have you seen how some German words are just strings of smaller words to create a new one?), English is constantly changing, adapting, and adding new words or further meanings for existing words (like "net" or "mouse"). Someone more learned in the dispersment of linguistics will almost certainly chime in and correct my assumptions, however.

And now the pressing questions:

Why are foods that are good for you so much more expensive than those that are bad for you?

Why does science hold so staunchly to its various theorums and "laws" when history teaches us that scientific doctrine is constantly proved wrong (there was a time when the atmosphere, according to the most esteemed scientific minds of the day, was composed of tiny glass spheres)?

Since Hasbro has to produce at least as many of any given figure as any other to make any of them economically feasable (by volume), why do we inevitably get short-packed figures that no one can ever find while dozens of others flood (and warm) the pegs (R2-Q5, Pit Droids, Admiral Motti, Sio Bibble, the list goes on and on...)? (This is a Star Wars toy site after all!)

Lobito
10-17-2001, 05:27 PM
Believe it or not...the most spoken language in the world is chinese!!:D

master jedi
10-17-2001, 07:53 PM
When I go to a Chinese restaurant down in the Ozarks I always think 'Is this cat, dog, squirrel, or a combination of all three?'

Emperor Howdy
10-17-2001, 08:05 PM
How does one prove...I mean REALLY prove that cows f*rting destroys the ozone layer...methane or not?

Since God forgives all sins, couldn't one technically sell his soul for fame and fortune, then ask for forgiveness at the last minute?

Why are g*ys in the military such a big deal? If the guy can shoot...who cares?

Why does everyone say Carrie Fisher looked like a strung-out crack-** in ROTJ? I thought and still think it's the best she's looked in any of her movies!

Lobito
10-17-2001, 08:18 PM
I also liked Carrie Fisher in all her SW movies...but after that...

bigbarada
10-17-2001, 08:19 PM
Actually the "don't ask, don't tell" policy provided a substantial loophole for homosexuals to stay in the military. Open homosexuals are still not allowed in the military, however people with homosexual tendencies are allowed. As long as you don't admit to it or aren't caught in the act then you can be as g-a-y as you want to be.

JediCole
10-18-2001, 09:52 AM
I have to concur that Carrie Fisher never looked better than she did in Jedi. I can't understand (except by chronology) why anyone thought she was strung out in that film (Jedi).

El Chuxter
10-18-2001, 12:32 PM
Why did Lucas use tape to, um, make Carrie Fisher more androgynous in ANH, but has her in a metal bikini in ROTJ. Does this mean Natalie Portman will be in a bikini in E3? Or will we be really lucky and see Jira in a metal bikini?

D'oh now appears in the Oxford English Dictionary.

El Chuxter
10-18-2001, 12:42 PM
Originally posted by JediTricks
What makes Henry Rollins so angry?

I've wondered about this myself, so I got Mr Rollins' e-mail address from a mutual friend and posed the question. This is (part of) the response I got from Ol' Boltneck:


I AM NOT ANGRY, PUNY WORM! ANGER IS A BASE EMOTION, FAR BELOW ONE SUCH AS MYSELF. I AM ENRAGED. RAGE IS REAL, RAGE IS FUEL FOR AGGRESSION. RAGE IS NECESSARY TO ELIMINATE THE SNIVELLING WRETCHES THAT ARE THE MASSES OF SLIME THAT CALL THEMSELVES THE HUMAN RACE. HUMANITY IS A DISEASE WHICH MUCH BE ERADICATED AND ASSIMILATED SO THAT ROLLINS SHALL BE THE ULTIMATE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE. . . . WASTE NOT MY TIME WITH SUCH RIDICULOUS QUANDRIES, MORTAL GNAT, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO KNOCK YOU INTO THE NEXT POST.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE, EL CHUXTER--POSSIBLY YOUR LAST CHANCE TO LEAVE EMOTIONS BEHIND. SHAVE YOUR HEAD, PAINT YOURSELF RED, AND WEAR ONLY YOUR SHORTS. BE LIKE HANDSOME HANK ROLLINS: A LIAR, A LIAR.

That guy scares me sometimes!

Fulit
10-18-2001, 01:10 PM
Originally posted by El Chuxter

D'oh now appears in the Oxford English Dictionary.

What's the definition?

master jedi
10-18-2001, 04:41 PM
Originally posted by Fulit


What's the definition?

