View Full Version : Heaven's Wedding Gown: (unintentionally) the FUNNIEST show ever!

El Chuxter
11-03-2005, 06:18 PM
Okay, I have to post this in the hopes that someone else with a warped sense of humor like myself watches this, or I can get someone else to watch this so there will actually be someone else in the world other than Mrs Chuxter I can talk to about this train wreck.

Wait, did I say "train wreck"? I actually am not sure that that's a strong enough word for this show.

As a rule, I hate soap operas. So I was a little annoyed about a month ago when Mrs Chuxter for some reason stopped on this show on KSCI (the "International Channel" in LA). But after watching a couple of episodes, I was totally hooked. The show is so ridiculous, it's impossible to turn away from it.

The show takes place in Taiwan and is about 90% in Mandarin. (More on the other 10% later.) It is subtitled in English, and I suspect the subtitles were written by the geniuses most famous for "All of your base are belong to us" and "Star War: The Backstroke of the West."

The writing (and I hesitate to actually use that word) makes Saved by the Bell look like Emmy-winning material, and that horrid translations don't help. (The most eloquent line one character can speak when deeply in love with another character is "I like you.")

The series deals with the sordid world of Taiwan's fashion design industry and motorcycle racing, which somehow end up running into one another at every possible turn. Most of the action deals with Ivy Tau (in some episodes, subtitled as "Tao" -- they can't even be consistent, for God's sake!). Ivy looks remarkably like Jennifer Love Hewitt and is kind of a twit, to put it nicely. Her clumsiness is played up so that it becomes almost superhuman, and her theme music bears an odd resemblance to the music in Benny Hill.

Ivy is torn between two guys (they're too old to be called "boys," but the show's too dumb to really call them "men"), both of whom seem to be nice guys, but both with their heads up their butts.

Harold is the brash motorcycle hero who turns to a shiftless life of crime after being kicked out of the motorcyle association. He's currently trying to protect his friends from Eagle, the most effeminate mobster to ever live.

Eagle is an almost superhumanly great combatant, but prefers to leave the hard work to his brother, Gypsy, who is a nice guy in that he'll rape a girl and then walk off and cry about it and spend several weeks worth of episodes trying to make it up to her. Eagle takes no guff from no one, but don't mess with his pretty-boy hair. He's currently smuggling microchips that somehow make people live longer. Also, for reasons never adequately explained, nearly every other character owes him exactly three million dollars.

The other guy is Arron, who jumps from Mandarin to English and back again effortlessly, and somehow even the characters who don't speak any English never notice. Arron is the heir to and chief designer of a fashion company that will for some reason go under if anyone knows that his former fiancee is not realy dead after supposedly going crazy and seeing an evil clown who made her crash her car.

(Seriously, the "for some reasons" I'm listing aren't, I think, due to the translations.)

Ivy also has a pet rabbit, sometimes called Woo-Long Tea, sometimes Oolong Tea, sometimes some other variation thereof. I only bring up the rabbit because she's always wearing a dress, and when anyone sees her without a dress on, they threaten to spank her because she will get cold. My humor's warped, I find that incredibly funny. :D

I could probably go on for another hour or two mentioning stupid details of this show. But that's not my point. If you happen to see this show on, I highly recommend checking it out.

If nothing else, then there'll be someone else in the world who understands what I'm talking about when I start quoting it, instead of looking at me like I'm an insane idiot. :)

Mandalorian Candidat
11-05-2005, 07:17 PM
Chuxie, you may be alone on this one. Have a cup of Woo-Long Tea on me. :D

12-02-2005, 04:54 PM
OMGoodness! I joined this website just to respond back to you about: Heavenís Wedding Gown. I thought your dissertation on the Taiwanese soap opera was hilarious and in fact, Iím still reeling from it.
The fact that you are right on about so many things makes it irresistible to not make fun of it but in an unintentional way like you said. I figured you must be from S. California because you picked up on it before I did. Although, I very much enjoy the characters and like the plotline, I just have one burning question and hopefully you can answer it because I am a very impatient person by nature and canít seem to find the DVD anywhere in the stores.

