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View Full Version : Bathroom Ettiquette: why don't people FLUSH? & which way does the toiler paper roll??



Tycho
09-01-2003, 05:08 AM
OK, let's settle this once and for all!

When you put a new roll of toilet paper on the roll, it's supposed to have the loose end pull down from behind, not pull up from the top!

I mean who puts the TP on backwards like that? A person with no neck? A person with hemmorhoids so bad they can't sit on the seat so they are actually at a full arms distance while they unravel a wad to wipe with?

I mean what are you supposed to do if you are sitting, like a normal person? Whack yourself under the nose with your own elbow? I mean what's the guy in the stall next to you going to start thinking when he hears noises coming from your 'office,' and an "bang" - "ouch" "-darn jerk didn't put it in the right way!"

I mean this does not sound good!


I mean if the stall's not so narrow that you have sidearm distance you can unwind with, you can usually pull out about 3 yards worth by the time you uncramp your arm from that position. So I guess if the guy who put the TP on the roll the wrong way couldn't be so kind, you can be the better man and offer some of your yardage to the guy next to you. I mean it's not expected for you to be sitting there, making a full orchestrated concert of flatulances nobody really wants for anyone to know they did, when you suddenly say "Hey buddy: want some extra paper?" I mean they probably think your cool at first and are offering them the sports page, but when you toss that waddage over the wall, they'll probably realize your stall was one of those improperly serviced prior to your using it. Just in case though, you might want to add that you're as straight as your arm when that thread you pulled unraveled the whole flag. Or if you're not, why not use the material, make a friend, and weave that guy a whole blanket?

Just pray you're not sitting next door to an environmentalist. While you're sitting there thinking about thow you'd like to practice the martial arts on the guy hired by your office to practice the custodial arts, the last thing you want is an anti-logging activist with you in the bathroom, talking to you about killing something. Tempers could get out of hand...

But the aggravation can always start early: are you one of those guys who doesn't flush? I mean what is it with flushing? Why do so many people not do it? Is it some kind of reverence for that unique scent you've created? Heck, why do we have plumbing in there in the first place? A rubber fire hydrant should do the trick. I mean it starts to really stink even if it's just No.1. I mean you know, it's your No1, with the guy before you's No.1, with the guy before him's No.1, with Captain Picard's No.1. I mean do you know what 1+1+1+1+1...+1(x) equals? Well nobody's sure because only the next guy with a serious sinus infection could keep from vomitting from that smell to stay and figure it out. Vomit...and wait a sec here. Is that No.3 or something? When it comes out the wrong end? Well, it doesn't really matter.

People leave their turds floating there -well the ones that can float. I mean you got those banana boats that really just sink - or they're so big, they're going down the pipe like some kind of router or something. Who knows how far down they're actually stretching. Their might be a pearl at the far end that actually's causing that tapping sound you might hear in your plumbing.

But why is it there? Are you proud of your turd or something? Give it a name. Take a picture. Post it on the internet. But don't leave presents for nice people you don't even know. You know what 1+2+3 is? A big mess! That's what it is! Geeze. Have some respect people!

Alright. Maybe you don't want to touch anything in a public bathroom. I can sort of understand that. So use a new piece of tissue to press the flusher lever. I mean you have already hit yourself in the face trying to untangle 10 yards of the stuff. That should be a not so gentle reminder that you've made a first down, now it's time to use one little, extra piece to send what you've passed into the end zone! I put it in sports terms to you because you've probably sat there stinking up the place enough already reading your favorite news section, so right now you don't want another foul after the buzzer! Make sense?

So there's really no excuse not to flush! And please put that toilet paper roll on right - people have enough to worry about like picking their nose before they emerge in public again. They don't want to be tied up with these other issues or come out accidently wearing a paper jacket.

I'm just asking for common courtesy. It will better mankind.