It's umm...a prefix. Yeah a prefix. Like in D'ohnut or D'ohn't go there.

Jargo
10-18-2001, 08:58 PM
Why are birds so damn noisy? For such little creatures they don't half make a hell of a racket. And what do they chirp aboyut so much? Wind speed velocity? flight paths? This human soap opera we all live below them? Birds are just nuts.

JediTricks
10-19-2001, 01:45 AM
"And what's the deal with Grape Nuts?!? No grapes, no nuts!"

"I think it's just an expression."

"Oh!"

Grape-Nuts cereal was introduced in 1897 by Post, it was one of the first ready-to-eat cold cereals ever. It was named grape-nuts because the inventor, C.W. Post, made his cereal from wheat and barley, and added maltose as a sweetener. Post thought that maltose was "grape sugar", and the cereal's taste and texture reminded him a bit of nuts, hence he named his product "grape-nuts". In other words, because the inventor was an ignoramus. ;)


Animal milk has long been a source of natural food, the idea of milking other animals for their milk has been around probably as long as man has been able to hide in shelters and paint on walls.


Foods that are bad for you often taste good because our society puts a heavy opinion on the flavors of fats, salt, and sugars; in fact, the American public is nearly addicted to fat.


When you click the "quote" button, it takes the whole text from the post where the button is, how else would it work?


Bombay, India is the world's most-populous city, with around 12 million people living there. New York city is the 10th most-populous in the world with 8 million, it is the most populous in the US. Neither figure includes surrounding areas, if you did, Tokyo would be the largest in size, with 28 million people, New York City would be #2 with 20 mil, and LA would be #5 with 16 mil and the only other US city on the top 10 list - though only 3 mil live in the actual city.


Chinese is indeed the most-spoken language in the world by a HUGE margin, nearly 3 times as many people speak Chinese as the next-highest on the list, Spanish. This is only about 10 million more than English, the third on the most-spoken list.


Taco Bell has its home base right here in California, San Bernadino to be precise. The founder, Glen Bell, first started with a hot dog stand and later sold that to move into bigger menus. Just as he was starting the big move, another San Bernadino company was starting up, run by the McDonald brothers, sound familiar? Yes, McDonald's was just starting up, so Bell chose to go with menu items that wouldn't get stuck in competition with the burger guys. He wasn't totally sure what he was going to do, but he liked mexican food... but not the wait thanks to the original method of cooking (it took a long time thanks to a more careful style of creation where the WHOLE taco was first stuffed, THEN fried), so he did lots of research on what could be done about this and eventually created the fried taco shell, with the idea being you didn't have to carefully fry a whole taco, insides and everything. From there, he began Taco Bell - basically, he invented a new style of selling tacos AND of marketing pre-fried taco shells.


Foods that are good for you are more expensive for 2 reasons:
A) because our society doesn't want to eat food that's good for them, the ingredients aren't made in numbers anywhere near as high as the normal "bad for you" ingredients, so it costs more to get the ingredients;
B) many foodmaker corporations make the bulk of their income from the "bad for you" foods, which they work very hard to convince you are better than the "good for you" kind. Basically, these big corporations do a lot of psychological manipulation on the population to sell their products and to convince you to not buy the other products, even beyond traditional advertising, and part of this is knowing that if the "good for you" kind of food were as cheap as their products, they might lose their market, so they make sure that the enemy stays expensive through various market manipulations.


The idea of "theory vs. hypothesis" is that a theory is known to have proven truths within the field, however no theory is a "100% proven fact"... on paper. Unfortunately, it's when man confuses ego with science that people adopt theories so stringently that they're unwilling or unable to accept that the theory may not be 100% true.


Hasbro does not have set limits on how many of any one figure they make, but they have ideas based on what the buying public has wanted in the past and other marketing research notes, so when they've begun production on a figure they think won't sell well initially, but they feel has enough marketing potential to be purchased, they release the figure in smaller numbers. Unfortunately, they are not particularly good at predicting trends and they don't get good, quick data back on specific sales. Without the good, quick data, they have to make MORE and MORE assumptions since it takes over a month just to get a product onto shelves, turnaround time is their biggest enemy and they don't have many weapons to fight that war.


There has been extensive testing on atmospheric disturbances created by certain gasses. Ozone is created by UV rays reacting to oxygen, and the ozone forms an atmospheric layer which blocks out much of the sun's radiation. However, certain types of gasses destroy ozone and other types block UV rays, methane falls into the category of the latter.


