View Full Version : why do people care about how other people smile?

08-10-2006, 09:50 AM
or more specifically, why do they feel the need to comment about it to those same people?

first I've got JediMasterGuyute cracking on me on MySpace (what a nice welcoming post :rolleyes: ) and now SeanMcPrequelLover is busting on me here, accusing me of rockin' Slicker's grillz. :D

My whole life I have been a non-teeth smiler and it's never going to change. I don't know why but it's always been like that, I can (but won't) scan my 1st grade class picture and you will see a kid with a toothless smile (not to mention a cool early 80s sweater and bad haircut lol lol lol ) but the point is, I've always smiled teeth-less. And I often see other people smiling like that, I don't know how the population breaks down but there's a good percentage of us out there being discriminated against.

And the simple fact that people have ripped on me for it GUARANTEES I will NEVER consider changing my approach anyway. ;) I'm not talking about Guy and Sean now, I'm talking about "real world" experiences such as an aunt who would criticize me for it in front of other people, like after my sister's wedding when we were posing for pics and my aunt was scolding me and embarrassing me by saying I'm not smiling and I was trying to be civil by not telling her to STFU. Another wedding I was at, I stood up in a friend's wedding party and afterward this "PROFESSIONAL" photographer whom I didn't even kow was cracking on me, I thought it was classless and embarrassing for her to be such a B.

There are other examples so don't think this thread is an attack on 2 internet friends, I assure you my rage runs deeper than that. :D :D :D

Honestly though, how f***ing rude is that? :rolleyes: That's how I smile for photos, get over it. :stupid: How many people do I see in my routine life that have bad teeth? What if I went up to one of them and said, "dude or madam, why do you smile with your teeth showing?" ? ? ? Wouldn't that be a rude thing to say? Sure it was, just like teasing someone for NOT smiling with their teeth.

F*** toothy smiles, the next person that says something in person is going to get an earful (or maybe a toothfull???lol) from me. I started to go off on someone a few months back at work but I reigned myself in. Next time I'm going to recite this post from memory. :crazed: :crazed: :crazed:

08-10-2006, 10:07 AM
Hey, just be yourself man.

If you don't show teeth when you smile then you don't show teeth when you smile. That's who you are. Better that, than someone who fakes it and shows the world a false face just to conform.

El Chuxter
08-10-2006, 10:09 AM
F*** toothy smiles

Does that even apply to toothy Mighty GrinsTM?

08-10-2006, 10:15 AM
Thanks SK for the pep talk. :D

No Chux, I'm sorry for not making what should have been an obvious disclaimer. lol If I had green tentacles sprouting from my melon, I'd be Kit Fisto-ing it up. lol lol lol

08-10-2006, 10:33 AM
I used to never smile with my teeth showing, but then I had braces and now I've got great teeth.lol

Darth Instigator
08-10-2006, 11:07 AM
yea toothy smiles are best, I looked at a few pics of you and it is annoying, smile dammit! lol

08-10-2006, 11:11 AM
If it annoys you, I'll delete my posts with any pics. :rolleyes:

speaking of annoying...

Darth Instigator
08-10-2006, 11:14 AM
I'm kidding relax guy, some people are so sensitive, maybe its your smile, lol

08-10-2006, 11:20 AM
Uhhhh, I wasn't being sensitive, I'm having a laugh here. Some people are sensitive, and some people are too dense to know the difference, it appears. lol

Sensitive would be you flipping out over CaptainSolo posting his obvious opinion and then your need to point out the obvious to him, that it is just his opinion. :crazed:

Darth Instigator
08-10-2006, 11:20 AM
thanks I appreciate your kind words, i was joking again lol

08-10-2006, 11:30 AM
I say f--- it, smile how you want to. I dont have a toothy smile either. ITs what makes people different. I am sure we all do things differently from wiping our butts to smiling.

08-10-2006, 11:32 AM
KH, what about smiling WHILE wiping ? lol lol lol

08-10-2006, 11:33 AM
If it tickles, go for it.