Tonysmo
09-01-2003, 07:51 AM
It is certainly nice to know that with all the things going on in the is world.. THIS is what keeps you up at night..


hee hee.. and I couldnt agree more. well.. with the flushing that is.

as with the TP issue.. Im having trouble understanding. I would not care if it was on the roll facing forward.. backwards.. even off the roll sitting on the commode.. JUST AS LONG AS ITS IN THERE!! that would reeeeealy suck..


heres a question though, In public places.. IE work. unless its a true true I have to or I will explode.. I do not, have not will not use the restroom for anything than #1.. like theres anything else.. but am I the only one? I have worked at my current job now for over 8 months.. Midnights.. so its quiet.. but I have yet to venture into that territory.. and last place of employment was the same.. decent places mind you, not some cracker jack hole in the wall.. but I cannot bring myself to going.. there..

that doesnt make me a defective does it? something about home that just.. well.. makes me want to wait it out.



man... why oh why are we even discussing this??


Thanks again Tycho!

kool-aid killer
09-01-2003, 11:18 AM
I try very hard not to go to use the public restrooms (toilets that is, i have no problem with using a urinal) but just about every day at work i go and sit on a toilet seat at around 6:30 as my unofficial break. I dont use it i just sit there and think about all kinds of things. Unfortunately my restroom of choice usually has one toilet that is clogged up or full of you know what. I too wish people would flush. But i have noticed some things while i have sat. It seems most people hold it until either someone else flushes, someone washes their hands, or turns on the dryer. Whenever a noise comes up people just let them rip. Thats when i bounce from there. And i agree with Tonysmo, why are we discussing this?

dr_evazan22
09-01-2003, 02:02 PM
I'm with ya there Tonysmo! I live close enough that I come home for my lunchbreak. The only time I "sit" at work is a dire emergency when it just won't wait. Furthermore, I work in a huge store w/ restrooms open to emp's and customers. even though it gets cleaned every day, it can get pretty rank in there, so I try not to #1 either.

Kidhuman
09-01-2003, 02:40 PM
Yeah, who cares if the TP is facing North, South , East or West as long as it is there who cares. As for the people leaving floaters, that is just wrong. Public bathrooms are an atrocity. I try not to use them and if I have to I hover. I do not want my butt touching the skeevy nastiness that someone left behind. And I hate, hate finding pee on the seat if it comes to using one. I like to poop in the sanctity of my own home.

EricRG
09-01-2003, 05:36 PM
And I thought I was weird. :rolleyes:

Tycho
09-01-2003, 06:44 PM
Actually, this was meant to be a funny thread making light of a particular annoyance many of us face.

It has somehow turned into a sociological study and a policy thesis on defacation amongst the population.

It should have read as tongue and cheek as the "Do you pick your nose?" thread, but apparently this issue needs examination by cultural anthropologists.

That being said, I reccomend preparring the porcellain throne before employing it.

1) if you have to sit, flush before you use it even if it looks empty. You'll want to avoid that back-splash that happens when you let your payload go.

2) wipe the seat off before you dropthe fanny guard on it. Use some yardage so you don't touch anything.

3) Use two fanny guards if they have them. Make your own with the toilet paper if they aren't at least a 2-star potty with those paper seat covers.

4) read things on the written on the wall to bide your time not thinking about where you are or who else has done what you're doing in there.

It's not very couth to write things on the wall, but when encountering gang graffiti, it's usually helpful to inscribe "The Sith have returned!" to inspire fear. If you're artisitc, Sith or Mandalorian symbolism is usually more stunning and creative than anything these gang members come up with.

Of course there are always the religious scribes that must discuss Jesus or Mohammed in their scribblings all over the wall when there you are with your pants down. "There is only one Lord: Vader - and Lucas was his prophet!" usually works. I'm sure we can convince the FBI that a new terrorist Sith cell is at work in our underworld!

5) meanwhile, please flush when you are done!


If you want to do something obnoxious and mildly entertaining, have supplies like glue or tacks - whatever you'll need - and switch the men's and women's restroom signs. Preferably at a high traffic time, if you can avoid getting caught. Generally, people seeing you do it won't tell. They will think you're an utter moron, but they too will stay and watch the fun after they've used the correct restroom (because they knew).

