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stillakid
05-13-2003, 01:23 AM
So, how did Vader go to the loo? I can't get this image out of my head of Darth, pants pulled down to the boots, newspaper opened up in classic old man position.:rolleyes:

Exhaust Port
05-13-2003, 08:49 AM
I think you mean the classic Thinking Man position. :D

The question is how much of him is machine. Perhaps he only needs a small amount of food to keep the human part alive and has some sort of build in machine that takes care of the waste.

It's one of those SW questions that will never be answered I'm afraid. :)

bobafrett
05-13-2003, 09:08 AM
For that matter, where did Luke go on Dagobah? R2-D2, the original porta potty!!

The toilets were a might bit cold on Hoth.

scruffziller
05-13-2003, 09:26 AM
That would be cool to just plug into something and relieve yourself.

stillakid
05-13-2003, 09:30 AM
Originally posted by scruffziller
That would be cool to just plug into something and relieve yourself.

Hmmm, that's called a ......

uh, better not.;)

The Overlord Returns
05-13-2003, 11:57 AM
I'm telling you.....standard issue imperial Colostomy bag.....

Jargo
05-13-2003, 02:26 PM
Water waste recycling like the Fremen use in their stillsuits. You go in the suit and the waste is cycled through filters and comes out as drinkable water at the other end. Same principle as what Kevin Costner did in Waterworld (which has been proven by science to be an accurate depiction of the process) Vader does number ones in his suit via some kind of catheter and it's recycled. Simple. What's not so simple to do is number twos. For that you'd need a large treatment pack with complex chemical compounds to break down the matter. Perhaps that's why vader wears big pants. That isn't a codpiece it's big poopy pants. with anti-odour charcoal filters built in. They just shove a hose down his pants once a day and hoover away.

Question is, of all the things you could think about regarding SW you had to pick this one? :p

stillakid
05-13-2003, 09:29 PM
Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO
Question is, of all the things you could think about regarding SW you had to pick this one? :p

Seriously, what's left that we haven't rammed into the ground?:sur:


:D

Deoxyribonucleic
05-13-2003, 09:32 PM
Originally posted by The Overlord Returns
I'm telling you.....standard issue imperial Colostomy bag.....

No wonder he had to take his helmet off in Empire, it gets real stinky in that suit of his!

Arrrrrrrr :Pirate:

stillakid
05-13-2003, 09:32 PM
Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO
Water waste recycling like the Fremen use in their stillsuits. You go in the suit and the waste is cycled through filters and comes out as drinkable water at the other end. Same principle as what Kevin Costner did in Waterworld (which has been proven by science to be an accurate depiction of the process) Vader does number ones in his suit via some kind of catheter and it's recycled. Simple. What's not so simple to do is number twos. For that you'd need a large treatment pack with complex chemical compounds to break down the matter. Perhaps that's why vader wears big pants. That isn't a codpiece it's big poopy pants. with anti-odour charcoal filters built in. They just shove a hose down his pants once a day and hoover away.

VADER
Luke, help me take this mask off...

LUKE
But you'll die!

VADER
Just for once, let me look at you with my own eyes.

Luke peels off the mask. His face instantly cringes at the odiferous stench that wafts out of the suit.

LUKE
EEwwwch! Christ Almighty Pops! No wonder you've been so pee o'd all these years.

JediTricks
05-14-2003, 08:50 PM
1) I am fairly confident we've already discussed this in the past 6 months here.

2) Vader's codpiece has a door right in the middle.

3) Where's the bathroom on the Falcon? We've seen most of the interior already, but no loo. Granted, this ship is one of mystery since the exterior is much smaller than the interior, but still... they gotta go somewhere! ;)

stillakid
05-14-2003, 10:17 PM
Originally posted by JediTricks
1) I am fairly confident we've already discussed this in the past 6 months here.
See what I mean?! Not only have we talked about everything already, but we've talked about it TWICE! :crazed:


Originally posted by JediTricks
2) Vader's codpiece has a door right in the middle. Almost a funnier image...Vader saddled up to the urinal. Now does he get his own "executive" key or does he whizz next to the other officers and enlisted men?


