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JimJamBonds
06-25-2005, 02:52 AM
The talk of the Deion Sanders roller hotdog maker got me thinking about all the stupid junk out there that people buy. Is a hotdog maker really needed? Maybe if you work at a football/baseball stadium/indoor arena other then that? I don't really think so.

So what I'd like to hear is ideas for the most stupid appliances out there. My vote? I'm not sure what its exactly called but its purpose is to warm tortilla's??? Is that really needed? If I want to warm one I throw it in the microwave for about 3 seconds that is all that's really needed! Buying a separate device just to warm those things up seems pretty dumb to me.

Anybody else have any ideas out there?

mabudonicus
06-25-2005, 09:12 AM
I always thought bagel-only toasters were pretty damn stupid

The "Rotato express" was pretty funny

"Perfect Pancake" was another one (clamshell style thing)- the commercial was so damn funny, there was one part where the voiceover said "If you can operate a DOORKNOB, you can use this" and to back up the "point" there was a quick shot of a hand grabbing a doorknob and opening it.. too funny

I actually have, somewhere's, a totally useless device- "the coney island steamer" (make your own joke, it's too easy for me) it's a little plug-in thing that fits one hot-dog on these little heating plates, you pour a little bit of water in then slap a single dog in it and put the little clear plastic dome over it and let 'er rip (also the "dome" is perforated so as to allow steam to escape and you're supposed to put the bun on there, open, to steam it too)

My grandfather used to insist on using it (although my grandma thought it was dumb- I suspect he did it for us kids cos it was a nifty sort of gadget and he liked that sort of thing) to make hotdogs for lunch- it usually took over an hour to get all the dogs "done" and then he would have to heat them up again anyways

Kidhuman
06-25-2005, 12:16 PM
A toaster oven, I have a toaster and an oven already, dont need to combine them.

Rocketboy
06-26-2005, 12:03 AM
Dishwashers.

That's what wives are for.
;)

Tonysmo
06-26-2005, 02:07 AM
Damn dude. thats what wives are for? I could think of other stuff besides washin dishes.. :sur:


I love my toaster oven Kid.. bought it for my french bread pizzas.. :classic:

sits right next to the microwave and stove. I keep the tortilla warmer in the cabinet above..

Kidhuman
06-26-2005, 12:52 PM
Well at least we know you keeps these companies in business :rolleyes:

JimJamBonds
06-26-2005, 03:06 PM
Hot water heaters, why would you want to heat hot water? lol

mastermatt24
06-26-2005, 04:04 PM
I always see those quesadilla makers.. whatta waste. Electric can openers are dumb too. And that magic bullet- they show people making entire dinners... but you could hardly make enough for one person. :rolleyes:

2-1B
06-26-2005, 04:52 PM
I used to think that mere twin slotted toasters were useless until I realized that you can toast a third piece by laying it on top of the device and rotating it halfway through the toasting cycle.

JediTricks
06-26-2005, 05:35 PM
Bagel toasters aren't that stupid because bagels shouldn't be toasted on both sides but most toasters work that way. However, I'd never buy a bagel-only toaster when there are extra-wides with a bagel option that shuts off half the heating coils.

That magic bullet blender looks ridiculous, I am still unclear on what exactly is supposed make it special, it's a tiny high-torque blender, big whoop.

What about those ice cream twisters where it's this huge machine that has a spout which pumps out the ice cream, and all you have to add is the twister ingredients (cookie pieces, reece's pieces, whatever) and the ICE CREAM!!! This thing is bigger than a crock pot and all it can do is stir your pre-made ice cream?!? The set-up probably takes 3 times as long as just stirring it in yourself by hand.

The George Foreman grill is a really dopey gadget, it overcooks pretty much everything and without removable heating plates is super difficult to clean (I gather they finally updated it, but nobody is buying these at this point).

The Ron Popiel "Showtime Rotisserie" looks ridiculous, how many people are actually going to use that thing more than once? And its design is cheap so it lets out all the heat that's supposed to be for the food, why is why you'd use a rotisserie in the first place.

My "favorite" though is the belgian waffle iron sold separately from the quesadilla maker sold separately from the hot sandwich press sold separately from the 2-sided grill, they're all identical machines except for differently-shaped plates, if you need these things just get 1 machine with interchangeable plates and save yourself tons of space.

The Deion Sanders hot dog rollers doesn't seem that bad to me if you like hot dogs because boiling your dogs is horrible and grilling them isn't always what you want. Plus, you can put ears of corn on the rollers, I like that idea, and you can pull the rollers off and use it as a supplimentary electric griddle.

2-1B
06-26-2005, 07:03 PM
I have a Foreman Grill and it's awesome, I inherited it from a friend who died almost 2 years ago (it's more sentimental than anything since he used it a few years ago to cook up some food for us during the Super Bowl (Ravens V. Giants) but really, I think it's cool and I pretty much only use it for making grilled cheese, it's fantastic ! Clean up with this one is easy enough, the whole face of it comes off. I don't really use it for cooking meat though . . .

Kidhuman
06-27-2005, 12:36 AM
JT, clean the Foreman grill when its hot, just wipe with a damp rag and soap and it comes right out. Less than 2 minutes total.

I perfer my dogs boiled, I hate em grilled.

2-1B
06-27-2005, 02:31 AM
Agreed, if you get a good boil going and drop in some QUALITY natural casing dogs, I love how juicy they are and that "burst" they have to them (the burst comes right after the "snap" of course).

CaptainSolo1138
06-27-2005, 10:37 AM
I love my George! While it does cook some food unevenly, it makes great hot dogs and burgers. The biggest problem I have with it is that it has no temperature gauge or adjuster. If you put a relatively large piece of meat on there, it burns the outside and leaves the inside cold and pink.

As for pointless appliances, I hafta go with ice cream makers. I don't care how good it may taste, twenty minutes or so for a quart of ice cream isn't worth the time.

JimJamBonds
06-27-2005, 11:26 AM
The Ron Popiel "Showtime Rotisserie" looks ridiculous, how many people are actually going to use that thing more than once? And its design is cheap so it lets out all the heat that's supposed to be for the food, why is why you'd use a rotisserie in the first place.

