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Bobajames
11-04-2003, 01:09 AM
okay, i want everyone's opinion on this...

I was on my way to the local gas station to buy some cigarettes, it's about two blocks from my house and I live in Atlanta, when a man approached me and started talking to me. He was telling me all these things, little philosophies on the way people act and other such things. He told me that he just got out of jail 17 days ago and got a job last week and is about to move into a little place ten minutes away from where he was. He was in jail because another man tried to rape his eight year old daughter and he broke his legs for trying to take her. He also talked about how much he likes to make friends at that he liked me yadda yadda yadda. What made him seem even more genuine is that about ten kids my age (college students, we were just outside the dorms) stopped and said hey. After talking to the guy for about a half an hour, he seemed to be hinting that if I helped him out by giving him fifteen dollars, we would be friends and all this and that he would pay me back on wednesday plus ten more. I made it clear to him that i had no money with me (I always use my checkcard to buy stuff) but i could get him something from the gas station if he wanted. He had also mentioned that he had the flu from sleeping out on the streets a few nights ago when it was raining. He declined everything i offered, but i still went in to get him something when i finally got in there. i looked for some sort of over the counter flu medicine, but they had none, so i got something that might help, some juice (when you have the flu, you should drink plenty of liquids). I brought it out to him expecting a simple thank you, but what i got was radically different. he said: "man, i don't want no juice man, i need to get something in my stomach," (someone stopped and gave him some chips while we were talking and he told me that everything he had eaten, he was throwing up), he continued, "i'm gonna tell you right now, one day i'm gonna be on top and i'm gonna make it a note to throw something in your face."
Was it rude of me to try and help his flu rather than give him fifteen bucks that i didn't have? am I a snob because i didn't want to contribute to his "human fund (George Castanza)? please, offer your insights, i know that was a long post, but jeez, i am mad right now.

Tonysmo
11-04-2003, 01:42 AM
YOU SNOB!!

You got alot further than i would have. I would have showed him he was #1 and kept walking.. Your not a snob. above and beyond that for even getting him some juice. He would have seen no sympathy from me. Kudos to you.

2-1B
11-04-2003, 02:12 AM
That was a very kind gesture in the face of a probable con man. I applaud your generosity and No that was certainly not snobbish of you.

I understand that there are some genuine people in need of financial help but in today's world they have to understand that approaching strangers on the street is NOT cool. It's unfair because it is so hard to gauge people's intentions. :(

scruffziller
11-04-2003, 03:46 AM
Ditto to all what everybody else said. If this guy was genuine he would have accepted anything, he was just trying to sell you a bill of goods. You were not a snob because this guy was trying to rip you off. I am not sure if you were thinking that but this would be a learning experience to carry into the future. Never give strangers money that you can't part with. I barely trust people that I've known for a while let alone a total stranger.

Tonysmo
11-04-2003, 04:41 AM
next time.. walk up - dont say a word, and give em the Stone Cold Stunner! then get up and keep walkin... that'll teach em!

plasticfetish
11-04-2003, 04:51 AM
am I a snob because i didn't want to contribute to his "human fund (George Castanza)? please, offer your insights, i know that was a long post, but jeez, i am mad right now.
No, you're not a snob. You gave this guy more of a chance than I would have. If you offer to help a stranger ... and they flip out over it, it's probably because they're pulling something. I've been dealing with that ... weirdo walks up and starts babbling, telling stories and talking about needing help and money thing for most of my life. I've lived in and around too many big cities to not be completely immune to it. Man, when I lived in San Francisco there wasn't an hour in the day when I wasn't having to tell some hard luck case to buzz off. Now, even the kids selling (stale and overpriced) candy door to door have to deal with my look of complete annoyance when they come walking up.

In this case ... he probably got more of your time than he deserved.

.
.
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"give em the Stone Cold Stunner! then get up and keep walkin... that'll teach em!"
Hahahahahaha!

LTBasker
11-04-2003, 06:20 AM
He went to jail for non-lethal self defense for his daughter.

Probably not.

I think he was definitely trying to work you over, it's cool you actually bought him something, but if he wouldn't accept it. No, you're not a snob. If you were a snob you would've said something like "with every word you say even though I'm not listening, you could infect me with your flu. Go away. Shoo-shoo."

If you feel suspicious or anything about it anytime, you should probably go check out with the cops about if something is going on. I mean he just got out of jail, ok it happens, but he gives you a pity story then tries to con money. Something could be up.

TeeEye7
11-04-2003, 06:26 AM
I'll bet the guy's name was Lanny......

Bobajames
11-04-2003, 08:25 AM
thanks guys, maybe i should come to you with all my problems... I think I will check it out with the police around the dorms (i don't know why this guy was hanging around college dorms, he's 49...
also, not only did the college kids seem to know him, but all the panhandlers did too. odd.
thanks again

stillakid
11-04-2003, 09:20 AM
I was the standard naive kid moving from the country to the big city about 12 years ago. My first week in LA, I was approached by some kid asking for money. I believed his story (something about bus fare) and gave him a couple of bucks. I was quickly chastised by some seasoned friends about these guys (they populate Santa Monica to prey on tourist types). I'm naturally a very trusting peson and want to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, so it is against my nature to automatically distrust someone's motives. But when it comes down to it, while someone may truly be in need, begging for money from random strangers is not the way to deal with strife. Anyone intelligent enough to deserve your help also should be smart enough to know where to go to get it (local church, shelter, government programs...oh, hey, what about the ol' standby of getting a frickin' job!). I don't want to think ill of people and I was born into life with more advantages than some (though not as much as others unfortunately), but I've worked hard to get where I am to make the money I make. It doesn't take a genious to be successful in life, but it takes dedication and committment. Obviously some of these bums lack both and deserve neither your time nor your money.

bobafrett
11-04-2003, 09:39 AM
Yeah, it sounds like the guy was pulling one over on you. He probably wanted the money for booze, or maybe if he gets enough people to give him money, you'd be paying his rent. I've seen my share of con men in my life. You did more than I would have done, I might have given the guy $1 just to make myself feel better, but $15, no way.

Speaking of con men, nice little story here. I was working at a 7-Eleven, and my boss came in to relieve me after I had worked the late overnight shift. I go punch out, and I'm coming out of the backroom, when I see this guy at the counter wanting to return, not 1, but 2 bottles of cough syrup at almost $8 a bottle. I come around the counter and see this guy is wearing pants that are muddied at the bottom, and looked like something out of the 70's. I knew that this guy had probably ripped the stuff off, so I look outside and I see this other guy whom I had seen in the store earlier parked in his car down at the end of the lot. I walk out of the store getting ready to get a visual on the guys car tags, and the S.O.B. starts backing in a direction to I couldn't read his plates. I acted like I was going across the street, and did manage to get the plate #. By the time I worked my way back to the store, my boss had already given the guy $16 for stuff this second guy out in his car had ripped off, then had the other guy come in and return. Funny thing is, I had the plate, I had my boss call the cops, after telling him that he was stupid for giving the guy the money. We call the cops, and an officer had just let them go after issueing a warning to them for having a tail light out. The officer recognized the plate number, but by the time he had turned around, they had gone. It seems the whole family is known as a bunch of Con artists, and these guys were brothers who were well known by the police.

billfremore
11-04-2003, 10:06 AM
I work in downtown Ottawa and the streets here are just swimming with people begging for change.

I used to give a lot to them but after a while you start to realize that this is how some of these people make a living.

There used to be this guy in front of the shopping centre down here in a wheelchair begging for change and occasionally I would oblige him. That is until I saw him in the same spot every single day and the capper for me was the day I saw him go by me on the street with a discman!

"Yes please spare some change so that I may buy the new Mettalica CD for my Sony discman" :frus:

I've become very jaded towards a lot of them now, but occasionally like this morning I will give some.

kool-aid killer
11-04-2003, 10:44 AM
I remember going to a graduation party a couple of years ago, i was having a hard time finding the house because it was located in a place i rarely visited. A lady came running out of a house telling me she needed money so she could get a taxi ride away from an old man in a wheelchair beating her up. The lady had no bruises or cuts, she just looked like a druggie. I told her i didnt have any to spare but ended up giving her two dollars so she would leave me alone. She was practically inside my car leaning over the window asking for help. I wanted to sock her but that wouldnt have been very nice if she was in trouble, which i doubted.

Ive read in the local newspaper stories about hobbos begging for money. I would help a kind one out with a little bit of money ($2 maximum because anything else and they can afford cigarettes or beer) but for the most part they seem to get real angry if you dont give them enough. I wonder where they get the audacity to curse someone out. Its not like anybody is really obligated to help them. In short, you are not a snob for not giving him the money.

Bobajames
11-04-2003, 02:24 PM
i didn't give him any money. i wouldn't. it is my policy not to give out money except to maybe six people who are close friends and family.
this is an interesting story... this morning i was walking to school and i saw the guy again. i tried to pass by unnoticed, but he saw and started shouting for me. to shut him up, i went to talk to him. he said something to the effect of "i aint mad at ya, im in a real bad spot" yadda yadda yadda...
i told him that i was just trying to help out that flu of his by getting that grape juice to which he replied, "man, no the f*** you wasn't!" and some other assorted words that i couldn't understand (this guy told me he was a human communications major in college, you couldn't tell by listening to him). so i finally had enough and i said, "you know what? i don't need to listen to this s***!" and started walking at me. he screamed after me, "man next time i see you i'm gonna spit in yo mother****** face!" and the other homeless guy he was walking with screamed out "hey man give me a cigarette" over and over again. i was very angry by then and screamed out "NO G** D*** IT!"
and i still had to walk home after classes.
to show that i was a respectable person, i decide that i would apologize to him :rolleyes: and tell him i didn't mean to offend him. i also decided that if he was going to be a ***** about it, i was going to the dorm security office and let them know he was pan-handling (which is illegal i think).
things actually turned out all right, but the next bit of b******* (lots of bad words here) i hear, that ***** is being reported to the police. :evil: i hate (most) people.

scruffziller
11-04-2003, 03:14 PM
Yep that guy definately did not deserve your attention.

billfremore
11-04-2003, 03:25 PM
Yeah definately do not feel guilty at all for that guy.

You tried your best, but some people are just impossible to deal with.

Bobajames
11-04-2003, 03:33 PM
i definitely intend on not conversing with that guy ever again if at all possible.

plasticfetish
11-04-2003, 03:56 PM
Yeah ... geez ... having them hanging around the dorms is a bad scene. I would call the cops first thing. You don't need these guys hanging around hassling and intimidating people ... or worse. They sound like too big of a wild card. Don't argue with them either, you're just creating a kind of relationship. Now they'll be more comfortable with the fact that they can bother you.

Ignore 'em and let the keepers of the peace do their job.

Bobajames
11-04-2003, 04:01 PM
that's what i was thinking, but this is not a normal dorm like in the movies or something. this place is downtown (a pretty ugly part of downtown) and they technically are not hanging outside the dorms, just down the street near the MARTA (atlanta subway) station.

dr_evazan22
11-04-2003, 04:39 PM
I think that maybe I've heard too many stories on the news, but the first thing I consider in that tye it situation is MY safety. I would've just blown him off as best I could. He wants $15? Why $15? My thought is that because most people don't carry around a ten and five. You only ahve a 20? How about I take it all?

I usually find, or I guess feel, that the lnger the story is the more filled with lies.

Kidhuman
11-04-2003, 08:13 PM
Farfrom being a snob. I would not have said one word to him. Aint my fault he is in his perdicament. I appaud you for trying to help him out, but if he didnt want what you offered than kicked to the curb he goes. Just watch out in the future for things flying at your face.

James Boba Fettfield
11-04-2003, 10:33 PM
I use the middle finger to convey my feelings towards people who approach me around here wanting money from me. Just because I come out of the McDonald's/Taco Bell/Wendy's with a bag of food doesn't make me a caring person who wants to give away his money. The Ohio State University is the only thing I'm concerned with giving money to right now.

You tried to be a good person boba, and this guy sounds like too much of a nutcase to appreciate someone trying to help him with a drink when he just wants money to feed his drug habits or some other disgusting habit. I hate beggers!

JediTricks
11-04-2003, 10:41 PM
(they populate Santa Monica to prey on tourist types). Actually, the reasons Santa Monica is so rife with homeless are also because the weather is more climate than LA, the city gives free haircuts and showers to the homeless, the beach areas have a lot of public restrooms, and the mall is conveniently located right at a major business center and the pier for maximum panhandling.

Jargo
11-05-2003, 01:34 PM
I never even look at anyone begging and walk on by. if they're hungry there are soup kitchens. I won't give them money for drugs or drink.
I don't open the door to anyone I don't know. Hawkers and suited salesmen can all go hang for all I care.
Even market researchers in town get the cold shoulder from me.

My advice is that if you want to do something to feel charitable adopt an old person in your neighbourhood. Or give money to reputable recognised charities directly. Never give anything to beggars. Sure they'll cuss you out for not helping them but giving them money isn't help. It's just sending them further into the spiral of oblivion.
You aren't a snob for being taken by the guy Bobajames, it's nice that people still try to help but in cases like that you can't help.
It's a sad sad fact of life that people like that exist in society but you're best off walking away and not even responding to their crys for help, don't even meet their stare.
Homeless shelters cost a lot to run so donations would likely be most welcome, same with soup kitchens and the like.
In the past I've heard of rich folk being trashed for just donating money and not giving a hands on approach to charity but if these rich folks didn't donate then charities would simply cease to exist.
But if you're a student I would imagine you don't have an awful lot of spare cash to go throwing around on bums.
Feel good that you wanted to help and don't feel bad that it was thrown back in your face. It's a life lesson we all have to learn. You won't be so easily duped by a sob story next time hopefully and can call yourself that little bit wiser. So in one respect you have come out of the experience better off. :)

jjreason
11-07-2003, 03:13 AM
You're did the right thing, Man. I wouldn't give money - you might have wound up mugged if you'd flashed him any bling whatsoever (based on the attitude it seems you got at the end). It's noble of you to want to help, and I think most of us are proud of you for offering him anything - but think about your own safety. You definitely wouldn't want him following you home for supper kind of thing. Never know what he might see and want to burgle later.

Yes, as a matter of fact I AM suspicious of everyone all the time. It's safer that way.

mabudonicus
11-07-2003, 10:30 AM
Yeah, ditto to what everyone said..... I would be even worse, I have actually gotten in fights with agressive street-people types (not the real crazy nut-jobs who don't know any better, mind, that I feel for, but just the rude, coarse Lannies with mouths full of profanity)

Our town has lots of them.... muggings are fairly uncommon, but not unheard of.....
Anyone who asks for money on the street corner (specially in high traffic areas) is doing it because it's easy..... I HAVE asked, in the past, for a quarter to use a phone (usually when I actually have a quarter, but the wrong year to make payphones work) or a dime or whatever, but I see that as being totally different... I have a goods sense of what's "real", and if someone were to ask "Hey, I have nothing but 2 dollar coins and I need to use a phone, could I please ask for a quarter??" there is no problem.... any person who attempts to ingratiate themselves in any way is bogus... people who are threatening you and asking for charity are fools, those are the ones I will actually put the boots to if they keep it up, I am instantly confrontational (folks like the "threat beggars" know that they freak people out, so if you turn and get right in their face and start making your own demands they either shuffle off or try to get indignant and mouthier, which is where things get ugly)

Yeah, especially the audacity to ask for 15 bucks.... I wouldn't ask to borrow that much from someone I knew, let alone someone I JUST MET... the guy's bold, at least.

Val Da Car
11-07-2003, 11:37 PM
I have never told this to anyone...oh well internet anamity......

I was making a late night toy run to Walmart (24hrs) and I parked my (Odyssey) mini van next to this Chevy Cavalier. A older woman got out and asked me if I know anything about cars since hers would not start.

I had her pop the hood and everything looked in order but no lights and the car would not start. She said she called a tow truck from a town about 40 miles away where she lived (she did show me her drivers license).

Since she did not have enough money to pay for the tow trip from the Walmart to the car shop by her house, so I was asked for $25.

I thought about it and drove to the nearest ATM and took out only that amount and gave it to her.

She mentioned about her son in college in Minnesota and if I gave her my information for her to pay me back.

She never happened to pay me back or contact me and ever since then I have thought am I a snob or just stoopid.

Well...I have not gotten heartless but I am less open to strangers unless they are injured (I have seen my share of people failing and car accidents) but the rest of the scammers are #1 in my book and can kiss off.

bobafrett
11-08-2003, 02:22 AM
Val Da Car, that reminds me of the time that this lady my sons mom was friends with happened to stop in at the 7-Eleven I was working at. This was about 6 months after me and my son's mom had broken up. Anyway, she's there with her 16-17 year old daughter. Her daughter wanted to write a check, but my boss wouldn't take out of town checks. I went over and withdrew the money from our in store ATM, gave her daughter the money, and had her write the check out to me. I deposit the check, and in the mean time, I pay some bills with her check being deposited in my account. I stopped over to visit this lady friend one night, and we ended up talking, hen kissing for a long time, and she wanted me to stay overnight. It was about 3 am, but I politely declined as we had just met again, and I wasn't ready for that (not to mention, that her oldest kid was 19, and I was maybe 26 years old). I go out to get in my car, and it was gone. Ends up, she had neglected to tell me that you needed a parking permit, otherwise your car gets towed. I ended up having to drive to the pound which cost me over $130 to get my car out. She promises that she'll pay me back sice she forgot to inform me of this. In the meantime, I come home to find in my mail, a statement from my bank that the check her daughter wrote out had bounced, so it caused the 2 checks I had wrote out against that to bounce. Seeing as they were both small checks, tha bank covered them, but I had to pay extra to the back to the tune of $60. I wrote this lady (since she had no phone) and told her about the bounced check, the fees, not to mention her promise to pay me back the money for my car being towed and the fee to get it out. Needless to say, there was no, happy ending, and I was out over $200. You live, you learn. Right?

Kidhuman
11-08-2003, 07:31 PM
Ouch Boba, that hurts. I would of egged her house. And then bit her on the ankle.

InsaneJediGirl
11-08-2003, 11:06 PM
I dont think your a snob Boba.The guy sounds high or out of it:rolleyes:Perhaps you can take a new route home until this Lanny gets his bum off that area of the street.

As for giving money,I only give to charities I know where my money is going,like the VFW,Lions Club or Shriners.Beyond organizations giving to children or the elderly,I could honestly care less.

Speaking of giving,is anyone else badgered by the Boy and Girl Scouts?I nearly had to knock some little freak down yesterday.I dont support the narrow minded Scouts,now leave me alone before I shove those cookies somewhere :evil:

Kidhuman
11-09-2003, 12:50 AM
The cookies are good, but I hate getting harrassed when I come out of a grocery store for cookies. I just bought some Chips Ahoy darn it. Dont need anymore.

bobafrett
11-09-2003, 01:40 AM
I dont think your a snob Boba.The guy sounds high or out of it:rolleyes:Perhaps you can take a new route home until this Lanny gets his bum off that area of the street.

Which boba are you talking to, bobajames, or me, bobafrett? Nevermind, I just read it again. Yes, I agree, not very snobbish at all. More than I might have done. Though I did give a bum some change in Chicago, and I was on my way to the train, and he handed me a valid train ticket! A ride home for under a dollar in loose coin!


As for giving money,I only give to charities I know where my money is going,like the VFW,Lions Club or Shriners.Beyond organizations giving to children or the elderly,I could honestly care less.

Speaking of giving,is anyone else badgered by the Boy and Girl Scouts?I nearly had to knock some little freak down yesterday.I dont support the narrow minded Scouts,now leave me alone before I shove those cookies somewhere :evil:

I usually buy Girl scout cookies from my niece in Wisconsin. She lives in a town, where the neighbors are spread way far apart by large plots of land.

Lowly Bantha Cleaner
11-09-2003, 11:06 AM
Yes Boba, don't think you are a snob for doing what you did. Your story sorta reminds me of the few times a year I would volunteer a day of the week to help out at a local food pantry, during my college days.

We used to shell out meals to people of low income or even those who were homeless. Most of the people who showed up were very appreciative of the assistance they received. However, there were always a couple who would regulary moan about the menu choice, the fact that they didn't get enough rice on their tray, or something so trivial that it made you seethe in anger. We called them the "ungrateful few." You couldn't let them bother you, because if it did, it would ruin your experience and the opinion of the type of people you served.

If you see him next time, tell him "beggars can't be choosers." Just like on Halloween I was handing out candy and a girl of about 10 had the audacity to decline the candy I was about to throw into her bag and instead reach right into the bowl and grab what she wanted.

Emperor Howdy
11-18-2003, 12:31 AM
A snob? Dude, come on. I'm in Atlanta too, and I'm sick of those begger scumbags. Don't feel bad or upset. They are a menace to people even during a simple walk downtown, C.O. Park, or wherever there's a crowd. They get me EVERYTIME when I go to see a show at the Tabernacle. Screw them. The only freebie they'll get from me is several swings to the face with a baseball bat. :mad:



In a loving, non-violent way, of course. :kiss:









Aaaaaaargh! :Pirate: