View Full Version : Our own SW story line by line.
10-11-2002, 09:42 AM
I'll start off, we'll create a unique story by adding a line or so every time we post.
The day had finally come. The dark Sith prophets' prophecy had come true. The one that will be known as "Palpitine" has been born on the planet of Naboo.
10-11-2002, 02:19 PM
Shouldn't this start out this way?
"Long long ago, in a galaxy far far away..."
10-11-2002, 03:17 PM
. . . but unfortunately for the Sith Lords' dreams of conquest, Palpatine had been born to a backwards kaadu farmer who knew nothing of the Sith ways. So when Sith Lord Darth Kik'but showed up on his doorstep, babbling about "at last we will have revenge," old Lanny Palpatine looked him square in the eye and said, "You ain't the Bothan mail-order bride I done'n ordered!"
So Darth Kik'but had no choice but to. . . .
10-11-2002, 03:21 PM
whip out the sling back helled shoes and peroxide blond dolly parton wig. See, I'm the bride you ordered said Sith Lord Darth Kik'but. old Lanny Palpatine eyed him suspiciously for a moment or two and then grinned leeeeeringly at kik'but, " I figure yerl do chickie boy, now where in 'tarnation am I gonna find me a holy man round this'n her place...?" he said as he......
10-11-2002, 05:37 PM
...knocked a clump of Kaadu manure off the side of his left shoe.
"I'll not have you tracking that filth in my house!" roared Darth Kik'but. "The Sith do not tolerate dirty floors! After all, cleanliness is next to pure unbridled evilness, as they say."
"Ah, sorry 'bout that there, ma'am," Farmer Palpatine said, and turned his back to the blonde-wigged Sith Lord. "Got me some Calamari-Kleen in the closet here." He opened a small door and began rummaging around. "Let's see, Sith-B-Gone...wait, what the?..."
He never finished his sentence, for suddenly...
10-11-2002, 08:28 PM
...the Sith-B-Gone BURST open! Suddenly Palpy was attacked my tubing! Various types of tubing... The tubing merged together to form ...THE KING TUBING!!! The King Tubing wielded his ferocious...
10-12-2002, 08:56 AM
.....Synthetic Tentacles and latched on to baby Palpatine. In a frantic scream of his crying outburst, baby Palpy shocked the little bugger to death with his......
10-13-2002, 04:02 PM
...naked pictures of Micheal Jackson. But wait, it wasn't the Gloved One it was...
10-13-2002, 06:59 PM
.....the Gloved one of the future, from his plane, the one known as.......
10-13-2002, 08:03 PM
Poo. Palpy put the picture away and started hitting the dead tubing with a stick. "Wee!" He said, "wee!" Then he went to his little Star Destroyer to get his...
10-13-2002, 08:07 PM
...Nerf Crotch Bat.
He said, "Let's see what this baby will do," when suddenly, he was distracted by a....
10-13-2002, 08:15 PM
Conduit worm on the deadtubingcarcasscadaver! He ran away in fear of said worm, but then started swinging wildly at the conduit worm with the crotchbat. The deadtubingcarcasscadaver said...
10-13-2002, 10:35 PM
..."Worms don't have crotches so your weapon is useless." Palpy, realizing that the this was true....
10-14-2002, 01:25 AM
....so he took the crotchbat and nailed Darth Kik'but in the appropriate area....
10-14-2002, 02:17 AM
...., the face! That's right, every being strong in the force, especially Lenny Palpatine, knows that you go for the face, only the weak must go for crotch.
All the while this pummeling was continuing a strange object was seen approaching from afar.
From it's size it could only be one thing, a...
10-15-2002, 05:39 PM
. . . very small dewback on a hang-glider.
"Only one creature in existence would dare ride a very small dewback on a hang-glider," muttered Darth Kik'but between blows from the crotch-bat. "And that being is. . .
10-15-2002, 09:05 PM
"...Johnson!" Palpatine yelled, following the Sith Lord's gaze. "Is that you?"
"No, you fool," Darth Kik'but said. "That's obviously..."
10-15-2002, 10:50 PM
..Adoy, Yoda's evil twin."
Well Adoy had just about enough of watching these 2 pansies spanking each other and decided to teach them a lesson. He leaped from his perch on his miniature dewback and with one thunderous swipe he...
10-22-2002, 03:17 PM
. . . broke a pillar.
"Why'd yuh do that?" asked Lanny Palpatine.
"Because a lesson must you punks be taught. Come the time has for all good men to. . . .
10-22-2002, 03:46 PM
...By My hands...DIE!!!
with that said he killed all but the child
for this child was to be...
10-22-2002, 04:59 PM
..made to clean up the bloody mess.
Well Lenny had about enough of this town. He boarded his trusty Fjord Galaxy Starship and blasted off. His next stop was the planet...
10-22-2002, 05:35 PM
"HEY!" shouted Darth Kik'but. "You're dead! You can't fly away!!"
"You're dead, too, jerky!" said Lanny.
"Oh. Oh yeah. You're right." Darth Kik'but hovered in place for a few moments and said, "Uh, spooky. Woooooo!!"
And as they watched, no longer able to affect the procedings in the real world, young Cos Palpatine picked up Darth Kik'but's saber and. . . .
10-22-2002, 07:07 PM
Shoved it up his...err...nose. :D Darth screamed "Ouch! That stung, you A-hole!" Palpy just stood there, thinking (Eww...now it's all mucus-y). So he pulled the saber out with a sickening squish/sizzle and...
10-23-2002, 01:12 PM
. . . handed it to Adoy.
"Truly wonderful, the snot-covered saber hilt of a dead Sith Lord is." Adoy wiped the goo off the saber, took one hard look at the future Emperor of the galaxy, and. . . .
11-13-2002, 01:14 PM
. . . slapped him like his daddy should've.
"A great Sith are you to be. But Darth Kik'but a poopie-head is. Train you must I." And so Adoy grabbed the baby under his arm and turned to rush off.
Just at that moment, a female Bothan with a toupee came in the door.
"You are who?" asked Adoy.
"I'm Jill Wiley, from the mail-order Bothan bride service. Are you Lanny Palpatine?"
As the ghost of Lanny Palpatine tried desperately to get the attention of his would-be bride (and was unsuccessful due to Jill's inability to see dead people), Adoy turned to her and. . . .
02-27-2003, 03:34 PM
. . . belched.
02-28-2003, 06:42 PM
Then baby Palpatine began crying, to which Adoy replied, "I don't care what you smell."
02-28-2003, 10:08 PM
But then Adoy smelled it too. He looked around for it but could not find where it was coming from. As he came back to the room with baby Palpy there was a ....................
03-02-2003, 04:24 AM
Gungan shaking his foot, trying to shake off the poodoo as comical as possible.. unfortunatly baby palpy didnt find this gungan humorous and unleashed a powerful........
03-03-2003, 02:40 PM
.......laser eye beam that took the Gungans head clean off. Seeing this Adoy backed up to leave the room. Almost out of the room baby Palpy looked at him and............
03-04-2003, 09:47 AM
The Gungan's head had sprouted Opie claw legs and started to rush baby Palpy.........
03-19-2003, 11:29 PM
Adoy jumped into action with his lightsqabre and hacked the Opie claw Gungan to bits. Baby Palpy just chuckled and clapped.
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