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View Full Version : December 19, 2005: I have stared evil directly in its face



El Chuxter
12-20-2005, 12:54 AM
And I have survived.

Barely.

As I write this, I have just completed watching the Holiday Special for the first time.

Well, not "just." There was about an hour of crying in the shower afterwards.

It was an hour and a half that I still don't have the courage to remember. Between Star Destroyer Commanders who call themselves Imperial Guards and like to take time off to catch Jefferson Airplane, to surreal Wookiee porno, it's all just too much to stomach.

I truly see why everyone says, "It's not as bad as you hear it is. It's worse."

Was the stupid garbage (and I realize I may be insulting my refuse by calling this "garbage") actually supposed to be funny and/or entertaining back when it aired? Did people laugh at the stupid four-armed alien Julia Childs, or find the idiot who kept losing power to be amusing?

What was worse, the freakin' circus act that would not end, or the R2-D2 mockup with no details who apparently was taking Luke to the prom (judging from the makeup).

It was a brief, dark time, in which I prayed for death, and death came not.

I was hoping Fode and Beed could stop by with Jar Jar and Cindel, just to add some respectability to the proceedings.

And just when you think it's over, weird **** with the Wookiees suddenly wearing red bathrobes and Carrie Fisher trying to sing! And failing miserably!

Jeez. I'd go on in more detail, but it's hurting my mind to recall details.

drsidious
12-20-2005, 01:09 AM
ahh yes...the wookie porn.
the special was kinda like sucking on an industrial
size tube of preperation h for a couple hours.
loved that sweet falcon cockpit tho.

bobafrett
12-20-2005, 06:55 AM
And I have survived.

Barely.

As I write this, I have just completed watching the Holiday Special for the first time.

Well, not "just." There was about an hour of crying in the shower afterwards.

.

Quote of the day my friend! ROTFLMAO! I was given a copy several Christmas's ago, and I turned it off after fast forwarding it to the Boba Fett cartoon which I was told was the only good segment. I couldn't make it through the lame acting, and the Wookies talking to each other with no clue as to what they were saying.

JEDIpartner
12-20-2005, 08:15 AM
So... does this mean that you actually PURCHASED a copy of this on eBay or something?? :eek:

El Chuxter
12-20-2005, 08:37 AM
No, thank God. If I'd spent money on it, I'd be tracking down the seller to kick him in the goods. A friend of mine got this, as well as the original Original Trilogy on DVD as a gift a few months ago, and passed them along to me to watch and/or copy as I chose.

Now that a little time has passed, I understand why Lucas wants to destroy every copy of this. If anyone has his home phone number, I'll call him up and offer my help. I can volunteer 30-40 hours a week to travel around the country, destroying bootleg Holiday Special DVDs.

This wasn't even in the "so bad, it's funny" category. And I had nightmares of Bea Arthur singing belligerent aliens out of the cantina.

Speaking of which, what was with the word "friend" being dropped clumsily about 4,562,912 times during this fiasco?

Ackmeena*: Just one more round, friend. You're a true friend. Let's dance, friend. Goodnight, friend.

Boba: We need the antidote, friend. Friend, you'd better stay out of sight. Luke is my friend.

Chris: Solving your problems isn't our line.
Vin: We deal in lead, friend.

Wait, that last one wasn't even from the bloody Holiday Special! And it's a cool line! This has really messed my mind up.

* -- I only know Ackmeena's name because she's in one of the Visual Guides. Seriously.

JimJamBonds
12-20-2005, 09:56 AM
About 5 years ago Caesar lent me his copy, it still brings back nightmares if I think about it too much. I don't remember how long it was but I know I couldn't get through the entire special. Thanks for bringing up that painfull painfull memory there Chux! :D

CaptainSolo1138
12-20-2005, 10:23 AM
Was the stupid garbage (and I realize I may be insulting my refuse by calling this "garbage") actually supposed to be funny and/or entertaining back when it aired? Did people laugh at the stupid four-armed alien Julia Childs, or find the idiot who kept losing power to be amusing?
Quote of the week, easy, and it shall be designated as such.:thumbsup:

My "favorite" part of the Holiday Special is the entire first half hour of nothing but wookie growls. Who the f**k thought that was a good idea? At least on the boot-leg copy of Slicker's that I watched there were a ton of old school SW toy commercials. Though not redeeming or vindicitive, at least it made the DVD worth the five cents it cost to produce it.

Lazer Brain
12-20-2005, 11:43 AM
my wife ...lovingly got me this about 3/4 years ago from a friend who was going to throw it out.... oh , if it only completed its trip to the bin. i only watched about 5/10 min before my insides began to leave the room without me. is the boba fet cartoon worth it? i did not know there was one , i have yet to finish watching it fearing i might burn my whole collection before the next daybraek.
later

El Chuxter
12-20-2005, 11:48 AM
The animation on the Boba Fett was absolutely incredible. I was shocked, since Nelvan also did the Ewoks and Droids cartoons, which weren't exactly the best in the world.

The story in that segment was fairly solid, though it's completely been nullified by both later EU and the Prequels. The only drawback is that, about halfway through it, Lumpy apparently gets excited and starts howling, and it cuts to him interacting with one of the incredibly ineffectual Imperial Officers and trying to cover up the fact that he has a "video" of Rebel activity.

Patient Zero
12-20-2005, 12:02 PM
That video alone is a compelling argument against being a SW completist. I can't believe I still hear fans grumbling that they want it rereleased.

Listen people! Having something that rare only makes you cool if it doesn't completely suck. :yes:

vader68
12-20-2005, 01:07 PM
I can remember watching it on TV when I was a kid. I was so excited, a TV show with Star Wars, I thought how cool. But what a piece of crap. Even as a kid I thought it sucked. But now when I think about it, I want to stick my head in the Microwave and put it on high. How anyone would want this thing rereleased is beyond me. They obviously have issues they need to work out.:stupid: :stupid:

vader121
12-20-2005, 02:54 PM
I made the mistake of buying a copy several years ago at a flea market. I watched it once and actually sat through the whole thing. That is an acheivement in hindsight. I let my boss borrow it and he never returned it. I didn't mind at all. However the commercials were very cool. Cartoon was good but not great.

Maybe someone like Peter Jackson could do a remake of it. :razz:

Rogue II
12-20-2005, 03:22 PM
Gee, Chux, talk about slamming your family jewels in the refrigerator door. What would possess you to watch the whole thing?

A couple years ago, I downloaded it via Kazaa. I couldn't stand the pain. I saw the cartoon, but didn't make it through the Wookie scene. Or, if I did, that part of my memory was lost when I started hitting my head with a large wooden mallet. I'm sure the files are either burned to a CD or still on my old computer's hard drive, but I can't bring myself to look for it.

I don't remember seeing it as a kid, so I suppose I should send my mother flowers for not letting me watch it.

wedge1968
12-20-2005, 08:38 PM
I forced all of my friends to watch it one night before Christmas. Somehow, they are still my friends. I think that the only thing that saved our sanity was the fact that the quality was so bad, you couldn't see some of the really cheesey things.

DarkArtist
12-21-2005, 11:49 AM
Yeah the first and last time I saw it was when it aired and like many, I sat there dumbfonded with a WTF expression on my face. Now if I have the erge to watch it I go to the downloaded Cartoon part and turn it off just as quick. I not sure what Lucas was thinking with that piece of crap but, hey for those of us that witnessed it, it will be memory that is forever scorched into the back of our retenas.

If you go on Limewire.com and type in boba fett cartoon in the search you should be able to get a copy of just the cartoon.:thumbsup: The only good part of the Holiday Special.:thumbsup:

El Chuxter
12-21-2005, 12:03 PM
I not sure what Lucas was thinking with that piece of crap. . . .

He wasn't. George had nothing to do with this mess, and he's said he'd like all copies destroyed.

Rebo's_Guitarist
12-21-2005, 08:02 PM
Someone wanna send me a copy? Id LOVE to see it.....

