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sith_killer_99
11-12-2005, 01:30 AM
Dear Mom,

Things are going good here. The Jedi Temple is really big! I wish I had my own room. My room mate wets the bed a lot. Who ever heard of a Jedi who wets the bed?

My lightsaber instructor is a guy named Yoda. He's really short, shorter than me and he's over 800 years old! I think I could take him in a fight, he dosen't look very strong. He kinda freaks everyone out with his big wierd eyes and his big pointy ears. He also talks funny, all backwards and stuff, I guess he thinks it makes him sound wise.

Well, I gotta go, we're practicing meditation techniques and if I become really good, I might be able to see the future!

I miss you,
Anakin

Bel-Cam Jos
11-12-2005, 10:30 AM
Hello Mother,
Something simple. Greetings from the... Jedi Temple. Things are cool here, but this place is, not like home I miss the fun of my pod races.

We have these wizard robes to wear, and they actually let you clean yourself! I got a great haircut with a braid. We don't get to make our own lightsabers yet, but to let you in on a little secret, I borrowed some droid parts (don;t worry, they were already in a trash dispenser) and made a casing for one. Maybe I can send it to you and Threepio could become the galaxy's first Jedi droid!

Remember that dream I told you about? Where I freed all the slaves? Well, I heard that one of the Jedi trials is to free slaves! Who knew? Since I know I'm going to do just that, now I know I'll be a great Jedi! I'll be as powerful as a volcano! A breath of fresh air for the galaxy! When I walk by, people will say "I like him. I'd rather choke and die before he ever hurt anyone."

Anyway, I'm off to practice moving fruit with the Force. Master Obi-Wan has been a little grumpy when I do that on my own, but hey, he's my Master and I am but the learner. His powers are strong! I'm glad he came back.

Bye!

Annie

stillakid
11-12-2005, 11:13 AM
Dear Mom,

I've been feeling down a bit lately. The other day, I was wandering around the Temple, just seeing some of things that I haven't seen before...okay, I was sneaking around where I shouldn't have been. I'm really sorry about that. I won't do it again.

But anyway, I found this book thing and I think it was the script for the next stuff I'm supposed to do. There's a character in there that has my name and everything...well, not everything really. This guy isn't anything like me at all! I don't know who wrote this but do they really expect me to say this stuff? And maybe not afterall. This "new" Anakin is way too old and doesn't even seem to look anything like me.

Mom, I'm worried. I think that somebody has plans to get rid of me and replace me with somebody else! And smear my happy go lucky name while they're at it! What do I do?! Can you get me out of here?

Oops, gotta go. I hear somebody coming down the hall. Talk to you later?

Ani

JediTricks
11-12-2005, 03:12 PM
Dear mom,

That guy you had the crush on who took me away from you, the one who promised he'd take care of me and teach me and all, well he went and got himself killed like 2 days after. Now I'm stuck with his young sidekick who keeps pretending he's my dad, nagging me about every little thing, and I'm sure he thinks he's my best friend by now. And get this, nobody even told me this till after I joined, but I don't get to come visit you or even have personal time, what kind of banthacrap is that? Talk about bait-and-switch, even Watto was never that deceitful! I miss you, and I keep having bad dreams about you marrying some old coot who is missing a leg, how weird is that? I wish I could just come home, but while they say I am fully allowed to leave of my own free will, every time I try they make me take a 3 hour seminar on the benefits of the Jedi Order and how leaving will affect my future, and by the end somehow I get all confused and decide to stay, I swear Master Windu (this big jerk who is one of the top guys here and is always mean to me and giving me dirty looks) is behind one of the curtains in the seminar room using his Jedi mind powers on me. I miss Tatooine so much, I wish I was there right now, every time we go on a mission that takes us to the outer rim I keep asking to take a side trip down to Tatooine, I feel like the Tatooine surface is almost in my reach, I know if we ever get into orbit I'll end up doing whatever it takes to get down to the planet, even if it means stealing a shuttle or escape pod.