Darth Instigator
08-10-2006, 11:48 AM
ceasar, do you have bad teeth? just asking man, not accusing. :thumbsup:

08-10-2006, 12:05 PM
no, but I do have a slight underbite, in fact when I was in high school when I was evaluated for braces the orthodonist said he wanted to shave out a slice of my jaw on either side to correct the underbite. F*** that, I decided. lol lol lol

anyway, like I said earlier I've always smiled teeth-less, that's how I've always been. I was always the shy kid and in my childhood pics I definitely look "shy."

it's just the way I am, and the fact that people (again, not online but in real life :D ) call me out for it is a pain in the arse.

there's a guy at work who obviously drinks way too much Mountain Dew and when he smiles it's a real chore to view on account of the wretchedness of the teeth...and my point earlier was that I would never comment to someone about they way they smile WITH teeth, so as the thread title asks, "Why do people care if I DON'T smile with teeth?" :)

ask JimJam, if you were talking face to face with me and laughing you would see some toothage...it's just that a posed photo yields no teeth from me and I refuse to change ! :evil:

Darth Instigator
08-10-2006, 12:23 PM
yea I had horrible teeth when I was younger and thankfully I was furnished braces for 4 years of my childhood life as they have helped considerably and I am proud of that but its just natural for me to smile big, I would feel like I had to work hard to prevent it. Hey I am not perfect either. close but not, lol. good thing you didnt do what they wanted to do with your underbite, I bet there is much easier things these days that they could do. like the commercial says, Get your smile on!

08-10-2006, 02:11 PM
Well with Caesar's anger flowing here I hope that if he is going to make a monster face, and growl and foam at the mouth....you can't bite someone if your lips are in the way...:D

08-10-2006, 04:25 PM
I have not seen the photos in question and am not trying to judge them, but I think the reason people care about toothy smiles is that the alternative looks like a put-on, it looks phoney, and it's hard to judge because closed-mouth smiles don't convey well in photos because of the subtlety and the obvious ones look VERY phoney. People don't generally laugh or spontaneously smile with their mouths closed, so when you see a photo of someone smiling that way it comes off as false.

When I was a kid, I had more of an underbite, I was given a dental binator - like a boxer's mouthpiece crossed with a retainer - that straightened some teeth and brought my lower jaw forward gradually. Sometimes I think dentists want to take some ridiculously drastic steps.

Darth Jax
08-10-2006, 06:45 PM
nothing wrong with showing no teeth in photos caesar.

i get carp for that same thing all the time. the only time i've been photographed showing teeth was a shot after being goosed. it's rare enough that i'll willingly smile, but i sure ain't opening my mouth when i do. just the way i am.

08-10-2006, 09:59 PM
I still say there's some blingin' arsed choppers under that handsome grin. He's just embarrassed to show us because he's got embedded in gold "P-T" on the top row and "H-A-T-U-H" on the bottom.

Seriously though, it's nice to see someone have a natural looking, genuine smile in pictures. Can't beat an ear to ear grin like that.

08-10-2006, 10:04 PM
I've got a "Dave Letterman" like gap between my two front teeth. My mom had the same thing. I try not to show it when I smile for the camera. So this explains what happened to the picture in the "Post a picture of youself" thread. Caesar? Come on now, I like pictures, please put it back!

08-10-2006, 10:55 PM
Sorry Frett, the mods deemed my toothless smile so offensive they had to pull it. :D

So I was asking around at work today, it dawned on me that my boss doesn't smile with his teeth so I asked if he gets his balls broken over it and he replied in the affirmative. He hates it, too, how people feel the need to publicly criticize us for smiling without visible teeth.

I'm going to start being open with all my thoughts in public now in retaliation. :evil:

Sean - thanks for the compliment....I think? lol lol lol

JT - I guess maybe I am kind of fake. :D

08-11-2006, 09:41 AM
I dont normally have a big toothy smile myself. Not because of bad teeth,just because I think I look even more geeky with a toothy smile. Have I gotten some flak from it,sure,but people will just have to get over it.

Sometimes I think some great big old "teeth smile" looks more fake than some toothless grin.I guess its all how its percieved by other people...or how much they want to nitpick on you.

