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Bel-Cam Jos
01-12-2003, 09:50 AM
Since it's been so successful in the other areas (at least according to me :rolleyes: ), how's abouts a similar thread for the as-yet-unknown Episode III? Okay? Okay! (p.s. Remember that this is a Spoiler-free zone, too)

ON PLANET X
Anakin (talking to Padme's pregnant stomach): "Luke, I am your father. Yes I am! Daddy, daddy, daddy!"

ON PLANET XY, OVER MOLTEN LAVA PIT
Anakin: "Remember when you said I would be the death of you someday?"
Kenobi: "Yes."
Anakin: "What exactly did you mean by that?"
Kenobi: "Well, Anakin. You see, you have always been impulsive and quick to anger, so I just thought-"
(Anakin pushes Obi-Wan into pit)
Anakin: "Gotcha! Master...? Oops, this is not good."

ON CORUSCANT
Palpatine: "Honored Jedi Council Members, I have some important news for you all. I am... wait, wasn't there some little green guy?"
Mace: "Nope."
Palpatine: "You sure? I thought I remembered one, maybe even a second one."
Ki-Adi: "You are mistaken. No little green guys here, ever."
Palpatine: "I guess you're right. Meet my new best friend."
(Man in dark armor steps forward) "Moo wah haha haha!"

stillakid
01-12-2003, 10:07 AM
Originally posted by Bel-Cam Jos
Since it's been so successful in the other areas (at least according to me :rolleyes: ), how's abouts a similar thread for the as-yet-unknown Episode III? Okay? Okay! (p.s. Remember that this is a Spoiler-free zone, too)

ON PLANET X
Anakin (talking to Padme's pregnant stomach): "Luke, I am your father. Yes I am! Daddy, daddy, daddy!"



Anakin (to Padme's big tummy): Who's your daddy?

Padme (eye's closed in ectasy): Ohhhh, you baby, you!

Anakin (annoyed): I was talking to your stomach!

Pendo
01-12-2003, 10:51 AM
Dooku - Anakin, I am your father.

Anakin - George has already used that one.

Dooku - Sorry. How about "I am your sister!"

Anakin - Done too!

Dooku - DAMN! Ok, how about this one, "Anakin, I am no relation to you what so ever!"

PENDO!

sith_killer_99
01-12-2003, 11:14 AM
Palpatine reveals he is a clone:

Mace: "Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, how are you doing today."

Palpatine: "I am not Chancellor Palpatine, I am Darth Sidious! The clone of Chancellor Palpatine, and Supreme Dark Lord of the Sith."

Mace: "You're a Sith clown."

Palpatine: "No, clone, I said I am a clone of Palpatine, and a Dark Lord of the Sith."

Mace: "Oh, you're a clone!"

Palpatine: "Yes, I murdered Palpatine years ago, before Episode I!"

Mace: "I see."

Palpatine: "That is why I have been aging soo quickly. By the time Episode V rolls around I will probably look like a monkey."

Mace: "Hey, what's with the freaky eye's? You got jaundice or something?"

Rogue II
01-12-2003, 11:30 AM
A conversation in the hospital after Palpatine pulls Anakin out of the lava...

Palpatine: You had a close call my young apprentice.

Anakin: Yeah, tell me about it. I did realize I need to do a few things, like contact my brother Owen and tell him how much I miss him.

Palpatine: Well, is there anything else I can do for you?

Anakin: You know, I always wanted to sound like Barry White. I don't suppose you can help me out with that.

Palpatine: I'll see what I can do.

Flash Foward to Return of the Jedi, just before Vader chucks Palpatine into the shaft:

Palpatine: What are you doing? I saved you, what wrong did I ever do to you?

Vader: I said Barry White, not James Earl Jones!

Bel-Cam Jos
01-12-2003, 03:41 PM
ON CORUSCANT, JEDI TEMPLE
Yoda: "Ready the Council is, to put you to the Trials."
Anakin: "Thank you, Master."
Mace: "Anakin, if one speeder is travelling east at 100 kph and another going north at 80 kph, how long would it take the second speeder to reach the first, travelling at a 45-degree angle?"
Anakin: "Uh, twelve hours?"
Mace: "Wrong! You fail the Trials!"
Anakin: "Grr! I'll kill you all!"
Yoda: "Whatever. To the hand, talk to."

ON TATOOINE
Jabba: "Where's my talk droid?"
Droid: "Here, my lord."
Jabba: "I want you to hit me as hard as you can."
Droid: "Pardon me, sire?"
Jabba: "You heard me. I want you to hit me as hard as you can."
Droid: "Okay." (Barely taps him)
Jabba: "No! I am angry with you, you terrible interpreter! EV-9D9, disintegrate him!"
EV-9D9: "Oh yeah!"

