El Chuxter
12-20-2006, 11:26 AM
Year-end roundup; what are the worst offerings from Star Wars (toys, books, conventions, whatever) of the past year?
Feel free to make up categories as you wish.
Worst Decision: Re-releasing the Episode III General Grievous Unleashed figure. The final nail in the coffin of this line, though the recently announced plans to re-release his pegwarming buddies Anakin and Obi-Wan next year could easily trump this.
(Runner-up: The entire "Greatest Battles, Lamest Figures" line. At least these were cheap and small, so they sold to kids and parents for the most part.)
Worst Comic Book: Legacy. No explanation needed. I'd wipe my butt with it, but it's so bad, I'd probably get a rash.
Dumbest Expanded Universe Plot: Jacen Solo becomes a Sith! Wooo! Now there are two good kids in the family who turn bad without adequate character development!
Biggest Waste of Time: "The Star Wars Spectacular" at Comic-Con. Promises of big announcements and surprises, and what do we get? Some footage of Celebration III and a few minutes of a CG Indiana Jones.
Most Obvious Scam: 30th Anniversary Tins. "Hey, we can take a bunch of the figures no one wants, and make really, really minor modifications to one of them. Then we can put them in a set with three other sucky figures, and--oh, here's the good part!--we can charge more if we put them in a crappy tin that no one has a use for!"
Lamest Single Toy: As the Millennium Falcon Transformer does not qualify here (see below), this goes to the General Grievous Transformer, which is truly a "pice of carp" in every sense of the word.
Lamest Single Turd Masquerading as a Toy: Millennium Falcon Transformer.
P***iest Decision on Lucas' Part: "Hey, I got everyone to drop a lot of money on the re-re-re-re-re-edited films, so now let's get the same people to buy them again because we'll include the originals that I swore I'd never release! Only they won't be remastered or anamorphic, so we can do the same thing next year!"
Star Wars Dorkus of the Year: Just when you think no one can be lower than Rick McCallum, along comes Steve Sansweet. Yes, the windbag who hosted the "Star Wars Spectacular" and told a little kid that he needed to get his parents to buy him a next generation console if he wanted any more Star Wars game, then seemed blissfully unaware of the announcement barely a month earlier that LucasArts wanted to make a Wii game involving lightsaber combat when asked about that system. Good work, Interrim Doctor Douche.
Feel free to make up categories as you wish.
Worst Decision: Re-releasing the Episode III General Grievous Unleashed figure. The final nail in the coffin of this line, though the recently announced plans to re-release his pegwarming buddies Anakin and Obi-Wan next year could easily trump this.
(Runner-up: The entire "Greatest Battles, Lamest Figures" line. At least these were cheap and small, so they sold to kids and parents for the most part.)
Worst Comic Book: Legacy. No explanation needed. I'd wipe my butt with it, but it's so bad, I'd probably get a rash.
Dumbest Expanded Universe Plot: Jacen Solo becomes a Sith! Wooo! Now there are two good kids in the family who turn bad without adequate character development!
Biggest Waste of Time: "The Star Wars Spectacular" at Comic-Con. Promises of big announcements and surprises, and what do we get? Some footage of Celebration III and a few minutes of a CG Indiana Jones.
Most Obvious Scam: 30th Anniversary Tins. "Hey, we can take a bunch of the figures no one wants, and make really, really minor modifications to one of them. Then we can put them in a set with three other sucky figures, and--oh, here's the good part!--we can charge more if we put them in a crappy tin that no one has a use for!"
Lamest Single Toy: As the Millennium Falcon Transformer does not qualify here (see below), this goes to the General Grievous Transformer, which is truly a "pice of carp" in every sense of the word.
Lamest Single Turd Masquerading as a Toy: Millennium Falcon Transformer.
P***iest Decision on Lucas' Part: "Hey, I got everyone to drop a lot of money on the re-re-re-re-re-edited films, so now let's get the same people to buy them again because we'll include the originals that I swore I'd never release! Only they won't be remastered or anamorphic, so we can do the same thing next year!"
Star Wars Dorkus of the Year: Just when you think no one can be lower than Rick McCallum, along comes Steve Sansweet. Yes, the windbag who hosted the "Star Wars Spectacular" and told a little kid that he needed to get his parents to buy him a next generation console if he wanted any more Star Wars game, then seemed blissfully unaware of the announcement barely a month earlier that LucasArts wanted to make a Wii game involving lightsaber combat when asked about that system. Good work, Interrim Doctor Douche.