08-11-2006, 10:23 AM
Finally, words of wisdom from the First Lady of SSG ! :grin:

Or instead of saying :grin: maybe I should say :)

lol lol lol

08-11-2006, 02:10 PM
I was sitting on a train yesterday and across from me was a guy who was smiling big time. trouble was he looked like a camel when he did. so much gum showing it was hideous. Personally when i see people with big toothy smiles I tend to think they're just showing off their expensive dental work or they just ate s***.

I like a smile the same as anyone. I don't see why showing teeth matters. I smile with a closed mouth. it's not false it's just how I always have smiled. it's probably an effort to not look like a village idiot.

08-11-2006, 03:45 PM
flashing a toothy smile can do a lot for you. It can take you from being known as the dude with the green tentacles that look like dreadlocks to actually being known by your name. Sideshow might actually put your figure high on the list!

smile like Kit Fisto!

08-11-2006, 05:17 PM
Don't you dare! Whether you smile w/or w/o teeth is totally your business. Just like those wannabe sneezers that must be dainty, sounding like a kitten's been squeezed. You're correct in doing whatever you feel, regardless of the 'do it my way' clowns.

Ya want me ta ruff'em up for ya?


I'm failing miserably at posting Jean's obit. HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP, someone

08-12-2006, 09:15 AM
I dont normally have a big toothy smile myself. Not because of bad teeth,just because I think I look even more geeky with a toothy smile.

Same here. Even though I had to write a zinger for Caesar.:D I prefer not to smile at all, just a haughty sneer.:D I had Bell's Palsy so I can't smile worth a damn anymore. I'll just let Lil' Alex over to the side do the smiling.

08-13-2006, 12:57 AM
JT - I guess maybe I am kind of fake. :DWhat, you don't love McCallum or the prequels as much as you pretend? ;) Ohhh, you mean your SMILE.

08-13-2006, 01:03 AM
Actually, The Rick is one of the things that makes me smile the most. lol lol lol

I've been paying attention more of late and I am counting the number of times I see people smile without teeth. For example looking through the rest of my Wizard World pics, I noticed that Thomas Jane doesn't show teeth then smiling. I bet nobody squeezes that guys shoes over it. :mad: Not to mention many pretty girls I see out there in the world who smile toothless (that sounds odd, for some reason, like they are missing teeth :crazed: ).

So yeah, like I was saying, we are not the minority ! ! ! lol lol lol

Thank you for the support, VT-Mom, with each vote of confidence my people grow more powerful. :evil:

08-13-2006, 06:11 AM
Caesar, I can recall hearing that "smile- you're not smiling" indicating the show-them-choppers command for pictures, etc.

Personally, I think some people have wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too much time on their hands - or no life, finding it necessary to micromanage what's none of their business.

I enjoy closed-mouth smiles because they conjure a secret feeling and DO say something positive about the person who may be a very private individual.

Enjoy the day,

vulcantouch-mom:) :) :)

08-13-2006, 06:50 PM
For a long time, whenever forced to pose for pictures I'd keep my smile closed-mouth, years of orthodontia kept ("keep" really) me self-concious about my teeth, but the past few years I've realized A) my mouth isn't very physically large so apparently I'm not conveying my smiles in photos and even to friends and family; and B) life is too short for me to be self-concious about yet another thing; so now I generally try to laugh and have fun in photos and when with friends and family, and it always bears teeth (though sometimes not eyes :p).

08-14-2006, 02:05 PM
Ah to :D or :pleased: that is the question. Sort of.

There would probably be a mix of close-mouthed and open-mouthed smiling photographs of me. Much like there would be a mix of photos in which I'm wearing or not wearing my glasses. I prefer not to look exactly the same in every photograph.

I used to smile with mouth closed only and that was due to having crooked teeth. That even continued after I had orthodontic work done simply because that was how I was used to posing in photographs. It took a particularly crap photo in which my chin looks huge and my nose looks like its only a centimetre above my top lip for me to start doing openmouthed smiles.

Lately though I'm self-conscious about my teeth again because they've been relapsing into previous crooked positions, less than 10 years since I had braces. Its possibly even worse because once you've had perfect teeth its terrible to to think you're ultimately going to wind up with crap teeth again. I never would have thought the good work my orthodontist did would be as shortlived as its proving to be.