El Chuxter
12-21-2005, 11:36 PM
No, you wouldn't. You only think you do, as I once did.

JimJamBonds
12-22-2005, 10:26 AM
No, you wouldn't. You only think you do, as I once did.

I second that Chux, although you want to see it you really don't! It is an experience that is better not experienced. :D

CaptainSolo1138
12-22-2005, 10:30 AM
I see it as a "Rite of Passage"-type thing. The Steve Miller Band said it best: "You've got to go through Hell before you get to Heaven.":D

JimJamBonds
12-22-2005, 10:35 AM
Graduating from HS is a rite of passage, the first time you vote is a rite of passage. What you are suggesting Cap is more along the lines of self inflicted pain so some god will stay happy with you.

DarkArtist
12-22-2005, 11:19 AM
Lucas had to have something to do with, the ideas and characters were copyrighted to him before the show was released. So whoever wrote the story and directed had to have gotten releases to use the characters and such. Whether lucas actually read the script is another thing.

Plus there is also the idea the Lucas said he had nothing to do with it after the backlash of fans who trashed the show.

In any case, the show is a steaming pile of dewback crap, with the exception fo the cartoon that is, which after reading this forum, I watched it again last night. still great after all these years. Now there's a toy line screaming to get made.

But I also have a question, it says the Talsmen virus affects humans, true at the time n one knew what Boba Fett was, but now that we know he s an unaltered clone of Jango, wouldn't the virus affect him as well. Or did his armor protect him, or are clones imune to human symptoms and affects of viruses ?

JimJamBonds
12-22-2005, 11:54 AM
But I also have a question, it says the Talsmen virus affects humans, true at the time n one knew what Boba Fett was, but now that we know he s an unaltered clone of Jango, wouldn't the virus affect him as well. Or did his armor protect him, or are clones imune to human symptoms and affects of viruses ?

I'd say it should affect Boba as well, maybe his suit of armor is sealed air tight thus nothing can 'get in there'? :D

El Chuxter
12-22-2005, 12:03 PM
The Holiday Special has been pretty much completely invalidated by later EU and by the Prequels. All that's left is the fact that Chewie's immediate family is Malla, Lumpy, and Itchy (or their post-HS full names, Mallatobuck, Lumpawarrump, and Ittichitkuk), and that the night bartender at Chalmun's Cantina is an older woman named Akmeena and one of the regular customers is a Snivvian named Zutton.

20th Century Fox owned the copyright to Star Wars when this was made, and the principal actors were under contract. Lucas wasn't involved. Check the credits.

Rocketboy
12-22-2005, 12:35 PM
Plus there is also the idea the Lucas said he had nothing to do with it after the backlash of fans who trashed the show.But he hasn't denied Jar Jar. :D

Rogue II
12-22-2005, 12:45 PM
Check the credits.

No way! That would involve watching at least part of this thing again.

DarkArtist
12-22-2005, 01:06 PM
I don't think Lucas will ever say he had nothing to do with Jar Jar since his sone came up with the name. I also remember reading that Jar Jar was his answer to the Ewoks in ROTJ, to make the movie more kid friendly.

Rebo's_Guitarist
12-22-2005, 07:24 PM
Bah, I still want to see it......

Slicker
12-22-2005, 09:25 PM
Bah, I still want to see it......I'd recommend you watch it. I actually threw it in the other day to watch some of the Cantina footage and even though I skipped chapters it still made my brain hurt. I don't think it helped that the first time I watched it the sound was off by about a second and a half making it even more unbearable. The only redeeming factor of my copy, as has been pointed out, was the old commercials that are on it.


Rebo, if you want to see it that bad just PM me and I'll see about sending my copy to you for a viewing.

Slicker
12-23-2005, 07:53 PM
Happy Life Day! (http://carriesings.ytmnd.com/)

JediTricks
12-24-2005, 02:31 PM
Wow, I had forgotten how bad that part really was, and I have been telling everybody how bad I remembered it for quite some time now, so that's REALLY bad.

bobafrett
12-24-2005, 10:29 PM
Oh my God. I think I am going to kill myself. And that picture, poor old harrison looks like he doesn't want to be there, and why is a Royal guard wearing a Chewbacca mask? I never made it that deep into what has yet to be viewed by me in it's full form.

