View Full Version : I hate telemarketers

02-22-2003, 01:40 PM
I hate them. I really do.

I mean, what part of NO do they not understand.

Yes sir, I'd like to offer you our long distance service.

no thank you.....

But really sir, we can save you 10 dollars a month.

No thank you, I am not interested.

Do you not like saving money sir?

Yes I do, but I am not interested.

What if I told you that you are spending 10 dollars a month extra on service you aren't using?

I would tell you that I am not interested in changing. Thank you.

Why are you not interested?

Well, frankly, that isn't any of your business. I just do not want to, that is all.

Well sir, that doesn't make much sense.

NO, what doesn't make sense, is you pestering me after I said NO! I do not want your service, just like I didn't YESTERDAY when you called. I NEVER want it, so please do not offer it to me again.

Well, if you have any questions, please call blahblah blah.....

Then next day, same time, exact same call, except I am not as nice this time.

I tell them that the reason I don't want MCI is because they call me and wake me up every morning, after I have told them not to. Then the lady says....

Oh, well, we'll call you every morning and wake you up until you say yes......*pause*.....just kidding.....

I about WENT OFF on this lady......I said you better never call me again.

I know people have to make a living, but I would rather mop the VIP room of strip clubs than harass people constantly. I did telemarketing for a day, and couldn't live with myself, so I quit the next day, and never even picked up my check.

SO in short, I hate telemarketers. :Pirate:

Rogue II
02-22-2003, 01:53 PM
I don't get mad at them, here is a typical conversation I have with them.


Hi, I'm from _____ are you interested in ____?

No thanks. <click>

After that "<click>" I can't hear what they are saying because I have already hung up on them.:D

Darth Sidious
02-22-2003, 02:10 PM
I love telemarketers, I always mess with them. For example:
"Hi, I'm from ______ and I am here to offer you more energy-efficient ___?
"No thanks, I'm Amish."


"Hello, I'm from ___ and my company is offering new furniture."
"No... *Sniff*...my house just burnt down and everyone died..."


02-22-2003, 02:39 PM
My best advice just don't even answer the phone. And if you do, and you know it is a telemarketer just hang up ASAP. If you converse with them(especially the ones that said the things they did, which they should have been fired for), and argue with them, you give them more power. Because you are not fighting with that person, you are fighting with the company they work for. THe company trains them and they do the company's bidding regardless of reasoning with them. They are doing what they do because it means their job if they don't, just based on how they converse with you. If they were self employed, they probably wouldn't badger you like they are doing. Most programs I called on required a minimum of 2 rebuttles plus your judgement if the customer was showing interest. That means asking for the sale again after you say no. Some people take it farther than they should. Me, I only did what was the minimum requirement. The best course of action (while still talking to them) would be to say TAKE ME OFF THE LIST. Who knows if it actually happens, but they have to stop and say "Yes sir, I'll be happy to tdo that." It's easier on you and them. If they don't comply and keep trying to sell, then ask for their supervisor. Just remember the old saying, KEEP ME ON THE PHONE ONCE SHAME ON THEM, KEEP ME ON THE PHONE TWICE, SHAME ON YOU.:)

02-22-2003, 02:51 PM
"take me off the list" ? ? ? Many times when I've tried that, they said "uh, you need to call 1-800-whatever to be taken off the list.

No thanks, I'll just hang up.

Oh, my state put in a "no call" list effective Jan 2003 but now certain companies are trying to sue to get it removed. WHAT ?
If people took the effort to place themselves on the list, what makes the telemarketers think they'll be able to sell their crap to those people?

Foolish. :stupid:

02-22-2003, 03:08 PM
Wasn't there a thread on this last year?

Originally posted by Rogue II
I don't get mad at them, here is a typical conversation I have with them.


Hi, I'm from _____ are you interested in ____?