Discussions of religion are best left to one's own self, your relationship with whatever higher power you believe in should be a personal one. Different religions believe different things about the way their god or gods accept sins and forgiveness, but ultimately, only you can decide how to interpret this (or how to let others interpret it for you).


Homosexual men pose a threat to the emotional security of heterosexual males. Homosexuals aren't the problem, though most men in charge might say they are the threat, the threat is actually the inability of heterosexual men to remove their fear of sexual assault by homosexual soldiers and the chain of command which refuses to address the sexuality issues of military life. In a perfect army, sexuality would never enter the barracks and men and women could fight as one force, no matter what sexual orientation is involved. However, since the military is currently forced to gather members from our imperfect society which cannot turn off their sexual impulses when they become soldiers, the limitations of insecurities is the real barrier.


Carrie Fisher had bags under her eyes, looked emotionally and physicially exhausted, and admitted to doing a lot of pills and drinking all the time during the making of ROTJ. Some folks can see that in the way she looks. Basically, the answer is "why does Carrie look like she's doped up? Because she was."


The metal bikini provided support with bouncing, while the white ANH outfit had no support and Carrie didn't wear a bra.


I've never seen Henry Rollins talk like that. He's always trying to be in touch with his emotions, look at his spoken word stuff.


Birds are noisy because they hate us... or maybe it's because they're trying to attract a mate or declare their territory.

Jargo
10-19-2001, 08:32 AM
Bird question number two: How do they know which foods to eat to create the super acids in their droppings that will specifically corrode the paint on cars? Do they have aresearch institute for that sort of thing?

oh yeah, and I'd go with the "they hate us" theory ;)

Bel-Cam Jos
10-20-2001, 03:33 PM
If Jedi Tricks and GNT had a brother or son, would he type normal-sized posts? Geez! JT writes encyclopediae, and GNT has copyrighted "LOL" as a response! ;)

I remember an old "Far Side" cartoon, saying what all animals who make sounds are saying: "Hey! Hey!" I also remember a FS that had "The They" everyone talks about as 5 people jammed in a broom closet.

Why do birds, suddenly appear...?

GNT
10-20-2001, 09:38 PM
Originally posted by Bel-Cam Jos
If Jedi Tricks and GNT had a brother or son, would he type normal-sized posts? Geez! JT writes encyclopediae, and GNT has copyrighted "LOL" as a response! ;)

That would be interesting to see,hopyfully! :)

Emperor Howdy
10-21-2001, 12:09 AM
Yeah, seeing you two trying to have a son WOULD be pretty interesting, huh? :D (drum roll.....CRASH!....seriously folks, I'll be here all week...........fleep-fleep...fleep-fleep....fleep-fleep...fleep-fleep......)

Bel-Cam Jos
10-21-2001, 06:59 PM
You know, right after I hit "Submit Reply," I just knew my post would degenerate into this! :D Talk about weird thoughts...

Emperor Howdy
10-21-2001, 07:14 PM
Not that Charles Manson isn't completely insane...we are definately better off with out him.....BUT.....what exactly did he do? He brainwashed people into committing murder. Aren't the weak-minded followers really more to blame? I mean....who's worse: Bin Laden or the plane's pilots? Hitler or the Nazis who butchered Jews? Martha Stewart are the people who actually make their own table place mats?

JediTricks
10-22-2001, 01:25 AM
When you mastermind brutal murders, you're pretty much going to share in the blame. Manson didn't stand idly by while Sharon Tate and the others were killed, he orchestrated those murders. If you think up a crime and convince others to commit the crime, you're just as guilty as those who did the crimes, sometimes even more so than those who committed the acts.

Eternal Padawan
10-22-2001, 02:53 PM
How does the Emperor inspire fear and respect from his troops when he's wearing a ratty old bathrobe?

How does George inspire fear and respect from his troops when he wears flannel?

How does Francis Ford Coppola inspire fear and respect from his troops when A. he produces movies like Jeepers Creepers?
B. his first name is Francis?
C. he directs movies like Jack?
D. he puts his family members in his film?
E. his own nephew changes his name from Coppola to that of a funky black superhero from the 70's?

master jedi
10-22-2001, 07:29 PM
Why am I naked and at the dentist?

Wooooof
10-22-2001, 07:33 PM
Why did one of my friends make fun of me and call me a geek for wanting to dress as a Jedi for the Ep1 premiere, then brag about how he loves to go in drag when he watches "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"?

