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View Full Version : I Have Massive Contempt for The Hiring Process. Do you?



Phantom-like Menace
05-20-2006, 02:08 PM
The subject says it all. I've been looking for a second job and of course employers have it in their heads that they only hire the best of the best. I'd ask if they had really looked at the invertebrates riding the clock in their stores but I doubt they would admit they made a mistake like that.

My least favorite aspect of the hiring process is that stupid questionnaire that is roughly one hundred questions long but can really be boiled down to about three questions if they didn't ask the same question over and over again. You know the questionnaire, the one that crashes right when you get to question number ninety-five. I came home today and Googled the name of the company that the company that will likely not hire me outsourced their hiring out to (remember the store's motto: People first!), and I dropped them an email. This was the body of the email:
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Did you know that a time honored technique in breaking subjects in interrogations is to ask the same question over and over again? Do you strongly disagree, slightly disagree, slightly agree, strongly agree, or are you not sure?

Did you know that a time honored technique in breaking subjects in interrogations is to ask the same question over and over again? Do you strongly disagree, slightly disagree, slightly agree, strongly agree, or are you not sure?

Did you know that a time honored technique in breaking subjects in interrogations is to ask the same question over and over again? Do you strongly disagree, slightly disagree, slightly agree, strongly agree, or are you not sure?

Did you know that a time honored technique in breaking subjects in interrogations is to ask the same question over and over again? Do you strongly disagree, slightly disagree, slightly agree, strongly agree, or are you not sure?

So I'm not a big fan of your questionnaires is all I'm saying.
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How much do you hate the employment process?

plasticfetish
05-20-2006, 02:53 PM
It's rarely a fun thing to go through the whole interview process. In most cases it ends up seeming that they're looking to scan the crown of possible employees for the biggest rubes. So that they can more easily take advantage of them later on.

I've started looking for a part time job -- nothing wild, just trying to bring in a few extra bucks this summer, and I'm having to play down my past experience. "So, it says here that you were a TV art director... why do you want to work in my clothing store again?"

:neutral:

...but it doesn't have to be all bad. My wife recently jumped ship from one larger company to a smaller local company, and they have a brilliant hiring process. In addition to interviewing with the store manager, they also have a kind of general HR person (a recruiter) who's job it is to interview every person that applies. A lot of times the managers aren't exactly gifted when it comes to hiring. There's a specific set of skills involved that some of them just don't have. In the case of my wife's current company, it's nice to see that they filter each new applicant past a few different people. Each person sort of lending their personal touch to the process.

I suppose that's what sucks most about what you're saying Phantom-like Menace... the fact that it can be so impersonal.

Phantom-like Menace
05-20-2006, 11:33 PM
Yeah, local sounds like a way to go. Unfortunately, the locals destroy local businesses in acts of unbridled predation. I think the only reason national businesses can survive in this city is because they can absorb the odd location that is constantly raped by yokels.

On the plus side, I've gone through the local paper's website and it seems Destro is hiring:

US-Nationwide
$60K Base Salary + Bonuses- Sales / Service (http://banking-finance.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?IPath=JRGC&job_did=J8A7TT6MGCXN39TM9WD&lr=cbga_tall)
M.A.R.S. International (http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Companies/CompanyDetails.aspx?sc_cmp1=13_JobRes_ComDet&IPath=JRGC&hhname=MARSIntl&lr=cbga_tall)
Apr-21
Job type: Full time | Pay: $60k/year
Sales and Service - $60K Base Salary Plus Bonuses and Benefits M.A.R.S. International is expanding in your area. We are looking for Sales and Service...

Kidhuman
05-21-2006, 02:50 AM
The jobs I have had I didnt need ot go through an interview process on most of them. I worked with the same person who was my boss for nearly ten years in NYC. When he left, he offered me the job and I had to go through the formality interview, so it wasnt that bad.

I did go through an interview process at my job now, but it was a typing test for one(which I copied and pasted, idiots allowed it to) and a standard interview pertaining to customer service and interactions with them, so it was easy.

I have filled out those stupid 450 questoaire things and they are by and far ridiculous. They same 10 questions over and over and over again rephrased differently. You would actually be suprised at the people who answer the same question differently every single time. I used to look at some when I did interview and had top select the people whom I wanted to interview.

Phantom-like Menace
05-21-2006, 03:14 AM
You would actually be suprised at the people who answer the same question differently every single time.

