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View Full Version : Typing Monkeys Don't Write Shakespeare



Patient Zero
05-09-2003, 04:08 PM
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030509/ap_on_fe_st/britain_monkey_authors_3



I find this news story especially humorous as I have had to reboot my damn work computer over a dozen times today because of some parasitic ad program that has infiltrated my harddrive and all the techs have left for the day. I think that the monkeys are on to something. Someone get Hank!

Darth Shifty
05-09-2003, 04:58 PM
The problem is: they didn't give the monkeys enough coffee and cigarettes. They were suffering from writer's block and took it out on the computer. :stupid:

I'm sure there's been lots of times when some of us have been at work and felt like defacating on the keyboard. :eek:

Exhaust Port
05-09-2003, 04:59 PM
I came across this story today as well. It's hilarious! Just goes to show that even statisticians can be wrong. :D

El Chuxter
05-09-2003, 05:47 PM
Composed primarily of the letter 'S'. . . . I wonder if the Eternal Padawan would've pointed that out if I hadn't. :)

This is complete idiocy, since six monkeys, one computer, and six months (which actually is actually far less than six months, since I assume they didn't type continuously) are way smaller than an infinite number of monkeys and keyboards typing constantly for an infinite amount of time.

I still say, moronic experiments notwithstanding, those infinite monkeys will eventually type all the works of Billy-Bob Shakespeare.

Fulit
05-09-2003, 07:01 PM
"Another thing they were interested in was defecating and urinating all over the keyboard".

You know, I've thought of smashing my CPU with a rock and peeing on my keyboard, but I've never had the guts to do it. That and thumbs seperate us from the primates.

Jargo
05-09-2003, 07:12 PM
The Plymouth experiment was funded by England's Arts Council and part of the Vivaria Project, which plans to install computers in zoos across Europe to study differences between animal and artificial life.

These people are wasting our taxes on **** like this? Well shove me sideways down an elephants bum hole if I can't do that sat in my living room. Think they'll fund me as an art installation? Man these morons make me puke. They think they so smarty and clever and innovative and they're just poncey middle class Uni students with too much time on their hands and nothing but excuses for a life. And the 'arts' council of the UK is just a bunch of graduated poncey middle class morons without a goddamned clue as to what art actually is and what someone taking the urine is. But when you've got a national Government willing to pump 70,000,000 pounds stirling into what essentially was a crap circus tent that nobody wanted and nobody visited then I guess the 'arts' council just follows by example. Christ, next thing they'll be having uni courses in Feng Shui and flower pressing. A degree in sleep. A masters in farting. The education system is totally screwed and such a joke that it needs scrapping completely and all these poncey middle class morons should be made to get a real job and stop mincing around like they rule the bloody world.

I had a strange day, does it show....

Darth Shifty
05-09-2003, 07:51 PM
Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO
I had a strange day, does it show....

Jargo, I think I'm going to make you some cocoa (with marshmallows and LOTS of Rumplemintz), steer you over to the sofa and turn on a nice French movie for you. :D:p

Sounds like you've had a helluva day. :crazed:

Kidhuman
05-09-2003, 08:21 PM
That story is idiotic. What makes them think a monkey would be able to type anything without knowing the language first? How in the world is this supposed to be news. We should track down the people responsible for this calamady and deficate on them. Who's with me?

2-1B
05-09-2003, 11:52 PM
Sorry Jonna,
I just got off the phone with Hank's agent, he's busy filming the sequel to Monkey Shines
(" 2 Monkey 2 Shined - Hanky Panky")
so he won't be available until midsummer. :(

Dar' Argol
05-10-2003, 03:14 AM
Didn't think I'd let this go for long, not didja??? he he he!! Managed to break out of my cell for a bit and got away from that stinkin movie crew! Do you know what they wanted me to do!?!?!?! Eck!!! Anyway!


Originally posted by kidhuman
That story is idiotic. What makes them think a monkey would be able to type anything without knowing the language first? How in the world is this supposed to be news. We should track down the people responsible for this calamady and deficate on them. Who's with me?

How does a monkey, like me, type anything without knowledge of the Language??? Why condtioning my young Homosapian, condtioning. As a matter of fact I have not idea what the heck I am typing right now. I have just received enough electrical shocks every time I don't hit the right key that this is just an automated responce. I have no clue really what I am hitting these keys for. This has taken years to perfect and . . . . wait a moment,

ZIIIIIIIIIPP

Ahh, better, just felt the need to fling something, he he he. Oh! I mean, lots of electrical shocks. This entire speach has . . . . . . . Awwww heck! Your not buying it anymore are you???


















































Ummmm . . . . .. has anyone seen Hank around here. Someone told me he escaped a little bit ago, and I'd really wouldn't like him running around the forums causeing amuck.


AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! AMUCK! :D :D :D :D :D