Originally posted by JediTricks
3) Where's the bathroom on the Falcon? We've seen most of the interior already, but no loo. Granted, this ship is one of mystery since the exterior is much smaller than the interior, but still... they gotta go somewhere! ;) Ever see Pleasantville?

Darth Jax
05-14-2003, 11:02 PM
it all revolves around the three sea shells and knowledge of their usage.

JediTricks
05-17-2003, 01:54 AM
I knew it! Darth Vader is Sylvester Stallone!!! That explains it all perfectly! Yeah... that's the ticket.


Nope, never saw Pleasantville, but it sounds kinda... nice. :D ;)

TheDarthVader
05-19-2003, 02:06 PM
I have the answer. You know the "meditation" chamber we see in ESB? Yes, that is the toliet. The toliet is one of the best places to think and meditate, IMO. Meditation chamber=toliet That is why Needa gulps when he enters, the stinch is awful! Vader takes the helmet off because he lost his sense of smell anyway, and it is a duel relief thing. Using the potty, and letting the skin on his head "breathe". :)

Fulit
05-22-2003, 09:18 AM
Originally posted by EMPEROR JARGO
Vader does number ones in his suit via some kind of catheter and it's recycled. :p

So does his "catheter" then run straight through built-in suit filters and to the "drinking tube in his helmet? Or does he go plug up to a wall to release "recycled" water, like a Winnebago?

Arrogant Arse
05-22-2003, 02:42 PM
It is probably like in a Winnebago. Someone, usually one of the lower ranked officers, has to go empty it once a day! (which is the real reason the officers are scared of him!)

RooJay
05-22-2003, 05:09 PM
Also...what if he sneezes? He might not have some of the other other parts one would normally associate with those...other functions, but he does still have a nose! He may have built in mechanics to deal with Sith poopies and pee-pees, but what if he gets a tickle in his nose? Worse yet, what if he were to become nauseous for some reason or other? Is there some kind of quick release dealie on his mask in case of instances like that, or does his helmet fill-up until he gets a chance to empty it?

Ewww!:eek:

Darth Jax
05-22-2003, 09:54 PM
originally posted by JediTricks
I knew it! Darth Vader is Sylvester Stallone!!! That explains it all perfectly! Yeah... that's the ticket.


lucas will be adding the yell of 'Padme' as vader hurls palpy down the shaft in ROTJ for the extra-special editions. as well as a scene of richard crenna trying to talk anakin away from the dark side early in ANH.

stillakid
05-22-2003, 10:34 PM
Originally posted by RooJay
Also...what if he sneezes? He might not have some of the other other parts one would normally associate with those...other functions, but he does still have a nose! He may have built in mechanics to deal with Sith poopies and pee-pees, but what if he gets a tickle in his nose? Worse yet, what if he were to become nauseous for some reason or other? Is there some kind of quick release dealie on his mask in case of instances like that, or does his helmet fill-up until he gets a chance to empty it?

Ewww!:eek:

Good point! :eek: When the mask came off in ROTJ, there didn't seem to be any suction tubes hooked up to his old factory. ;) I suppose that runny stuff just kinda trickled down, dried up, and flaked off those many long years. No wonder he was always P.O.d. He wasn't evil afterall. Just misunderstood.:(

JediTricks
05-22-2003, 10:54 PM
Let's face it folks, the Sith don't vomit or have runny noses or go to the bathroom, they use their Dark Side powers to suppress these things - this is what makes them so angry all the time. :evil:

:D ;) :crazed:

Rogue II
05-23-2003, 06:31 AM
My theory is that midichlorians are hungry little parasites. They consume any waste that their host makes. Palpatine aparently doesn't eat enough, so in the years between Episodes 2 and 4, those little buggers start to digest him, making him pale and wrinkled.

Vader and Palpy would have benefited from taking some time off and spending some time in the Imperial Tanning and Spa Facility, then having a good meal at T.P.I.Fridays.*





*- Thank Palpatine Its Fridays Resturaunt;)

stillakid
05-23-2003, 10:05 AM
Originally posted by Rogue II
My theory is that midichlorians are hungry little parasites. They consume any waste that their host makes. Palpatine aparently doesn't eat enough, so in the years between Episodes 2 and 4, those little buggers start to digest him, making him pale and wrinkled.