No thanks. <click>

After that "<click>" I can't hear what they are saying because I have already hung up on them.:D

That's the best way to get your point across besides not answering the phone.:D

02-22-2003, 03:35 PM
True, but I shouldn't have to hide from my phone to avoid their b.s.

02-22-2003, 05:00 PM
Just tell them to tell it to the dial tone.

02-22-2003, 06:53 PM
I answered a job ad in the paper last year when I was unemployed. Showed up for the interview and saw the telemarketing going on... I decided to go to the second int the next day and sit in on some calls.

We arranged for my first day of work and I just couldn't go, in good conscience.

02-23-2003, 01:19 AM
The best one yet ( sorta angrily as it was past 9pm ) " I'm not interested, and PLEASE don't call me this late EVER again.. thanks ( click ) "

few minutes later.. ( ring ) Heeeelllllooooooooo

( call ) "what's up?" ( female voice )

I'm sorry, may I ask whos calling?

( call ) "you don't remember me?

um, no.. should I?

( call ) I can't believe you don't remember me, we had soooo much fun the other day when we met..

I'm sorry you have the wrong number..

( call ) well I just wanted to let you know not to ()#$% with a telemarketer.. ( click )

yes - really happened. and while sorta shocked I could'nt help but envy how fun it would be to have a NON-TRACEABLE phone number.. I really think if they want to call, they should have a REAL number show up on my caller ID so I can call them back. I have plenty of time on midnights..

02-23-2003, 10:13 AM
That sucks Tony. But most of the people doing that anyway, are far from the most reputable in the world. In fact, I read something a while back, that says a few telemarketing companies pay prisons, to have convicts do telemarketing work for them for cheap labor. Although, it makes sense I guess, because I feel like I am being robbed of my time by having to talk to these people.

I should not be afraid to answer my phone. My current favorite is the auto dial systems, and the long pause you get when you say Hello.





*rattle* *click* *shuffle*

Um yes,....uhh.....Mr. Dong????


I'm calling from the Georgia State Patrol office. And right now, we are selling limited edition 2003 copper Abraham Lincoln commemorative coins! For only $50.00, you can own one, and support your local police.

No thanks.....

But Mr. Dong, do you not support your police?

Yes, but I don't support you.

followed by more tactics to shame me into donating money.

I am going to start saying to these people.....

*You don't want to sell me products over the phone, you want to go home, and reconsider your life.*

02-23-2003, 10:39 AM
Yeah, I was taking inbound calls from Georgia for a big cable internet and phone provider (who changed while I was working there, back in November... sound familiar, QLD??? I may have spoken to someone you know, I was sure I was speaking to Emperor Howdy once) and it wasn't too bad... we were supposed to turn every call into a sale, but a lot of calls were of the "The technician isn't here yet and it's almost 3 o'clock" variety, hard to sell to someone who can't even get service established.... anyways, all you had to do was slip on a few references to whatever and when disinterest crept in, forget it and process the request... it was quite tolerable, and I really did help many customers, but as things started to go downhill (specially during the merger, since a monopoly of sorts took over and asked all of the existing customers to bend over, that was hard to explain) it got worse..
Then the company I worked for lost the contract, and I was told I was going to be calling poor old people and trying to ram phone features down their throats ... I took the 1 week training, and then my conscience (and a few other factors, but conscience first and foremost) forced me to never go back, so I'm trained to do it, but incapable of doing so..
QLD, one real important thing to remember, we were taught that "often, "no" doesn't mean, "NO", it's simply a request for more information"... utterly ridiculous, but if you wanted to keep your job, you had to apply this credo... the area I live in has suffered greatly as a result of free trade agreements and so forth, so the only real industries here are big-box American stores and telemarketing, as the companies target areas where folks are desperate... a lot of times, they're only pushy cause they're scared, you're one foot out the door at all times and it really sucks

02-23-2003, 12:35 PM
The only companies I can think of that might fit what you are talking about are:

AT&T (who took over MediaOne)
Charter (which took over internet service for @home, and took over Intermedia)
Adelphia (who took over Benchmark)

It does suck that telemarketing jobs are the only easy ones to get besides retail and fast food. But I imagine there is a reason. It is demoralizing work, as people WANT fast food, and products in retail. NOBODY wants telemarketers.