Yeah, that's because we're all lying. You look at the question "I would rather punch a customer full in the face than answer their requests," and you can't answer, strongly agree. So you lie. Then by the eighth time you are asked that same question you can't remember if you said strongly disagree or slightly disagree or whether or not you panicked and picked the unsure option. As far as I can tell, the entire point of those questionnaires is to lie through your soon-to-be-employed teeth.

Part of me figures you can't answer every question perfectly, because it would be obvious you're lying. The rest of me figures the average employer is just insane enough they are probably sitting around waiting for that one person who scores perfectly to bring the Bright White Light of His Customer Service Brilliance into his office. I imagine this is where all of the aforementioned invertebrates come from.

Kidhuman
05-21-2006, 03:18 AM
There is no question we lie on those, but taking a minute to read the question and not skim it is important. The ones I hate the most on there is the pick one word to describe you:

Late
Punctual
Timely
Efficent


What the hell is that, dont pick late and you are good to go.

Phantom-like Menace
05-21-2006, 05:37 AM
Yeah, that's definitely a good example.

I think one of my favorite questions is, "How many times have you been promoted at your job?" My job consists of exactly two levels, and the next one up is the single manager and owner. The answer is I have not been promoted, and there is no conclusion to be drawn from that.

I'm also curious why when you fill out an application for fry cook at McDonalds or what have you, they want to know you're a leader. Oh yeah. The world will fall before my ability to take control of things for the better. Would you like fries with that? Of course that question assumes they want a leader when what they all want is a follower who will shut up and take their every direction. These people are scared of leaders. Leaders work elsewhere.

Slicker
05-21-2006, 02:45 PM
Unfortunately for you (but fortunately for me) I've never had to really deal with the hiring process. My first job was at a restaraunt where Cappy worked so he basically got me in with no application or anything. My next job at a factory I basically got in because I knew a guy that knew some people. I had to fill out an application but it was a formality and it got me my benefits and whatnot then I just had to sign on the dotted line for my current job. Not much of an interview to go through.

Sith Lord 0498
05-21-2006, 04:39 PM
What amazes me about the hiring process is the lowest-level McJobs (fast food joints, Wal-Mart, TRU, etc.) have the most rigorous hiring procedures. Like it was stated before, they want to know if you're a leader, what your entire moral background is, if you can handle "demanding" hours (yeah I can as long as I'm getting paid for them...count out WM there :) ), etc. etc.

My favorite was when I was looking into a part-time seasonal job at TRU to bring in a little extra income. They grilled me like I was applying at the CIA, and after a half hour into it they dropped the bombshell that I'd be making less than $6.00 an hour. I had to fight the urge not to walk out laughing my head off. Needless to say, I didn't take it. I just took some extra hours per week at my regular job where I made $15/hr.

JON9000
05-22-2006, 02:16 PM
Employers on the mass retail scale are concerned about three things:

1. You show up on time

2. You won't steal

3. You won't bring about a lawsuit

I would love to hear the conversations in human resources on what to look for in prospective candidates. I mean, they want somebody who can do the basics but they have to realize they are not going to get top people who do it as their only gig. And if they do, those people will likely be less than motivated when they realize at any time they can walk down the street and get another job making the same money.

mtriv73
05-22-2006, 06:01 PM
It could be worse, the last job I applied for I had to endure 2 hours of questions about HIV replication and immune control. It wasn't even a question of lying or not, it was like trying to pass a nightmare final in a senior level biology class when you didn't know what to study ahead of time. In my case though, I see why they did it that way. They wanted the right person for the job.

dr_evazan22
05-25-2006, 09:24 PM
What I don't like is the form questions that get asked by the larger corporations. The goal, sort of, is to get you talking. "Tell me the last time... " "How did you... ?", and, one of the best - "Why did you choose this company?"

InsaneJediGirl
05-25-2006, 11:22 PM
I hate those stupid surveys and I'm tired of filling them out. The questions are all the same and they are asked over and over and over. By the time you get the survey done plus the regular application,you decide its easier to be homeless and have no money lol

Phantom-like Menace
06-16-2006, 01:06 PM
So I'm still looking for a job. Apparently I'm just giving off an unhireable stink.

We've not mentioned that dreaded question, the one I got today: "Are you experienced?"