To answer your question JT: I've used it more then once. I was given the Showtime Rotisserie as a Christmas gift from a friend in 2003. I've used it probably 15 times. Is it the most energy efficient appliance ever made? Nope. But imho it is awesome! Its one of THE BEST gifts I have ever gotten. It has its drawbacks, its a mess to clean and some of the things they show being made isn't worth the hassle but on the whole its great. I typically make a cornish game hen and its phenomenal! I've made duck in it two times and I have to say its the best duck I've ever had in my life. I've made fish and that too is good. I was hoping to get a turkey hunting this spring and make it in the rotisserie but that hasn't worked out... yet. ;) I also have plans to make ribs or a roast etc in it which I expect to be delish!:classic:

CaptainSolo1138
06-27-2005, 11:42 AM
So when is the 1st Annual "Everyone from SSG crams into JJB#2's house for some ribs" festival? :D

JimJamBonds
06-27-2005, 11:47 AM
So when is the 1st Annual "Everyone from SSG crams into JJB#2's house for some ribs" festival? :D

Sure come on over, only thing Cap I'll have to make sure you won't have any encounters of the bovie variety on your way over from the mitten. lol

CaptainSolo1138
06-27-2005, 12:02 PM
Sure come on over, only thing Cap I'll have to make sure you won't have any encounters of the bovie variety on your way over from the mitten. lol
Appreciate it, man. The only cows we see on a regular basis here in Michigan are usually at the bar and wearing leopard print spandex of some sort.

JimJamBonds
06-27-2005, 12:21 PM
Appreciate it, man. The only cows we see on a regular basis here in Michigan are usually at the bar and wearing leopard print spandex of some sort.

I do what I can to be helpfull. We have the same "problems" as you do but I can't say I see too much of the leopard print spandex though.:p

JimJamBonds
06-27-2005, 12:30 PM
While I personally don't own the following I do have first hand experience with the following:

Juice makers: A good idea but not worth the mess for a cup of juice.
Dehydraters: Again it can be messy but good stuff can be made for those that like dried stuff.
Breadmakers: Who doesn't like fresh hot bread?
Pizza baking stone: I like the idea the only thing is you have to fire up the oven for something like 30 min. to get the stone hot and then you start baking the za. Good idea but I'm not sure if its worth the hassel.

I have a few more useless appliance experience's but at the moment I can't think of them.

2-1B
06-27-2005, 01:48 PM
Cappy, doesn't your Foreman have a turnable heating knob ? :confused:

darthvyn
06-27-2005, 01:57 PM
Pizza baking stone: I like the idea the only thing is you have to fire up the oven for something like 30 min. to get the stone hot and then you start baking the za. Good idea but I'm not sure if its worth the hassel.


no, this is totally worth it... the crust comes out so much better than on anything else... and really, the clean-up is easy too: just scrape it off, you're not allowed to use any cleansers on it, otherwise it might absorb into the stone and taint the taste of the pizza... i haven't eaten pizza in like, 6 years, until we got the stone. i overdosed on pizza in college and couldn't have it again. now the little lady and i make 'em twice a month!

CaptainSolo1138
06-27-2005, 02:01 PM
Cappy, doesn't your Foreman have a turnable heating knob ? :confused:
No sir, I have no knob.

I can't adjust the heat on my George, either. :D

Is the knob on top? Maybe their is a knob underneath and I've never seen it. To my knowledge though there is no adjuster. Poor Cap. He has to eat burnt chicken :cry:

JimJamBonds
06-27-2005, 03:01 PM
no, this is totally worth it... the crust comes out so much better than on anything else... and really, the clean-up is easy too: just scrape it off, you're not allowed to use any cleansers on it, otherwise it might absorb into the stone and taint the taste of the pizza... i haven't eaten pizza in like, 6 years, until we got the stone. i overdosed on pizza in college and couldn't have it again. now the little lady and i make 'em twice a month!

Hmmm, I think I'll have to dig that sucker out and try it again. Thanks!

Slicker
06-27-2005, 04:11 PM
No sir, I have no knob.

I can't adjust the heat on my George, either. :D

Is the knob on top? Maybe their is a knob underneath and I've never seen it. To my knowledge though there is no adjuster. Poor Cap. He has to eat burnt chicken :cry:My Foreman doesn't have an adjust knob either. Just an orange light that tells you when it's hot enough.

As for useless appliances, I personally don't own one but those pizza warming turntables with the heating device suspended above it. I don't about cook times but that seems counter productive. You heat a section then rotate it out into the room temperature only to heat it back up again when it makes its round.:confused:

darthvyn
06-27-2005, 04:40 PM
Hmmm, I think I'll have to dig that sucker out and try it again. Thanks!

the secret is, you let the stone heat up with the oven on max (around 500-550 degrees) while flattening the dough out... when it's hot enough, you put just the dough down, because in conventional ovens it doens't get hot enough to cook everything at once. once the crust is starting to cook, then you put the sauce/cheese/toppings down, and wait until it looks the way you like it. i like a crunchy brownish crust, so we wait for a while.

Ji'dai
06-27-2005, 05:03 PM
Although, not an appliance per se, I bought some completely useless but neat looking wine bottle holders today. These were $20 each and come with a decorative cork attachment.

I love the three palm trees with hammock stretched between them that holds a bottle. It looks pretty good with a bottle of Malibu Rum swaying there.

I picked up the rum-swilling Pirate too since I like Pirate stuff but I may return him. The bottle is supposed to be the barrel of the cannon, but I noticed it also has a sexual undertone I'm not quite sure I want :D

I thought my brother would like the Mexican holder. It's got a large cactus and little guy taking a siesta. He and his fiancee just bought a house so I might stick a bottle of Tequila or Margarita mix with it for a house-warming gift.

JimJamBonds
06-27-2005, 05:44 PM
Although, not an appliance per se, I bought some completely useless but neat looking wine bottle holders today. These were $20 each and come with a decorative cork attachment.

