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Greyfolk
10-07-2003, 12:35 PM
We all know that in a dogfight Porkins would tear Wedge apart. But could he do it without a glazed ham sandwich?

:cool:

-Greyfolk
visit: alt.fan.porkins

JEDIpartner
10-07-2003, 03:49 PM
Does this REALLY belong in the "FILMS: Classic Trilogy" section? :confused:

I was really thinking glazed doughnut!

El Chuxter
10-07-2003, 04:42 PM
Mmm. . . doughnuts. (Or donuts if you prefer. :crazed: )

Greyfolk
10-07-2003, 06:57 PM
Does this REALLY belong in the "FILMS: Classic Trilogy" section? :confused:

I was really thinking glazed doughnut!

Hmmm..... good question. I'd say yes. Porkins was the hero at Yavin, and that's a part of the classic trilogy. So discuss, should he have ejected? Where would he have gone if he did?

Put this thread back where it belongs! :p

-Greyfolk

JediTricks
10-07-2003, 11:53 PM
Er... this thread is an "Other" if ever I've seen one. :D

The only thing Porkins could tear apart was his flight suit. If he had ejected, he would have been vaporized when Luke blew up the station anyway. That would make a great scene in the Nifty Edition though, watching Fat Fatty Fatterson drifting in space over the Death Star one second before it blows up with a pie under his ejection mask, then watching him get turned into space-dust when the station explodes. Lucas himself could be the digital body double. :D

mabudonicus
10-08-2003, 09:07 AM
yeah, he could be saying "I'm alright, my suit'll hold til you guys can make the rescue, I sure as heck ain't going anywhere" real ironic-like, right as the scene you mentioned takes place, JT.... that would be pretty funny...

Or in a brand new scene, porkins could get either A- sucked into the falcons intakes during the final attack run or B- spread pie and all ALL OVER the falcon's cockpit window in the rush to flee the doomed station.. ooohhhh, the SUPER SPECIAL EDITION will be awesome indeed!!!

Anakin2121
10-08-2003, 09:38 AM
How would the ejection work, anyway? Would the entire cockpit be blasted off with him in it? He couldn't survive just floating in his seat, as his flight suit wouldn't protect him from outer space.

JEDIpartner
10-08-2003, 11:35 AM
There wasn't force to detonate ol' "Piggy" out of that cockpit as it were. Hasblah made pretty darned sure that you really needed to cram him good and tight into that cockpit... SO tight that it probably would have just blown a hole in the bum of his flight suit! :crazed:

El Chuxter
10-08-2003, 12:24 PM
. . . it probably would have just blown a hole in the bum of his flight suit! :crazed:

Or that could've just been gas. :crazed:

2-1B
10-09-2003, 02:09 AM
:yawwwwwn:

JEDIpartner
10-09-2003, 10:45 AM
"Repulsorlift? That was no repulsorlift jettison! It was definitely an explosive detonation coming from Porkins's cockpit...!"

"I dunno, Red Five... I was pretty repulsed by it."

:crazed:

Anakin2121
10-09-2003, 11:32 AM
I guess Porkins was having too much McDonald's, um, I mean, Bantha Burgers. (tm) :happy:

JediTricks
10-09-2003, 06:38 PM
How would the ejection work, anyway? Would the entire cockpit be blasted off with him in it? He couldn't survive just floating in his seat, as his flight suit wouldn't protect him from outer space.As I understand it, the flight suits are supposed to protect the pilots from outer space... somehow. There's a mask they slap on that fills the open areas of the helmet and the rest of the suit is airtight... Of course, having Porkins freeze to death in space would be funny too. :D

mabudonicus
10-10-2003, 08:42 AM
Yeah, he could freeze to death, then due to his mass he would have gravity, so he would attract heavey particles.... after millions of years, he would be a planet, "planet porkins".... Lando calrissian could time-travel to mine the rich deposits, then bring them back to fight those bug guys or whatever... anyone got Timothy Zahn's number??? This is freakin GOLD!!

Kidhuman
10-10-2003, 08:48 AM
Good one Mabs. Or have Han fly past him in ESB, or have them find him in the giant worm.

JediTricks
10-10-2003, 09:32 PM
Yeah, he could freeze to death, then due to his mass he would have gravity, so he would attract heavey particles.... after millions of years, he would be a planet, "planet porkins".... What happens here is, time being cyclical, he eventually comes back around to the same time frame as when this started, and Planet Porkins has a major battle with IG-88 at the core of the Death Star. :D

mabudonicus
10-11-2003, 08:12 AM
taking both JT and KH's ideas...
porkins could freeze(then the ESB fly-by, and heck, one in ROTJ too, the tydrium could have him thump off its hull), become the planet, lando would mine him and beat the bug guys, then with time being cyclical and all porkins would come around, beat death star II, then go around AGAIN, this time he'd ALSO be NABOO...... Then Naboo would die out, next time around, he's tatooine....
With crafty EU concepts we could make it so that PORKINS was everyone and everything in the whole trilogy's universe.... with the cyclical thing going, WE could even be living on Porkins RIGHT NOW

JediTricks
10-12-2003, 08:55 PM
Porkins is the Force! Midichlorians, the Forcing having a will, Anakin's conception... that explains it all so perfectly!!! :D

Kidhuman
10-12-2003, 11:29 PM
Porkins had too many Midichlorians for dinner.

mabudonicus
10-13-2003, 09:00 AM
gotta love continuity.... Do you wanna sell this to Lucas and split the money????

SW=Porkins?!?! PERFECT!!!!

JediTricks
10-13-2003, 06:02 PM
gotta love continuity.... Do you wanna sell this to Lucas and split the money????

SW=Porkins?!?! PERFECT!!!!
I dunno, I think he'd be bothered by my "Lucas = Porkins" metaphor. ;)