Am I experienced? Well, Jimi, if by the question you mean to ask if I have the requisite apposable thumb required to hold a spatula and the sixty IQ points required to contain the encyclopedia of knowledge that comprises the five basic items you combine to form your menu of thirty items (thirty-six if you count the soda selection), then yes, consider me experienced. If you mean to ask if I have deigned to allow myself to be employed in this style of entry-level gulag before now, then no, go ahead and assume I am not good enough.

At this point, maybe if I am arrested for not being able to pay my debts, I can work in the prison kitchen and aspire to one day work at some dive greasy spoon.

plasticfetish
06-16-2006, 04:59 PM
At this point, maybe if I am arrested for not being able to pay my debts, I can work in the prison kitchen and aspire to one day work at some dive greasy spoon.They can't arrest you for not paying your debts... they can hassle you, and they can try to garnish your wages (if you have none, then they're out of luck), but we did away with debtors prisons a long time ago.

I hear you though man... I've just started really pushing around now to find a harmless job to bring some extra money in. Chances are great that I'll probably only do it for a few months 'til we get settled for real. So, I had a great (sarcasm) interview with an extremely intense (go figure) Starbucks supervisor about their requirements. I mean... I'm not looking for much, and they don't pay very well, but the hours work for me (right now) and I'd get free coffee. ;) I blew it when I laughed at her though, after she told me that Starbucks expects a six month commitment from their new hires. I said, "What? Like a lease... you're going to lease me for under $8 an hour?" Seriously... I understood what she meant (as she jittered away), but it's no wonder that they're always struggling to find employees.

Looking for a BS job is more of a hassle than looking for a real one.

Kidhuman
06-16-2006, 09:17 PM
I would have laughed to PF. A six month commitment. Thats the second time I heard of a commitment from a job. The first was when I worked for HOme Depot. You could transfer to anywhere and get a raise if cost of living was higher, or keep your pay if you moved somewhere in which is was cheaper. Well needless to say they got burned by people transfering to Alaska for 3 weeks than transfering back keeping the high increase in pay, so they instituted a contract if you wanted to transfer to Alaska that you would stay for at least two years. I dont blame them for that one though.

Phantom-like Menace
06-17-2006, 12:24 AM
They can't arrest you for not paying your debts...

I wasn't being entirely serious, but if they hassle me and I kill them, that's what will be the prison ticket.


Looking for a BS job is more of a hassle than looking for a real one.

That's becoming my motto.

plasticfetish
06-17-2006, 01:58 AM
Funny thing though, an hour after I posted that, I had a phone interview with the place that Fortune Magazine has ranked #2 under "best employers" for 2 years in a row. Weird. (Sc**w Starbucks.)

Phantom-like Menace
06-17-2006, 05:34 AM
Good luck, sir, on hopefully getting all hired up. Then scare some of that luck my way. I have to clear bills and other expenses that have been piling up, but then I have toys to buy, and I'm sick of hearing them mock me from within their little plastic packages.

2-1B
08-11-2006, 01:59 AM
I just had a really pleasant experience with the hiring process, surprisingly. :D

I landed a new job but with my same company at our HQ 36 miles away...the process was this:

submit resume
get called by corporate recruiter to schedule a phone interview
complete phone interview the next day (that went very well)
get scheduled for in person interview for the following week, knowing only that it will be with the same HR rep as well as between 2 and 4 of my eventual department managers
get worked up in a lather at the thought of going before this firing squad
show up for the interview and actually find it to be a pleasant experience because by having more people there asking me questions, it had more of a conversational roundtable feel to it since the managers were able to talk with each other, too, and not just to me
move along to the testing phase with the goofy psych tests you guys were describing perfectly (this one had 265, I believe, and I'm sure they were all variants on the same 14 questions) not to mention the intelligence test (I know I blew one question, I thought of it immediately after I answered wrong and it's hilarious that I could possibly blow that one)
wait
wait
get a call a week later offering me the job and then signing the job offer and making my transfer complete
in the end it was a pretty pleasant experience, it helped that I worked for the company for a long long time so I had a good deal of familiarity.
in the end it means a better opportunity, great experience, and an extra $2.45 per hour so that's exciting.

no contempt from me on this one, although I usually would be contemptuous such was the case in the past all too often. :crazed:

InsaneJediGirl
08-11-2006, 09:30 AM
I filled out a application for Books A Million and one of the thousands of questions they asked was would I basically steal from the company. I wonder if any idiot wrote down "Yes" ? lol

dr_evazan22
08-11-2006, 09:22 PM
I'm sure there are quite a few idiots that were honest.