Well, I better finish, we're not allowed to send any sorts of letters home so I've used my Jedi powers to convince the laundry guy to hide this among all the soiled robes to sneak it out so he can mail it to you, and I can hear his squeeking laundry cart coming down the hall now.

-Love, Ani

2-1B
11-13-2005, 04:04 AM
a case of misdirected mail.

Jargo
11-13-2005, 06:07 AM
Dear Mom,
I got my lazer sword today it's a real gonzo colour. master Kenobi says I'm not allowed to switch it on yet but in my room I cut out paper doillies with it just for kicks. How wizard is that!

I've been talking with master Yoda and he says my dreams are just nonsense and keeps muttering something about how hard it is to see or change the future but I know I'm going to. I can feel it in head. Almost as if someone is telling me I will. Senator Palpatine invited me round for tea and buns. he has some weird stuff in his place. like naked lady statues and stuff. I think he's seen a lot of the galaxy. He says he's gonna help me towards my future as much as he can. That sounds cool. the other padawans are mighty jealous 'cause I got high powered friends. I got into a fight with one dude, some kinda hairy kid, has breath like a womp rats gas. he tried to say I was Senator palpatines whipping boy but i said the senator isn't like that and accidentally crushed the dudes rib cage with my hands. i guess I don't know my own strength huh? Oh the hairy kid is okay, turns out he didn't need his rib cage cause his lungs are in his butt. This place sure is crazy. if it wasn't true you'd think some chinless bozo with no friends made it all up.....

Gotta go, master kenobi wants me to go clean the latrines. I don't think he likes me much he keeps making me wear this curly red wig and sing and dance.

Love Ani. xxxxx

El Chuxter
11-13-2005, 11:41 AM
Dear Mom,

Last week I got out of the Temple for a while and played around in some garbage races in the underbelly of Coruscant. Then me and Obi-Wan went to this far-off planet where we fought funny aliens and got to meet this guy named Tarkin and I got this wizard living spaceship! Yippee!!

But when I got back, my spaceship died because it was too far from home. And to make things worse, everyone's arguing over whether I had this adventure. Half the people don't want to believe it if it's not on film, and the other half want to try to figure out exactly where in the story of my life this falls.

People are so silly sometimes.

Love, Ani

Mr. JabbaJohnL
11-13-2005, 12:54 PM
Dear Mom,

You know that girl we met on Tatooine, the one named Padme?

Yeah. F***ed her.

- Ani

scruffziller
11-13-2005, 04:09 PM
ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION!!!!!

This thread is being shut down by order of Jedi Council.
No Padawan must have any contact with family members from the outside whatsoever. Attatchment leads to the darkside.:whip:

CaptainSolo1138
11-14-2005, 08:03 AM
Dear Mom,

You know that girl we met on Tatooine, the one named Padme?

Yeah. F***ed her.

- Ani
LMFAO! Your not old enough for that kind of humor, JJL!:D

JimJamBonds
11-15-2005, 11:10 AM
Dearest Mum,

There is this website called SirStevesguide.com and on it there are some guys that make fun of me. They say I have cotton in my mouth and I cry all the time and we both know that isn't the case. It seems not matter what I do somebody has some sort of negative comment on it. I think I'm going to force choke 'em all, that should teach them not to mess with me. While Obi-Wan wouldn't like it if I did it, Palpatine that weird old guy I was telling you about in my last letter actually encourages me to do that sort of thing. I'm not sure what I should do.

I hope you and 3PO are doing well.

Love,
Ani

stillakid
11-15-2005, 11:14 AM
Dear Mom,

I thought you should know that somebody has been sending letters to you with my name on them. You know that I would never call you "Mum," although after they get rid of sweet lil' ol' me, it seems as though my replacement will have some kind of mental disease or somethin'. Bi-something, not exactly sure. It hasn't come up in our science class yet. All they talk about there is Midi-this and Midi-that as if germs ran the universe or somethin'.

