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JON9000
04-21-2004, 02:06 PM
Have any of you rread this article? Friggin' hilarious. A nice dis of every song plus the worst moment! Here's a sample from number 46- Hangin Tough by the New Kids:

"It sucked the Swing out of New Jack, bleached the Blues out of Rhythm &, and featured white boys calling themselves “funky” despite some very unfunky denim vests. This Boston quintet triggered a hormonal rush among 13-year-old girls and intense confusion among their boyfriends, and paved the way for megaselling boy bands who ran low on talent and high on dumb hats. This 1988 hit was all crossed arms and scowls, but the tuff-guy routine didn’t gel: These nancy boys make the Sharks and Jets look like G-Unit.

Worst Moment The boys warn: “Don’t cross our path or you’re gonna get stomped!” Scary!"

dr_evazan22
04-21-2004, 08:19 PM
Saw an article abuot this today on line. Worst moment was Starship's "We Built This City."

Rocketboy
04-21-2004, 10:38 PM
Great list, except for The Doors "The End" being on there.

Kidhuman
04-22-2004, 06:39 AM
Anotherl ist that is completely wrong IMO.

arctangent
04-22-2004, 07:26 AM
Anotherl ist that is completely wrong IMO.

except for that starship song at number one - that really is rank. isn't there a quote accompanying their number one status about it just shows how low a group will go for the almighty dollar?

Rocketboy
04-22-2004, 11:39 AM
I was surprised not see the Macarena on there.

El Chuxter
04-22-2004, 12:14 PM
I'd check it out, but, well, Maxim was always only good for the pictures. Unlike Playboy, where you can be moving the stack you had as a teenager and shout, "Omigod, this has an original short story by Gabriel Garcia Marquez! And nice pictures!" :beard:

Given that Blender is a spinoff from Maxim, I was wary of it. My suspicions were confirmed a week ago when I read a review of the House of Pain greatest hits package and saw the sentence, "Everlast's rhymes still suck." WTF?

2-1B
04-22-2004, 12:55 PM
Everlast does suck. :D

I enjoyed the list compiled by Blender with a few exceptions (particularly The Doors and Lionel Ritchie) but to see Fred Durst on there at number 4 with that goofy "Rollin" was satisfying. :crazed:

Achy Breaky Heart was number 2 but I still think it's much worse than Starship's POS We Built this City.

Billy Ray (Mullet) Cyrus, now there's a WTF moment ! :crazed: :crazed:

El Chuxter
04-22-2004, 01:23 PM
Oh, come on now! How can you not like


I'm the cream of the crop
I rise to the top
I never eat a pig 'cause a pig is a cop
Or better yet a Terminator
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger
Trying to play me out like as if my name was Sega
But I ain't going out like no punk b****
Get used to one style, yo, and I might switch

You've got to like that even if only in a "that's cheesy, but catchy" way. :beard:

Though his first solo album is one of the worst albums of all time, no question.

Rocketboy
04-22-2004, 09:36 PM
I'd check it out, but, well, Maxim was always only good for the pictures. Unlike Playboy, where you can be moving the stack you had as a teenager and shout, "Omigod, this has an original short story by Gabriel Garcia Marquez! And nice pictures!" :beard:

Given that Blender is a spinoff from Maxim, I was wary of it. My suspicions were confirmed a week ago when I read a review of the House of Pain greatest hits package and saw the sentence, "Everlast's rhymes still suck." WTF?Blender is by far the best music magazine out there. Far better (and less biased) than Spin or Rolling Stone. Sure, I disagree with them sometimes, but I feel sick every time I even look at a Spin or RS.

I still like House of Pain. Never heard Everlast's first album. Whitey Ford Sings The Blues was his 2nd solo album - and I like that one too. :D

Kidhuman
04-22-2004, 09:40 PM
except for that starship song at number one - that really is rank. isn't there a quote accompanying their number one status about it just shows how low a group will go for the almighty dollar?

If I was to take a day, I could list 50 worse songs than that.

















Celine Dion has how many CD's? :beard:

arctangent
04-23-2004, 05:29 AM
Celine Dion has how many CD's? :beard:

ha, ha :) ! very true. can't believe i didn't think of her, although just the merest hint of celine dion makes my ears heal over :sur: !

and as for house of pain, i don't really know them but my brother chose 'jump around' as first dance when he got married rather than have some sloppy love song. he and my sister in law still slow danced to it though :crazed: !

El Chuxter
04-23-2004, 12:19 PM
For the record, I trust no music magazine. They're all crap. I look in them to find out release dates, and that's about it. Last time I trusted the consensus of all the music magazines, I picked up a copy of the Kings of Leon CD blind simply because it was supposedly the best of the year and in the vein of the Allman Brothers. Yeah, the Allman Brothers after they've had lobotomies and their fingers removed, then got sauced up on Everclear. It was a cheap used copy, but still, I could've bought a SW figure with that dough.


I still like House of Pain. Never heard Everlast's first album. Whitey Ford Sings The Blues was his 2nd solo album - and I like that one too. :D

It's horrible! Produced by Ice-T, but you'd never know from the sonic mess it is. I picked it up on tape for $1 several years back, and when they re-released the CD to coincide with the succes of "What It's Like," I had to laugh. If you can download, check out "The Knack," which samples "My Sharona" and is the closest thing to a decent track from that album.

Dr Zoltar
04-23-2004, 01:34 PM
So why doesn't anyone like "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight?" It was one of the first videos to cause seizures when being watched! :D

I'm so glad "Safety Dance" didn't make the list...

