View Full Version : Truth? You can't handle the truth.

Exhaust Port
12-16-2004, 11:18 AM
I've always been a huge supporter of being completely honest in life. I really have no problem telling someone the truth in both personal and professional environments. As I'm getting older (aren't we all) I'm starting to realize that people don't want or can't handle the truth. Sure everyone wants everyone to be open with them but I don't think they really expect others to actually be honest.

Employers want their employees to be honest about their work environment to keep them happy as well as insure that problems don't arise unexpected later. I had 2 jobs where there were internal problems that quite a few workers and managers were ignoring just to keep from creating waves. Well a few of us stood up and starting telling the higher ups what was going on, telling them the truth. Did it help? No. Being honest about the work environment only caused more problems. The actual trouble areas were never addressed, instead the management spent all their time addressing those of us who were "creating waves".

Sure trouble was caused by us being outspoken but they freaked out over that rather than freaking out over there being actual problems with how things were being operated. One of the 2 employeers actually held "secret" meetings where they called in each of us one at a time where we were sat down in front of all the managers and told to stop causing problems. Causing problems? They asked for an honest evaluation and we gave it. So sure enough all the outstanding problems continued to exist and only grew over time causing more and more problems. Meanwhile the only action the managers took was to insure that another "truth" outbreak didn't happen.

It's like they read a How to be a Manager book where it said to create an open forum where your employees can be honest about problems at work without fearing repercusions. To their suprise folks actually took them up on their offer. I guess their How To book didn't cover actually dealing with issues employees brought up.

I had one job where I remember hearing discussions of hatred for the General Manager even before I met him. A few years later I found myself working fairly close to that GM but still found myself negatively bias towards his work performance because of all those years of badmouthing by other employees. It didn't take long until I discovered the truth. The GM was an outstanding person and really exceled at his job. The company flurished under his leadership even with such negative talk from the workers. Why did everyone hate him? It surely wasn't because of his ability it was because he was completely honest. If you sucked at your job and needed improvement he told you. If you F'd up he called you on it. But everytime he pointed out a fault he told you how to fix it and improve your own performance. Sure enough his advice worked. Most folks never realized that he improved their skills or work environment, all the ever remembered was that "one day he called me into his office and told me that I wasn't doing a good job." Nevermind that he probably was right, and that he's called them into his office plenty of other times to tell them that they were doing great.

I guess I've found the same thing in personal relationships as well. I'm completely honest about everything I think, see or do. Any woman I've asked has always listed honesty highly on their list of desireables in a relationship. I'm starting to think that they don't really know what honesty means. It's as if they expect a relationship where there are no secrets means that there won't be any things that won't be shocking in the first place. "If you don't want to know, don't ask" is what I think everyone should believe.

It seems that every large relationship problem I've had has stemmed from someone being told the truth. Someone asks a question, I tell them the truth, then they get mad that I told them that. Wha? It's not like I'm being cruel in my delivery but somethings don't have any way of being explained without hitting you like a ton of bricks.

So, in a social environment where so many people portray a "fake" front AND so many others express disgust for those folks who act fake why does an honest approach actually create so many problems? How can people want to be handled in a truthful manner by their employers, friends and partners yet are disgusted by those that do?

12-16-2004, 06:54 PM
People have made lies as the uniform decision in business so much that lies have become the new honesty. It's screwed up, but probably the only thing you can do is go to the higher-ups of the higher-ups. If you're being accused of "creating waves" then that means that people aren't wanting to do their job and that needs to be addressed.

It does get on my nerves alot people who lie in every situation, even ones where they don't even need an excuse. But that could be because I'm bitter to lies as I got so good at them, that I just got too bored to lie anymore. :p