Maybe I need new friends....

master jedi
10-23-2001, 09:16 PM
If I had a penny for every time somebody gave me the finger I'd be rich. Richer than astronauts(sp?).

El Chuxter
10-24-2001, 09:59 AM
Originally posted by Bel-Cam Jos
Why do birds, suddenly appear...?

Curse you, BCJ3! You beat me to it. I've been thinking since the last time I checked this thread how cool it would be to post that. :p

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Huh, JT? :D

master jedi
10-24-2001, 12:38 PM
Originally posted by El Chuxter
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Huh, JT? :D

A woodchuck would chuck all the wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.:D

Lobito
10-24-2001, 01:18 PM
Talking about birds reminded me of this question...

In a baseball game (1 yr. ago i think) Randy Johnson bullseyed a bird while he was pitching...we already know the sorry fate of the poor bird, but what was the umpire's call??? Ball or strike...or neither????

JediTricks
10-25-2001, 08:30 AM
Woodchucks cannot chuck wood because they are large, flabby rodents more commonly known as "groundhogs" who do not have the type of muscle structure to quickly throw pieces of wood. If somehow you could teach a groundhog to chuck wood, it would only be a very short distance, require much of the grass-eater's strength, and be the slowest chuck you ever saw. So, if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he couldn't chuck much, and what he could chuck would be very small.

Jargo
10-25-2001, 12:33 PM
Woodchuck? They those little fat goofy things? Roadkill, that's all they're good for. :)

Is there a book somewhere that prophesises Nostradus existing and writing a book of prophesies? That'd be like an infinity mirror or a moebius loop. Bizzare and cool and spooky all at the same time.

If there's a man in the moon, where's his body? Just looks like a decapitated fat man to me. Strange thing to use to get the kids to go to sleep "It's okay honey, the decapitated fat man in the moon will keep watch over you. You're perfectly safe. No need to worry about ghosties or ghoulies or monsters cuz the head in the sky is watching you unblinkingly...." :eek:

El Chuxter
10-25-2001, 05:00 PM
Sigh. Woodchucks get no respect, no respect at all, I tell ya! :rolleyes:

Here's a conundrum for you. On the TV series, Quantum Leap, assume that Sam Beckett leaps into his partner Al for one episode. Here's the catch--Sam has leapt into Al while Al is helping him on a leap that he, as Sam, hasn't been on yet! (It never specifically states that Al and Sam go on these missions in the same chronological order.) Who would play whom? And what about the mirror images? It will make your head explode to think about it. :confused:

And on that topic, does anyone else expect Al to walk through a glowing door, accompanied by cheesy sound effects, on Enterprise? :D

Bel-Cam Jos
10-25-2001, 07:30 PM
On that note (sorta), why does Paul Simon sing a song "Call Me Al" when that's not his name? And why does Johnny hate jazz, or has Frankie never gone to Hollywood?

"... laaaah, lah lah lahlah, close to you..." :D

Dferguson
10-25-2001, 09:26 PM
:D here are a few i heard on

why do we park our cars in driveways
and drive in parkways?

master jedi
10-26-2001, 03:43 PM
Why is my bowl of chili talking to me

El Chuxter
10-26-2001, 03:53 PM
Here's one a friend of mine actually wrote on a comment card at a Chi-Chi's restaurant in Pennsylvania:

I am sitting here in a bowl of guacamole wondering why, why am I naked? And I realize--I am naked because that is the way I was born, and today is my birthday.

master jedi
10-26-2001, 08:06 PM
New Coke? Everybody knows it's not as good as Crystal Pepsi or Lemon Pepsi.

Eternal Padawan
10-29-2001, 05:09 PM
What's up with the rule of occasional viewing? If you don't watch a show every week, but only catch the occasional episode, it's the same friggin' episode you watched the last time you occasionally caught it. I have seen the same episode of X-Men Evolution 4 out of the 5 times I've watched it.

Why are pringles cans just small enough for you to NOT reach the bottom of the can to get the last few chips? Just make the darn can a little bigger...

master jedi
10-29-2001, 06:55 PM
What if fruit had legs?
What if the toilet could talk?
And what if I had one million dollars?

Fulit
10-29-2001, 08:25 PM
Originally posted by master jedi
What if fruit had legs?
What if the toilet could talk?
And what if I had one million dollars?