Anyway, I want you to know that I love you no matter what happens to the real me. Don't let my "replacement" or any imposters fool you.

love,
Ani

Devo
11-15-2005, 04:00 PM
Young Skywalker,

the enclosed letter was monitored by the jedi high council and we deem your crude use of language, not to mention the content intended for the attention of your mother no less, as unbefitting a member of our order -


Dear Mom,

You know that girl we met on Tatooine, the one named Padme?

Yeah. F***ed her.

- Ani

Furthermore it does not escape our notice that this represents a serious breach of jedi code -You're hereby EXPELLED S**TBAG!!!

Yours happily and sincerely, Mace Windu

stillakid
11-15-2005, 06:01 PM
Young Skywalker,

the enclosed letter was monitored by the jedi high council and we deem your crude use of language, not to mention the content intended for the attention of your mother no less, as unbefitting a member of our order -



Furthermore it does not escape our notice that this represents a serious breach of jedi code -You're hereby EXPELLED S**TBAG!!!

Yours happily and sincerely, Mace Windu


MOM,

SEE!!!! Gee willickers!!! It's happening!!! It's happening!!! They're getting rid of me!!!

Ani

JediTricks
11-15-2005, 06:33 PM
Dear madam,

Although we have never met, you and I share something in common, we both are parental figures to your son, Anakin. I believe you met my mentor, Qui-Gon Jinn, when we visited Tatooine recently, whom you entrusted your one and only son to, and it is my sad duty to inform you that Master Jinn was struck down in battle. However, do not worry, I have taken up my master's charge and will raise your son into a fine Jedi Knight. Enclosed, you will find your son's hair, likely the last remnants of your boy you'll ever have as Jedi Knights are not allowed personal attachments, his awful mop-top hairstyle was thankfully remedied when he officially joined our Order - and let me ask, what kind of parent would let their son out in public looking like that?!?

Sincerely,
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Jedi Knight

Darth Sidious
11-15-2005, 11:01 PM
Dear Mr. Palpatine,
Everything sucks here at the Temple. The other day, I caught Master Windu in a storage closet smoking something called PCP, whatever that is. He told me that if I ever told anyone, he'd throw me out of the Order. I hate him, Palpatine, sometimes I just feel like...I don't know, slicing off his arm while he's about to arrest an evil dictator, or something cool like that.
If that wasn't bad enough, that friend of Qui-Gon's, Obi-Wan, keeps giving me crap about losing my lightsaber. Then he always gets p**sed at me when I laugh at him during lightsaber practice, because I always seem to get him across the waist when he isn't looking. Oh well, I might be the learner now but I'll probably be the master someday. Oh yeah, I had this screwed up dream where I lost my legs and arms and stuff. Not cool.
There are some perks, though. There's this hot blue chick with head tails who keeps walking around. She seems to fancy this clone kid named Bly, though, but he seems like he might end up being abusive or something once he grows up (which he and the other clones seem to be doing a lot quicker than normal for some reason). Sometimes, Bly and the other clones even play this game called "Order 66" where they walk around with those orange and white blasters made by Hasbro and pretend to shoot the Jedi children. I also found this bad*ss black mixing bowl in Kit Fisto's cupboard. I love wearing it on my head and draping myself in black sheets and sneaking into Obi-Wan's room in the middle of the night, then breathing all funny and nudging him in the side with my toe. Freaks the s**t out of him.
Well, thanks for listening to my problems Chancellor, you always seem to care. I'll stop over sometime so you can teach me how to do that cool trick where you kill your dog and bring it back to life. Oh, and don't worry, I haven't told any of the Jedi about that, just like you said. See you around; good luck with that emergency power stuff you keep going on about.
-Ani.
P.S.: Love the cane and the cloak, they really pull your look together.

