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View Full Version : Why do cell phone ringtones suck so bad?



El Chuxter
01-23-2006, 01:25 AM
Mrs Chuxter and I got new cell phones today, and we're not the type to buy lots of useless toys for them. (Not talking about the Saga II type of toys, but stupid garbage like text messaging and lo-res cameras and such.)

Nor would we be the type to download a new ringtone every week, like I heard about people doing. But the phone comes with a bare minimum of wallpaper and ringtones, likely to entice you to go online and buy ones that don't suck. For wallpaper, no biggie. If they don't come up with a Mandalorean skull or Decepticon logo, I can live with the simple clock.

I went to look at, err, listen to tones online to see if there was anything worthwhile. I don't mind buying one to last as long as the phone. But the selection sucks harder than the selection of CDs at the average Best Buy nowadays, and the quality? YEESH!! Ten years ago, when someone made a bad synthesized version of a song, and had bad synthesized sax or keyboard replacing the vocals, we didn't called them "ringtones." We called them "Muzak," and it was something to be loathed and despised, not gobbled up and blasted for everyone in Target to hear when you get a call.

Seriously. A lot of songs went through my mind that had strong instrumentals, and of the maybe 7% that were actually available, they were bloody Muzak!

Wouldn't it make sense to put some instrumentals, so you don't have to muck around with them too much to make them work on a phone? (Who wouldn't think a cell phone playing "Peaches en Regalia" would be freakin' sweet?)

Maybe I'm PO'd that I can't get "Duel of the Fates" or "Battle of the Heroes," since Lucas licensed them to another cell company. But I should be able to find something. As it is, the only one that doesn't sound like something I'd tune out in an elevator is the theme to Sanford and Son, which is cool, but not worth paying for.

decadentdave
01-23-2006, 01:37 AM
Chuxter, you need some Chuck Norris ringtones. Everytime it rings it says CHUCK NORRIS!

Kidhuman
01-23-2006, 03:57 AM
Cell phones are crap IMO. I am glad I never bought one.

Slicker
01-23-2006, 06:34 AM
Also last I checked cell phones were for phone calls. When I switched plans I went into the store and literally told them that I want a phone that I can talk to other people on and that's it. So what does the associate do, she tries to sell me one with a camera. Whatever. It's all overrated, although Tmobile does have Napoleon Dynamite ringtones.

El Chuxter
01-23-2006, 09:43 AM
Yeah, the guy was shocked that I didn't want text messaging and a camera and such. The only extra I could see was a phone that doubles as an MP3 player, but at this point, they're hella expensive and have very little memory, so I'd just get a separate MP3 player when I want one.

Text messaging seems really ludicrous to me, because it's what people used to do before cell phones, when they had these little devices called "pagers." When cell phones became prominent and affordable, pagers more or less disappeared. But now cell phone carriers are stepping back, and charging more for it because they're hyping it as something cool for the kids! It's like if Ford suddenly released a car that was on rollers instead of wheels and said it was the latest thing and well worth the $5000 extra it cost. :rolleyes:

If I can't get a cool one, I'm more than fine with the standard ring. The default wallpaper was an animation of cute fuzzy animals--as crazy as it sounds, if there wasn't an obviously Photoshopped dog mixed in, I'd be fine with ferrets and baby seals, too. (But there's a plain old clock, too, which is all I need. That dog was freaky.)

I pretty much use it to call family on both sides (all of whom are long distance but luckily have the same wireless carrier) and quick, "Hey, I'm in Wal-Mart, and they've got ________ from the _______ line." :)

DarthQuack
01-23-2006, 10:49 AM
I only have a cell phone, no regular phone for me, bill is usually around 50 bucks a month which I can live with since I always have a signal.

JimJamBonds
01-23-2006, 12:19 PM
Preach on brother Chux!

CaptainSolo1138
01-23-2006, 01:22 PM
You know which ringtone I hate most?