I worked for a place that called old people for "donations" for the GA State Patrol. Depending on how much you donated, you got a "gift". Minimum was $5. They had a big book of selling points, answers to questions, and etc. etc. They gave you a print out of names and phone numbers, and told you to call. 75% of the people I talked to that day were elderly. I was humiliated. I could not do my job, though I did get one $5 donation that day. :rolleyes: I didn't go back the next day, never called, and never picked up my check, because I was too embarrassed to do it. I would honestly rather make $6 an hour at Wal-Mart, or work two $6 an hour jobs, than make $12 an hour doing telemarketing. Some things are just not worth the money.

02-23-2003, 03:53 PM
Well not slamming or loving them I get telemarketers calling me transatlantic. some florida cruise ship company trying to get me to pay something like $9,000,000 for some round the world cuise. I forget the details as I never listen, just marvel that someone in florida is calling me up on spec. apparently i filled in a consumer questionaire once and they passed on my details........ never again. It's bad enough getting all the calls from call centers in my own country but getting transatlantic ones is just ridiculous.

my brother was working in a call center sort of thing and was taking some calls for a bank. So he gets this old lady talking and he gets to the details part and asks her name and she goes "Mrs. Christmas" and he says with a note of caution in his voice, "would that be - Mary Christmas?" and there's a pause and this sheepish and slightly irritated voice on the other end goes, "yes....... :D

02-24-2003, 01:08 AM
Try this next time someone calls - I have found it works pretty well, and feels pretty good all at the same time..

( ring ) hellllooooooo.. ( best Seinfield )

" yeah this is so n so, we wanna sell you some junk.. "

( me ) yeah, hang on just a sec.. ( CLICK )

repeat as needed...

02-24-2003, 09:40 AM
QLD... yeah, it was ATT broadband and then Comcast bought em out after attbb went bankrupt... I was working there since september last...
The details still seemed to be getting hashed out last I saw, when the merge occurred we were left without any information on products or prices for like 2 weeks, it was downright ridiculous...
Yeah, there's legislation about do-not-call lists here in Canada too, I'm not sure if it'll ever be ratified, although it seems like we get less calls than you guys down there do

02-25-2003, 02:24 AM
What did you do for ATTBB?

02-25-2003, 09:45 AM
I tell them that the home owner they need to speak to is on a world wide vacation and won't be back for 6 months to a year. I always get a question like " oh so their rich? " then I reply " yeah you ever hear of Nike? they are part owners and take vacations like this every year. I get paid $15,000 to watch their house. So I can't make any decesions on their home."

It cuts the calls down alot. It's a lie, but hey.... screw them.

02-25-2003, 10:12 AM
I listen for that moment of silence after I say "hello." A normal person calling you will answer right away, but there is a "telemarketer delay." If I hear that, I hang up. Also listen for the telltale sounds of other operators in the background.

The newest trick I've run into is the "casual" call. Usually they're asking for my wife as if they've known her for a million years. Unfortunately I can't tell right off who they are so she's stuck having to deal with it.

But for some real fun, look for a CD by a guy named Tom Mabe (http://www.tommabe.com). Hil - f'in - larious!

02-25-2003, 11:15 AM
That delay is the result of the stupid dialer program they use, it's bad cause there's NO delay on the TM's end, you're just prompted by a "beep" then you're live with someone who has been waiting for who knows how long, since most dialers are automatic... it's a bad system...
For ATTBB, I answered calls for service and repair (which were misrouted, I was in the sales dept), and set people up with cable, internet and phone, it was actually kind of fun, I could give people pay per views, disconnect them on the spot from digital specialty channels, change appointments, you name it.... couldn't do much tech support , but I could re-zap digital boxes if they were acting up, it was cool in that I could hear stuff happening instantly so far away... too bad the business all went "in-house"

The Overlord Returns
02-25-2003, 11:23 AM
Having once managed a reputable telephone sales office for a toronto theatre company...I can tell you...not all telemarketers are evil.