08-14-2006, 07:10 PM
Hey Caesar I think your smile is great.

Care to go out sometime? :D

Phantom-like Menace
04-11-2008, 01:37 AM
I'm discovering that people really give you a hard time if you just generally don't smile. Unless something is funny or you're one of a handful of dear friends and family (most of whom immediately evoke humorous thoughts), I just don't smile. I keep a very neutral expression almost 100% of my day, and no one seems to understand "neutral" doesn't mean "angry" or "hostile."

Three times in the last six months, I've had customers get ****y with me because I'm not smiling like an idiot at them for no reason. I'm completely professional and polite, and it's not good enough. I'm not smiling so I must not like them and the situation needs to be addressed, because I clearly have an attitude.

I'm not a smiler. I was raised by people who aren't smilers among people who aren't smilers.

And what really ****es me off? It's pretty much the other person's insecurity that is at the heart of it. "Oh I have self-esteem issues, so I have to take this guy to task for making me feel bad." You didn't make me smile, so what do you think is going to make me cry? Your hurt feelings? Can't make myself care.

04-11-2008, 07:28 AM
I haven't ever had people get bitter with me for not smiling, but I hate it when people will walk past my desk and say, "Smile!" or something like that.

Eat it, will ya? I'm either dutifully working or reading something that I shouldn't be at work. When the time is right I'll smile, and that'll more than likely be after 5:00. Thanks.


04-11-2008, 01:31 PM
I can't help smiling when I read your guys' retarded posts...losers! Effing smile you pieces of ****. ;)

TPLM, don't you find it hypocritical as well that here they are wanting you to smile and smiling like a dufuss at you, and because you don't smile now all of a sudden they want to kill you with their eyes and their hearts!! People are just weird. I think if peeps were to mind their own business more often and worry and take care of their own lives and issues first, this world would work a little better.

El Chuxter
04-11-2008, 01:34 PM
I've been told it takes more energy to frown than to smile.

To which I reply that it takes more energy to smile than to do neither.

Phantom-like Menace
04-11-2008, 02:01 PM
I can't help smiling when I read your guys' retarded posts...losers! Effing smile you pieces of ****. ;)

Okay, I'm smiling, but only because I found that funny. :) Otherwise, you'd just get this: :neutral:.

TPLM, don't you find it hypocritical as well that here they are wanting you to smile and smiling like a dufuss at you, and because you don't smile now all of a sudden they want to kill you with their eyes and their hearts!! People are just weird. I think if peeps were to mind their own business more often and worry and take care of their own lives and issues first, this world would work a little better.

Funny enough, some of them aren't even smiling at me. But yeah, I agree with what you're saying. Honestly, though, I think they wouldn't trust a sincere smile. They would probably think I was making fun of them or pulling something. Consumerism in this country runs on insincere smiles, but I don't.

What's really funny is there are myriad social disorders which make it unlikely for a person to smile. There are whole cultures that would find smiling offensive in a serious situation. But the assumption has to be made that someone who doesn't smile just doesn't like you.

04-11-2008, 05:33 PM
On the rare occasion that I am involved in a photo op, my preference lies in smiling with mouth shut. Yet, I too have been frequently chastised for this, mostly by my sister... Which is a shame, because I wish to say; "If you don't shut up, the only teeth that will be showing will be the ones that fall from your mouth."

Though, I'm quite a shy one, so I doubt I would ever truly verbalize such a threat. Anyways, my reasons for not wishing to expose these revealed parts of my skeleton are simple; I have not taken very good care of them, and they have paid me back for that, so why should I expose the world to their wretched existence? Besides, they're nothing more than eating tools, shall I bring my fork to the depiction as well?

All in all, if I am smiling at all then one should be quite happy they have gotten me that far, I prefer not to smile at all if I have the choice. Otherwise people may think I have something to be happy about.

04-11-2008, 07:13 PM
Funny... I was just thinking about this thread the other day.

El Chuxter
04-11-2008, 08:10 PM
Okay, this is just going to get confusing really quickly.


04-11-2008, 09:24 PM
I don't really have a preference. I just always seem to end up in a Solo-esque sneer.

