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Rogue II
01-13-2003, 08:39 AM
Ever been some advice that just doesn't make sense right away? But, after you think about it for a while, you see the point. Here are 2 to start off.

"If you poop in one hand and think in the other, which hand gets full first?"

and

"Apologize, but never say you're 'sorry'."

Fulit
01-13-2003, 09:28 AM
Geez, I think first you'd better explain those two to me.........

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

scruffziller
01-13-2003, 09:55 AM
If you leave a bicycle pump in the yard in the middle of the night........er:confused:

Rogue II
01-13-2003, 10:11 AM
The first one, "If you poop in one hand..." basically means to quit waiting around for something to happen and do something. I've heard the expression using both "think" and "wish." Looking back, "wish" probably makes more sense.

"Apologize..." I was told that one just over a year ago. He was said it was alright to apologize. But, "sorry" has two meanings one means apologize (i.e. "I'm sorry for punching you in the nads"), the other means weak (i.e. "The Bengals are sorry").

Jargo
01-13-2003, 02:50 PM
"Is it better to never speak, or to waste your voice and never be heard? "

Actually that's a song lyric but it sounds like good advice to me in the form of a question one must ask oneself. I sometimes ponder it while browsing this place.....

Ji'dai
01-13-2003, 05:24 PM
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

- Abraham Lincoln

"Who is the more foolish, the Fool or the Fool that follows him?"

- Obi-Wan Kenobi

Rogue II
01-13-2003, 05:33 PM
Originally posted by Ji'dai
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

- Abraham Lincoln


Didn't Mark Twain say that?

Jedi_Master_Guyute
01-13-2003, 06:16 PM
"it's like my grandmother told me: why buy the cow, when you can have the s-- for free?"- Banky Edwards


(if this is anyway naughty, lemme know Mods and i'll change it! :D)

Jedi Master Silas
01-13-2003, 06:45 PM
Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO
"Is it better to never speak, or to waste your voice and never be heard? "


Jargo I like that one....

Jargo
01-13-2003, 07:42 PM
My grandma used to always tell me I'd "better come to your cakes and milk" Which I never understood at all. Usually it was if I was misbehaving and the inference was that something bad would happen if I didn't. I suppose it means that if you don't behave you don't get reward and I suppose an American equivelent would be milk and cookies. But when I was a kid it puzzled me and put the fear of my life into me. Grandmas have that way of making innocent things sound ominous. Needless to say it never worked though. To think of all the 'cakes and milk' I could have had if I'd been better behaved....... :evil:

Policeman: "Does this young man belong to you Mrs. ******, found him up at the local grocery store with half the contents of the candy counter shoved down his trouser legs. The owner isn't going to press charges - this time...."

Ji'dai
01-13-2003, 07:59 PM
Originally posted by Rogue II
Didn't Mark Twain say that?

It's a possibility. I couldn't remember; the quotations web site I browsed attributed it to Lincoln.

It certainly sounds like something Clemens would have said, though.

scruffziller
01-14-2003, 05:08 AM
Don't take any wooden nickels.:sur:

WHich means to me, don't take any bad advice!!!:D

Curiosity is greater than vanity.
Only when you get older.



Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO
"Is it better to never speak, or to waste your voice and never be heard? "

Actually that's a song lyric but it sounds like good advice to me in the form of a question one must ask oneself. I sometimes ponder it while browsing this place.....

I have found this to be a credo that I have lived by. Because if you do speak and not heard you make a fool out of yourself.

Emperor Howdy
01-14-2003, 11:08 PM
"Don't poo where you eat".

Tonysmo
01-15-2003, 05:40 AM
the wildest advice I ever got, at least one that sticks with me, I had a manager in a telecom company pull me into his office and tell me... " It's time to grow the @*&! up, you arent in a factory anymore.." That was the 1st time anyone had put it to me so bluntly.. unfortunatly, I didnt listen... well.. kinda...

Jargo
01-15-2003, 07:59 AM
"Go g@y. It's cheaper".

A bit of graffitti I read. I don't necessarily condone that courseof action but thinking about it it makes sense. No wife or kids to feed = more disposable income.

"Cast nary a clout 'til may be out".

What? Huh? apparently it means that you shouldn't cast off your outer garments before the end of May because it's not really summer until then. It's usually advice doled out by old ladies trying to make the whole world wear a vest and cover up any hint of nakedness. But originally i think it was just advice to the young not to be hasty in spring and start going around with summer clothes on in case the temperature suddenly dropped and they caught pneumonia or something. We're talking like the 17th century when this saying was first around so yeah pneumonia was a biggie back then.
I just never understood it until a couple of years ago when it dawned on me that clout was a dialect pronunciation of clothes.
I think it's a British saying but i'd be interested to know if there's something similar elsewhere in the world.

"look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves".

Just good financial advice. Again not really understood until recently. It's definately a good adage though.

Emperor Howdy
01-15-2003, 11:00 AM
"Don't throw out the bath water on the dirty baby."




wait......




"Don't throw out dirt on the baby's bath water?"



No...that's not it either......



Umm..."Don't throw the baby out with the dirty bathwater?.....I......I.......really don't know......nor completely understand it........nor really care......but HEY! Speaking of babies....what's blue and green and smells like rotten sushi? Five hundred babies in a dumpster. What's pink and has the breath of five hundred babies in a dumpster? A live one on the bottom eating his way out! :p

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Patient Zero
01-15-2003, 11:15 AM
Some one once told me not to eat any wooden nickels...but then again it was the same person that asked me how I would feel if Trash drove down the street throwing me out.

Jedi Master Silas
01-28-2003, 06:19 AM
Never eat yellow snow.........:eek:

Lord Malakite
01-28-2003, 07:06 AM
Originally posted by Jedi Master Silas
Never eat yellow snow.........:eek:

Now you tell me!!

Jedi Master Silas
02-04-2003, 11:44 AM
*Shaking my head* LOL !