View Full Version : The Adventures of Kit Fisto!
11-17-2003, 05:46 PM
(Yet another attempt at a collaborative story that won't fizzle out. :p)
The Battle of Geonosis was considered a success, from a military standpoint. But the Jedi Council knew better. The galaxy was slipping into darkness.
Kit Fisto, however, was not on the Council. This had been his first chance to kick serious butt on a major scale. This made him happy.
And there were gorgeous Jedi women to see it all go down. This made him even happier. He smiled.
The sound of a group of ladies sighing broke him from his daze. He had to use the power of his mighty grin wisely. Aayla Secura, Luminara Unduli, Bariss Offee, Bultar Swan, and the young Padawan they knew only as "Hiyah Girl" were sitting nearby, enraptured by his romantic powers, gazing longingly at his totally ripped pecs.
"Sorry, ladies," he said, flashing a smaller grin to snap them from their reveries. "I'd love to stay and chat, but the Council has sent me on to the next battlefield!"
"Where will you go?" asked Bultar.
"Will we see you again?" whined Hiyah Girl.
"Does Oppo Rancisis smell like last week's bantha poodoo?" he said. "I'm off to an undercover assignment on the world of Vegasooine, where I'm told the Confederacy has gained a foothold."
"Vegasooine?" sighed Aayla. "That's like a vacation. We never get cool assignments like that!"
"Aww, you don't think I'd go without my little Blueberry Muffin, did you, baby?" Kit grinned widely for Aayla. "I need a partner on this mission. But we've got to get going, and quickly!"
Kit aided Aayla into the tiger-striped seats of his convertible Jedi Starfighter and the two lifted into the sky.
Before they could go into hyperspace, though, Aayla shouted, "Kit! Off to starboard! Is it. . . ?"
"I should've known," said Kit, sneering. "Geonosis is the perfect world to run afoul of my old enemy. . . .
11-17-2003, 11:23 PM
"... Fit Kiss-o! My evil twin brother, in his starship Lip Smacker." The screen began to get wavy.
"I sense a flashback in the Force," mulled Aayla...
11-18-2003, 11:50 AM
And so it was. Flashback to some twenty standard years ago, inside a training room at the Jedi Academy. Kit, Fit, and several other Younglings are standing around as the mysterious Youngling known only as the Little Dark Girl bawls loudly. . .
"Excuse me, Younglings," said Master Yoda, advancing through the crowd of children. "Troubles you what, Little Dark Girl?"
"It's [sob] Kiss-o," she cried. "He kissed me!"
"Kissed the girl and made her cry, you have," said Yoda, turning toward Fit Kiss-o. "Of the Dark Side, this is. Use your powers for good you should, like your brother."
Kit grinned widely at this, and the Little Dark Girl began giggling and clapping when she saw his smile. Fit Kiss-o scowled.
At that moment, Mace (who, at that time, was sporting a huge afro) burst in, an infant in his arms. "Yoda, I just located this infant, Obi-Wan Kenobi, who is strong in the Force. I think he needs to be trained as a Jedi."
"Kenobi, you say? On the roster shall we put him."
"Dude," said lil' Pablo Jill to the baby, "is Owen your brother, or what?"
"Answer that yet, he cannot. Too young is he." Yoda pinched Fit on his ear and pulled him toward him. "A grave matter have we before us, Master Windu. In the manner of the legendary Sith Lord Darth Georgy-Porgy, kissed the girls and made them cry has young Kiss-o."
"Aww, hayle no!" shouted Mace, almost dropping baby Obi-Wan. "We must strike down on him with great vengeance and furious anger!"
"Master Windu, even more of the Dark Side than frightening little girls are vengeance and anger."
"Oh. Right. In that case, I say we wash him out."
"To the Agri-Corps he goes, then?"
"Naw, we can't have such a little twerp around all those farmers' daughters. Just drop him off at the bus station on Nar Shaada with only a blanket and twelve credits."
"Done it will be. Master Dooku, would you and your apprentice this mission accept?"
Dooku and Qui-Gon grabbed Fit Kiss-o under the arms and pulled him from the room. As he was dragged out, Fit heard Mace say, "Y'know, Yoda, this is sort of a good thing. I've been debating which of those brothers to make into my Padawan, and this just made the decision easier. Congratulations, Padawan Fisto."
11-23-2003, 04:14 PM
Back to normal time..........
Kit grinned and then noticed two missiles headed for his Starfighter. He banked hard port and just missed getting hit. He landed his starfighter and jumped out igniting his saber. Fit-Kisso was already awaiting him. They lunged for each other........
01-29-2004, 09:43 PM
. . . and Fit kicked Kit in the naughty bits.
"Uuhhhh," said Kit, falling to the ground, as Fit stood over him, laughing maniacally.
"Kit, baby, please tell me you're okay!" cried Aayla, wrapping her arms around him.
"No problem, sugar," said Kit, grinning. "But he hit my pocket, where I keep my. . . .
01-29-2004, 11:21 PM
.......candy bars" and a mighty grin appeared as he lunged up. He flew to his feet and delivered a right cross to Fit. Fit dropped to the ground.
He looked up and said " You bwoke ma Jow. I can neber gwin again"
And so it goes how Kit became the mighty grinner of the Galaxy.
BUt back to our regular scheduled thread..........
01-30-2004, 08:27 PM
That was a great story! Thanks guys.
01-30-2004, 09:43 PM
That was a great story! Thanks guys.
Oh, it aint over, its only just begun(in best Karen Carpenter voice)......
Kit and Aayla headed back to there ship.
"But Kit, its damaged" said Aayla.
"Thats ok, I will take Maces. He got beer in hisa anyways."
So they climbed anoard Maces ship and headed off on their mission to........
01-31-2004, 08:12 AM
... Mount Yoda. Or as the natives call it, Maize. (In conclusion, Dagobah is a land of many contrasts. The end.)
"But how will we find this Mount Yoda?" Aayla said. "I hear that no one knows its location."
Kit just grinned. "Oh, there are a few who know where to find it."
"And you are one of those who do know?" Aayla asked.
Kit frowned. "I thought that was implied." He turned back to his nav computer and set in the coordinates.
01-31-2004, 07:37 PM
"Man this is gonna be a sweet Vacation. I'm heading otthe beaches of Tatooine, got my beer loaded up on.............MY SHIP. Where is my SHIP???????"
"Taken it someone has" chimed in Yoda
"No crap, but who?" asked Mace
"Tell you the force will, or look there, Shipwrecked is Kits cruiser" Yoda babbled.
"Man, I am gonna hunt him down and.........
02-15-2004, 09:45 AM
... figure out how you and Mace got here, Master Yoda."
"Know the secret passageway, we do," replied Yoda.
"Can you show me?" asked Kit. "That beer's got a freshness date, you know."
"It's quite simple," quipped Mace. "All you do is this; Plo Koon, with the hydrospanner, in the cantina." Suddenly, Mace Windu was gone.
"Wha-ahhhhhh?!?!?!?" gasped Kit. "Wha-? Where? How? Huh?"
"No grin from the mighty Kit Fisto, there is?" scribbled Yoda. "Wait a moment, you must."
Then, Mace appeared again, holding a case of Old Mrlist beer. "See? It's easy. You try, Kit."
"This sounds like some kind of a game," Kit pondered, "And I haven't got a clue how to do it."
"Try," said Yoda, "Or try not. There is no clue."
"Okay," sighed Kit, "I'll try..."
02-15-2004, 10:34 AM
singing Puttin on the Ritz. " said Kit
A top-hat and cane appeared out of no where and his musical number began. As he danced his heart away Aayla watched with delight. "You're so sexy Kit" she said as she clapped with glee.
A grin broke out on his face, only to be interupted by Mace screaming at him " Stop this idiotic dance number and tell me what youyr doing with my ship and why you stoled it"
"We were on our way to...........
07-09-2010, 10:37 PM
... kill threads."
"What does that mean?" asked Mace. "Do you mean like those shatterpoint threads I see in my EU?"
"EU?" said Kit. "What's that? it sounds pretty lame."
"Eww is what I think about if someone ever tried to make up stories about me," replied Mace.
"Can we get to the ship?" pushed Aayla.
"Well, I suppose...
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