How many times could you wish to spew this creedo at your boss.

[scruffziller]

If I had the magic to accomplish that, do you think I would be working here!

Or a little more friendly, If I had the magic to accomplish that, do you think I would still be a peon and not prez of the company.

[QLD]

Can't say I've ever thought about saying that one....

[Patient Zero]

How about: If I knew the answer to that question, then I would have your job.

Or: Don't tell me which of the dozen jobs you just gave me takes priority because I'm psychic.

[Darth Sidious]

Or when a policeman pulls you over and asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Say, "Why are you asking me, jack@$$, you pulled me over!"

[Jargo]

Credo not creedo.

Creedo would be the cousin of Greedo who's smarter and thinks fast enough to shoot fast and first :)

Delegation is the best tool for accomplishing tasks one doesn't and wouldn't stoop to. There's always someone one rung down the ladder from you that can be blackmailed into performing the most hidious menial and demeaning of tasks.

I usually tell my bosses "No, I will not do that, it's not specifically laid out in my contract that I perform that duty so therefore I am not obliged to comply." Then I get my coat and pack up my things and wait with my hand out for my letter of termination of said contract.

[Dar' Argol]

My favorite is "As per OSHA regulation, I can only have up to 4 people on my butt at one time. Unless I install handrails, I could face serious fines. Please wait until a spot has been vacated":D

[Lowly Bantha Cleaner]

Too often we let the pressures of our hectic job, our deadlines, our boss, our fellow employees and the people we deal with at work get to us. Remember when someone annoys us, it takes us fully 42 muscles in our face to frown but only 4 to extend our arms and slap the mother in the head.

[scruffziller]

I love this site that gives the ultimate statements. Funny thing is, that I thought of doing these like 2 days before I saw them. But I will make my own soon anyway.Despair Inc. (http://www.despair.com)

[scruffziller]

Okay here is my first produced demotivational poster.

[scruffziller]

Here's another one.

[scruffziller]

Another one.

[scruffziller]

Here is another one.:D :Pirate: :evil:

[scruffziller]

Here is more.

[scruffziller]

more:D

[scruffziller]

A new one.

[scruffziller]

More.

[scruffziller]

Hee Hee

[scruffziller]

Here is one for Halloween.

[QLD]

If you post in a thread, and there is no one there to see it, is it actually there?

j/k :crazed:

[jjreason]

Somebody spewed on our boss last Remembrance Day. Free booze at the Legion.

[scruffziller]

Here is more.

[scruffziller]

A twist design.

[scruffziller]

A recent inspiration.

[scruffziller]

More.

[scruffziller]

more

[scruffziller]

More recent inspiration.

[scruffziller]

An inspiration from some time ago.

[scruffziller]

I am back with some more.

[scruffziller]

Here is one for all you retail laborers.

[scruffziller]

Here is one for a retail chain in particular.:D

[scruffziller]

Some more. I have been writing these down but have not got to producing them till now.

[scruffziller]

Originally posted by Quite-Long Dong
If you post in a thread, and there is no one there to see it, is it actually there?

j/k :crazed:

Yes it is, because you see it and I see it.

[scruffziller]

New One.

[QLD]

I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but are these supposed to be funny? I was just curious. Maybe I have a different sense of humor.

[scruffziller]

You just have to work in retail I guess.

In case you missed the link previously in the thread here it is again in which this is the inspiration where I get the idea for these. Actually I thought of them before I saw the website but nonetheless.

http://www.despair.com/

[QLD]

I worked in retail for many years, at Media Play, Blockbuster, Electronics Boutique, Borders, and other small stores.

I dunno, I mean, I see the point trying to be put across, but it isn't really funny. Not even the ones on that site. It's just......there.

[scruffziller]

Hmmmmmmmm........

Maybe it is just you.;)

Everyone I talk to and send these to bust out laughing because to them there is a deep relevance that connects with them. I should have meant when you work for a LARGE corperation that I work for or working in sales of any sort like telemarketing. You appreciate these because you see the original ones that have HAPPY slogans(such as "YOU MISS 100% OF THE CHANCES YOU DON"T TAKE or CHANGE:A BEND IN THE ROAD IS ONLY THE END IF YOU FAIL TO MAKE THE TURN) and these are the SPOOFS because your superiors use those little posters as their way of teaching and not doing there job.