Mad Slanted Powers
04-12-2008, 12:54 AM
I've been told it takes more energy to frown than to smile.

To which I reply that it takes more energy to smile than to do neither.EXACTLY! That expression always bothered me. I've always had more of a neutral expression. To me, it feels phony when I try to smile big. Now, if someone says something to get me to laugh a bit, then it feels natural. And so what if it takes more energy. The person saying that might be someone that could probably stand to burn a few more calories.

Mr. JabbaJohnL
04-13-2008, 07:45 PM
There was a time when my smile in pictures made me look retarded; my mouth was open way more than it should have been. This was mostly during my "awkward stage" (which, for short, we'll call "middle school"). I found out how not to look like a goob but to convey happiness at the same time with my super sexy smile, which has included teeth since around age seven (older pictures often have me showing no teeth for some reason).

For me when I smile with no teeth in pictures it looks like I'm trying too hard to look good. But that's just me, I think.

Phantom-like Menace
01-27-2009, 11:47 PM
So I return to this thread again. Why? My manager left me a ****y note about how customer service representatives are expected to smile, because she decided since she had a pen in her hand and a stick up her ***, that she needed to write down that I need to learn to smile on a complaint card.

This smiling thing is the least significant problem I've ever encountered at work . . . or at least it should be, but no, let's inflate it to some super problem that may actually affect my continued employment.

Seriously, I don't know what to do. It's not just a matter of deciding to smile or not to smile. This is exactly what I've done my entire life, thirty-one years of not smiling. It's either a deeply ingrained social habit that I'm not even aware of or a minor social disorder. Do I need to single myself out with a big flashing helmet that says, "socially retarded?" I'm impeccably polite. I do everything in my power to make sure the guest's non-smiling needs are met, and I could lose my job because people think I need to smile. What am I a model in a teeth whitening ad? I can't believe people are this insecure that they even have to bring this up. I don't even know how to approach my manager, because he's clearly an idiot for even bringing this to my attention and taking it seriously.

If I even had papers showing I had Aspergers or some other social disorder, do I need to tell the guest ahead of time, "I'm sure you're a beautiful person who makes all those around you happy, but I don't smile. Actually, behind my dour contenance, I am deeply falling in love with your inner beauty. Please marry me."

People hardly ever smile at me when I buy things, yet I go on about my day as though it doesn't matter. Is it truly some social necessity that will bring about certain doom if not followed as though it's some trite ritual? I'm more and more convinced I should just tell people to get bent right out of the gate. It's easier, more fun, and when customer complaints come in, they might actually be justified.

The strangest thing is that I got maybe one whole complaint the entire time I worked at my old hotel. Five years, and one guest told me I wasn't smiling. It comes up often enough here, that I'm scared I could lose my job.

01-28-2009, 08:49 AM
I smile if I'm amused by something or if I genuinely feel the need to smile. If you tell me a joke I'm sure as hell not gonna laugh or smile. I'll just give you a blank look and tell you that you're fu*king stupid.

01-29-2009, 09:16 AM
I bet if I posted a pic of chainsaw Lanny you'd smile, Sliki

PLM- that's idiotic- I'd rather someone be super polite and helpful, there's nothing worse than a semi-incompetent person with a horribly phoney smile on their face annoying the hell out of you with their lack of ability to function in real life.

I myself and a somewhat smiley guy, seeing friends, laughing about the olden days etc will always make me obviously happy. I have BO reason to hide my feelings in any situation... Usually tho, without such stimulus, people tend to think I look brooding and angry (this while I have a vision of say Homer Simpson dancing to "Baby Elephant Walk" playing on a loop in my brain). It can make people difficult to deal with, since they are TOTALLY misreading me as some kind of humourless rabid animal, but it doesn't take too many phrases out of my mouth before a smart person figures me out well enough to know that the "cover" is grossly misrepresentative of the contents

:beard: Iso&Baws

Maybe try to think of how stupid people are and smile about that?? I actually do that a lot and the "right" people will NEVER catch on :D

01-29-2009, 11:36 AM
I'm just reminded of Steve Martin at the rental counter in "Trains, Planes and Automobiles". JT doesn't want me quoting that part, so I won't. But there were a lot of that one word there.