Vader and Palpy would have benefited from taking some time off and spending some time in the Imperial Tanning and Spa Facility, then having a good meal at T.P.I.Fridays.*





*- Thank Palpatine Its Fridays Resturaunt;)


Hmm, you may be on to something....


From the Prologue to Star Wars, A New Hope. Written by George Lucas...So it was with the Republic at its height. Like the greatest of trees, able to withstand any external attack, the Republic rotted from within though the danger was not visible from outside.

RooJay
05-24-2003, 03:16 PM
Wow! I hadn't thought of that! I guess the little guys would need something to eat! Hey! Maybe that's how Jedi's manage to get away with wearing the same clothes day after day - midichlorians must feed on biological wasted products! Hmm...would that include sweat too, I wonder?

Exhaust Port
05-29-2003, 12:23 PM
Then wouldn't Darth Vader's Midichlorian power be decrease by the fact he's mostly a machine then?

Rogue II
05-29-2003, 02:14 PM
Originally posted by Exhaust Port
Then wouldn't Darth Vader's Midichlorian power be decrease by the fact he's mostly a machine then?

Well, his midichlorian count was off the scale...;)

Now, it depends exactly what they mean by that. Are they measuring midichlorians as parts per million(ppm) per unit of blood or are they counting every midichlorian in his body? I assume they go with ppm since Qui-Gon used a blood sample to measure. If they go by midichlorians as ppm of the blood, losing an arm or a leg really won't effect how many midichlorians are in any given drop of blood. Yes, it obviously would lower his total midichlorian count.

Which brings up a good question: How much of Vader is man, and how much is machine? For my theory to hold true, Vader's digestive track needs to be somewhat intact. It's been a real long time since I took biology, but, I figure it is since in order for Vader to use the crapper, he needs some sort of food intake.

Bottom line: I don't know because I didn't think the whole thing through. I was making a joke while in the process of trying to explain midichlorians and how Vader uses the john.:crazed:

stillakid
05-29-2003, 03:34 PM
Originally posted by Rogue II
Well, his midichlorian count was off the scale...;)

Now, it depends exactly what they mean by that. Are they measuring midichlorians as parts per million(ppm) per unit of blood or are they counting every midichlorian in his body? I assume they go with ppm since Qui-Gon used a blood sample to measure. If they go by midichlorians as ppm of the blood, losing an arm or a leg really won't effect how many midichlorians are in any given drop of blood. Yes, it obviously would lower his total midichlorian count.

Which brings up a good question: How much of Vader is man, and how much is machine? For my theory to hold true, Vader's digestive track needs to be somewhat intact. It's been a real long time since I took biology, but, I figure it is since in order for Vader to use the crapper, he needs some sort of food intake.

Bottom line: I don't know because I didn't think the whole thing through. I was making a joke while in the process of trying to explain midichlorians and how Vader uses the john.:crazed:

I tried to work through this problem before. IT all boils down to where those little buggers come from in the first place. We have to assume that they are part of the fathers biological material and thus are passed on to the egg via the sperm. We know that they aren't part of the DNA as they are supposedly a symbiotic separate lifeform, so somehow, someway, they hitch a ride on the fastest sperm this side of the Mississippi. Once inside the stronghold, they must divide reproduce themselves as the host organism grows. In time, they are a part of every cell in the body. So when an arm gets hacked off, there goes nearly 20% of the Midichlorian potential in that organism. Lop off another body part and the total potential goes down again. The result would be that even someone who is supersaturated with the lil' buggers to begin with would eventually only be just as good as the guy that sweeps the floors. That is, unless the Midi's figure out what's going on and oversaturate the remaining body parts to make up for the loss of real estate.