I love the three palm trees with hammock stretched between them that holds a bottle. It looks pretty good with a bottle of Malibu Rum swaying there.

I picked up the rum-swilling Pirate too since I like Pirate stuff but I may return him. The bottle is supposed to be the barrel of the cannon, but I noticed it also has a sexual undertone I'm not quite sure I want :D

Arrr matey take a swig from me cannon! ;) Those are pretty cool bottle holders where did you pick those up?

Slicker
06-27-2005, 05:46 PM
Those are friggin' sweet Ji'dai. Where in the hell did you find something so utterly awesome? As for the pirate I thought he was the coolest he's a definite keeper.

mabudonicus
06-27-2005, 06:12 PM
GEEEEZ I dunno about that pirate one actually....
YEARRRRGH :Pirate:
That is quite the conversation piece to be sure

Ji'dai
06-27-2005, 07:06 PM
Yeah, I only noticed that the scurvy Cap'n has a sinister side after I got home and stuck a bottle in him. I may keep ol' One-Eyed Willie though, but I'm sure his... uh.. endowment will get noticed next time I have company.

I found them at my local Osco Drug, pretty common in the Midwest. Osco Drug is a part of Albertsons, which also includes Jewel, Acme Markets, and Sav-On stores.

JediTricks
06-28-2005, 12:42 AM
Pizza baking stone: I like the idea the only thing is you have to fire up the oven for something like 30 min. to get the stone hot and then you start baking the za. Good idea but I'm not sure if its worth the hassel.Proper pizza making requires a very hot and consistantly-hot cooking vessel, various bricks and stones in the oven save the heat, and the stone cooking surface brings it all right to the pizza's most important surface.


I can't adjust the heat on my George, either. I didn't know ANY Foreman Grills had adjustable heat, I've seen a lot of 'em.

JimJamBonds
06-28-2005, 12:53 AM
Proper pizza making requires a very hot and consistantly-hot cooking vessel, various bricks and stones in the oven save the heat, and the stone cooking surface brings it all right to the pizza's most important surface.


I used to work at a 'living history museum' where there was a bake oven. I had bread that was made in that oven, it was my wish to make a pizzia in that sucker (after hours of course) sadly it never happened.

2-1B
06-28-2005, 01:31 AM
I can't believe that you guys don't have adjustable heat on your Foremans . . . I wish I had a digital camera so I could take a picture.

Okay, it's got the prong that goes into the wall, the cord runs up to a power coupling or something of that nature, it's this long prong that slides into the side of the grill connecting with the grilling area and it includes the following levels:

Off
1
2
3
4
5

and once you read the number 3, there's an orange color to them to indicate that those are the higher heating temps.

JimJamBonds
06-28-2005, 01:40 AM
I think the confusion is based on the TYPE of grill. I belive the majority of posters are speaking of the countertop Foreman grill which I'd say is the "most popular." Caesar however has the Indoor/Outdoor Grill as seen here... http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&langId=-1&storeId=301&productId=500597704&N=1590197+2010162&R=HAG007 (sorry I don't know how to add pics in my postings)I think that pic should clear that up some.

JediTricks
06-28-2005, 03:03 AM
There were a lot of variations on the original Foreman grill, some had bun warmers, some had timers, some had bigger faces, some had designer colors, I guess some had heat controllers, some had bun warmers AND timers, they put a lot of gimmicks into these and most of the non-traditional ones were exclusives to a specific chain. The main version of the Foreman Grill sold pretty much everywhere though had no timer, no bun warmer, no variable heat controller, no colors - it was just the floating-hinged grill faces, the spatula thing, the fat-drip tray, and you plug it in to turn it on, I think there was also a red light to let you know when it was ready.

I just checked, the only FGs I could find with temp controls had digital temp controls on the lid, no rheostats dials or sliders or anything - I can't even find one with a removable prong plug. However, the Foreman grill isn't a unique design, it wasn't even the first, the only thing it did first was to angle the grill and open the end so the fat could pour out, there are other brands of grills with prong adapters, some with rheostat dials right on the plug-in prong itself. There's also the non-traditional Foreman grills, some of which have somewhat similar designs though I haven't seen one exactly as you described.
Here's traditional: http://www.esalton.com/control/product/~category_id=C20009/~product_id=GR10AWHT
http://www.esalton.com/control/product/~category_id=C20009/~product_id=GR26CB
and non-traditional: http://www.esalton.com/control/product/~category_id=C20009/~product_id=GR55
http://www.esalton.com/control/product/~category_id=C20009/~product_id=GGR88DK

JimJamBonds
07-01-2005, 12:20 PM
I thought of another one... I don't remember its name but it was some sort of metal tray type device. Its purpose was to speed up the thawing of frozen food, however it didn't have any plug ins or anything like that. You just placed your frozen chicken breast or whatever on the plate and it would thaw quicker then just letting it out and thawing 'naturally.' I remember from the commercial that they showed an ice cube and it melted quicker on that try compared to an ice cube that was just in a bowl. lol

CaptainSolo1138
07-01-2005, 01:46 PM
I believe this is what you speak of. The stuff people won't buy.....

Rocketboy
07-01-2005, 02:49 PM
I believe this is what you speak of. The stuff people won't buy.....Tell me about it.



Where can I get one of those again?
:D

JimJamBonds
07-01-2005, 11:55 PM
I believe this is what you speak of. The stuff people won't buy.....

Yup thats what I am talking about Cap. Umm I know of one person who did buy one of those things Cap... MY FATHER!!!


Where can I get one of those again? :D

Let me rummage through my parents basement and I'll see if I can find it few ya Rocketboy, maybe we can work out a deal! :greedy: :greedy: :greedy:

Bobby Fett
07-02-2005, 01:42 AM
Not appliances, but:

How about the doodad that removes the shell from hard-boiled eggs?

Or the divider that you put in a pie pan to keep the exposed edges of a cut pie from collapsing?

Or the cake pan that makes checkerboard cakes?

Or the automatic apple peeler?

Or the thingamabob that braids beads into a girl's hair?

Or (and this will probably step on a few toes) a Slinky?