We only called theatre customers...patrons of our company. We were always helpful and friendly, and we removed people from our lists the moment they asked us too....

These big companies don't care...and most business scum who set up telemarketing offices don't either...look at the types they hire...

When dealing with one of these people...I usually make a game of it. I'll go on about how terrible their schpiel is....and how they could do it better, and give them examples...eventually.....they give up and hang up..... ;)

02-25-2003, 01:26 PM
Originally posted by Caesar

Oh, my state put in a "no call" list effective Jan 2003 but now certain companies are trying to sue to get it removed. WHAT ?
If people took the effort to place themselves on the list, what makes the telemarketers think they'll be able to sell their crap to those people?

Foolish. :stupid:

Yes I totally agree.

Darth Sidious
02-25-2003, 02:31 PM
Originally posted by Quite-Long Dong
I am going to start saying to these people.....

*You don't want to sell me products over the phone, you want to go home, and reconsider your life.*

Haha, I just did that and hung up before they could answer...

02-25-2003, 03:14 PM
Nice link on the Tom Mabe site stillakid. Pretty funny stuff. I might have to use the bathroom one myself. :)

02-26-2003, 10:14 AM
Yea QLD, I think Tom Mabe is from your native state. But it is interesting, Georgia was always a pleasant place to call aside from places like Yankee country where I am from. People in the south were always the nicest. Except when we got into calling the greater Atlanta area, then they were just as bad as any Notherner. If you feel you shouldn't have to hide from your phone, just think of this. You should get the Call Manager feature put on your phone. Then you probably say to yourself, I shouldn't have to pay for this for these telemarketers. But look at it this way. Much like you have deemed these phone solicitors a terror, an inconvenience, and a force to be reckoned with they should be treated as such and their existence parrallel to other things of a similar nature, like disease, accidents, tradgedy, potential threats of danger, even terrorism. We take risk every day by living. And much like the potential of danger that exists everywhere, we have insurance that we buy to help off set that potential of risk. Even for terrorism now there is insurance.
And like you are probably saying to yourself, "I shouldn't have to pay for something like that for telemarketers." Don't you think I say that about my car insurance. I have never been in an accident all my life, why should I continue to buy insurance, but because the potential of a threat is always there just like telemarketers will always be there. It is not what are they going to do, BUT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO. Because you can sit and try to deny their existence with your vendetta moral slander on the industry, but it won't go away, just like potential danger. SOme people are probably saying to themselves too, "why should I get terrosism insurance, I live in AMERICA!! Heck even trying to get it outlawed will take money, your tax payer money. So until then Call Manager is the only other option.

I read Tom Mabe's Website and he is very sincere at recognizing that people try to make a living if they do this type of work besides his comedy and that he is against fraudulant telemarketers which anyone should.

And actually, as been a telemarketer, I understand the importance of the no call list. Not only does it benefit, the called but the company making the calls. People who go to the effort to get themselves removed from lists, definatley will not listen to the presentations so why would the company want to waste their resources on those people. It helps to focus their business and efficency. I know because I have talked to some individuals who didn't want their names removed because sometimes they were intersested.

03-01-2003, 03:45 PM
Caller ID is a nice thing. If I don't recognize the number or if it has no name attached, then it goes to the answering machine.

If I'm bored ... I will answer the phone and politely listen to every word that they say, allowing them to talk through their pitch. I will then ask for details on every little point that they've mentioned. I will ask them for more details a second time (some times repeating the same questions in different ways and in different orders) and then I will ask them to explain the "service" to me again from the beginning. As the time passes I will start to introduce more and more irrelevant questions. Sometimes I will ask again and again for them to re-explain past offers and details. I find that my "on the phone" stamina is far greater than theirs ... especially since I can make dinner or do laundry while wasting tons of their time. I will, in general, end the conversation by asking if they can give me the service for an insanely low cost (say, $2 or "do you take food stamps?") ... and then request that they call back at some crazy time so that we can "continue our conversation." Most often I find that if you interject a number of awkward "personal" or intimate questions (hey, they called me ... so it's anything goes) they will become nervous and want to end the call. I tell them that I'm lonely and that though I have no money ... I want to "spend time with them" on the phone. Ask them if they've seen certain movies ... better yet, give them your opinion on something you just read in the newspaper. Heck ... you can try telling them that you want to hear more, but you need to put them on hold for a second "because the parrot is sick." Set the phone down for like 20 minutes ... if they're still there when you pick up, by all means continue your conversation but change the subject to "sick parrots."

So many possibilities!

03-03-2003, 11:17 AM
OK, I tried, but you can't upload wav files for some reason, dammit... look on the net for "disconnect tones", there is a tone that you can put on your answering machine that will work the same as the telezapper does, all you have to do is let your machine handle calls and telemarketers will be destroyed, I have the file but can't put it here, so happy hunting (oh, and I forgot the url too, but it exists)

03-06-2003, 12:06 AM
this is what one of my friends did. His name is joey and his cousin was there too.
Joey: hello?
T.M.: hi is there an adult around?
(in the background, his cousin screams in pain)
Joey: oh my god, did you hear that? My grandpa is dying!!
T.M.: oh my goodness!
cousin: oh my crabs!!!
Joey: did you hear that? it's just crabs! He has crabs!! isn't that wonderful?

also my dad likes to say this: I'm sorry, but to continue this conversation I will be charging $1.00 for the first five minutes and $20 for each additional minute.
usually they are speechless.

03-06-2003, 11:38 AM
That charge idea is great, if I answer to a telemarketer, I will use that...
The other day one called and I was in a playful mood.. she said she was doing a survey, so I gave her a bunch of useless answers, and kept mentioning that I was a telemarketer but that I had to give it up cos it sucked and was morally wrong and so on... she eventually said that she had to give it up, thanked me for my time and let me go, no pitch or nothing, it was great...

oh, excerpt "how concerned are you about the quality of air in your house?" Me- "I don't care at all, I have tons of plants and it's just like having my own oxygen factory... they work so well that sometimes the purity of the air gives me a buzz!!"

03-06-2003, 02:24 PM
I hate telemarketers,I know they are trying to make a living though.I normally just hang up,or when they ask for the homeowner,make up some story that hes in Africa for a few years.

mabudon,I would have answered "I'm only concerned on bean night":DWonder what her reply would have been...;)

Teeska Mon Eebon
03-06-2003, 08:38 PM
First tell them your busy
then ask for their phone number so you can call them back
they usually say no and then you get in their face about them not wanting you to call them during odd hours so why should they?

they usually hang up before I do when that happens

03-07-2003, 10:34 AM
Originally posted by Teeska Mon Eebon
First tell them your busy
then ask for their phone number so you can call them back
they usually say no and then you get in their face about them not wanting you to call them during odd hours so why should they?

they usually hang up before I do when that happens

When I was doing the job and someone said that, I replied,
"I would be more than happy to do so, except if my supervisor is listening and he hears me giving out personal info, I could get in big trouble. So that is more important to me right now than anything." Usually they get all to stuttering.:D I was always devising ways to respond to those situations and do it in an effective manner but if a sup was listening they would be okay with it. The most effective way of getting back when people say that is to simply tell the truth of the whole matter.

I would also say, "I'm sorry but I don't have a phone. It is just an added expense and I make all my calls here because it is free."