In any case, we could also expect some Midi's to be lost everytime the host takes a dump as they invariably would be a part of the digestive juice process. Same with sex and spitting. Cleaning out the earwax would result in a loss as well. Also cutting those persistent fingernails would send Midi's flying all over the WC. It'd be a Midi nightmare. :crazed:

Exhaust Port
05-29-2003, 03:38 PM
Why can't someone "dope" their blood with extra Midichlorians to increase their Force control? This is the reason that I didn't like the fact that a physical substance is responsible for someone's Force ability. As soon as you do that it opens up the forum for questions like this.

stillakid
05-29-2003, 04:05 PM
Originally posted by Exhaust Port
Why can't someone "dope" their blood with extra Midichlorians to increase their Force control? This is the reason that I didn't like the fact that a physical substance is responsible for someone's Force ability. As soon as you do that it opens up the forum for questions like this.

EXACTLY! This is why I've said from the beginning that there are a myriad of better ways to tell the audience that lil' Jake has Force potential, none of which would open up this can o' worms.


A wise man told me that if you reach for the middle, you'll get it every time. In 1977, George dared go where no one had gone before, both in terms of genre and technical ability. He reached for the top and grabbed it successfully. Some 25 years later, he's grown lazy, or uninterested, or something. :cry:

Kidhuman
05-29-2003, 08:06 PM
You'd be angry too if you were constipated for 20+ years. Why do you think he breathes so heavy. It stinks and his sinuses are clogged.

Rogue II
05-29-2003, 09:51 PM
[i] It'd be a Midi nightmare. :crazed: [/B]

Or at least A Midi-Summer Night's Dream.;)

bobafrett
05-30-2003, 12:32 AM
Originally posted by kidhuman
You'd be angry too if you were constipated for 20+ years. Why do you think he breathes so heavy. It stinks and his sinuses are clogged.

Are you talking about Darth Vader or George Lucas?

JediTricks
05-30-2003, 03:39 AM
See folks, this is why I consider Qui-Gon's explanation of midiclorians to be faulty (that, and nobody else in the TPM/SW universe actually directly backs him up on his main theory about them). IMO, unless Ep 3 says different, QGJ was wrong about midis and "the living force" mumbo-jumbo, midiclorians are not creatures that create the Force, they're a byproduct of the user's ability to use the Force. A midiclorian count is like a blood test looking for an infection: more white blood cells means there's an infection, more midiclorians means the person is able to tap into the Force more.

Arrogant Arse
05-30-2003, 10:44 PM
Originally posted by stillakid
Once inside the stronghold, they must divide reproduce themselves as the host organism grows. In time, they are a part of every cell in the body. So when an arm gets hacked off, there goes nearly 20% of the Midichlorian potential in that organism. Lop off another body part and the total potential goes down again. The result would be that even someone who is supersaturated with the lil' buggers to begin with would eventually only be just as good as the guy that sweeps the floors. That is, unless the Midi's figure out what's going on and oversaturate the remaining body parts to make up for the loss of real estate.

Wouldn't it all be relative to the size of the actual body as a whole? Say arm = 20% of the body with 20% of total Midiclorians. Arm gone= 80% of prior Midiclorians in 80% of prior body. I mean there'd be no Midiclorians in a mechanical arm, would there? The rest of the body would still be super saturated. In the non-SW Universe, it is the nerves that send an electrical impulse to a muscle to make it move. Wether a muscle is real or mechanical, an impulse still goes. It would just go faster on someone with more relative Midiclorians. Somewhat like an diode. More power(midiclorians) means diode (arm) activates quicker.:confused: :eek: :crazed:

stillakid
05-31-2003, 12:06 AM
Originally posted by Arrogant Arse
Wouldn't it all be relative to the size of the actual body as a whole? Say arm = 20% of the body with 20% of total Midiclorians. Arm gone= 80% of prior Midiclorians in 80% of prior body. I mean there'd be no Midiclorians in a mechanical arm, would there? The rest of the body would still be super saturated. In the non-SW Universe, it is the nerves that send an electrical impulse to a muscle to make it move. Wether a muscle is real or mechanical, an impulse still goes. It would just go faster on someone with more relative Midiclorians. Somewhat like an diode. More power(midiclorians) means diode (arm) activates quicker.:confused: :eek: :crazed:

Let's take some hypothetical numbers for a second. Let's also assume that the Midi count is static, meaning that no new ones appear and none are crapped out or fall off or anything.