Kidhuman
07-02-2005, 01:51 AM
That slinky helped me have years of fun. Not useless at all.

JediTricks
07-02-2005, 03:48 AM
I thought of another one... I don't remember its name but it was some sort of metal tray type device. Its purpose was to speed up the thawing of frozen food, however it didn't have any plug ins or anything like that. You just placed your frozen chicken breast or whatever on the plate and it would thaw quicker then just letting it out and thawing 'naturally.' I remember from the commercial that they showed an ice cube and it melted quicker on that try compared to an ice cube that was just in a bowl. lolWowee, an electroplated chunk of aluminum! :crazed: Yeah, I have never seen anybody buy one of these.



I could not usually get the Slinky to actually walk down stairs, not even in pairs.

JimJamBonds
07-14-2005, 12:23 AM
I'm not about to let this thread die this easily... so in my quest I'll offer another appliance that I quite frankly think is useless: a rice cooker. Why is that needed? Its not as if rice is something all that tricky. Put it in the microwave for 5 min. or on the stove , bam thats it!

Kidhuman
07-14-2005, 12:58 AM
How about a shoe horn....I have fingers that slide my shoes on perfectly if need be

Slicker
07-14-2005, 02:54 AM
Although I use mine quite often there just isn't much of a market for this little item. Link. (http://www.dvdrewinder.com/)

CaptainSolo1138
07-14-2005, 07:52 AM
I'm not about to let this thread die this easily... so in my quest I'll offer another appliance that I quite frankly think is useless: a rice cooker. Why is that needed? Its not as if rice is something all that tricky. Put it in the microwave for 5 min. or on the stove , bam thats it!
Aw, man. You just struck a chord with me, young man :p . Rice cookers are the only REAL way to cook rice. In a rice cooker, the rice never sticks, it "plumps" just right, and you don't get the random uncooked or hard grains. My wife and I are big on Asian food, so our rice cooker is almost always out and in use.

Rocketboy
07-14-2005, 10:09 AM
Although I use mine quite often there just isn't much of a market for this little item. Link. (http://www.dvdrewinder.com/)I use mine all the time.

JimJamBonds
07-14-2005, 11:09 AM
Aw, man. You just struck a chord with me, young man :p . Rice cookers are the only REAL way to cook rice. In a rice cooker, the rice never sticks, it "plumps" just right, and you don't get the random uncooked or hard grains. My wife and I are big on Asian food, so our rice cooker is almost always out and in use.

I think it is kind of funny but the only place I've ever seen a rice cooker being used are at buffets. No random uncooked or hard grains? That sounds good, now somebody needs to do that with a popcorn maker. :)

JediTricks
07-15-2005, 08:25 PM
I actually use my rice cooker all the time, rice isn't as easy as you think to make unless you get prepared instant or parboiled rice which isn't as good (or good for you) and costs upwards of 50 times the price of normal white rice. No matter which process you use - stovetop, nuker, or rice cooker - water will only cook into rice at a specific speed so it'll be done in around 20 minutes no matter what. With the stovetop, you have to be careful not to overcook it or let it boil over causing a flash-up; with the nuker you usually have to use a special rice cooking plastic pot thing that won't burn your rice but may undercook it or not cook it evenly, and you'll get water everywhere most of the time (my mom uses this method, and the constant humidity eventually killed her microwave). The rice cooker is the best, it's almost impossible to get water to flood out the way it does on the stovetop and the microwave, once you've got the measurements right it's pretty much idiot-proof, and since it knows what the temperature is in the pot itself, it avoids hotspots and shuts off by itself when it's done. Plus, the only thing you have to clean is the inside of the rice cooker's pot, and that's easy. My grandma has used hers every day for the past 20 years.


As for shoehorns, they're for a different type of shoe, back in the day when shoes didn't fit so well because they didn't stretch much, I've ripped the flesh off my fingers back in the day with formal shoes trying to get by in a pinch (pun intended) but now I just don't bother with shoes that don't fit. However, even on my athletic shoes, I only buy the ones with a loop on the back to act as a shoehorn, this little invention kicks arse, it's even better than a shoehorn, now I don't have to loosen my laces or anything, just use brute force with this.

JimJamBonds
07-16-2005, 12:20 AM
Well I guess I stand corrected on the rice cooker then. Personally I've never had issues with making rice either on the stovetop or in the microwave. I perfer the microwave, it takes longer but I think it does a better job. I've head 'rice cooker rice' at Chinese restaurants and it seems to do a good job so I don't have a beef with the machine per say. Rather I've never thought that its a device that is needed, but to each his own. :)

Ji'dai
07-25-2005, 06:55 PM
Okay, why is instant rice not as nutritious as regular? I've been eating Minute rice since college and thought I was doing good on the dietary front.

---

I saw this "Chocolate Fondue Fountain" in a catalog this week and thought of this thread. MSRP is $100, but it usually retails for $45-50. Sure enough, I found a couple of pics on the web to show.
Simply fill up the bottom, turn the dial, and watch as warm chocolate pours out over the top of the fountain. Cover strawberries, cake slices, nuts, cookies, graham crackers or whatever you like with a layer of rich chocolate. Measures 15" x 8-1/2" dia.; comes with a 40" ETL approved cord. Great for whenever you're entertaining, or as a sweet gift! Now don't all rush out and get one at the same time, they'll be enough units for everyone.

El Chuxter
07-25-2005, 07:13 PM
Man, oh, man, if ever a thread called for a response of simply, "Your mama," this is it!

lol

JimJamBonds
07-25-2005, 11:50 PM
That looks like it produces the biggest mess known to mankind! I can't see how the fountain makes it any easier compared to a regular fondue... heck screw the fondue and just use a double boiler instead.

Kidhuman
07-26-2005, 12:47 AM
That takes the top prize

Slicker
07-26-2005, 03:31 AM
Wives are a pretty useless appliance. That's why God made dishwashers.