I'll post all the ones that website has so you can look at them here without searching.

http://www.despair.com/flattery.html
http://www.despair.com/gettowork.html
http://www.despair.com/goals.html
http://www.despair.com/indifference.html
http://www.despair.com/individuality.html
http://www.despair.com/intimidation.html

http://www.despair.com/leaders.html

http://www.despair.com/limitations.html
http://www.despair.com/meetings.html
http://www.despair.com/motivation.html
http://www.despair.com/planning.html
http://www.despair.com/strife.html (http://www.despair.com/noname13.html)
http://www.despair.com/arrogance.html
http://www.despair.com/consulting.html
http://www.despair.com/demotivation.html
http://www.despair.com/elitism.html
http://www.despair.com/fear.html
http://www.despair.com/hazards.html
http://www.despair.com/ir.html
http://www.despair.com/loneliness.html
http://www.despair.com/overconfidence.html
http://www.despair.com/regret.html
http://www.despair.com/risks.html
http://www.despair.com/sacrifice.html
http://www.despair.com/bitterness.html
http://www.despair.com/blame.html
http://www.despair.com/demotivators/cluelessness.html
http://www.despair.com/daretoslack.html
http://www.despair.com/demotivators/delusions.html
http://www.despair.com/disloyalty.html
http://www.despair.com/disservice.html
http://www.despair.com/demotivators/dysfunction.html
http://www.despair.com/demotivators/incompetence.html
http://www.despair.com/demotivators/incompetence.html
http://www.despair.com/demotivators/insanity.html
http://www.despair.com/pretension.html
http://www.despair.com/adversity.html
http://www.despair.com/burnout.html
http://www.despair.com/connot.html
http://www.despair.com/despair.html
http://www.despair.com/doubt.html
http://www.despair.com/humiliation.html
http://www.despair.com/idiocy.html

[QLD]

I've seen them before, we have some at work now. I dunno, I guess I was never annoyed by them enough for the spoofs to make me laugh.

[scruffziller]

I was suspecting that was the case that you never really have been angered to the point at a superior that you wanted to throw an intillectual statement right back at him/her that they tried to spew at you. What these do is tell it for how it really is and no sugar coating. I'll post the rest here.

http://www.despair.com/idiocy.html
http://www.despair.com/laziness.html
http://www.despair.com/misfortune.html
http://www.despair.com/problems.html
http://www.despair.com/trouble.html
http://www.despair.com/un.html
Agony (http://www.despair.com/ag24x30prin.html)
Apathy (http://www.despair.com/ap24x30prin.html)
Defeat (http://www.despair.com/def24x30prin.html)
Failure (http://www.despair.com/fail24x30pri.html)
Futility (http://www.despair.com/fut24x30prin.html)
Ineptitude (http://www.despair.com/in24x30prin.html)
Losing (http://www.despair.com/los24x30prin.html)
Mediocrity(one of my favorites) (http://www.despair.com/med24x30prin.html)
Mistakes (http://www.despair.com/mis24x30prin.html)
Pessimism (http://www.despair.com/pes24x30prin.html)
Procastination (http://www.despair.com/proc24x30pri.html)
Stupidity(another favorite) (http://www.despair.com/stup24x30pri.html)
Change (http://lib1.store.vip.sc5.yahoo.com/lib/demotivators/changepic.jpeg)

[scruffziller]

Well inventory time has been happening at WAL MART and all the management there has been real jumpy and scrutinizing where they don't usually scrutinize. They have been leaving me alone for a real long time but not anymore. And being harsher about certain issues and/or starting to care when they didn't care before. I will have some more inspiration for some more demotivational posters.

[scruffziller]

Well all that going on sure did give me some inspiration!!!!
I am back with some more.

[scruffziller]

Well recently things at WM have been so bad I am at a loss for words of what posters I can create but I have gathered some in my mind, here is the first.

[scruffziller]

Wow, I can't believe it has been 2 years since I last made one of these Demotivational posters. I suppose it is because, shortly after I posted the last one I went to a different department where things were not as rough and didn't have the same managers anymore.:thumbsup:

[scruffziller]

Back in an area where I may need to make some more.

[Mad Slanted Powers]

I saw some at verydemotivational.com a couple months ago that had me cracking up.

First, some Star Wars themed ones:

Awesome (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/129060547816534387.jpg)

Regrets (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/129030749970221098.jpg)

Unemployment (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/129030746584418179.jpg)

Spiders give me the creeps:

Big Spiders (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/129033350123189274.jpg)

Adversity (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/129030732886049260.jpg)

Some ones for the geeks:

Divide By Zero (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/129060523583098044.jpg)

Microwaves (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/129055600068960748.jpg)

Geek Humor (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/129042946412437456.jpg)

Hope (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/129041178464697781.jpg)

No love for the ladies in these two:

Double Standards (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/129039390345477450.jpg)

Laundry (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/129035151383770462.jpg)

More reasons why clowns are creepy:

Abandoned Clown Train (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/129030745909570110.jpg)

Clown Meat (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/129030745603005648.jpg)

And a couple other ones I particularly liked:

Cookies (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/129034757224804830.jpg)

High Scores (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/129034750514093934.jpg)