It would be more fun to eat, because we could chase it.

I'd feel bad about using it for what it was invented for.

Um, you would like, spend it or something.


Hey, wait, toilets do talk. They have them in Japan, I saw it on the Simpsons. It said "I will be happy to accept your waste". I'd still feel bad.

master jedi
10-29-2001, 10:17 PM
Originally posted by Fulit
Um, you would like, spend it or something.


Yes. But on what?

Fulit
10-30-2001, 10:32 AM
Originally posted by master jedi


Yes. But on what?

You mean you don't know?

JediCole
10-30-2001, 01:18 PM
This occured to me just last night...

Why do some things burn up while other things burn down?

JediCole
10-30-2001, 01:21 PM
Originally posted by Eternal Padawan
Why are pringles cans just small enough for you to NOT reach the bottom of the can to get the last few chips? Just make the darn can a little bigger...

"Somtimes you just have to let the hard-to-reach chips go." - Dante Hicks, Clerks

I agree with you about the rule of ocassional viewing, though I have never watched X-Men Evolution, I have experienced the same phenomenon with other shows.

Jargo
10-30-2001, 02:10 PM
I get that with star trek TNG. Every time I settle down to watch it's the same episode with the extremely annoying 'Q' the one with the trial of the captain and tasha gets iced. Just plain bad in my opinion. Either that or the episode of the Simpsons where they get lost in the wilderness. but at least the simpsons is fun :D

master jedi
10-30-2001, 06:35 PM
Originally posted by Fulit


You mean you don't know?

Well, after I bought all the star wars stuff and pay hasbro not to make any more resculpts I wouldn't know what to do next.

buba-fatt
10-30-2001, 08:46 PM
why, here in Texas, does a restaurant make a "Texas burger" with mustard, but a regular burger(still in Texas)has mayonaise?
Why do they send traffic flaggers to school to learn how to properly signal the general public when the flaggers themselves are part of the general public?
At what point does someone decide that God didnt put enough holes in their head so they pierce their eyebrows, nose, etc.?
Why is the most intelligent creature on this planet the most self destructive?
How come the Democrats are for the enviroment but they brought the lottery to Texas and most loosing lottery tickets are discarded on the ground?
Why do bass like spinnerbaits? They dont look like anything natural.
Why doesn't everyone be an independent thinker like me?
Does stormtrooper armor provide any use other than desguising Han and Luke so they could roam freely about the deathstar?
Why is the lowsiest music played the loudest?
Why, in a Spanish newscast, is there a pause before and after the only words that you recognize?
Why did they make "Battlefield Earth"?

Emperor Howdy
10-31-2001, 12:05 AM
Don't you hate those weird acid burps that burn your throat and taste like crap?

Why do cats pee in houseplants?

Even nothingness has a sound. Plug your ears.....you hear that nothing sound? Like a low pitch rumbling and ringing with your heartbeat? Do deaf people hear that?

Why has Dick Clark started a show with three other men similar to Barbara Walter's The View? It's Dick Clark, a doctor, Danny Bonapartridge, and I think that guy from Saved By the Bell. What idiot thought THAT was a good idea? I love watching dumb shows fail.

JediCole
10-31-2001, 09:39 AM
Okay, there is a restraunt that serves burgers, nachos, BBQ, baked chicken, ribs, etc. near my work. On their menu, the "chopped BBQ" sandwich costs less than the grilled cheese sandwich, a less substantial meal. This begs the question, why is fake cheese more expensive than fake meat?

master jedi
10-31-2001, 12:27 PM
Why does the TPM video game suck? Oh yeah. Now I remember.

Eternal Padawan
04-20-2002, 09:05 AM
Why did it take them so long to make hot dogs and buns the same length? Or put the same amount in the packages for both?

Why are nicotine and alcohol legal drugs, but marijuana and others aren't? Nicotine and alcohol kill more people every year...

What's up with Kevin Costner? His career just took a nose dive....

187-Maul
04-20-2002, 09:09 AM
alcohol lills more people cause it's legal and more people "use" it
if marihuana would be legal, that would kill more people

Jargo
04-20-2002, 10:42 AM
I don't ever remember anyone dying from marijuana use. It's the use of it in conjunction with a major carcinogen like tobacco that kills.

why is why 'WHY'? who came up with that? And why not 'Y' instead?