Congrats on the new job Cea!

2-1B
08-11-2006, 10:31 PM
Thanks Doc ! I'm looking forward to it. :)

Blue2th
08-11-2006, 10:46 PM
I have nothing but contempt for management, and the whole hiring process. It's like going through an interogation, getting raped, then tossed aside when they say we're going to hire someone else. Then they call you a couple of weeks later because the guy they hired was a flake and they finally find out by word of mouth, how good you really are! You tell them "no thanks" but you're thinking kiss my **s!

scruffziller
08-12-2006, 09:32 AM
I just had a really pleasant experience with the hiring process, surprisingly. :D

I landed a new job but with my same company at our HQ 36 miles away...the process was this:

submit resume
get called by corporate recruiter to schedule a phone interview
complete phone interview the next day (that went very well)
get scheduled for in person interview for the following week, knowing only that it will be with the same HR rep as well as between 2 and 4 of my eventual department managers
get worked up in a lather at the thought of going before this firing squad
show up for the interview and actually find it to be a pleasant experience because by having more people there asking me questions, it had more of a conversational roundtable feel to it since the managers were able to talk with each other, too, and not just to me
move along to the testing phase with the goofy psych tests you guys were describing perfectly (this one had 265, I believe, and I'm sure they were all variants on the same 14 questions) not to mention the intelligence test (I know I blew one question, I thought of it immediately after I answered wrong and it's hilarious that I could possibly blow that one)
wait
wait
get a call a week later offering me the job and then signing the job offer and making my transfer complete
in the end it was a pretty pleasant experience, it helped that I worked for the company for a long long time so I had a good deal of familiarity.
in the end it means a better opportunity, great experience, and an extra $2.45 per hour so that's exciting.

no contempt from me on this one, although I usually would be contemptuous such was the case in the past all too often. :crazed:

Yea, the economy in Wisconsin is awesome!! If you know where to look.

2-1B
08-12-2006, 10:23 AM
My state has a reputation for being unfriendly to business, a tax hell.

plasticfetish
08-12-2006, 03:14 PM
I just had a really pleasant experience with the hiring process, surprisingly. :DMine ended up being really nice also actually. Had to interview 3 or 4 times, but it all worked out. :) Funny thing is, two weeks after I started the job, a few of the other places that I'd applied to started calling. (It was weird having to turn them down.)

2-1B
08-12-2006, 11:45 PM
Congrats PF ! You're a real catch, so of course they would all be calling you. :)

Phantom-like Menace
08-14-2006, 10:44 AM
While I am continually glad to hear others have been getting jobs, I still haven't managed to get hired. One of them was nice enough to tell me they didn't want me because I was "too intelligent" to work somewhere like that. Unfortunately, I'm also intelligent enough to know I'm thrice ****ed on bills. I'm really getting sick of the ten creditor calls I receive each day on my phone. Minimum wage. Twenty hours a week. I'm not asking for much, but I am asking for something.

Kidhuman
08-14-2006, 01:59 PM
Well alot of places like Target and WM are hiring foir seasonal work right now. Might want to check em out.

Phantom-like Menace
08-14-2006, 05:07 PM
Well alot of places like Target and WM are hiring foir seasonal work right now. Might want to check em out.

Yeah, I've been planning on a trip by Wal-Mart. Target, however, is a long and not especially funny story involving trumped up charges and a very self-satisfied group of managers with the maturity of junior high school students who could only stop backstabbing each other long enough to band together to screw underlings.

dr_evazan22
08-14-2006, 07:43 PM
Its not for everybody, but I'd recommend UPS. Really good bene's after 6 months.

Phantom-like Menace
08-17-2006, 09:53 PM
UPS would actually be sweet. They are hiring in my area, their hours are perfect for me both in terms of the time of day they are hiring for and the number of hours per week they are hiring. The problem is, they are absolutely on the other side of town from where I live and I don't drive.

However, the damndest thing just happened today. After looking for a job since early March, two different businesses called me today. One called my phone but didn't leave a message, and the other called my roommate's phone since I had put him down as an alternate number to contact. I have to give them both calls tomorrow, but I'm masochistic enough to be optimistic.

Anyone who is of a mind to do so, wish me luck, please.

Edit 8/18: I found out which business called and spoke to the guy who called me. I have an interview set up for tomorrow afternoon.