CaptainSolo1138
07-26-2005, 07:48 AM
Wives are a pretty useless appliance. That's why God made dishwashers.
Just when I think you can't get much worse...... :p


That looks like it produces the biggest mess known to mankind! I can't see how the fountain makes it any easier compared to a regular fondue... heck screw the fondue and just use a double boiler instead.
They're a million more times more difficult than fondue. It's just another invention designed by wedding supply companies to rip you off (http://www.chocofountain.com/294730.html). The biggest complaint I've heard about these is that the chocolate "current" rips stuff off the fork. And with stuff like cake it makes it mushy.

mabudonicus
07-26-2005, 08:24 AM
Wow, they even go so far as to pretty much SHOW you how bad of an idea that thing is....
To think, a second-hand, deluxe fondue set could cost less than one tenth the price of that piece of crap

I think I would also give this one the "winner" vote, for this round at the very least

JimJamBonds
07-26-2005, 12:47 PM
They're a million more times more difficult than fondue. It's just another invention designed by wedding supply companies to rip you off (http://www.chocofountain.com/294730.html). The biggest complaint I've heard about these is that the chocolate "current" rips stuff off the fork. And with stuff like cake it makes it mushy.

Did you have a bad experience with one of those at your wedding Cap? :D So do the "double dipping" rules apply to the chocolate fountain as well? :confused:

CaptainSolo1138
07-26-2005, 12:52 PM
Did you have a bad experience with one of those at your wedding Cap? :D So do the "double dipping" rules apply to the chocolate fountain as well? :confused:
No, I didn't have one at my wedding (I'm crazy, not stupid.).

As for "double-dipping", most rentals include an attendent who does the deed for you, insuring only single dipped vittles.

JimJamBonds
07-26-2005, 12:59 PM
As for "double-dipping", most rentals include an attendent who does the deed for you, insuring only single dipped vittles.

Wait a second... an aattendent??? That doesn't match up with the pictures in that link. lol Seems to take away some of the "fun." I'd like that on my resume, "Fruit dipper in chocolate fountain fondue guy."

JediTricks
07-27-2005, 01:57 AM
First off, I may be wrong about the rice nutrition thing, so you can throw that info out the window for now. :p


Second, I think the little chocolate fountain looks kinda cute, I suspect my sister and my mom would probably love that thing... like once, then it'd go live in the closet. If there's an attendant on the big one though, that's total BS.

Rocketboy
08-12-2005, 10:45 PM
Is this (http://www.hopsholster.com/miva/hh002.htm) totally useless (but not necessarily an appliance) or the greatest invention ever?


Yeah, I'm leaning toward the latter also.
:thumbsup:

CaptainSolo1138
08-12-2005, 11:41 PM
Cool? Yes. Practical? Not at all. Aside from your beer getting warm well before a normal person could finish a six pack, you'd have to explain to everyone all nite that the wet spot near your crotch is only condensation.

JimJamBonds
12-26-2005, 12:46 PM
This thread has been dead for far too long, I'm sure there has been useless appliances that we have all looked at that could be added to the list. With that in mind I'll throw out a couple: some sort of automatic potato peeler. I don't recall the name/brand but it was at WM, seems like it would be more trouble then it is worth.

The second item in an odd way I kind of like: a cookie press. You put your dough in a tube and that goes into a caulking type gun. You just squeeze it out and on the end of your gun there are various shapes etc. that the dough goes through thus you have whatever shape is at the end of the gun. Its the same idea as a playdough press.

Ji'dai
02-15-2006, 02:16 PM
My brother got my mom a Magic Bullet (http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?id=prod1159725&CATID=100472&navAction=push&navCount=0&ext=goomagicb#) high-speed blender for christmas but I noticed the other day she still hasn't cracked it open. It's probably destined for the dreaded unused appliance graveyard in the garage attic. It'll have company, there's a soft-serve ice cream maker, a waffle cone maker, a large griddle, a smoothie maker, and I think a George Foreman grill up there last I looked.

---

I also noticed that the Chocolate Fondue Fountain (http://forums.sirstevesguide.com/showpost.php?p=417718&postcount=52) (or knockoffs) have dramatically dropped in price lately. I saw one model for about $20 earlier this week. So if you've been holding out on this one, now's the time to buy ;)

CaptainSolo1138
02-15-2006, 02:27 PM
My brother got my mom a Magic Bullet (http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?id=prod1159725&CATID=100472&navAction=push&navCount=0&ext=goomagicb#) high-speed blender for christmas but I noticed the other day she still hasn't cracked it open. It's probably destined for the dreaded unused appliance graveyard in the garage attic. It'll have company, there's a soft-serve ice cream maker, a waffle cone maker, a large griddle, a smoothie maker, and I think a George Foreman grill up there last I looked.Those Bullets are cool, but anything but practical for someone "cooking" for more than themselves.

also noticed that the Chocolate Fondue Fountain (http://forums.sirstevesguide.com/showpost.php?p=417718&postcount=52) (or knockoffs) have dramatically dropped in price lately. I saw one model for about $20 earlier this week. So if you've been holding out on this one, now's the time to buy ;)I'll get right on that.:rolleyes: :beard:

JimJamBonds
02-16-2006, 01:05 AM
I'll get right on that.:rolleyes: :beard:

Damn there goes my gift for the baby shower. lol

mabudonicus
02-16-2006, 09:00 AM
JimJim, I think the potato peeler was mentioned by me a long way back in this very thread, it was being advertised on TV a lot a few years ago under the name "The Rotato Express"

We actually recieved a fairly useless "appliance" for x-mas- it's a "soup cooker" but would not actually cook soup- it is a 32 oz bowl-like thing that has the same electronics as the aforementiond automatic kettle, so basically you put (I would guess "instant") soup in there and hit the switch, and when it boils it shuts off, which means that to "cook" soup you'd have to repeat the process several times at LEAST... I still can't figure out any use for the damn thing, so if there's an interested party, you know who to contact ;)
:beard:

JimJamBonds
02-17-2006, 12:42 PM
Yeah I had a feeling the "baby gift" idea was already used. :upset:

As far as that gift Mabs couldn't that "soup cooker" be called a 'pot?' :D

Jargo
02-17-2006, 01:58 PM
boil instant soup? egads! any gadget or device made with the express purpose of 'saving time' or being a more 'convenient' option. are inevitably useless. refridgerators with ice makers that require a source of water permanently attached. How much ice can anyone need that would require a steady flow of water? isn't a jugful enough? i mean how much ice do you put in a glass?

I like innovations magazine that you get inside of magazines or drops through your letterbox unsolicited. it's full of useless gadgets that tempt elderly people to part with their pension money. Like TV remote caddies that sit on a revolving base so you can keep em tidy and never lose them. only a douche would lose their remote.
or those shower stall non slip things in the shape of butterflies or flowers and they're tiny. like small child sized. how in gods name would a fully grown man stop himself from sliding about with just a two inch square flower on the base of the shower?
or home acupuncture sets.
or any of those miracle cleaners that magically remove lichen and fifty years worth of staining from your pathways. aha....
or that device you strap to your dog so every time the poor buggar goes to bark he gets a screechingly high pitched wail transmitted to him from his collar. it's just cruel and all it'll do is **** off the dog and then it'll bite someone and then the dog is gone. A bit of owner discipline and patience trains any dog.

um and www.firebox.com (http://www.firebox.com) they have some pretty damn useless gadgets there.

JimJamBonds
02-17-2006, 02:06 PM
um and www.firebox.com (http://www.firebox.com) they have some pretty damn useless gadgets there.

Wow, good call Jargo! I think this is my fav. http://www.firebox.com/index.html?dir=firebox&action=product&pid=1269 :D

2-1B
02-18-2006, 12:29 AM
That's fantastic! "Instant wonga 24/7", what a brilliant concept. I'm going to spend all of my money to buy one, it will be totally worth it since it will pay for itself in no time.

Jargo
02-19-2006, 08:46 PM
http://www.lakeland.co.uk/product.aspx/exclusives!10636

http://www.lakeland.co.uk/product.aspx/solutions/homeoffice!20550

http://www.lakeland.co.uk/product.aspx/populardemand!3576

http://www.lakeland.co.uk/product.aspx/bargains!10487

http://www.lakeland.co.uk/product.aspx/bargains!50013

so they aint exactly appliances but I have to ask who is s lazy they can't make a damn ice cream wafer sandwich, and who needs glowing tumblers? Inflatable gift wrap - oh yes. always in need of that. and of course we all use napkins all the time. those fine linen squares of cloth we can ALL afford. to hide our silk shirts from any spillage. so naturally we all need some form of clip to hold a napkin up because we're all too dumb to be able to figure out how to keep one attached to us.
Hey, why not market those bibs for babies in adult size the plastic ones with the tray at the bottom to catch all the food you drop as you patently haven't mastered the art of eating with cutlery yet. Or how about a button fastening device for those who can't manage that. or velcro strips you can attach to shoes so you don't have to tie laces.
How about a device in the shower that scrubs you down so you don't have to raise a finger. Or small scale travelators to take you from your house to the car.

Y'know I'm heaping scorn on all these gadgets but it occurs to me that whoever markets this crud is laughing all the way to the bank. I think maybe it's time to get together and start coming up with some money spinners here. People will buy any old crud so lets market some more.
GOT MILK? Not any more with the SSG™ Milky-Mustache-Away®. Just $6.99 at all major outlets of crud NOW! Saves on hassle, saves on time!

JimJamBonds
02-19-2006, 10:43 PM
That ice cream press thingy is kinda neat, although I'd never get one myself.

2-1B
03-11-2006, 02:34 AM
That ice cream press thingy is kinda neat, although I'd never get one myself.

So what you're saying is that even though it's awesome, not every home should necessarily have one ? :confused:

El Chuxter
03-12-2006, 10:13 PM
Awesome. I don't know why every home doesn't have one.

2-1B
03-12-2006, 10:25 PM
JimJam was eyeing up a pretty Useless looking Fajita Maker last night.

Looked fantastic. :)

JimJamBonds
03-13-2006, 12:00 AM
Yes, yes I was. Although I will say it was for a silent auction with the profits going to help somebody with cancer. So why not?!?!



Heck Caesar you won a sweet signed Bart Favre pic! :yes:

Kidhuman
03-13-2006, 08:31 AM
Nothing useless about Fajita makers. Every home should have two or three. They are awesome.

Ji'dai
11-14-2006, 12:06 PM
It's that time of year again. Nothing like the holiday shopping season to sucker retailers into stocking shelves of useless appliances and gadgets.

I spotted a couple of pasta cookers at CVS the other day. The first one looked like a blender, but has a heating element in the bottom rather than a motor. Fill the clear container on top with water, bring it to a boil, then pop in the pasta.

The other one didn't have a base for heating the water at all - you had to suppy the friggin' boiling water! Basically you stick the spaghetti in the jar and then fill it with boiling water. Supposedly this cooks the pasta sufficiently, which I guess is possible, since cooking pasta al dente takes about 8 minutes or so?

mabudonicus
11-15-2006, 09:59 AM
Hate to be picky, but that is a JAR dammit, sweet find for this thread!! :beard:Isobaws&

Rogue II
11-15-2006, 11:13 AM
I think I saw a commercial for that thing. It was pretty bad. They made it out that cooking pasta was too hard. The actors spilled spagetti all over the place but that jar thing made it easy.

Ji'dai
11-15-2006, 03:13 PM
I got a Herrington catalog in the mail yesterday; it's kinda like Sharper Image but more upscale and pricier. I think my last order from them was over ten years ago, but the poor bastards keep sending me catalogs, gods bless 'em. Anyway, they had a couple appliances in there that I thought would be good candidates for this thread:

Rhyme of the Instant Marinator (http://herrington-catalog.stores.yahoo.net/h158.html) ($40) - basically a covered dish with an air pump so you can create a vacuum inside. Put the meat & marinade in the dish and then hand-pump out the air. Supposedly it will speed up the marinating and tenderizing process, which usually takes several hours or overnight.

And no home is complete without your very own Muffin Man (http://www.herringtoncatalog.com/h157.html) ($45), which combines a two-slice toaster with a steamer for cooking eggs. You can poach, steam-scramble, and hard boil eggs, warm a slice of ham, plus toast muffins with this one contraption.