ďWho does Ivy end up with?Ē

I think I know itís going to be Harold even though I want her to be with Arron, but if it happens it happens. Someone mentioned in another forum about 2 weddings taking place and it was Harold/Ivy and Arron/Ashley. At that time, I didnít know who the heck was Ashley because she wasnít introduced until yesterdayís episode so, I guess they meant that Arron was going to fall for her. I think they are better suited, but Iíve seen too often people that have a lot in common end up getting married and then divorce because it gets bored after a while. But then again, this is just a soap opera and we all know that the majority of soaps are beyond reality depiction if often very bizarre plots.

So please find it in your heart to tell me. Email me if you have to.


12-07-2005, 10:29 PM
I have never,ever heard of it. Sounds funny though. Those Spanish soap operas are just as good,especially when you add your own subtitles.

El Chuxter
12-08-2005, 12:15 AM
Do you really want me to spoil it? Do you really? Okay, if you say so. I won't even put a SPOILER WARNING because I doubt many folks here are following this:

Ivy ends up with Aron. Woolong Tea is the Rabbit of Honor at the wedding. Harold ends up with some girl who's introduced in (literally) the last 30 seconds of the series. The entire subplot about microchips that prolong life suddenly vanishes into thin air. Okay, I made up the part about the Rabbit of Honor.

I've been trying desperately to find the series on DVD (or even as a download somewhere), but so far have only been able to find it in Mandarin. I'd love to track it down for Mrs Chuxter for Christmas, since we didn't know these Thai soap operas were finite and she missed the final episode. Neither one of us speaking Mandarin, they wouldn't do any good without the award-losing subtitles.

12-08-2005, 05:15 PM
The funniest thing happened to me after I posted up in here. I decided to go to Chinatown to Christmas shop for a few things and see if I can get the DVD somewhere around there. So before I got off of work, I printed out the pic. off the internet and set forth into the unknown (ok, Iím being dramatic). Iím wandering from store to store and I just so happened to see a window display with beautiful Chinese-style dresses that I thought would look cute for my 2 nieces. I went up to the counter to purchase the dresses and I struck up a conversation with the girl behind the counter. I told her I was looking for a certain series on DVD and I pulled out the paper to show her and before I could say anything she ruined it for me! She told me everything. The crazy look that I gave her must have tipped her off that I was ****ed off. Poor thing, she had her father come man the counter and walked me a block and a half to the video store. Since everything was already ruined, I still wanted to purchase the DVD because Iím an impatient person and I donít like waiting forever to get to the end. Sure enough they had it but not with English subtitles, only Mandarin.
So, if you so happened to see any place selling it with English subtitles, please let me know.

Some of my thoughts about the show are:

I love the character: Harold/Hai Nuo (Ming Dao). Whatís not to love about this guy. Heís a hottie!
Is it me or is Gypsy turning out to be sexy? I mean heís no Brad Pitt and all but under that tough guy exterior, heís really soft-hearted, especially where Jean is concerned. If a guy jumps in the river for me, heís a keeper!
Could someone please tell Aaron to kiss Ivy already?!! It seems that Harold loves Ivy more, I mean all the lip locking that Haroldís done with Ivy you can tell he loves the ladies.
Can Ivy please be quiet for once and let Aaron kiss her?
Why do people like to slap Ivy?
Does Ivy like being slapped? I mean the way she threw down on her brother and that sleezy reporter you would think she can whip anyoneís butt.
Lotto and Coffee should get married.
Is Aaron bad luck? I mean all the girls that love him end up crazy, dead, or miserable.
Oh and I love watching Australian and Spanish soaps too! I can recall one that I love so much, it was called: Alba Marina. Beautiful story, but thatís another post (lol).

Thanks, Ani