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derek
07-25-2002, 10:40 PM
i was just wondering, if i could only take one item to a deserted island, it would be either a gun or a woman. both are very useful. with a gun, i could kill things and eat them, but if i had a woman, i would have a friend and someone to talk to, or actually someone to listen to, since i've heard women like to talk. are there any experts on guns and women in this forum that could help me out? and i need answers quick, because the library is closing soon.

and if someone could tell me the best way to get either a gun or a woman i would appreciate it.

Jonna
07-25-2002, 10:43 PM
Dear Abby,

I like women and like guns. How can I get women to like me when I like to put the two desires together.

Sincerely,
Lonely in Saint louis

wedgeA
07-25-2002, 10:44 PM
derek,

I hope I am not ruffling any feathers here but are you and deadeye either the same person or two people working together? This whole thing seems like an Andy Kaufman stunt, some kind of post-modern dystopian dinner theatre.

derek
07-25-2002, 10:46 PM
i don't have feathers

Beast
07-25-2002, 10:49 PM
Derek, please don't bait the fish. That species is way to easy to catch, and really doesn't taste very good. You would be better off with a nice Klondike Bar. :D

MTFBWY and HH!!

Jar Jar Binks

DeadEye
07-25-2002, 10:50 PM
Thank you so much!!! I love you, derek!!! This is my kind of thread!!! THE SAME THREAD I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR EVER SINCE I JOINED!!!! :D

Guns and women...I'd say take a gun. You will eventually get sick of the woman, and vice versa, and she might not be all that useful (no offense to female forumites:D) depending on the situation.

Assuming you have ample ammunition, a gun would be most useful. The 10mm round is the most versatile all-around bullet in the world today--ceramic Level IV body armor, even capable of stopping rifle rounds almost indefinitely, is useless against 10mm rounds. The 10mm round combines the awesome instant killpower of a good old .45 with the high-velocity armor-piercing abilities of a Magnum round. And the gun you should use, of course, would be the Heckler & Koch submachine gun chambered for 10mm. With a collapsible stock, it can be used in long- and short-range situations, and its ammo can kill basically anything you'd come up against.
Plus, if you're alone long enough, you'll begin to anthropomorphize inanimate objects, like Tom Hanks did to the volleyball in Castaway. The gun would become your best friend. :D

derek
07-25-2002, 10:50 PM
o.k., go a little slower. i need some more info about women before i make a decision. now i do like shooting things, but as much as i talk to my grand daddies gun, it never says anything. i think i would get very lonely if i didn't have a woman to listen to. can you tell me some women and gun stories, then i will be in a better position to make a decision.

LTBasker
07-25-2002, 10:51 PM
Easy: Take both. If you both have equal weapon opportunitys, then theres a chance she could kill you so you wouldn't take up as much of the resources, but if you had the gun, then you could have an advantage. However it may just be easier to get a gun and a volleyball named "Wilson."

DeadEye
07-25-2002, 10:52 PM
Like I said, instead of talking to "Wilson," you could just talk to the gun. :D

Jonna
07-25-2002, 10:52 PM
Anthropomorphize!!! Pretty big word, do you know how to load it?

Beast
07-25-2002, 10:53 PM
Originally posted by DeadEye
Like I said, instead of talking to "Wilson," you could just talk to the gun. :D
This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for shooting, the other's for fun. :crazed: :D

MTFBWY and HH!!

Jar Jar Binks

mylow thehutt
07-25-2002, 10:54 PM
Ok Heres some questions lets say I have a Stacey what bullets would I use,For my second question I know this hot Girl named singal barel shotgun what do you think I should do to make the night perfect.Wait a minute....

derek
07-25-2002, 10:56 PM
thanks for the advice LT, but i think this deadeye fellow knows his stuff. and unfortunately, i can't take both. and jar jar, where can i pick up this "klondike bar"?