JimJamBonds
11-16-2006, 09:25 AM
What about this little number for Fido?
http://herrington-catalog.stores.yahoo.net/y335.html

mabudonicus
11-16-2006, 10:41 AM
Okay, is it just me, or is the "Rhyme of the ancient marinator" just a "male enhancement pump" with a tupperware container??? Notice how they don't show the actual pump in the pic, they hide it with the lid, I bet it has identifying features (and that's as far as I'm goin on that line of thinking)

I don't know what';s worse, the Jar or the Tupper-Pumper :beard:Isobaws&

JimJamBonds
11-16-2006, 01:51 PM
I don't know what';s worse, the Jar or the Tupper-Pumper :beard:Isobaws&


OR you pointing all of this out! :p

mabudonicus
11-19-2006, 11:50 AM
You know, I hadn't thought of it like that, Bonds (JIMJAM Bonds):beard:

But ya gotta admit that I could be onto (not just "on") something, no??
:beard:Isobaws&

2-1B
11-19-2006, 01:45 PM
The computer I used to make all of these 10K+ posts.

Ji'dai
09-11-2007, 01:18 PM
Got three-grand burning a hole in your wallet? Then these are the droids you're looking for:

Nikko Electronics is set to release a 1/3 scale R/C motorized R2-D2 with built-in DVD player, speakers, iPod dock, and digital-media projector.

The projector is located in R2's "eye" on his dome and can project an image up to 254" diagonal, so you can watch your favorite DVD or video game on the wall or ceiling. This R2 also comes with a Millennium Falcon-shaped remote control that can be used to make the droid move forward, turn right or left, go in reverse, turn the dome, and tilt the body to point the projector.

16032

A second version of everyone's favorite astromech features a webcam and comes with a lightsaber-shaped remote that doubles as a USB phone.

Check them both out at Nikkor2d2.com (http://www.nikkor2d2.com/).

Mister Roboto
09-11-2007, 05:50 PM
They showed that at the last electronic expo. Cool, but not 3 grand cool.

JimJamBonds
09-11-2007, 10:33 PM
I'll wait 'till the full sized version comes out.

CaptainSolo1138
09-12-2007, 08:40 AM
I wait til they can give a beej.

JediTricks
09-12-2007, 05:28 PM
Got three-grand burning a hole in your wallet? Then these are the droids you're looking for:

Nikko Electronics is set to release a 1/3 scale R/C motorized R2-D2 with built-in DVD player, speakers, iPod dock, and digital-media projector.

The projector is located in R2's "eye" on his dome and can project an image up to 254" diagonal, so you can watch your favorite DVD or video game on the wall or ceiling. This R2 also comes with a Millennium Falcon-shaped remote control that can be used to make the droid move forward, turn right or left, go in reverse, turn the dome, and tilt the body to point the projector.

16032

A second version of everyone's favorite astromech features a webcam and comes with a lightsaber-shaped remote that doubles as a USB phone.

Check them both out at Nikkor2d2.com (http://www.nikkor2d2.com/).
I liked the idea of it, but they took it to some pretty impractical places adding too much stuff. And the Falcon remote they showed at CIV was friggin' HUGE! Big enough that someone is likely to make a remote for it. :p

JimJamBonds
09-12-2007, 11:19 PM
I wait til they can give a beej.

I thought that is why you keep RB around on such a short leash?

2-1B
09-12-2007, 11:40 PM
That's not a leash...

Ji'dai
11-20-2007, 12:08 PM
Some of my nominees for this year:

Hamilton Beach Quick Dry 4-Shelf Garment Drying Station ($60 at Wal-Mart) - Now I air-dry nearly all of my clothing - all shirts, slacks, and machine-washable jackets - so I know about clothes hanging from shower rods, doorway moulding, unused exercise equipment, doorknobs, or even spring-rolled school maps (have an old one mounted in my bedroom). So this drying station (http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5984252) isn't such a bad idea, but I can't imagine taking this thing apart and putting it back together every time I need to use it. This thing is destined to either be left out all the time to take up precious counter space, or most likely, taken apart after the third or fourth use and left in storage to avoid the hassle of putting it together and adding yet another step to an already boring chore.

GE Three-Tier Rotating Serving Tray ($30 at Wal-Mart) - Even if I did a lot of entertaining I think something like this is really overkill. A tiered tray (http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?dest=9999999997&product_id=7790092&sourceid=1500000000000003260370) saves table space, but you can't really put a lot of food on this model to make it worth the while. The top tier is so small I doubt I could display anything but small cookies or a couple cupcakes on it. Probably be money ahead to just buy another folding table.

USB Toaster (about $40 at specialty retailers) - This single-slice toaster / peripheral conveniently plugs into your desk or laptop's USB port so you can have toasted bread while you compute. Every home should have one.

16319

JimJamBonds
11-20-2007, 07:30 PM
USB Toaster (about $40 at specialty retailers) - This single-slice toaster / peripheral conveniently plugs into your desk or laptop's USB port so you can have toasted bread while you compute. Every home should have one. 16319

Awesome..... simply awesome!!!!!!

JediTricks
11-21-2007, 04:27 AM
Fake.... simply fake.

It's an empty gag box you can buy from The Onion (http://store.theonion.com/gotcha-gift-box-usb-toaster-p-71.html).

USB ports only supply 5v of DC current and a max of 500mA anyway, so even if you could use 2 USB ports to get to 10 volts and 1 single amp, there's not enough power in a laptop battery to get anywhere near enough juice to toast bread. Hell, the average 2-slot toaster uses at least 600w, yet with that USB config the most you can get is 10 watts (and the USB standard won't even give you all that, it'll limit the amps a device can draw across multiple ports to 100mA per port, for a whopping 2w). And that's your knerd-knowledge for the day, courtesy of JT.