El Chuxter
01-14-2003, 02:33 PM
YODA: Anakin, never told you Shmi what to your father happened!
ANAKIN: She told me enough! Something about not being able to explain it, yadda yadda.
YODA: No. Your father am I.
ANAKIN: Noooooooooooooo!!!

MACE: Married? This is bad.
PADME: Why's that?
YODA: Against the code it is. Marriage leads to--
ANAKIN: Oh, shove it in your pointy ear! It's not always been that way. I've read the old comics, about the Sunriders and such. And how do you explain Ki-Adi and Kieran? They're both married. It's not fair!
YODA: When last a Jedi was divorced, lost everything we did. A thousand millennia it took us to earn what we have.
PADME: I've never heard of a Jedi divorce!
KI-ADI: That's because we changed the story.
MACE: You see, we couldn't let it get out that our greatest enemies were all descended from Yoda's vindictive ex-wife, Sithy.

YODA: Find Anakin we must. Enlisted the galaxy's greatest spy I have. Hello you will say to Sly Wiley!

Bel-Cam Jos
01-19-2003, 04:33 PM
Originally posted by El Chuxter
YODA: Find Anakin we must. Enlisted the galaxy's greatest spy I have. Hello you will say to Sly Wiley!
I am grinning a sly grin, Chuxter! :rolleyes:

ON TATOOINE :Pirate:
Anakin: "Chep oblo a weelo, Watto." (I'm here to find my step-brother, Watto)
Watto (wearing an eye-patch and a goatee, with a mynock on his shoulder): "Annie? Little orphan Annie? It is you! You're a Sith now. Say! How's about you help me with some deadbeats that owe me a lot of money?"
Anakin: "I'm here to find Owen Lars."
Watto: "Lars? Uh, I don't sell to him anymore. In fact, I hear he married that Beru, over past Mos Eisely, I think."
Anakin: "I feel like we've done this before..."
Watto: "Oh, no. See the goatee? It's not a scruffy beard like my Episode II figure; now Hasbro can make a new figure of me!"
Anakin: "Why do I have the desire to wear a white moisture farmer outfit right now?"
Watto: "Arr!" :Pirate:

ON NABOO
Padme: "Anakin, I have some important news about us."
Anakin: "Sure, yeah. Whatever." (Practices lightsaber moves)
Padme: "I'm... I mean we... I... I'm going to have a child."
Anakin: "Yeah, those Corellians are pretty wild." (Continues lightsaber moves)
Padme: "Do you ever listen to me anymore?"
Anakin: "No, I've never been to Yavin Four. Why?" (Move saber practicing)
Padme: "Oh, nothing..."

ON PLANET G
Count Dooku: "So. We meet again."
Anakiin: "No, I'm an Expanded Universe Clone of Anakin. See the extra vowel in my name? We've never met before."
Count Dooku: "My bad."
Anakiin: "No prob."

Rogue II
01-19-2003, 05:03 PM
Missing Musical Scene: The Duet of Yoda and Kermit the Frog sitting on a log in the Dagobah swamp singing "It's not easy being green."

Wookiee
01-22-2003, 03:16 PM
Count Dooku:

"You're a Wizard, Anakin.
Line?
wait, I mean,
Frodo, use the Force!
no, what I meant to say,
was,
You must destroy the One Ring, Harry Potter.
Ok wait,
Which one is this again?"

Bel-Cam Jos
01-23-2003, 06:24 PM
ON PLANET G
Anakin: "Oh no! Master Yoda is dead!"
Mace: "This is a dark day for the galaxy."
Anakin: "This can't happen!"
Ki-Adi: "We must accept that the Force is not all-powerful."
Anakin: "No, I mean this can't happen! It ruins the whole Classic Trilogy!"
(Bearded, flannel voice): "But they're my movies..."
Anakin: "Grr!"
Voice: "Just kidding! See, he's jumping around already."
Yoda: "A kid again, I feel like. Not since 400 years have I felt so young!"
Voice: "Now... who can Yoda fight in this movie...?"

ON CORUSCANT
Palpatine: "Now, we need a name for these new fighters. Any ideas?"
Trooper: "We could put it to a vote."
Palpatine (rubbing fingertips together): "Excellent!"
(Vote is counted)
Trooper: "A problem, sir."
Palpatine: "What is it?"
Trooper: "The vote came up 3720 to 3720."
Palpatine: "Well, whatever shall we do now?"
Trooper: "I know! We'll call them X-Wings!"