The one halfway through class for the girl wearing Uggs with her jeans tucked into them. Then she gives a "WTF are you looking at, Dr. Professor?!?!?" look and turns it to vibrate, where it should be anyway since they're always carrying it in their paw so people will say "WOW! You've got a cellphone?! You must be real important!".


Man, it's a good thing I'm not bitter.....

Rogue II
01-23-2006, 01:59 PM
Mrs Rogue II and I just got new cell phones a couple weeks ago. I had my old one for 2 years. It was the old black & white screen-nothing fancy, even when it was new. It never occured to me to change the background until you mentioned it in your post. I had 5 choices...2 Cigular backgrounds, a dog, a snowboarder, and a calender. I went with the calender.

For the ringtone, I'm using the default bell. Anything else would just confuse me.

Deoxyribonucleic
01-23-2006, 02:32 PM
I have a cellphone and my carrier is Cingular and I downloaded about 5 star wars ringtones for mine and they are the actual music from the movies. They sound great and that's enough for me. But already I've lived many many years without one and I'm still fine. lol It is nice to have though just in case my Mom needs me and I can talk to my girlfriend for free 'cause she has the same plan! But that's about all I use it for.

Overall though, I despise talking on the phone for any length of time...any phone! I'm just not a phone person for the most part! I don't even have an answering machine on my house phone, no call waiting...nothing but the cheapo phone service and that suits me fine.

What I've noticed about cellphones too is that they are a tool to make people extremely RUDE!! They talk on them EVERYWHERE! I know, let's go to a restaurant and talk on the phone while your server is trying to take your order for food which is why you are there in the first place...IDIOTS! Or let's talk on the phone in a public place REALLY loud so that everyone can here your freakin' conversation and be really annoyed because of your loud mouth!

JimJamBonds
01-23-2006, 02:34 PM
I hate all those crappy ringtones, its one thing if its some bad song but when its Bach (I ain't talkin' bout Sebastain) or something like that I shudder and cry. I just have a plain old regular ring as my RING! :yes:

Slicker
01-23-2006, 04:26 PM
What I've noticed about cellphones too is that they are a tool to make people extremely RUDE!! They talk on them EVERYWHERE! I know, let's go to a restaurant and talk on the phone while your server is trying to take your order for food which is why you are there in the first place...IDIOTS! Or let's talk on the phone in a public place REALLY loud so that everyone can here your freakin' conversation and be really annoyed because of your loud mouth!I couldn't have said it better.

JediTricks
01-23-2006, 04:56 PM
My phone came with a few musical synth ringers, and the actual rings it has are recordings of phones and stuff, none of which reminds me to answer the phone and are all much harder to hear than just the regular built-in tones. Ringtones are amusing at first, but they seem like nobody ever is really clued in when their phone is actually ringing which makes them STUPID.


By the way, I helped my sister choose a new Verizon cellphone 'cause she wanted an MP3 player but didn't have the time to see which ones had the feature, I found her one that had a basic MP3 player function and took SD cards for the memory, that is the best way to go, removable, universal media up to 4 gig.

bobafrett
01-24-2006, 12:11 AM
I was against getting a cell phone, but when I moved to my new place and was setting up my land based phone, I was talked into tryig a cell phone. My plan is just 300 minutes, and I use it to call my son in the morning to make sure he is up for school, or to reach him if he is getting close to being late for his curfew, or just to find out where he is. The phone has also come in handy at my secons job. I deliver pizza, and on occasion the customer does not hear the doorbell or me pounding on the door, and in the past I have had to drive back to the pizzeria, or find a phone, costing me valuable time. Now I just call from my cell phone.

I also have cingular, and bought the "Imperial March" ringtone and have a Stormtrooper for wallpaper.

