View Full Version : Revenge of the Return of the Son of...TOP TEN LISTS

Eternal Padawan
05-26-2003, 09:58 AM
And behold there was a thread (http://www.sirstevesguide.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=194) that didst get closed! And the Supreme Being said Verily! Thou shalt gripe in multiples of Ten! And it was done.

Top Ten crappy toy lines clogging up the shelves.

10. Zoids
9. Justice League from Mattel
8. Barbie (what's with all the pink?? Seriously...)
7. Wrestling figures.
6. Power Rangers.
5. M.U.S.C.L.E.
4. Stikfas
3. Beyblades
2. Naknaks

05-26-2003, 10:28 AM
Originally posted by Eternal Padawan
4. Stikfas

Hey! I happen to like Stikfas.



05-26-2003, 11:25 AM
Top Ten things todo on a holiday

10. Sleep
9. Watch Tv
8. Make a list of things to do on a holiday
5. Take a nap
4. Watch more TV
3. Talk with neighbors
2. BBQ
and number 1.........................


Eternal Padawan
05-27-2003, 06:50 AM
Top Ten decades of the 20th century.

10. The 1930's (depressions suck. :mad: )
9. The 1950's (Boo! McCarthyism! Hiss! :mad: )
8. The 1900's (nothin' to do...nothin' to do...)
7. The 1910's (slightly less than nothin' to do...)
6. The 1960's (semi groovy, but VietNam was a total bummer killjoy, man)
5. The 1990's
4. The 1920's (The roaring twenties! Yeah! :) )
3. The 1970's (Hey. Star Wars emerged in the 70's. Deal.)
2. The 1940's (WWII. America kicks some serious tush!)

and the number one decade...

1. The 1980's. The decade of my formative years. :D Empire Stirkes Back. Transformers. Started collecting comics. Lost the ol' virginity....

05-27-2003, 07:48 AM
Top Ten things you NEVER want to get caught doing...

10. Sleeping at work
9. Putting tape on the bottom of someone else's optical mouse
8. Watching Dr. Phil with interest
7. Drinking a Wine cooler.
6. Looking at Hot Wheels
5. Speeding
4. Letting one go in an elevator
3. Tripping on carpet
2. Hiding Hard to find Star Wars figures behind other toys

and the number 1 thing you NEVER want to get caught doing... singing Careless Whisper at the top of your lungs while driving down the highway.

The 'Xir
05-27-2003, 10:27 AM
Top Ten reasons to complain in the first place:

10. Your Parents won't leave you alone!

9. Your friends would be better as enemies!

8. Your pants are down, and you just realized theirs no toilet paper!
7. The guy next to you on the freeway, has a much better car than yours! (and is driving it 20mph slower than you!)
6. We go to school...why?
5. We go to work again...why?
4. Your bills out total your party expenditures!
3. Someone stole your ____<--(add drug of choice)
2. One word: Girlfriend

and the #1 reason to complain in the first place is..:

1. Just because you can!!! :D

Rogue II
05-27-2003, 10:52 AM
Top 10 mose usefull Lines in the Star Wars Saga:

10. Anything by by Greedo (ANH)
9. "I got a bad feeling about this"(TPM)
8. "I got a bad feeling about this"(ATOC)
7. "I got a bad feeling about this"(ROTJ)
6. "I got a bad feeling about this"(ESB)
5. "I got a bad feeling about this"(ANH)
4. Rwoooowarr!!! (Chewbacca)
3. Yub Yub! (Ewok)
2. Utinni! (Jawa)

And the most usefull line in Star Wars....

1. GONK!

El Chuxter
05-27-2003, 11:31 AM
Top ten Grimlock lines:

10. "Raaaaaaaaarrr!!"

9. "Grimlock munch metal!"

8. "Me Grimlock say you full of beryllium baloney!"

7. "No! Me Grimlock say destroy them!!"

6. "Me Grimlock not care about windshield wipers! Get to good part of story!"

5. "Me Grimlock. Bad-@$$!"

4. "Me Grimlock not nice dino! Me Grimlock king!"

3. "Me, Grimlock stronger than Optimus Prime!"

2. "Grimlock kick butt! Ooooh, me Grimlock need new strategy!"

1. "Grimlock want know: fish or chicken?"