Adding foaming Draino to all the toilets and urinals could be funny, but it's rather rude and quite messy after the first flush. Just make sure you don't need to use that restroom again for the rest of the day. The bubbles will make a suspiciously wet seat cover as well as make the unwary run to their doctors to see what's going on in their digestive systems to cause them to make foam like there's rabies coming out of their --z.

In any case, the simplest tick is to turn the lights out when you leave. However, and I stress this: please make sure there were no disabled people using the rest room when you do this. It would not be funny. Better yet, if there is at least someone standing, washing their hands, who could easily get to the lightswitch after you turn the lights out, it won't really inconvenience any one, just give them a scare and make them realize (when the lights go back on) that their day, no matter how bad, could have been worse. See: you leave giving people some sense of grattitude versus grief.

But it's really not so funny, so leave that as a last resort if you know you can somehow get someone back who you heard didn't flush!

JEDIpartner
09-01-2003, 07:20 PM
First of all... this is an asinine thread. Secondly... I will only answer that a.) if the toilet paper is too far out of reach due to placement of the roller, the paper should go over the front. If b.) it is NOT... then to the back is fine.

EricRG
09-01-2003, 08:54 PM
Sorry Tycho, but your initial post was FAR too LONG and descriptive to be considered anything but serious.

Tycho
09-01-2003, 11:35 PM
Good tip.

You know, maybe I've just lost it since the days of the Mouse Droid post.

Toilet humor usually works, look at "Dumb and Dumber" or most Jim Carey movies.

But no, you can't really show tone over the internet, so this might've worked at a BBQ (as long as no one was yet eating), but it sure flopped here.

My sincerest interest was to put something funny or light-hearted back into the forums.

Anyone with links to better threads, post them here.

This thread got taken as an angry tirade, and not humor. But I suppose that was funny in its own way though.

Lord Malakite
09-02-2003, 09:42 AM
Yes, public restrooms are quite disgusting. Just be glad they are at least trying to keep theirs contained in the toilet alone. Back when I was in High School we had guys who liked to use their waste as crayons on all the mirrors and doors. :dead:

vulcantouch
09-02-2003, 10:18 AM
after all, if this thred's any indication it's not like they're too Busy :evil:
i don't always flush a urinal cuz, as some have apparently failed to notice, We're In A Drought people. it's a Bathroom, what do you Expect it to smell like, your mama's deodorant?? :p
the real problem is most companies don't bother to design a urinal without built-in splashback. just provide a surface somewhere in the bowl that angles gradually down & away from the shooter. if even a bartender understands the principle of angling the glass under the tap to minimize foam, how hard can this be?
also those urinal pads emblazoned with "say no to drugs" slogans; i'd think if anything would Drive a person to shoot up it'd be the surreal experience of a Proselytizing Toilet :rolleyes:

tych: "it sure flopped here"
-don't you mean "it sure Plopped here"? :D
vt

Anakin2121
09-02-2003, 10:45 AM
I always flush, and I wash my hands after I do a number 2, but usually not after a number 1.
I mean, why should a guy wash his hands after he pees? Normally all he touches are his pants and underwear as he lowers them. And it's not like he pees on his hands. :rolleyes:

As for toilet paper, Tycho, I rather prefer to have it in the "improper" overhand fashion. It's more fun! :p

dr_evazan22
09-03-2003, 01:28 AM
Something I didn't see mentioned is the "courtesy flush". I've used it a few times in public and does seem to help keep the foul stink at bay.

One thing that gives me the foul smellers is Papa John pizza when I eat the peppers they include. Watch out!

InsaneJediGirl
09-03-2003, 06:45 AM
I always flush, and I wash my hands after I do a number 2, but usually not after a number 1.


Remind me not to shake your hand :dead: :p

Anyways,T.P. goes to the back of the roll,if your that lazy to reach it,then you've got some problems.Half the time I dont put it on the roll,the sink counter or on top of the tank works just as well.