Ji'dai
11-17-2005, 11:44 PM
with apologies to Allen Sherman…

Hello Mudder - Hello Watto
Here I am at - Camp Ataro
And it's very - entertaining
Master Windu says I'll have some fun if I stop complaining

I went hiking - with Obi-Wan
Battle Droids chased us, and we had to run
You remember - Qui-Gon Jinn
He got kilt and we notified his next of kin

Take me home, oh, Mudder! Watto!
Take me home, I hate Camp Ataro!
Don't leave me, out in the cold
I want to see the suns again before I grow old

Now I wouldn’t, want to scare ya
But in my visions, Tuskens get ya
You remember - my innoculations
But I still got Bothan Redrash with complications

Take me home, I’ll make no noise
Or mess the house, with other droids
Oh please don't make me stay
Master Yoda rides in my backpack every day!

Sweet Watto - Darling Mudder
How's my old friend - that Dug, Sebulba
Let me come home - if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Gardulla hug and kiss me

Wait a minute - hey, there’s Padme!
She’s so pretty and quite the lay
Here she comes now - gee that's better
Mudder, Watto - kindly disregard this letter…

Bel-Cam Jos
11-19-2005, 10:19 AM
Mother:

I've been having dreams about you again. They are horrible, terrible, frightening! You, and Sebulba, and Tuskens, Master Qui-Gon, hundreds of others I've never even seen (or perhaps just a few seconds to the right or left), even me... we've been transformed into miniature people! Trapped in clear cages, held down by a sticky tape or tiny strings. We all are about the width between a thumb and a forefinger, but here's the scary part: only some parts of us can move. Many have grotesque poses, or faces that look little like us. A few even have voices, but they sound as if they're coming from inside a pod racer engine, spoken by a different person!

And the worst part of all, is that there are so many of them! I sense they are warming, on pegs, for all to see and mock and point with disgust. Then, I get images of people grabbing them and keeping them to sell! Or worse, people smashing them, just a little, so no one would want them.

I don't know what to do, Mother. I get a sense that I'm supposed to go into hyperspace on a line and vote, but that makes no sense, right? I guess I'll just wait here, on a peg, for the warmth of your response. Which, by the way, I haven't received any responses from you. I hope these messages are getting through.

I just get so angry sometimes, I want to quit the whole thing. Then, I get a wave of action (that figures...) and it all starts over again. The 300th time, then the 500th time, there's just no stopping it. Any how, I hope this card finds you in mint condition, or some variation of that.

Anakin (Coruscant Message Outfit)

El Chuxter
11-19-2005, 10:24 AM
PS -- Make sure you tell Sebulba the next time you see him that, in my dream, he was a pink bulldog fetus.

Darth Sidious
12-06-2005, 10:18 PM
Dear Palpy,
I'm here at Hoth. Everything's well. It's snowing. Big Surprise. Just choked a guy. Later.
-Darth.

Bel-Cam Jos
07-09-2010, 08:07 PM
Dear Sebastian;
I stole your final time in the limelight, a.k.a. Jedi ghost glow. Na na na!

Redeemed Jedi Anakin.

JimJamBonds
07-09-2010, 09:03 PM
Nice shovel work BJC!

Lowly Bantha Cleaner
07-09-2010, 10:48 PM
with apologies to Allen Sherman…

Hello Mudder - Hello Watto
Here I am at - Camp Ataro
And it's very - entertaining
Master Windu says I'll have some fun if I stop complaining

I went hiking - with Obi-Wan
Battle Droids chased us, and we had to run
You remember - Qui-Gon Jinn
He got kilt and we notified his next of kin

Take me home, oh, Mudder! Watto!
Take me home, I hate Camp Ataro!
Don't leave me, out in the cold
I want to see the suns again before I grow old

Now I wouldn’t, want to scare ya
But in my visions, Tuskens get ya
You remember - my innoculations
But I still got Bothan Redrash with complications

Take me home, I’ll make no noise
Or mess the house, with other droids
Oh please don't make me stay
Master Yoda rides in my backpack every day!

Sweet Watto - Darling Mudder
How's my old friend - that Dug, Sebulba
Let me come home - if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Gardulla hug and kiss me

Wait a minute - hey, there’s Padme!
She’s so pretty and quite the lay
Here she comes now - gee that's better
Mudder, Watto - kindly disregard this letter…

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!