Top ten coolest Transformers lines not by Grimlock:

10. "May your luster never dull and your wires never cross." [Traditional Autobot blessing, TF vol 1]

9. "I don't know you, stranger, but I feel a strange connection to you. Perhaps together we could rule the universe!" [Megatron to Galvatron, TF vol. 1 #78]

8. "We are Primus. We are Prima. We are Prime Nova. We are Sentinel Prime. We are Optimus Prime. We are Thunderwing!" [The Matrix, TF vol 1, #60-something]

7. "No one summons Megatron!"
"Then it pleases me to be the first." [Megatron and Unicron, TF:TM]

5. "Open, &@%$ you!!" [Ultra Magnus, TF:TM]

4. "Coronation, Starscream? This is bad comedy!" [Galvatron, TF:TM]

3. "Defeat Unicron! Kill the Grand Poobah! Eliminate even the toughest stains!!" [Wreck-Gar and the Junkions, TF:TM]

2. "It isn't even dented? Oh $#@*! What're we gonna do now?" [Spike Witwicky, TF:TM]

1. "Bah weep grah nah weep ninny-baum!" [universal greeting, TF:TM]

05-27-2003, 02:51 PM
Originally posted by Eternal Padawan
Top Ten crappy toy lines clogging up the shelves.

10. Zoids
9. Justice League from Mattel
8. Barbie (what's with all the pink?? Seriously...)
7. Wrestling figures.
6. Power Rangers.
5. M.U.S.C.L.E.
4. Stikfas
3. Beyblades
2. Naknaks
1. FINGERBIKES! :( First, Stikfas rules! Second, in my area, the line is selling nicely, except for that Fireman figure. Third, Naknak is #1 pegwarming crappy line here.

El Chuxter
05-27-2003, 03:06 PM
Yay! Now that this thread has been moved to "Other," I can post another stupid list without feeling guilty. :D

Top ten reasons not to vote for the otter candidate in the 2004 presidential race

10. The current downward economic trend is a result of otters firing beavers and sending large numbers of them to live on the street.

9. The otter candidate has an autographed picture of Adolf Hitler with an inscription, "Best wishes, buddy. Love, Ady."

8. The otter candidate supports placing Randy from Hasbro in a high-ranking governmental position, possibly making him the Secretary of State.

7. The otter candidate's first name is Gaylord. You don't want to have to hear jokes about that for the next four years, do you?

6. The only previous job experience the otter candidate has is cleaning up elephant poop for Barnum & Bailey's circus.

5. God doesn't like otters.

4. The otter candidate's brother is Rick McCallum.

3. The otter candidate was arrested in March for peeing on the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial.

2. He smells like wee-wee.

1. Bears are better than otters!!

Eternal Padawan
05-28-2003, 06:12 PM
Top Ten Otter rebuttals to the above post.

10. You and what army?
9. So's your old man.
8. I'm rubber, you're glue...
7. So's your old lady.
6. Liar, liar, pants on fire!
5. Your mother wears combat boots.
4. Stinky poopoo head!
3. Oh yeah?
2. NOT!
1. I know you are, but what am I?

Eternal Padawan
05-28-2003, 06:22 PM
Top Ten letters at SSG!

10. E (on the list by attrition; also can be used with #1 and #4 to spell one of my fave pastimes...)
9. O ( It's the first letter in Otter, after all...)
8. V (used in referring to many SW movies: Episode IV, V, VI, etc)
7. D (as in Darth)
6. J ( as in Jedi)
5. W (the only multi-syllabic letter. Hats off!)
4. X (as in mutants and also the Roman Numeral for Ten)
3. :Pirate: (Ahoy mateys.)
2. G (It was banned for a reason...)
1. S! ( As in long live the letter...)

05-28-2003, 06:30 PM
Top Ten excuses wives/girlfriends use when they leave their husbands/boyfriends

10. I'm just not attracted to you anymore.

9. I thought you were going to be a famous rockstar.

8. My girlfriend's go out with other guys, and their husbands/boyfriends don't get jealous.

7. Your Star Wars collection is driving me nuts.

6. I'm sick of you talking about Star Wars on the phone/internet to your freinds.

5. You spend all of OUR money on Star Wars toys.

4. I didn't get to have "girl time" before we got together.

3. It's not you, it's me.

2. You've changed.

1. I fell out of love with you 3 years ago. I just stayed around because my car wasn't paid off yet.

Eternal Padawan
05-28-2003, 06:49 PM
Top Ten comic book sound effects.

10. Tek tek tek. (Keyboard typing)
9. Phut. (Frank Castle with a silencer.)
8. Zzzik. (Cyclops shooting a lock)
7. Fwash. (Jubilee's fireworks)
6. Rrrrip. (Banner's shirt ripping)
5. Schick (Snake-Eyes pulling out his katana)
4. Budda budda. (Frank Castlewithout a silencer)
3. Bamf! (The Blueberry Muffin teleporting)
2. Thwip. (Spidey's webshooter)
1. Snikt. (Wolvie's claws)

05-29-2003, 01:16 AM
Top Ten reasons I haven't had a date in almost a year:

10. I've put on 30 pounds in the last year

9. Dinner date money or New Star Wars figure money (SW wins)

8. My son sleeps on the couch, no where to snuggle

7. When the girl asks what I do for a living, unemployment is not a good answer.

6. I still have pictures of my last girlfriend up in my living room.

5. My bedroom is wall to wall Star Wars toys

4. I dress up as a Stormtrooper

3. I'm still not over Carrie Fishers rejecting me at CII when I asked her out last year.

2. I only have one type of pants, Jeans

And the number 1 reason is..............