Anakin2121
09-03-2003, 09:23 AM
I mean, why should a guy wash his hands after he pees? Normally all he touches are his pants and underwear as he lowers them. And it's not like he pees on his hands. :rolleyes:


So tell me again why you wouldn't shake my hand, ISG. :p

InsaneJediGirl
09-03-2003, 12:17 PM
I have no idea where your underwear has been.You could have scraped it off the dirty floor :p ;)

bobafrett
09-03-2003, 02:39 PM
Well, first off I would like to say that I was taught that the toilet paper was to be placed on the roller hanging over the front, instead of having to reach around the back of the roll. As far as the public restrooms go, I really avoid using them because the paper in the stalls is so thin and it takes forever to get enough paper as you pull one sheet at a time since the paper is so thin and tears so easily.

I've seen some pretty messed up public washrooms in my time, mostly at sporting events and Wal-Marts.

My mom at one time worked at a market research firm, you know, those people with the clipboards who run after you in the mall asking if you'd like to take a survey, or test some product. Well one of the questions she had to ask for one product was how you fold your toilet paper for the all important wipe, do you fold it neatly, or wad it up?

Why am I posting here? I really don't know. Oh dear, oh dear.................

dr_evazan22
09-03-2003, 07:39 PM
IJG- In one sentence you talk about someone being too lazy to reach to the back to get some TP, then in the next you say you don't even bother to put the roll on the, uh..., well, roller. lol

But hey, I do the same thing, kind of. My cats have always played w/ my TP when it's set to roll, tearing it to shreds. To fix the prob I just prop the roll on top of the roller, and no shredded TP yet.

plasticfetish
09-05-2003, 03:43 AM
I was taught that the toilet paper was to be placed on the roller hanging over the front
Exactly! The leading end should be draped elegantly over the front of the roll and if at all possible tri-folded by the rest room attendant. Please remember to tip graciously especially if you've forgotten to flush ... but only after you've washed your hands, regardless of what you have or have not touched.

Tycho
09-05-2003, 04:00 AM
No it should not be! It's supposed to go so the loose piece hangs down from behind so that you pull it towards you while you're sitting on your throne.

Let's take a vote:

down and behind?

or

over and in front?

I say down and behind!

Kidhuman
09-05-2003, 06:55 AM
Over and in front

Anakin2121
09-05-2003, 07:44 AM
Over and in front!

mabudonicus
09-05-2003, 10:29 AM
Well, I tried to let this sucker just sink to the bottom :D
But here it comes again, the classic "nugget" syndrome....
I won't get involved... our washroom is so small and poorly laid out that the roller had to be discarded in order to stop me from losing the use of my knees, as stepping out of our castiron tub usually resulted in taking one of the "arms" right in the kneecap HARD...

Sometimes this leads to the juggle and splash effect, followed by the "standing there wondering if mebbe the world will come to an end and the problem won't exist" kinda moments.... man, I hate that.. even worse when my stupid glasses flip off my head and "cross the stream" MAN, always a bad time for that...

And public restrooms??? I swear, I will never understand... it's like every caretaker of any public restroom has made someone with a really healthy colon and bad aim FURIOUS at some point... I don't know why they're so disgusting... I just try to stay home, it helps....


Worst thing I ever saw and couldn't understand?? Two things actually...
One time, a log standing straight up in the sink (in a small bar, the sink was like a household one)... all I could wonder was how the culprit washed their hands, as there was only one sink....
Another... well, let's just say that the ceilings were around 9 foot, and there was, well, "stuff" actually SMEARED on much of it.... UNBELIEVABLE... Imean, upon seein it, I didn't know whether to.... uhhhh, well, I didn't have a watch, at least....
\m/

plasticfetish
09-05-2003, 10:56 AM
Hahahahaha!

Lord Malakite
09-05-2003, 10:58 AM
I just try to stay home, it helps....

Yes it does. Public restrooms give me nightmares. :stupid:


Let's take a vote:

down and behind?

or

over and in front?

Over and in front. :D

bobafrett
09-05-2003, 02:20 PM
Over and in front.

Oh, and at a party I had, someone decided to use the towels, wall, and shower to wipe with. Not a pretty site, and if I ever see the girl who did it, I'm going to wipe my rear quarters on her shirt!

Tycho
09-05-2003, 02:49 PM
That is really disgusting! How would you know a girl did it, btw?

What is up with people who touch, move feces?

I mean you just don't play with that stuff!