Captain Spoon
01-24-2006, 09:09 AM
I swear one day the cell phone copany's all gathered together and someone said "you know what I bet everyone in this country's favorite song is Feliz Navi f'n dad!" so all the other comapny's were like "your right, we should make sure every cell phone ever comes with feliz navidad hard programmed into it for a ring tone. That is brilliant". burn in hell cell phone companies, ....burn in hell :razz:

CaptainSolo1138
01-24-2006, 11:05 AM
Bach (I ain't talkin' bout Sebastain)There it is. I finally have criteria set for when I will purchase a cellphone: When the entire Skid Row catalog is available as free ringtones. Thanks, JJB #2!:D

JimJamBonds
01-24-2006, 11:42 AM
There it is. I finally have criteria set for when I will purchase a cellphone: When the entire Skid Row catalog is available as free ringtones. Thanks, JJB #2!:D

Glad I could be of service Cap. :D

Jargo
01-24-2006, 01:30 PM
Mobile phones they call 'em over here. big business, very big business. They reckon there are four or five phones to every person on this island. and they all play crappy choons. I had one that was basically a portable payphone. on a pay as you go tarif. Then a friend gave me a newer model with camera and wallpapers and ringtones and all kinds of gimmicky gadgets on it. I still use it like a portable payphone. No matter how many times those adverts scream at me from the tv or the web i am not going to buy new ringtones or wallpapers. i do not want internet on a frickin frackin phone with a one and a half inch screen. nor do i feel the need to call people constantly or bug people with unneccesary text messages. I have my phone set to vibrate permanently rather than switching between dingaling ringtone and vibrate. I often miss calls and mesages but that's ok because if it's imortant either I'll get back to them or they can try again. i see no need to answer my phone just because someone wants me to.

I don't understand the mobile phone culture that seems to have been created and is flourishing. It seems tailor made for the gullible and terminally stupid though. heck, there's even an abbreviated language for the simpletons to use because they can't manage whole words or complete sentences. And phone companies pander to this by making phones out to be some kind of entertainment station. GET A GRIP PEOPLE! it's a communications device designed to be used when there are no other means of communication open to you. For emergencies. For keeping track of wayward kids. For recieving or sending instructions from afar. y'know? Just a tool.

I'm heartened by this thread and the number of you feel similarly. The more people refuse to be suckered into this world of mobile/cell phone insanity and refuse to give in to sales pressurising, the more the message will get through that all these gadgety gismo things they insist we need aren't actually needed or wanted.
What we need is cheap tarifs and reliable phones with a strong network of transmitters for maximum coverage and minimal dead zones. A phone is a phone, now the phone companies need to leave it alone.

mabudonicus
01-24-2006, 03:09 PM
I have a cel phone, I found it kinda broken on the road, I use it to balance out one of my water trays full of carnivorous plants on my windowsill.. other than that I despise the things- I'm sure if I had kids or a car it might be a necessary evil to some extent, but frankly I don't even like answering my home phone if I have company...
I suppose I would also consider it if there were some sort of really awesome deal on long distance, but as for all the dumb gadgets, well, I am one of the old fashioned types who prefers tools to have specialized functions rather than have one tool with a ton of different things crammed into it to the point where every "feature" is about 1/10 as effective as it would have been in a standalone

And text messaging, MAN don't get me started, I can't believe that people are falling for that, as others have said... maybe the next BIG NEW THING will be "retro cellphones" that that weigh 10 pounds , with a wall-plug and a rotary dial... hmmm I should get on this NOW :beard:

darthvyn
01-24-2006, 04:59 PM
i was finally talked into getting a cellphone when i was still in NC. it has the ability to play the "polyphonic" tones, but they sound like butt, so i use MIDIs. the BEST ringtones for phones are classic videogame soundtracks, because they're all 8-bit songs. i have some songs from metroid on mine now.

we're on verizon, and don't get as many of the "cool" features as other carriers. the way i got those tones and the wallpapers i made of samus from the metroid: prime games on there was to email it to my phone through a VZWPix.com account.

Rocketboy
01-24-2006, 06:19 PM
i was finally talked into getting a cellphone when i was still in NC. it has the ability to play the "polyphonic" tones, but they sound like butt, so i use MIDIs. the BEST ringtones for phones are classic videogame soundtracks, because they're all 8-bit songs. i have some songs from metroid on mine now.Heck yeah! I can't seem to part with my Super Matio Brothers theme.