DarkArtist
12-26-2005, 05:05 PM
So on Christmas Eve while driving to my sister's house for snacks and stuffing stockings for my nieces, oh and i was listening to 92.3 K-Rock radio for anyone in NJ, what do I hear but the Cantina Bar song from the Star Wars Holiday Special, sung by Bea Arthur. Talk about a nightmare. My wife actually forced me to listen to the whole song since she was born after the horror of the show. lucky for her.

El Chuxter
12-27-2005, 05:32 PM
I subjected my brothers-in-law to this horror when they came up. Out of human decency, I couldn't go beyond Lumpy taking out the garbage. However, I did get one of them to reneg his previous statement that The Phantom Menace is the worst SW film ever.

MrMet
12-27-2005, 08:55 PM
I don't think Lucas will ever say he had nothing to do with Jar Jar since his sone came up with the name. I also remember reading that Jar Jar was his answer to the Ewoks in ROTJ, to make the movie more kid friendly.

I remember reading in a magazine circa summer 98 bthat lucas belived all children would be speaking like Jar Jar by the time they went to school in sept 99. He was very proud of the Jar Jar character for some unknown reason. Explains why he was never killed off. Lucas is a stuborn, stuborn man!!!!

JediTricks
12-27-2005, 09:42 PM
I subjected my brothers-in-law to this horror when they came up. Out of human decency, I couldn't go beyond Lumpy taking out the garbage. However, I did get one of them to reneg his previous statement that The Phantom Menace is the worst SW film ever.
The Holiday Special is not a film, nor is it even shot ON film, that's another "endearingly bad" quality about this POS, they shot it on '70s videotape which looks like putrid arse.

Mad Slanted Powers
12-27-2005, 10:38 PM
I recall seeing it when it was new, but I don't really remember much. I know the cartoon was cool. I can't remember if I had actually seen Star Wars yet, and if I had, it was only once when it was re-released at the drive-in. Thus, anything new and Star Wars probably seemed cool to me back then. I don't remember hating it.

I listened to the song in that link. Not the best piece of singing, but most of it wasn't too bad, as long as she wasn't trying to hit the higher notes. I imagine it would seem worse with video and appearing in the middle of something like Star Wars.

No matter how bad it is, I'd still like to see it again someday.

scruffziller
12-28-2005, 01:43 PM
The animation is very similar to that of The Simpsons on their test pilot episode. I watched a little bit of it. I have it on my computer. What I saw wasn't great but didn't seem as bad as you guys are talking about. And it is not worse. It isn't anything to write home about. However I am scared to watch it in its entirety.:D

Slicker
12-28-2005, 03:00 PM
For those that may not have seen the Boba Fett cartoon that's in the Holiday Special I took the liberty of uploading it for ya. Enjoy.:thumbsup:

Fett cartoon. (http://www.zippyvideos.com/8891052562891926/star_wars_holiday_special_boba_fett_cartoon/)

Also here's Goodnight But Not Goodbye.

A.K.A Chux's favorite song. (http://www.keepmyfile.com/download/ec44dc326203)

And in the words of Nick Burns. YOUR WELCOME!!

Mad Slanted Powers
12-28-2005, 07:48 PM
Well, nothing in that cartoon was familiar, other than the fact that Boba Fett pretended to be a friend, and then turned out to be an enemy. Also, the voice of that captain at the beginning sounded familiar. Perhaps from some other cartoon or sci-fi show I watched as a kid.

bobafrett
12-28-2005, 10:06 PM
Thanks Slicker, it was nice to see that cartoon again, without having to put the copy of the "Christmas special" in my VCR.

I love the imperial presence shown by the Stormtroopers!