El Chuxter
02-05-2003, 05:27 PM
With apologies to Space Ghost:

ANAKIN: Who all here is evil? Sound off!
PALPATINE: I'm evil!
JAR JAR: Meesa evil!
PALPATINE: Oh, you are not! You're as harmless as an Ewok's butt!
JAR JAR: Meesa not! Meesa ruin movie!
GHOST OF QUI-GON: The ability to ruin a movie does not make you evil.
ANAKIN: I'm going to have to go with them on this. You simply don't have the mental capacity to be evil.
JAR JAR: Oh, meesa forgettin' how to be evil.
ANAKIN: I've got it! Let Palpatine teach you to be evil!
PALPATINE: Oh, do I hafta?
ANAKIN: Yes, you hafta.
PALPATINE: Oh, all right. Repeat after me: "Wipe them out. All of them."
JAR JAR: Yousa wiping them out now, okieday?
PALPATINE: No! Repeat: "Let the hatred flow through you."
JAR JAR: Ooh, da bombad flowing through yousa!
PALPATINE: Oh, this will never work! How about I just kill him and teach you to be evil, Anakin?
ANAKIN: Fair enough.

Bel-Cam Jos
02-08-2003, 01:01 PM
ON CORUSCANT
Anakin: "Well, I'm glad that whole Clone War thing is over."
Obi-Wan: "I agree."
Yoda: "Something we have to give you, Padawan Skywalker."
Anakin (holding up trophy): "'For Bravery Beyond the Call of Duty...' I can't read the rest. It's smudged."
Obi-Wan: "Looks like Drth Vdr, or something..."
Anakin: "So, that's who I'm supposed to be? Well, fine!"
Yoda: "Oops."

ON CRIME WORLD B
Boba Fett: "Yippee! I won the sabaac game!"
Boy: "Did not!"
Fett: "Did so!"
Anakin: "Hey, stop it kids! I'm a Jedi Knight now, so I am the peace keeper of the galaxy."
Fett: "Fine!" (he distinegrates the card deck)
Boy: "That was my deck!"
Fett: "What're you gonna do? Hit my rocket pack with a staff someday?"
Boy: "I think I just might!"
Anakin: "I have a bad feeling about this."

darthvyn
02-23-2003, 10:38 PM
obi-wan: anakin has changed... he's more machine now, than man... well, at least his arm is. his arm is more machine now than man. hmmm, doens't sound that menacing anymore. blast!

El Chuxter
03-07-2003, 10:31 AM
PALPATINE: "Vader, why do I get the feeling you will be the death of me?"

Bel-Cam Jos
03-14-2003, 06:58 PM
PLANET Y
Obi-Wan: "What's going on?"
Anakin: "Remember when I said I would learn to keep people from dying?"
Obi-Wan: "No. I wasn't in that scene."
Anakin: "Whatever. I'm going to clone myself."
Obi-Wan: "What? What did you say?"
Anakin: "A clone. Great idea, huh?"
Obi-Wan: "Uh... I don't know..."
Anakin: "Here we go!"
(Anakin is cloned)
New Anakin: "How do I look?"
Obi-Wan: "No different."
New Anakin: "Wait, lemme try on my new outfit."
(Anakin dons Vader armor)
Obi-Wan: "Ahh! What is that?"
New Anakin: "It's my new machine outfit. I'm more machine than man now! I wanna be called 'Twisted N. Evil' from now on. Hey, old Anakin."
Old Anakin: "Yeah?"
New Anakin: "Your shoe's untied."
Old Anakin: "Oh, thanks."
(Anakin clone in armor stabs old Anakin with lightsaber)
Old Anakin: "Ahh! You've betrayed me! And murdered me, the father of my children, especially Lu..."
Obi-Wan: "Well, from a certain point of view, I suppose this darn invader killed Anakin."
New Anakin: "Who?"
Obi-Wan: "Invader."
Anakin: "Vader, eh...? I like it!"
Obi-Wan: "Uh, gotta run!"

Bel-Cam Jos
03-29-2003, 09:05 AM
ON CORUSCANT
Yoda: "Good to have disposed of that Sith Lord Vader, we have."
Obi-Wan: "Yes. He shall never harm Jedi again."
Anakin: "And especially any Jedi wives or children, too."
Obi-Wan: "Huh?"
Yoda: "Hmm. To Dagobah, I must make arrangements now."
Obi-Wan: "Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?!? Am I going to have to make stories up from my own point of view or something? Hey; I kinda like that!"
Yoda: "The man has no patience. Much like any Padawans he might train in the future..."

JEDIpartner
04-03-2003, 01:52 PM
Anakin: ripping through storage crates in the Jedi Temple "Where are my cha-cha heels?!! I told you I wanted cha-cha heels and you didn't get them for me!"

Mace: "Now Anakin... just settle down... Master Yoda and I didn't feel that it was appropriate for a Jedi Knight such as yourself to have cha-cha heels. What would the neighbours think?"

Anakin: "I don't care! You hear what I said!!! I wanted cha-cha heels and I want them now!!!"

Anakin ignites his lightsaber and smites Mace Windu before heading off to confront Yoda and Obi-Wan