That leads to some stuttering on the other end.

And to "What part of NO don't you understand?"

"I understand it perfectly. I am just reacting to it in a way much different than you expect. Kind of like how here in the US it is rude to belch loudly at the table, but in Romania, if you don't belch loudly you insult the cook. And right now were in the telemarketing zone!!!!"
:D :D :D

Well........I didn't take it that far, but........far enough.

Also I forgot to mention, if you don't answer the phone, the autodialer will kick the number out of the system.

03-07-2003, 10:49 AM
How did you reply to people who said:

Go **** yourself you *** **** moron!


That's one of my favorites.

03-07-2003, 10:59 AM
Hey, Scruff, some dialers are smart enough to put the number on callback if there's no answer, ours did that... and you were supposed to schedule callbacks if there was an answering machine, which putting the tones I mentioned earlier should prevent...
Also, don't think that hanging up will do much... where I was working, people would say "well then we'll call you back" to people while (sometimes after) they were hanging up, then mark them for a callback, since callbacks were not counted against your stats...
The 2 problems with telemarketers really are 1- the unscrupulous people who would even consider setting up such a thing, and 2- that the economy is so bad that anyone could even consider doing it for a living..
That's MY beef...
IJG- Beans night?? I wouldn't have thought of that.. being vegetarian, almost every night is beans night:happy:

03-07-2003, 12:50 PM
Originally posted by mabudon
Hey, Scruff, some dialers are smart enough to put the number on callback if there's no answer, ours did that... and you were supposed to schedule callbacks if there was an answering machine, which putting the tones I mentioned earlier should prevent...

Yea that is what I meant. After so many attempts of a callback, mainly an answering machine, the computer labels it a dead number. I know because sometimes for a whole week I won't get any calls and then all of a sudden, I get a bunch of new ones coming through. I know because some of them have Caller ID names now.:)

Originally posted by Quite-Long Dong
How did you reply to people who said:

Go **** yourself you *** **** moron!


That's one of my favorites.

I would say, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................kay. ............................................", (in a very sarcastic tone). But they would usually hang up before they heard it. Is hanging up right at the end part of what you would say, because I must know if I am to give the right answer.:rolleyes: I have a million different scenarios I was ready for.

Get a "REAL" job????....you say... Oh this is a REAL job. I'm doing it for charity or my health. If I was doing anything else on this phone it would be to make a comedy album instead of a measly $2.00 per sale bonus.

I was so dang good at beating customers at their own game who wanted to challenge me, I had grumpy old men in tears by the end.:Pirate: :evil: :crazed: And even converted a few to buy what I was offering.:happy:

03-07-2003, 04:01 PM
No, I wouldn't hang up, I would wait to hear the masterful reply that would make me buy your product.

03-07-2003, 09:01 PM

03-07-2003, 09:37 PM
Or, sometimes I like to just keep repeating the word NO over and over again, until they finally hang up.

But I definately plan on using the bathroom one soon.

03-07-2003, 09:41 PM
It's also useful to threaten to pull out the "uber cutesy face" if they won't leave you alone.

03-08-2003, 06:26 PM
Indeed. In honor of our favorite telemarketers, I decided to make a special place in my signature for them.

03-09-2003, 03:12 PM
I wouldn't go so far as calling telemarketing "terrorism"....... W might do such a thing.... I hear solar power is a terrorist plot, actually...

Yeah, it really should be illegal..... I do, in fact, hate the very concept of telemarketing... it shows how worthless our north american "way of life" actually is, that someone could be considered as "contributing" fo doing so (and getting a paycheck from something is definitely acknowledgement for contributing)
Soon the whole planet will have that kind of freedom... just wait til you get calls from EVERY "free" nation, it'll be great:)

03-10-2003, 02:08 PM
The problem with telemarketing is that they are there to make money, and when they don't, they figure out ways to.:rolleyes: .....:Pirate: .....:evil: .......:D