Slicker
12-29-2005, 12:37 PM
Not a prob Frett. I'm just hopin' that I don't cause any permanent damage with that Bea Arthur song.:eek:

Rebo's_Guitarist
01-10-2006, 09:34 AM
Dude, I think you forgot to send me part of it............the part that actually has a point..........now I can say that Ive seen it........and that I have found something terrible enough to make me rub broken glass in my eyes..........it will be on its way home very soon...

Kidhuman
01-10-2006, 09:50 AM
LMAO, that was damn funny. I dl'd the BOba Fett cartoon a few years back and HAVE NOT DARED to get the rest. My recycle bin spit it back out actually. It wouldnt even go away when I F-disced it.

Slicker
01-10-2006, 11:53 AM
and that I have found something terrible enough to make me rub broken glass in my eyesI'm glad I could help.:yes:

Jargo
02-10-2006, 06:49 AM
Ugh ugh! *sticks knives in ears* make it STOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!

I watched the HS once. A bad copy that was all grainy and bad and horrible and nasty. I sat like a man facing a juggernaut all the way through. noting every half hour that passed between people giving a line of dialogue. past the awful songs, the ugly and intensely annoying wookiee child and old man. past the awful 'I don't want to be here but i'm being paid so might as well' acting of the 'stars'. I barely saw the boba fet cartoon because what had passed before was still burning my mind. And then more. Mark hamill looking like an advert for Revlon make-up, Harrison Ford more wooden than something he made in his carpentry workshop. And no-one looking like they actually knew what the hell they were doing. It seemed like it lasted 24 hours and sapped the will to live right out of me. The guy in the cantina who pours the drink in his head was too much. The Wookiee home was like every sitcom home you ever saw with a few 'space age' bits of tin foil added for the hell of it. The whole thing looked like it had been cobbled together in a couple of hours. It's a moribund affair and best viewed with the aid of a strong alcoholic drink in large quantities or a bottle of tranquilisers close at hand.

They say curiosity killed the cat well the HS may just kill your curiosity and you too. when you slip the disk in the player, prepare for brain melt....

JimJamBonds
02-15-2006, 11:17 AM
Harrison Ford was on Conan recently and here is a clip where they talk about the Holiday Special!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvx2ujk_BQc&search=harrison%20ford

Kidhuman
02-15-2006, 11:49 AM
That was damn funny, the horror in that 10 second bit and Fords reaction sums it all up.

bobafrett
02-15-2006, 02:55 PM
That was halarious, thanks JJB! I always wondered how the stars who were in that dreadful waste o' time felt about it, and Harrison seemed very uncomforatable. I love it!

Slicker
02-15-2006, 03:03 PM
I love how he got so uneasy when it was brought up. That's some good stuff JJB#2 (have to bring back the #2 monicker since the original JJB is back. Sorry).

Mad Slanted Powers
02-15-2006, 06:35 PM
The video is way behind the audio when I watch that, so it ends before I see the whole thing. I guess that could be a good thing since the actual clip from the Holiday Special hadn't been shown yet.

El Chuxter
12-28-2006, 12:16 PM
Man, this brings back memories.

Memories best left buried! :mad:

I had the odd idea that something that could actually be funny would be if some talented amateur were to make a "Special Edition" of the Holiday Special, inserting cutting edge CG and crazy little easter eggs that refer to the prequels (like a Life Day card from Yoda on Chewie's desk). Maybe replace Jefferson Starship with Green Day or some other wildly inappropriate band, and drop in a Wookiee during the Wookiee porn scene so it's less disturbing. Overdub Vader screaming, "Nooooooooooo," in the middle of the circus scene.

No, wait, it'd still suck.

Rogue II
12-28-2006, 12:32 PM
No amount of CGI and re-editing could save that thing from its bad script and poor acting. Didn't you see the prequels?

My wife asked about the Holiday Special a couple weeks ago. I can't remember if some show she was watching mentioned it or she saw the list with "Holiday Special Boba Fett" on it. Either way, I don't think I fully explined how much it sucked. I showed her pictures from of the Holiday Special that are in Star Wars Chronicles. One picture of Mark Hammel in the X-Wing outfit makes him look like a woman.

DarkArtist
12-29-2006, 07:38 AM
my sister was telling me that she read in a magazine the top ten worst holiday specials to watch and the Star Wars Holiday Special was #1.

the sad thing is that I remember watching it when it first aried on TV and many years later, at a convention is Cherry Hill, I actually bought a copy of it for about $5.00. the only redeaming grace this VHS had was that it still had all the original commercials and the trailers for ANH, ESB, and ROTJ.

the only remaining thing of the Holiday Special that I still own is a copy of the Boba Fett Cartoon, perhaps the only thing that's worth saving. My friend who is a huge Carrie Fisher Fan actually has a recording of her singing the Light Day Song on his computer. Quite Scary.

Mad Slanted Powers
12-29-2006, 07:27 PM
There was a reference to the Star Wars Holiday Special in the Sally Forth comic strip this morning.

bobafrett
12-29-2006, 11:21 PM
There was a reference to the Star Wars Holiday Special in the Sally Forth comic strip this morning.


Can you scan it to share with the class?

Mad Slanted Powers
12-30-2006, 01:54 AM
In the words of Nute Gunray, "Is that legal?" Well, here it is anyway (if I get it to work).

Also in comics news, another strip that has had many Star Wars related strips will be going to Sunday only. Fox Trot won't have the daily strips anymore. The local paper doesn't carry Fox Trot on Sunday, so I'll have to make sure to check online if I want to see it anymore. I never think to look, so I never see the Sunday ones.

bobafrett
12-30-2006, 07:34 AM
Thank you MSP, but they are in for a short Christmas tradition!

JediTricks
12-30-2006, 11:55 PM
I am truly shocked! I had no idea there were jokes in "Sally Forth".

Mad Slanted Powers
12-30-2006, 11:59 PM
You've taken your first step into a larger world.

Rocketboy
12-31-2006, 01:58 PM
I am truly shocked! I had no idea there were jokes in "Sally Forth".I had no idea people read Sally Forth!
Next you'll tell me people read Family Circus and Marmaduke.

CaptainSolo1138
12-31-2006, 02:50 PM
Next you'll tell me people read Family CircusAre you serious?! I can't get enough of the "Not Me" bit!



:rolleyes:

El Chuxter
12-31-2006, 02:58 PM
I read Family Circus religiously. . . .

. . . when I was six.

(Ha! You thought "read" in the first sentence was pronounced with a long "E" sound, didn't you?)

JediTricks
12-31-2006, 03:58 PM
The only reason the Family Circus exists is to fill a large amount of dead space on the page.

I don't believe in Marmaduke, that strip does not exist, it's just a group hallucenation.

Mad Slanted Powers
12-31-2006, 05:02 PM
Our paper doesn't have Marmaduke, and it only has Family Circus on weekends.

Kidhuman
12-31-2006, 08:52 PM
The only Family circus worth reading was the dotted lines ones where you had trace his steps and even then the punchline wasnt worth it

El Chuxter
12-31-2006, 08:53 PM
I seem to recall some Far Sides that made amusing fun of those.

CaptainSolo1138
01-01-2007, 10:54 AM
The only Family circus worth reading was the dotted lines ones where you had trace his steps and even then the punchline wasnt worth itHELL YES! I love following the antics of Billy and tracing his gravity defying steps with my finger.

Mad Slanted Powers
01-01-2007, 07:33 PM
It seems I had forgotten about a SW Holiday Special reference in Sally Forth in December 2005. http://www.wayawesome.com/blog/?p=127 has a copy of the strip. So, when Sally asked "When did watching the Star Wars Holiday Special become our Christmas Tradition," Ted should have answered "last year" instead.

El Chuxter
01-01-2007, 08:04 PM
I am totally going to PhotoShop that strip to somehow mention the Wookiee Porn.

Kidhuman
01-01-2007, 09:49 PM
That comic was much better.

General_Grievous
01-02-2007, 05:38 PM
I've seen a good chunk of the Holiday Special on YouTube. I am now blind in one eye. Whew, that was awful. I was even offended (by both wookiee porn and Carrie Fisher singing)!!