DeadEye
07-25-2002, 10:57 PM
Hmm...I think you're a bit confused. For a shotgun I'd recommend 12-gauge shells for most jobs. Use birdshot for small animals, buckshot for big things that need to die :D, and slugs for long-range shots or things hiding behind brick walls that need to die. :D

DarthBrandon
07-25-2002, 10:58 PM
Definition of Anthropomorphize: to attribute human form or personality to things not human.

derek
07-25-2002, 10:59 PM
ok, let's stay on topic. i need some good gun and woman stories so i can make a sound decision.

Jonna
07-25-2002, 10:59 PM
Originally posted by DeadEye
Hmm...I think you're a bit confused. For a shotgun I'd recommend 12-gauge shells for most jobs. Use birdshot for small animals, buckshot for big things that need to die :D, and slugs for long-range shots or things hiding behind brick walls that need to die. :D

That is very, very sad! Does it get you hot to kill living things for no reason?

DarthBrandon
07-25-2002, 11:02 PM
I used to love her, but I had to kill her, she B****ed so much, she drove me nuts, Yatta Yatta, shes buried right in my backyard.

DeadEye
07-25-2002, 11:02 PM
Yeah, if they insult me, mess with me, or remind me of people I don't like! :D
Jonna, lay off the cigarettes...from what you just said to me...are you a democrat? Shouldn't you be out hugging some trees? ;)

vulcantouch
07-25-2002, 11:11 PM
after all, life has too many Real agonizing dichotomies to concoct Made-Up agonizing dichotomies :stupid:
"i always say, ain't nuthin finer than a fiiiine-lookin woman holdin a gun. . . now you just all Kinds of fine ain't you?"
-michael clarke duncan to naked, pistol-packin amanda peet, Whole Nine Yards (tell Him he has to choose) :kiss:
vt

Jonna
07-25-2002, 11:12 PM
You know what? Now I do have a personal problem with you Deadeye! Am I a democrat, you ask? No, I'm just me! Nothing more and nothing less. Why don't you go and kill some defenceless life form and feel better about your own self-worth. I have actually defended you to people saying that you were young and just did not know any better, but screw it all now. Your incompetence shines through better than I can hide. All the best of luck to you.

derek
07-25-2002, 11:13 PM
vulcantouch? what is that, some kind of star trek thing? i heard of that show. so you think a woman holding a gun would be a good combo? deadeye, what do you think about this? is there anyway i could get both to the deserted island? or maybe i could make a gun and take the woman with me?

jonna, i would only kill something if i did decide to take the gun, but if i decided on the woman, i guess the food decisions would be up to her.

2-1B
07-25-2002, 11:21 PM
no gun or woman for me,
I'd take Michael Clarke Duncan! :D

thanks for the idea VT, I love that guy! :happy:

but if Amanda Peet wants to come along, she's welcome too ;)

mylow thehutt
07-25-2002, 11:28 PM
Originally posted by DeadEye
Hmm...I think you're a bit confused. For a shotgun I'd recommend 12-gauge shells for most jobs. Use birdshot for small animals, buckshot for big things that need to die :D, and slugs for long-range shots or things hiding behind brick walls that need to die. :D

No not a shot gun a STACY:rolleyes:LOL

vulcantouch
07-25-2002, 11:34 PM
. . .wrapped in rumor and, with the passage of time, lost even to my steel-trap memory :stupid: does it refer to the knock-out neck-pinch? the mind-meld? the mythical death-grip? the roman god of fire & metalworking? the sulfuric treatment of rubber? any, all or none of the above? even i can't be sure anymore. all i know is, for as long as i can remember it's fit me like a glove (a Rubber glove?? :rolleyes: ), so to speak.