What happened in evolution to the anteaters. My house is full of the darned pesky little six legged antennae waving nuclear holocaust surviving bugs but yet there are no anteaters anywhere in this country roaming free and eating ants. What's with that?

Why is it okay to talk about poopy here and all manner of other gross stuff but not okay to talk about accidentaly killing a neighbours kitten (stuck down a drain) with your poopy? What's with that?

JetsAndHeels
04-20-2002, 05:32 PM
Why do you drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?

Why do drive thru ATM's have brail on them?

Why wont MTV make anymore new episodes of Jackass?

Why, why, why?

SWAFMAN
04-20-2002, 05:41 PM
hey Jargo, did the cops or the BBC come to question you yet? ;)

JetsAndHeels
04-20-2002, 05:58 PM
HAHA!!
Lets not get started on that again...

Jargo
04-20-2002, 06:48 PM
Um - not yet... *looks over shoulder furtively* :D

Thanks for the jpeg SWAFMAN, I set it as my desktop wallpaper. I haven't stopped chuckling yet. :happy:

Jason B
04-20-2002, 09:09 PM
How many people get injured from drinking out of soda cans each year?

( i dont know, i just thought that was hilariously funny, i probably ought to go to bed now. :D)

JEDIpartner
05-23-2002, 03:40 PM
Did you ever notice that BIN LADEN is spelled similarly to BED LINEN (which is practically what he appears to wear at times) and BIN LINER (which is what he should be wrapped up in and then tossed onto the heap to rot with the rest of the garbage).

Just an observation...

:crazed:

Jonna
05-23-2002, 03:46 PM
And did it ever strike you as odd that one parks in a driveway and drives on the parkway!?!

Jargo
05-23-2002, 04:05 PM
What's a parkway? We drive on roads, streets, avenues, boulevards, bypasses, dual carriageways and motorways. There may be more but I don't drive so don't pay attention other than to know we don't have parkways over here. Explain please. :)

QLD
05-23-2002, 04:27 PM
how come they call it taking a dump, when you aren't actually taking it anywhere, you are leaving it.

Jonna
05-23-2002, 04:29 PM
Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO
What's a parkway? We drive on roads, streets, avenues, boulevards, bypasses, dual carriageways and motorways. There may be more but I don't drive so don't pay attention other than to know we don't have parkways over here. Explain please. :)

A parkway is a toll road. In NJ we have the Garden State Parkway which stretches from the northern point to the southern point close to the shore line.:D

DeadEye
05-23-2002, 05:14 PM
LOL, good one quitelong!

Also, they say, "Pick up your room"--but I doubt anyone could actually lift a room. :D

bigbarada
05-23-2002, 05:54 PM
How do you 'answer the door,' when the door never said anything?:)

What color is a red ball in an unlit room? No color, because color can't exist without light.

Do you hear what I'm saying? If so then have your ears checked, cuz no one's said a word. ;)

stormie
05-23-2002, 06:01 PM
...and, you can pick your friends.
You can can pick your nose.
But, you can't pick your friend's nose. :D ;)

browndroid
05-23-2002, 06:35 PM
if a tree falls in the woods, and no ones around, does it make a sound? one of the great questions of this generation:p

Dryanta
05-23-2002, 07:10 PM
Yep.Sure have seen alot of odd things.A large number of which have been right here in these forums ;)

SWAFMAN
05-23-2002, 08:27 PM
I know I've said this before, but....

Did you ever notice how, even though Vampires don't cast a reflection in a mirror, they always seem to have perfectly-coiffed hair?

What's up with that?

JetsAndHeels
05-23-2002, 08:50 PM
Howcome Tupac Shakur keeps coming out with new albums?
Why do drive thru ATM's have brail on them?
You dont actually buy food and drink, you rent it.

Kuzu
05-23-2002, 09:41 PM
why do teachers get payed when we do all the work?

Lowly Bantha Cleaner
05-23-2002, 10:22 PM
Confucius say . . .


If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent

If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2

What are Preparation A through Preparation G?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

(stolen from lotsofjokes.com)

Fulit
05-24-2002, 12:46 AM
Originally posted by Dryanta
Yep.Sure have seen alot of odd things.A large number of which have been right here in these forums ;)

I hear that. Especially about a certain Beavis quote. One which I remember saying in these very forums not more than say, 6-8 months ago. One which a certain Jedi Tricks responded to (sorry to bring you into this, JT) with an explanation of how Beavis was paraphrasing the old guy from 60 minutes (Andy...something.....) Ahh...I digress, yep there's a lot of weird things about lately........
...