Exhaust Port
04-23-2004, 03:50 PM
http://www.blender.com/articles/article_466.html

It's a pretty funny article. I might not agree that those are the 50 worst but I wouldn't argue that any of those don't make a strong case to be there. :)

I would like to add:

Europe (The Final Countdown...blah)
Nelson (pale demon twins)
Kid Rock (MY NAME IS BBBBBBBBBBBBBBOB!)

....and finally....

anything involving Fred Durst.

2-1B
04-24-2004, 01:55 AM
Excellent choices, EPort !

Chux, I'm pleased to see that Toby Keith made that list of worst songs.

UH-OH, Manowar was listed at number 44 on that link shared by EPort . . . mabudon will surely beg to differ.

mabudonicus
04-24-2004, 06:15 AM
Caesar- I don't beg... I DEMAND to differ


not much, though, as Sign of the Hammer is a fairly weak outing, and the word "ludicrous" is used correctly... I've always said that the self-proclaimed (or did the fans proclaim it??? who knows!!) "Kings of Metal" were like Spinal Tap on steroids...

And the article shows that there is a country where some form of sanity still reigns ;)

As for the rest of the list ,"Live"truly belongs there,not even a full-trick pony

Never thought Skinny Puppy was as good as my non-musical friends tried to tell me they were....

CREED, 'nuff said

Agreed on Jagger, and Tin machine, Kenny G, Bolton....

There'sa few acts on there that don't fit the theme f'rinstance, I've at least laughed at some of ICP's stuff earnestly, I always thought those guys were doing musical standup or something, talented or not, whereas a guy like kenny G, doing what he does is the musical equivalent of hammering nails into slate with a TV set it's so wrong

Kidhuman
04-24-2004, 07:46 AM
We should make a list of 50 of the worst lists. :beard: Who is with me?

Exhaust Port
04-24-2004, 08:29 AM
Sounds good. I've listed my 4 entries above.

Kidhuman
04-24-2004, 12:32 PM
No EP, a list of "The worst lists". NOt adding singers, just the lists from various magazines. :beard:

Jedi_Master_Guyute
05-02-2004, 06:05 PM
Here is the list of the 50 worst songs as I didn't see it posted.

1. We Built This City ... Starship
2. Achy Breaky Heart ... Billy Ray Cyrus
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight ... Wang Chung
4. Rollin' ... Limp Bizkit
5. Ice Ice Baby ... Vanilla Ice
6. The Heart of Rock & Roll ... Huey Lewis and the News
7. Don't Worry, Be Happy ... Bobby McFerrin
8. Party All the Time ... Eddie Murphy
9. American Life ... Madonna
10. Ebony and Ivory ... Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
11. Invisible ... Clay Aiken
12. Kokomo ... The Beach Boys
13. Illegal Alien ... Genesis
14. From a Distance ... Bette Midler
15. I'll Be There for You ... The Rembrandts
16. What's Up? ... 4 Non Blondes
17. Pumps and a Bump ... Hammer
18. You're the Inspiration ... Chicago
19. Broken Wings ... Mr. Mister
20. Dancing on the Ceiling ... Lionel Richie
21. Two Princes ... Spin Doctors
22. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) ... Toby Keith
23. Sunglasses at Night ... Corey Hart
24. Superman ... Five for Fighting
25. I'll Be Missing You ... Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112
26. The End ... The Doors
27. The Final Countdown ... Europe
28. Your Body Is a Wonderland ... John Mayer
29. Breakfast at Tiffany's ... Deep Blue Something
30. Greatest Love of All ... Whitney Houston
31. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm ... Crash Test Dummies
32. Will 2K ... Will Smith
33. Barbie Girl ... Aqua
34. Longer ... Dan Fogelberg
35. Shiny Happy People ... R.E.M.
36. Make Em Say Uhh! ... Master P featuring Silkk, Fiend, Mia-X and Mystikal
37. Rico Suave ... Gerardo
38. Cotton Eyed Joe ... Rednex
39. She Bangs ... Ricky Martin
40. I Wanna Sex You Up ... Color Me Badd
41. We Didn't Start the Fire ... Billy Joel
42. The Sounds of Silence ... Simon & Garfunkel
43. Follow Me ... Uncle Kracker
44. I'll Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) ... Meat Loaf
45. Mesmerize ... Ja Rule featuring Ashanti
46. Hangin' Tough ... New Kids on the Block
47. The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You ... Bryan Adams
48. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da ... The Beatles
49. I'm Too Sexy ... Right Said Fred
50. My Heart Will Go On ... Celine Dion

Pretty damned funny if you ask me aside from SIMON AND GARFUNKEL?!!? I think the editors were smoking crack when they put this on the list. :D

El Chuxter
05-12-2004, 02:15 PM
Where are the crapfests like:
It's Raining Men
Lucas With the Lid Off
the entire Barbra Streisand repertoire
Da Da Da
The Sweater (and I don't mean the Weezer song with a similar name)
Toy Soldiers
Touch Me
No More Lies
Don't Take the Girl
Revolution #9
Semi-Charmed Life (they certainly got every other 90s song with a catchy chorus)
Two Become One
Unskinny Bop
All That She Wants
Opposites Attract
It's Getting Hot in Herre

I could severely diss this list, but then I saw "We Didn't Start the Fire" and "Sounds of Silence" and realized it must've been a joke!

Great job, Blender! You had us all going there for a few minutes. :D

Kidhuman
05-12-2004, 05:20 PM
You forgot Macerena. :beard: