View Full Version : The Wal-Mart Song

04-07-2004, 03:33 PM
I've written a new theme song for my local Wal-Mart, which I'm sure everyone will be able to relate to. Can you tell I'm bored at work today?

I Still Havenít Found The Figures Iím Looking For
(With apologies to U2)

I have shopped a thousand Wal-Marts;
I have run down the aisles,
Searching for something new.
Iím desperate for something new.

No need to run,
No need to crawl.
Iím familiar with these dusty peg walls,
These same old peg walls,
Filled with NOTHING newÖ

And I still havenít found the figures Iím looking forÖ
Just the same old junk that Iíve seen beforeÖ

Iím so sick of the Cantina Sets,
The 10 Zam Wessells, the Jango Fetts;
Iíd like to set them on fire!
Thatís my burning desire!

I have spoke with the redneck manager,
About the dealer that I think is the devil.
I said itís not right,
But he looks at me stonedÖ

And I still havenít found the figures Iím looking forÖ
Just Hot Wheels and Bey Blades scattered on the floor...

I believe Hasbroís dumb,
Cause with all these new figures, I havenít found one;
Someone give me a gun!
They better start runniní!

Time to break the bank and
Loose the chains.
Looks like I have to shop,
On ebayÖ
Oh, my shame!
I have to pay for shippingÖ.

But I still havenít found the figures Iím looking forÖ
And I canít look at Djas Puhr any moreÖ
Hey chubby dealer, wait up, hold that doorÖ.
Cause I still havenít found the figures Iím looking forÖ.

04-07-2004, 07:47 PM

Lowly Bantha Cleaner
04-07-2004, 10:09 PM
I think you've just given Bono a run for his money Angellus. One heckuva song, and the unfortunate part is that most of us collectors know those words are all too familiar to us. :frus:

Card Dreamer
04-07-2004, 11:16 PM
I just want to say that is the FUNNIEST song parody I've heard (read) in a while. Can I post it on my site?

04-08-2004, 08:11 AM
Can I post it on my site?

Sure! Go right ahead!

04-09-2004, 11:33 AM
That is an awesome song, well done. :)

04-10-2004, 08:58 AM
Great song! I love songs based on current events! So true.

04-10-2004, 11:39 AM
That was GREAT!!!!!!!

04-11-2004, 05:44 PM
Been working at Wal-Mart one month now, and only saw one new shipment of two cases of figures. I must say it's Sad, but true!