QLD
05-24-2002, 01:04 AM
Fire! Fire! Fire!

It was during the Funk Dat! video I do remember. The song would say a bunch of stuff like that, then they would say Funk Dat!

Huh huh huh.....cool

JediTricks
05-24-2002, 04:09 AM
Yup, that was indeed B&B watching and commenting on the "Funk Dat" video - that's a scary memory you've got there QLD.

The old guy was Andy Rooney of 60 Minutes and Beavis' imitation of him was hilarious.

The #2 pencil is the 2nd softest pencil lead, as I understand it. #3 is harder and #1 is softer.

All arrestees have the RIGHT to remain silent and are legally supposed to be told so. It doesn't matter if the person is a mute, the concept is that every person legally arrested has the right to know that their communications in custody can be used against them legally and that they do NOT have to communicate.

I would not be surprised if the "H" in Preparation H stood for "Hemorrhoid" rather than the 8th preparation in the series.

---

If the video game console companies want better game sales, why don't they lower the initial prices of games?

Eternal Padawan
05-24-2002, 09:05 AM
What ever happened to the Wierd Thoughts thread?

Dryanta
05-24-2002, 09:27 AM
Have you ever noticed. A girl that looks good from far, up close, looks far from good?

Jonna
05-24-2002, 09:35 AM
Originally posted by SWAFMAN
I know I've said this before, but....

Did you ever notice how, even though Vampires don't cast a reflection in a mirror, they always seem to have perfectly-coiffed hair?

What's up with that?

An even better question is: If Vampires do not cast a reflection, how can it be that in all of the movies their clothing does not cast a reflection either? Is the clothing saturated with vampiricness or something?:crazed: :crazed: :crazed:

Jonna
05-24-2002, 09:51 AM
Originally posted by browndroid
if a tree falls in the woods, and no ones around, does it make a sound? one of the great questions of this generation:p

It all depends on how you define sound. If sound is simply a wave through a medium (such as a non-vacuum state) then Yes. However if you consider sound as something which must be interperated through a translator (such as an ear) then No.

Personally, I believe it is egotistical to think that sound only exists if there is someone there. Does it make sense that it never rains when there is no one to see it?

Considering that on a quantum level everything is connected anyway, the question can be seen as irrelivant because everything is one to begin with and hence there is no seperation of subject and object. It is merely the illusion that we believe is reality.

Alright, It's shut up already.....I hope this answered your question in some way.:D

JediTricks
05-24-2002, 05:45 PM
EP, good question, I'd merge it if I could find it. :D

Vampires have human familiars that probably do their dressing and coifing for them. And nobody is gonna risk a vampire being told "You're ugly and your human dresses you funny!". ;)

Jonna, great answer about that "tree falls in the woods" koan. I couldn't agree more about the egotism of expecting sound to not exist unless it's heard.

InsaneJediGirl
05-24-2002, 07:09 PM
Why doesnt anyone figure out Superman is Clark?All he does is throw on a pair of glasses and a suit.:rolleyes:

RooJay
05-24-2002, 07:28 PM
Why do we call them AUTOmobiles when there are no MANUmobiles? Shouldn't they just be called MOBILES?

RooJay
05-24-2002, 07:34 PM
Originally posted by JediTricks
Yup, that was indeed B&B watching and commenting on the "Funk Dat" video - that's a scary memory you've got there QLD.

The old guy was Andy Rooney of 60 Minutes and Beavis' imitation of him was hilarious.

The #2 pencil is the 2nd softest pencil lead, as I understand it. #3 is harder and #1 is softer.

All arrestees have the RIGHT to remain silent and are legally supposed to be told so. It doesn't matter if the person is a mute, the concept is that every person legally arrested has the right to know that their communications in custody can be used against them legally and that they do NOT have to communicate.

I would not be surprised if the "H" in Preparation H stood for "Hemorrhoid" rather than the 8th preparation in the series.

---

If the video game console companies want better game sales, why don't they lower the initial prices of games?

I think those were meant as a joke. I thought they were pretty funny.

bigbarada
05-24-2002, 09:25 PM
Originally posted by Jonna


Considering that on a quantum level everything is connected anyway, the question can be seen as irrelivant because everything is one to begin with and hence there is no seperation of subject and object. It is merely the illusion that we believe is reality.


Sounds like someone has been listening to too many Tool song lyrics.:p

JetsAndHeels
05-24-2002, 09:40 PM
There's nothing wrong with Tool!! They rock!!

bigbarada
05-24-2002, 11:17 PM
I like Tool, especially their Aenima (sp?) album. Their newer one with the "I know the pieces fit, cuz I watched it tumble over" song was really good too. Too bad it got broken when I moved.:(

One of their songs had a quote from a comedian who died in 1994 (agh! his name is right on the tip of my tongue! I hate that!) that said something like: "Today young kids on acid are realizing that all matter is only energy in a slow state of vibration...." which reminded me of what Jonna posted. So I figured I would make a funny. My bad.;)

EDIT: Just remembered Lateralus is the name of their new album and Bill Hicks is the name of the comedian.:stupid:

Eternal Padawan
05-25-2002, 08:29 AM
Originally posted by RooJay
Why do we call them AUTOmobiles when there are no MANUmobiles? Shouldn't they just be called MOBILES?

Automobile means "to propel by itself" as opposed to being drawn by a horse which is what transportation was before autos came along. It had nothing to do with the transmission which came much later. --EP (clone of the all-knowing JT)

QLD
05-25-2002, 12:37 PM
Speaking of Beavis and Butthead.......

You know what I really loved?

I don't remember the song, but it was some crazy sounding Japanese pop song.....

And Beavis said the one guy looked like Ernie from My Three Sons....

And then Butthead started doing his impression of Ernie....

And Beavis started doing Uncle Charlie....

It was really funny.........

But I think you have to be there.

You know, I really miss that show.

They should start playing that again, so that I am not stuck watching Real World 58 in Compton. I mean, after like 20 of these things, how much more "real" can they get.....

but I digress......

QLD
05-25-2002, 12:37 PM
Oh....and JT, my scary memory only works for useless knowledge. Just ask any of my former college professors. :D

JediTricks
05-25-2002, 03:25 PM
Useless knowledge... is there any other kind, really? ... wait, yes there is! ;)

BTW, thanks ever so much for getting that hyperactive tune stuck in my head QLD, I may not know that song's name, but I know exactly how it sounds. I hope I have it on tape somewhere or I'll go mad and rip EP's cyber-head off for calling me all-knowing. :crazed:

QLD
05-25-2002, 03:44 PM
Cyber decapitations.....what's next?

RooJay
05-25-2002, 03:51 PM
Originally posted by Eternal Padawan


Automobile means "to propel by itself" as opposed to being drawn by a horse which is what transportation was before autos came along. It had nothing to do with the transmission which came much later. --EP (clone of the all-knowing JT)

NO! REALLY?!

So humor is not allowed in this thread?

Everybody check your sense of humor at the door!

Eternal Padawan
05-26-2002, 07:52 AM
Aha! Found it!

JediTricks
05-26-2002, 04:45 PM
Hey, if you ask the questions, you risk getting answers.

bigbarada
05-26-2002, 07:31 PM
You got answers, I got questions!

Why take a pill for heartburn if it's side effects are diarrhea, nausea and abdominal pain?

Or why take one for allergies when it's side effects are headaches and flu symptoms?

JediTricks
05-26-2002, 10:17 PM
Probably because pharmaceutical companies have too much power and influence.

Jonna
05-28-2002, 12:18 PM
Originally posted by bigbarada
I like Tool, especially their Aenima (sp?) album. Their newer one with the "I know the pieces fit, cuz I watched it tumble over" song was really good too. Too bad it got broken when I moved.:(

One of their songs had a quote from a comedian who died in 1994 (agh! his name is right on the tip of my tongue! I hate that!) that said something like: "Today young kids on acid are realizing that all matter is only energy in a slow state of vibration...." which reminded me of what Jonna posted. So I figured I would make a funny. My bad.;)

EDIT: Just remembered Lateralus is the name of their new album and Bill Hicks is the name of the comedian.:stupid:

Actually, I really don't care for Tool either way. I did like their early videos though. As for the lyrical similarities, it is not intentional. I read alot of books on quantium physics and Buddhism that's all!:sur:

RooJay
05-28-2002, 05:26 PM
Here's a question:
Why does it seem that some of the "moderators" of these forums are far from moderate and never hesitate to step in and attempt to squash views that they do not agree with personally? I'm all for moderators joining in on a discussion, but aren't moderators traditionally supposed to be impartial to discussion?