I NEVER throw parties! Go to them, but don't have them. People never respect someone else's house except for friends. Parties start by inviting friends, but always result in people you don't know arriving because they are friends of friends.

I don't want my SW stuff touched or messed with, so I never have parties. Even if I didn't have SW, I wouldn't want to clean up after that kind of mess.

I had parties when I was in high school and I learned my lesson. No feces, but people did throw up. :rolleyes: And they're proud of it, too :confused: "I got so drunk I threw up." Uh-huh. Like that's an accomplishment? I realize nobody wants to talk about school or work at a party, but "I just planned how to vacation in Hawaii" sounds a lot more impressive.

InsaneJediGirl
09-05-2003, 03:16 PM
Down and behind is the preffered way here.

dr_evansan,Yeah,thats just me.Complain then do it my own way :D

bobafrett
09-05-2003, 03:24 PM
That is really disgusting! How would you know a girl did it, btw?



Well, she was the friend of a friend of a former girlfriend of mine. I was sharing this apartment with the former love of my life, and she invited some friends who brought their friends, and there was alcohol. Fortuanatly I didn't have much of my own stuff their since it was an on and off again relationship. Also this was the late 80's or early 90's and my SW collection wasn't all that large back then.

I try to avoid having parties too. I had some friends over at the end of last summer, and we had been at the pool in our bosses backyard just an hour before. We are in my apartment kitchen when one of my coworkers asks where the bathroom was. Next thing I know she is peeing on my kitchen floor. She still was fully dressed, and she was laughing, the harder she laughed the more she peed. Since then I no longer have anyone over if they have been drinking.

Tycho
09-05-2003, 03:38 PM
Let's gather names and addresses and get these people returned to Jerry Springer!

Kidhuman
09-05-2003, 05:20 PM
Dang Boabfrett, you aint got no luck. Your apartment/house sounds like a public bathroom.

One time when myself and sweetrain went to pick up the kids from there dads house, their step-mom told us that Jacob had used the shower curtain for wiping. It took all I could muster not to bust out laughing in her face. Holding it back was bad because she stayed there chatting for a few minutes. But when we finally got in our car me and Angela busted out laughing.

EricRG
09-05-2003, 10:15 PM
I was once at a large campground the night before a Phish show. The show was right next door (Burgettstown, PA) and it was there where I stumbled upon what I consider to be the worst toilet in all of the world. Whilst seeking a place to relieve myself :zzz:, I did find a bathroom. I opened the door, and saw the regular porcelin type bowl...with a literal mountain of "logs" completely filling the bowl and stacked several inches over the top of the rim :eek:. I was astounded :stupid:. I could not imagine someone standing over the pile, aiming, dropping, and hoping it didn't roll off onto one's own foot. I initially was completely reviled :(, but after I got out of there, I think I didn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes :crazed:. I had a camera in my pocket, too. Should have captured that one. And what about the poor schmuck who had to clean that up? :dead: *shudders*

mabudonicus
09-06-2003, 01:15 PM
YIKES!!!!
I've been to a lot of metal shows (heavy metal, not the substance) and some pretty crummy bars wherein I've seen similar "piles", and that is a real good thing to ponder (well, as good as these things get :D).. it's not so much the first or second person that is the problem, logically, it's the last few contributions that really blow the mind.....
And as for washroom\party problems, only ever had one.... a friend ate a huge greasy sub with lots of canned mushrooms, bacon and onions on it, then reproduced it a few minutes later in my BATHTUB... sad thing is, it was x-mas eve.... the next day I awoke to said ingredients coated with bile, barely digested, filling the drain and scattered about the tub.... I threw up a whole bunch trying to clean it up.... what a merry x-mas!!!

plasticfetish
09-06-2003, 03:33 PM
Hmmm ... I don't know just how revolting this thread needs to get, but mabudon's story reminded me of this ...