TeeEye7
11-21-2007, 04:36 AM
Awww. You burst my bubble, JT! I thought a long last I had a way of toasting my Pop Tarts without having to get up from my computer.....:(

JediTricks
11-21-2007, 05:06 AM
Awww. You burst my bubble, JT! I thought a long last I had a way of toasting my Pop Tarts without having to get up from my computer.....:(
You'll just have to do it the old-fashioned way: a Zippo lighter, some worn out underwear, and a coat hanger.

Ji'dai
11-21-2007, 08:44 PM
Geez, can't put anything over on JT. There are other fake boxes you can buy to drive friends & relatives nuts this christmas:

Rear-view mirror power strip & surge protector (http://pranks.com/2007/11/13/fake-gift-boxes-5/)

Visororganizer (http://pranks.com/2007/11/12/fake-gift-boxes-4/)

My favorites:

28-piece Whisk Set (http://pranks.com/2007/11/11/fake-gift-boxes-3/)

Peaceful Progression Smoke Alarm (http://pranks.com/2007/11/09/fake-gift-boxes/) :D

JimJamBonds
11-22-2007, 11:02 PM
What about a "USB Desk Vacuum Cleaner"

http://www.geekologie.com/2007/11/usb_retro_vacuum_has_no_attach.php

JediTricks
11-23-2007, 06:06 PM
I liked the Visorganizer, it seems halfway believable that some place like The Sharper Image or Brookstone would carry something stupid like that.


What about a "USB Desk Vacuum Cleaner"

http://www.geekologie.com/2007/11/usb_retro_vacuum_has_no_attach.php
Fantastic! This one looks like it could be real, I've seen other USB vacs but never with "style" like this. I love how the cord can wrap around the handle just like the old fashioned ones I used to suffer through as a kid. Still, looks like they sacrificed how much dust it could hold for the aesthetic. It'd be awesome if they put in a tiny speaker that reproduced their horrible "whraaa whraaa whrrraaaaaa" noise. :D

2-1B
03-19-2008, 09:28 PM
What's up with this thing ???

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squat_toilet

CaptainSolo1138
03-19-2008, 09:31 PM
That's gold, buddy. Particularly the "Arguments Against" section.

2-1B
03-19-2008, 09:44 PM
See, I'm torn...

On one hand I often think to myself that I could really benefit from relaxing my puborectalis muscle more often.

On the other hand, what if I am one of the folks with "subpar accuracy"?

It's a good deal of information to reflect upon when installing a restroom.

But man oh man, if you think public facilities in the USA are bad now, just wait til you have people dropping logs SPLAT on that thing and not warshing it down. Jeez.

CaptainSolo1138
03-19-2008, 09:48 PM
I'm one of those people who read, so it'd never work for me.

Also, I'm one of the people they mention who likes to maintain an erection while pooping, and I don't want lil' Cap poppin' up from betwixt the gams unannounced. That's why I needs me a toilet seat to keep the monster tamed. *rawr*

Rocketboy
03-19-2008, 10:12 PM
Considering my knees aren't all that great, I'd probably fall over mid-plop.

Jargo
03-19-2008, 11:02 PM
the vaccuum cleaner is real alright. seen it sold on many a gadget site.

squat dumping is not for me. i can be a long time in the little boys room and that just wouldn't do. not without some kind of harness to keep me elevated enough not to end up sitting in what i dropped. still, i suppose over time you'd develop killer thigh muscles and abs.

CaptainSolo1138
03-19-2008, 11:11 PM
Considering my knees aren't all that great, I'd probably fall over mid-plop.But I'd pay good money to see that. (http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s229/LeetGoose/fail.jpg)

Rocketboy
03-19-2008, 11:21 PM
But I'd pay good money to see that. (http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s229/LeetGoose/fail.jpg)Yeah, probably something like that.
Or when Billy Madison tries to pee in the tiny urinals.

JimJamBonds
04-09-2008, 09:43 PM
While not an appliance per say I caught part of an infomercial where the item in question is a remote controlled boat that has fishing line attached to it. I was in a bar at the time so I couldn't hear what was said but I'm sure it was golden!

CaptainSolo1138
06-10-2008, 11:10 AM
The condiment gun. (http://www.firebox.com/product/2089/Condiment-Gun)

Sweeeeeet.

TeeEye7
06-10-2008, 12:16 PM
The condiment gun. (http://www.firebox.com/product/2089/Condiment-Gun)

Sweeeeeet.

It requires a 10-day waiting period and background check before purchase in California.

JediTricks
06-11-2008, 04:44 AM
It requires a 10-day waiting period and background check before purchase in California.
Do you know how many innocent bystanders have the lives of their clothes cut short by unsafe condiment-gun practices?!? The Brady Bill was put into effect for a reason, we must never forget that painful event when Reagan was covered in catsup, and James Brady can never walk again thanks to the mayonnaise poisoning he suffered on that fateful day!


Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you...

The toast wallet:
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11823.html

The bacon wallet:
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11653.html

Bacon-flavored mints:
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11706.html

Flavorless Nihilist mints:
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11833.html

Bacon-flavored Toothpicks:
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11723.html

Gummy Bacon (strawberry flavored):
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11605.html

Gummy Mustaches (sarsaparilla flavored):
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11609.html

Lincoln-head Lollipop (orange flavored):
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11765.html

JimJamBonds
06-11-2008, 09:18 PM
What about this little fella?

http://www.mcphee.com/items/11095.html

CaptainSolo1138
06-12-2008, 08:25 AM
What about this little fella?

http://www.mcphee.com/items/11095.html
I just spent 20 minutes at that site and I'm really glad that the expendable funds quantity is low at this point in time.

TeeEye7
06-12-2008, 11:49 AM
I just spent 20 minutes at that site and I'm really glad that the expendable funds quantity is low at this point in time.

I think you should free up enough to buy Slick the "US Army Men vs. Commies" set! :thumbsup:

It's a military theme thing!

CaptainSolo1138
06-12-2008, 12:17 PM
I think you should free up enough to buy Slick the "US Army Men vs. Commies" set! :thumbsup:

It's a military theme thing!
Nah. He's getting the Albert Einstein action figure. He can consider it comeuppance for the Noah action figure he got me for my birthday a few years ago.