So let's say that a normal human body has 100 Midichlorians dispersed throughout it. If we break the body down into quadrants, we'd have 6...2 arms, 2 legs, 1 head, 1 torso. So 100 divided by 6 is about 16 and change. So each quadrant gets 16 Midichlorians. If one of the quadrants goes, then that human now only has about 84 Midichlorians to his name. Lop off another part and the total again decreases by another 16. And so on.

So lets also assume that the "normal" Midi count for a non-Force user is, say, 32 (to make the math easier). Eventually, if the formerly supersaturated human (with 100 Midi's) gets enough body parts chopped off, his overall count will get closer to that of the normal guy who cleans the Imperial john. Not only that, but if the dismembered human gets mechanical replacement parts, those new parts aren't organic so they won't properly house and feed any new Midi's that might be born or be flown in from the House O' Midichlorians.

So let's now say that Vader has lost both legs and both arms. Using our hypothetical numbers, he now is operating with a total of only 36 Midichlorians. Not only is he now only slightly "better" at communicating with the Force than Carl the Doorman, but his remaining Midi's also have to work up to 60% harder to run both the organic parts (head and torso) and the new mechanical nuts and bolts (by helping to "control" the nerve synapsis, et al)

That all assumes that Midi's don't reproduce at all.

But, that's all assuming that this independent symbiote lifeform managed to hitch a ride on papa's sperm in the first place...something that makes absolutely NO sense in any rationale.

So, these things CAN'T be hereditary just by using the logic as described in the movies themselves. Even using JT's Force Exhaust Theory doesn't fully explain away all the incongruities, for if that was the case, then, once again, anybody would be able to use the Force and get good at it (which this heredity thing in TPM refutes).

So once again, we see that either the OT is right or the Prequels are right. They have mutually exclusive information and both cannot be correct at the same time. No opinions involved here. Just looking at the facts as laid out in plain English in the films themselves.

2-1B
05-31-2003, 01:32 AM
stillakid,
I'm not a biologist :D but this sperm issue is of no concern to me.
If midichlorians exist within all living cells, then they are already present in sperm as well as female eggs. There is no concern about the midichlorians "hitching a ride" :crazed: on a sperm or anything like that.

Anakin is ripe with midi-goodness so it makes sense that his sperm share that high midichlorian count. And since these things reside within all living cells, there are some living in Padme's eggs as well. Since Padme is nowhere near Anakin in terms of Force ability, her eggs have a much lower "count" than his sperm. There's no question of where they come from during the reproduction process - they are there all along. :)

As for the question El Chuxter raised: well if they refer to midichlorian counts in overall quantity within the body, then of course the person would be less "able" as a result of amputations. However, I look at it in terms of midichlorian concentration since Qui-Gon said something about how "his cells have the highest concentration of midichlorians I've seen in a lifeform." So no matter how big or small a person is (Yoda for example) what matters is not a total number of midichlorians within the body but rather the concentration number within each cell.

Yoda is a little guy with a high count. Hypothetically, that giant Sando Aqua Monster outside Otoh Gunga could very well have more midichlorians than Yoda just because it's sooooooooo huge. It doesn't matter though because Yoda has so many more midichlorians within each particular cell.

At least, that's my understanding of the matter. :)

JediTricks
05-31-2003, 04:39 AM
Originally posted by stillakid
Even using JT's Force Exhaust Theory doesn't fully explain away all the incongruities, for if that was the case, then, once again, anybody would be able to use the Force and get good at it (which this heredity thing in TPM refutes). Not at all, the ability to use the Force could be a birth defect or a semi-non-random evolutionary step in a small number of beings thus excluding the general populace from its use.

Obi-Wan's comment about the concentration of 'em in Anakin's and Yoda's blood dictates that it's not a 1-to-1 ratio of midis to living cells. Therefore no matter whether QGJ is right or wrong about midis, people are either born with raw ability to use the Force or not, and those that are can be graded on a sliding scale of ability (which my "Force-ability byproduct" theory would reinforce - if they show up in your bloodwork, it indicates you are a Force-user and producing these midis and the more of them built up in your cells, the more adept you are with the Force).

Rogue II
05-31-2003, 08:48 AM
I don't think body mass has anything to do with it. Why? Yoda. He is more "powerful" that most of the Jedi's that are 3 times his size.

stillakid
05-31-2003, 04:58 PM
Gddmmit, somebody get George on the horn to straighten this mess out! :mad:


And while you're at it, somebody check on Vader. He must've fallen in by now.

Rogue II
05-31-2003, 09:02 PM
Do you think George ever thought anyone would be talking about things like this?:D

Speaking of bathrooms....how many different types of bathrooms do you think they needed in the Mos Eisley Cantina?:crazed:

2-1B
05-31-2003, 09:30 PM
How do midichlorians go to the bathroom ? Do they produce waste ? :D

Kidhuman
05-31-2003, 10:42 PM
Was there yellow snow in the Wampa cave?

2-1B
05-31-2003, 11:01 PM
And what about that space slug ? What happened when THAT thing had to use "The Watercloset" ? :D

Rogue II
06-01-2003, 07:51 AM
Originally posted by Caesar
And what about that space slug ? What happened when THAT thing had to use "The Watercloset" ? :D

Well, not everything floating in that asteriod field were asteroids.;)

Kidhuman
06-01-2003, 07:58 AM
What about Boba or Jango. Slave 1 was a small ship compared to others. Maybe there was a space Mickey D's somewhere?

stillakid
06-01-2003, 12:13 PM
Originally posted by Caesar
How do midichlorians go to the bathroom ? Do they produce waste ? :D

They crapped out a Star Wars movie. ;)



...or maybe it was the other way around.

stillakid
06-01-2003, 12:16 PM
Originally posted by kidhuman
What about Boba or Jango. Slave 1 was a small ship compared to others. Maybe there was a space Mickey D's somewhere?

I'm no astronaut, but I'd wager that a smaller vessel like that would have a kind of "outhouse" design. Not that the occupants would go outside :rolleyes: , but they would do their business, then the results would drop into a separate airlock chamber. Either immediately, or when it was full, the system would jetison the prize package out into the cold expanse of space where it would freeze and float around until the end of time. Timeless poo. Charming thought.

Kidhuman
06-01-2003, 07:26 PM
Maybe they had empty soda bottles or something. Did they have seperate bathrooms for men and women? Were there urinals? Handicapped stalls? Here is one....What did they do if they ran out of toilet paper in hyperspace?

Rogue II
06-02-2003, 09:05 AM
They could just stick their butt outside of the airlock and that will clean it off real good.

What about Yoda? In the Jedi Council executive washroom, his urinal must have been on the floor. The on Dagobah, I know dang well he didn't have 20 years of toilet paper with him. That's a long time to go without t.p.

Kidhuman
06-02-2003, 07:24 PM
Originally posted by Rogue II
What about Yoda? In the Jedi Council executive washroom, his urinal must have been on the floor. The on Dagobah, I know dang well he didn't have 20 years of toilet paper with him. That's a long time to go without t.p.


Well it was one of those urinal built into the floor. And on Dagobah there was plenty o' leaves.

2-1B
06-02-2003, 08:19 PM
Just don't use the wrong leaves ! :eek:

Leaves of three . . . let them be . . . ;)

Rogue II
06-02-2003, 09:19 PM
I think Yoda was looking for toilet paper when he was digging through Luke's stuff. Yoda was acting like Beavis when he does his Cornhollio thing. T.P. for my bunghole, I need, yes, hmmm?

stillakid
06-03-2003, 12:01 AM
Originally posted by Rogue II

Speaking of bathrooms....how many different types of bathrooms do you think they needed in the Mos Eisley Cantina?:crazed:

Honestly, this would be an extremely interesting "Technical Journals" topic. Maybe one of those Incredible Cutaways books done for the Cantina. It would make some fun reading the next time your dropping the kids off at the pool. ;)

Deoxyribonucleic
06-03-2003, 12:39 PM
Originally posted by stillakid
dropping the kids off at the pool. ;)

ROFLMAO!!!

Only on SSG would someone else know that saying, I love it!!!

Stilla, you stilla-maze me alla the tima! :D ;)

2-1B
06-03-2003, 01:00 PM
LOL, "dropping off . . . " :D