1. I spend to much time posting on SSG!!!!

Thank you, Thank you!!!!!! :D

kool-aid killer
06-02-2003, 06:36 AM
Heres my top ten list of toys that suck and are clogging up my local pegs:

10. Muscle MEN
9. Digimon
8. Hulk
7. Scooby Doo
6. Medabots
5. Yugioh
4. WWE toys
3. Beyblades
2. NakNaks (who buys this crap?)

And the worst toy line still holding some pegs down is without a doubt,

1. Power Rangers (how this program is still on the air is beyond me!)

El Chuxter
06-17-2003, 05:53 PM
Top ten zeroes

10. 0
9. 0
8. 0
7. 0
6. 0
5. 0
4. 0
3. 0
2. 0

And the number one zero. . . .

06-18-2003, 03:40 PM
Huh, and I thought the number-one zero was Jay Leno.

06-18-2003, 04:19 PM
What is Christ's name is a NakNak?????

El Chuxter
06-18-2003, 04:32 PM
Originally posted by Lando In My Pants
What is Christ's name is a NakNak?????

Top ten things a NakNak might be

10. A dyslexic can-can dancer
9. A bad Jay Leno routine
8. What you might see after sniffing too many mouse droids
7. The archenemy of Gran Senator Aks Akk
6. A knick-knack gone bad
5. A line of dialogue from Mars Attacks!
4. A sound effect from Marvel's GIJoe comics
3. What a bear makes in the woods
2. What Britney Spears had surgically augmented
1. The start of a type of generally simplistic joke, usually followed with the response, "Who's there?"

Rogue II
06-19-2003, 08:29 AM
What about: "With a NakNak paddy wack, give a dog a bone, this old man came rolling home"

Top 10 U.S. Holidays and Celebrations
10. Mardi Gras: Throw a girl some beads, she'll show you some NakNaks
9. Superbowl Sunday. You can watch a football game between the new commercials.
8. New Year's Day. A necessary holiday because of what happens on...
7. New Year's Eve. An excuse to stay up real late and watch Dick Clark.
6. Labor Day: 3 Day weekend to end the summer
5. Memorial Day: 3 Day weekend to start the summer
4. Thanksgiving: Turkey, Football, and that Adam Sandler song played over and over again.
3. 4th of July: Nothing like celebrating your country's independence by blowing a part of it up.
2. Christmas: presents and lots of food.
1. Birthday: Free stuff just because you're getting older

Teeska Mon Eebon
06-19-2003, 01:15 PM
Thank you El Chuxter I haven't laughed that hard in weeks

Teeska Mon Eebon
06-19-2003, 01:17 PM
Anyways 11 (I know) reasons you prolly hired the wrong party clown

Clown car must be started with breathalizer device.

Keeps screaming, "My name's not BO-zo, it's bo-ZO!"

Props for his "disappearing" trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV.

Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the "Severed Limb" trick.

Didn't bring any balloons, but manages to twist your dachshund into other animal shapes.

Prefaces each trick with, "here's a little number I learned in the joint."

Not exactly the Peewee Herman impression you were expecting.

Wears a T-Shirt that says, "Drug-free since March!"

Only balloon animals he can make are a snake and a "snake on acid."

Business cards include the phrase "From the Mind of Stephen King..."

All the balloon animals are ribbed and lubricated.

Teeska Mon Eebon
06-19-2003, 02:10 PM
Dad's Top Ten Diapering Tips

Mothers prefer diapers with Disney cartoon characters over
those featuring Beavis & Butthead or Itchy & Scratchy.

A clean disposable diaper makes a great snow bonnet.

The Ride of the Valkyries at high volume can soothe
a crying baby during a diaper change.

Diapers don't do well in a compost heap, not even if you
run them through the mulcher first.

Check every trash can in the house daily for dirty diapers,
especially the one in your study.

If you're ever tempted to swear during a 4:00 a.m. diaper
change, turn off the baby monitor first.

For a great diapering experience, fire up Brahms' Lullaby
on every music box, plush toy and baby mobile you've got.

By the time you think to check it, you needn't bother
-- the diaper is always wet.

Don't expect to ever look at peanut butter the same way

Beware the dreaded Fountain of Youth! The kid got me right
in the eye!