I have a friend that used to work at the Limelight in New York, back in the '80s. He told me a story about Robin Leach coming in at the end of some kind of nation wide "rich and famous" tour ... the Limelight and their wrap party being the end of the tour. Well, Mr. Leach apparently enters the club and very first thing runs to the rest room (seemingly, this is his first chance since the tour began) where he proceeds to "rest" so much that the plumbing is completely stopped up, overflowing and the room is left totally unusable. This causing the club workers to fight with each other until they determined which one would be lucky enough to clean up Leach's "champagne wishes and caviar dreams."

Another good story from the same source, had to do with Andre the Giant. Seems that Mr. Giant when ever in town frequented one particular hotel, where he had a reputation for (because of his size) using the tub to do his business, instead of the toilet. He was much hated by the hotel staff who frequently had to clean up after him.

dr_evazan22
09-06-2003, 05:37 PM
You guys are keeping me in stitches! Dam these are funny!

I've got one that's not as good, but involves me.

At summer camp, I was about 12. Someone made a big stink about my "big stink" that they knocked over the mirror over the sink (mirror was propped on top of sink). Well, the corner got a little chipped / broken, but mirror was put back.

Well, a few days later I was using sink. I don't know how it happened, but the mirror started to fall. Dumb me, I went to catch it and cut a pretty nasty cut in the webbing between my left thumb and pointer finger, with a scar that lasts to this day.

Tonysmo
09-07-2003, 01:58 AM
ok... so if the roll is behind you.. would you consider that a "reach around"? lol.. sorry had too..



ok ( Wayne n Garth flashback ) diddlleloo diddllelloo.. YEARS ago.. In an apartment a long long time ago... I came home to find a mutual friend on the couch. I walked in, and was greeted with.. " I dont know, its not my fault " NOT the nicest greeting in the world but I said of course. WTF? so he points to the bathroom. He says my roommate had just left a few minutes prior because he had to work.. and left it that way... now.. with the title of this thread, your all thinking, whatta sick roommate.. but NOOOO its BEYOND THAT.

The bathroom door was semi cracked.. so I gave my bud a strange look, and headed for the throne room. I opened the door, and much to my dismay, there was a seemingly nice girl.. naked.. drunk.. sitting in my bathtub.

WHAT WHAT WHAT!??!?!?!

yup. seriously. I of course immediatly closed the door, and with a puzzled look again asked my buddy.. WTF????

apprently she ( not even of age mind you ) ( heck.. none of us were at that time.. ) had come by, gotten smashed, and had well.. somehow ended up naked in my bathroom..

so. I calmly walked in, eyes closed, witha towel, and wrapped her up. got her dressed, and got her out, hoping the powers that be would NOT let this poor girls mother find my apt.. and yes.. that was indeed the last time I ever saw that girl. NO reprocussions. ( whew )

did turn out, the reason she may have undressed was to shower. well.. maybe.. she ended up leaving a nice present in the tub.. Which I promptly ordered my "innocent" buddy to take care of.

17 years later.. I still have yet to get the full story behind the whole ordeal.

I hope she doesnt remember too much from it either... how freakin embarrassing..

bobafrett
09-07-2003, 10:01 AM
Dang Boabfrett, you aint got no luck. Your apartment/house sounds like a public bathroom.



It would seem that, based on the above stories, that I am not the only one who has run into misfortune with their toilets/bathrooms!

Many years ago, I was working as a busboy at a restaurant. I see these to old men shuffling toward the bathroom. I see the one guy looking like he was reaching for his wallet. Anyway, I head back to the kitchen when I get a call. It's the hostess. She say's "Barry, could you come clean this s*** up?". I head up to the hostess stand expecting to find trash, but nope, heres this pile off poop right in the middle of the floor. I ran back to the kitchen and grabbed the broom and long handled dustpan, gagging the whole time I'm sweeping this stuff up.

On the way out, the guy's wife is all embarressed and apoligetic and hands me $5.

Anyone else with tales of bathroom misfortunes?

Kidhuman
09-07-2003, 12:26 PM
Dude, you got no luck when it comes to excretion

Tycho
09-07-2003, 02:17 PM
I've never experienced anything like this and I hope I never do.

That pile sounded like a janitor's worst nightmare. I could not imagine even using that toilet, let alone cleaning it up!

The girl in the tub sounds like she was drunk.