"you think a woman holding a gun would be a good combo?"
-woman gonna be the death of a man one way or another; better quick than slow, i say :dead:

cae: "I'd take Michael Clarke Duncan"
-uh, izzat sposed to be some kinda Green Mile light-socket joke? :o :p :evil:
vt

bigbarada
07-25-2002, 11:44 PM
Well, in Jonna's defense, I don't aspire to any political party (they're both equally corrupt) and I think it is pretty tragic to just go and shoot animals for no reason whatsoever. I never had the heart for hunting or anything like that.

If you just have to shoot something, get some bottles or paper targets. Leave the animals alone.

Anyways, it's pretty clear that you are being baited, DeadEye. Not that you haven't asked for it. In the Army we had ways of dealing with overconfident pricks and if you go into active duty with the attitude you have displayed in these forums, you are going to get skull-drug so quick you won't know what hit you.

I consider you to be a friend and, as a friend, I won't pull any punches. I'll just tell it like it is.

2-1B
07-25-2002, 11:46 PM
VT -

No . . . but since you mentioned it, sure!

Getting shipwrecked can be a dangerous proposition, might as well have a companion capable of healing me! :) Or hypothetically, let's say my circus mouse Mr. Jingles (or my Wilson volleyball for that matter :rolleyes: ) gets squished, John Coffey (like the drink, only not spelt the same ;) ) could help me out.

but if he came as Bear from Armageddon, he may be able to hook me up with Liv Tyler . . . okay, I just made an Armageddon reference - I better stop now. :(

derek
07-25-2002, 11:49 PM
big barada,

what's "skull drug" mean? it dosen't sound fun.

vulcantouch
07-25-2002, 11:51 PM
. . .what i meant was more along the lines of, "don't drop the soap around prison-hardened mcd or maybe you won't Have to choose between gunnin & lovin ;)

2-1B
07-25-2002, 11:54 PM
He picked a fight with a skull drug.
An expecially dangerous skull drug called bigbarada. :(


VT - :eek: ! By "light socket" I thought you were talking about the execution scene . . . . okay, I see. Forget I brought it up! :eek:

:D

bigbarada
07-26-2002, 12:02 AM
Skull-drug (to skull-drag)v. :to mentally and physically wear out a person, usu. through intense physical exertion and lots and lots o' yellin' (see 'to smoke'), to the point that their willpower, self-confidence and overall humanity is rendered completely inert. Leaving them an empty, pliable shell where a human being once stood. (Usually the preparation stages of brainwashing)

SWAFMAN
07-26-2002, 12:08 AM
for those who still don't understand what BB's 'splainin' - watch the 1st hour of Full Metal Jacket.

derek
07-26-2002, 12:09 AM
oh ok, well that sounds bad, but i was thinking of people gettin' drug around by their heels.:)

"i am gunnery sergeant r. lee ermy. i am your senior drill instructor. do you find me attractive? do yo think i'm cute? you are the a-hole in charge of your own destiny. now drop and give me 20!"

QLD
07-26-2002, 12:09 AM
I was thinking of them being drug by their skulls. Either way, sounds none too good.

bigbarada
07-26-2002, 12:16 AM
LOL, well at least somebody learned something from this thread.:)

Thanks for the context, SWAFMAN, I sometimes forget a lot of words I learned in the Army don't have the same meaning out here. So anyone want to learn the meaning of "HOOAH"?

Beast
07-26-2002, 12:21 AM
Thanks for the definition also BigB. I have been wondering for a while. I see that word pop up on occassion and I have always been curious. Just by the time I get around to actually looking it up, I forgot what I was looking for. :)

MTFBWY and HH!!

Jar Jar Binks

Dark Knight
07-26-2002, 01:54 AM
Just for ya'll


(10. You can trade an old .44 for two new .22's.

9. You can have a handgun at home and another for the road.

8. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be
impressed and let you try a few rounds with it.

7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you are out of ammo.

5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.

3. A handgun won't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

2. A handgun does not mind if you go to sleep after you're done
using it.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN:

1. You can buy a silencer for a handgun.,



:D :) :evil: