02-16-2004, 10:07 AM
February 16, 2004
IN BRIEF / NATIONWIDE
Team Locates Farthest Galaxy from Earth
In a discovery that offers a rare glimpse back to when the universe was just 750 million years old, a team of astrophysicists said they have detected a tiny galaxy that is the farthest known object from Earth.
The team, including a California Institute of Technology astronomer, uncovered the galaxy, roughly 13 billion light-years from Earth, using the Hubble Space Telescope and telescopes atop Mauna Kea in Hawaii.
02-16-2004, 02:18 PM
So, when do we send a rover over there to explore it?
02-16-2004, 09:19 PM
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... there lived a farmer named Steven, who loved a dancer named Yarna. He met her at a buffet, they bumped into each other while serving themselves chicken wings. It was love at first sight. They hung out together usually going out to eat because thats what Yarna liked. Multiple servings of double (sometimes triple!!!) cheeseburgers, pizzas, and popcorn were her favorites. While courting each other, they came to realize that they both had some things in common. Steve liked to rap, and Yarna liked to dance (actually it was more like just bouncing around, but thats not too important) to rap, so she would accompany him to his battles. But one day Steve was in over his head battling against another rapper named Fat Butt Hutt, and in doing so bet Fat Butt Hutt that if he won, Butt had to give up his galactic food stamps (Fat Butt Hutt was notorius for cheating the Republic, in truth he was rich and cruised around in his customized Sail Barge sitting on dubs, plus he was already an accomplished rapper) Steve figured that with the stamps, he could take Yarna out to eat (always thinking of her Steve was) and if he lost, Yarna would go with Fat Butt Hutts cousin Jabba. Hutt agreed to the terms, a coin was flipped, and Steve spit first, it went something like this:
"You an ugly butt hutt, to move about you roll on your fat (you know what curse word goes here) gut. You smell so bad, youd make a bantha mad. Dont make me bust out the gat, and pop off some of that fat. Im on a rampage, chump take your fat self off this stage!"
The crowd went wild, yelling "GO STEVIE, ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY" and whatnot. But Fat Butt Hutt sat there with a smirk on his face and said...
"But your girlie likes my cushion, she says its better for the pushin. Ill break you apart, with one powerful fart. Fat Butts got it locked, careful or youll get socked. King Fat Butt says bow down, cause in my court your just a clown!!!"
The crowd went wild and showered Fat Butt with food (he ate what he could of it too) and proclaimed him winner. Steve was heartbroken, he had lost his true love Yarna. Yarna who could make him feel like he had spent his money well by cleaning out a buffet, Yarna who had cut his heating bill by 2/3 just by cuddling up with him at night. Steve stopped battling afterwards, he vowed to never spit again because of what his pride had cost him. Yarna on the other hand, while she cared for Steve, decided that there was no point in being depressed with her situation. She was able to dance all she wanted at Jabbas crib. And this concludes the story of Steve and Yarna, two star crossed lovers.
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