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Slicker
02-06-2007, 11:20 PM
I've been having the most HILACIOUS gas the past couple of days.

About every couple of minutes I'll let rip with a loud and long (about 6 seconds) fart. I think the spacing is JUST enough for the stench of the first to die only to be rejuvinated by the new one.

They're not those regular "man that stinks I'll wave my hand to make the smell go away" farts either. This smell just lingers around and doesn't leave as readily.

I'm starting to think that either a)I ate something that was bad (I did have nachos during the Super Bowl and I had some tonight too... or b) something crawled inside of me and died and I'm just releasing it's spirit in flatulance form.

I've always been a farter (along with Cappy so I think it runs in the family) so farting alot isn't anything new. They've always stunk too but what's getting me is the pure putridness of the stench. They literally smell like rotten eggs but, since everyone likes there own brand, I can't get enough of the smell. I've even Dutch Ovened myself just to get a whiff.

If any of you get an envelope from me it does NOT have fart in it. I'm simply sending you guys...ummm...money. Yeah, that's it. I've enclosed a $20 bill in those envelopes and you should put your noses really close to them so you can smell the crispness of the fart $20 bill.

El Chuxter
02-06-2007, 11:23 PM
I've had some rank ones lately myself, but a baby is a veritable fountain of fartastic good ones. I simply cannot compete.

Plus she is excused when she lets a loud one rip at an inopportune time, like during church.

CaptainSolo1138
02-06-2007, 11:41 PM
Is Charlotte eating jars of food yet? You ain't smelled nothing yet if not. Its almost like real people poop, which grosses me out.

Like Slick, I had super bad gas the other night which, compounded with the snoring, got me kicked out of bed. I'm fairly certain that it was Doritos, but I can't say for sure since, to quote Rocketboy, "water gives me gas".

Slicker
02-06-2007, 11:58 PM
They're getting worse by the minute now. I seriously think I might poop myself in my sleep.

Rocketboy
02-07-2007, 12:42 AM
Try lightin' them bad boys up!

And make sure you tape it so we can see you explode on youtube.

mtriv73
02-07-2007, 10:51 AM
One year in high school, when we were doing the president's physical fitness tests, I had the worst gas I've ever had. Unfortunately, we were doing the sit-ups test that day. Everytime I came up a little more came out. The poor guy holding my feet down was practically crying by my 5th rep. Then I started laughing so hard I only finished with 15 or so. Luckily I got a do over the next day.

Blue2th
02-07-2007, 11:38 AM
"Do you have to let it linger, do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?" :laugh:

El Chuxter
02-07-2007, 11:50 AM
My favorite flatulent-based song parody is based on Tom Petty's "Walls":

"Some farts are juicy
And some farts are dry
Some farts make you happy
And some farts make you cry
But I've got a fart so big, it could crush this town
And I can't hold it forever, even walls fall down"

Slicker
02-07-2007, 01:16 PM
Well, I just DOMINATED!! one in the bathroom and it smelled faintly of Deviled Ham (http://www.catheroo.com/images/photos/deviled_ham.jpg). Not sure where that smell came from but it was definitely there.


Let's just hope that doing that will get rid of the stench I've let loose because this morning I could feel the farts edging closer and closer to the source.

Kidhuman
02-07-2007, 01:55 PM
Try letting ones rip after being sick for three days. God the stench that was unleashed in my bathroom today would have made an onion cry.

mtriv73
02-07-2007, 03:48 PM
I can't believe I just clicked on Slickers Deviled Ham link. I don't know what I was expecting to see, but I'm glad it really was deviled ham.

Slicker
02-07-2007, 07:06 PM
You're lucky I didn't use tubgirl...

Kidhuman
02-07-2007, 09:00 PM
You're lucky I didn't use tubgirl...

Tubgirl does not belong here and dont bring that up again.

Rocketboy
02-07-2007, 10:43 PM
Tubgirl does not belong here and dont bring that up again.What's tubgirl?

scruffziller
02-08-2007, 01:42 PM
Here is a little ditty a friend of mine and I wrote while rehearsing to do a school program of Barry Manilow's "I Write the Songs"; a parody


....Ahem(clears throat)....



I have been alive forever......
And I let the very first farrrrrrttttt...
I put the sound and the stinkies together.... I am stinky....
And I let the farrrrrtttttssssss............

I let the farts that make the whole world stink..........
I let the farts that make the old women think........
I let the farts that make the young girls die.........

I let the farts.... I let the farts................

:D

dr_evazan22
02-08-2007, 04:59 PM
I've been having some bad ones lately as well. Ever since I met my GF about 4 months ago. I'm not sure what makes me more sick - my own stink, or the fact that she doesn't seem to mind.

I'm hoping it's just a phase, but it has been a couple months now...

Oh yeah, those really really heavy farts... They suck when they happen in the shower. Steam-farts seem so much worse, like the steam acts as a magnifier.

Blue2th
02-08-2007, 07:07 PM
Steam-farts seem so much worse, like the steam acts as a magnifier.
"Give me steam, and what you feel can make it real" "Stand back"- Peter Gabriel :laugh:

Jargo
02-08-2007, 07:42 PM
I inherited a strange gas problem from my dad. Who is a champion stink leaver. Thunderous eruptions and eggy odours abound. Sometimes there's a competition in my house between me the dog and my other half. who also has evil guts. It's probably a spicey food thing with me though. the day after a bag of doritos I was unstoppable. though i can't get out of bed unless i've caused the quilt to rise like a hot air balloon. it's deply satisfying to let rip and cause the neighbours dog to start barking too.
wind is fun kids. let one go today!

Lowly Bantha Cleaner
02-09-2007, 09:58 PM
Bah, rank amateurs you all shall be. There are only amateurs when compared to the real master. So exercise those spinchter muscles, and eat more cabbage stew, but realize you'll always be second fiddle to this guy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Petomane

Slicker
02-10-2007, 06:24 PM
They're baaaaaaack!


This time it's DIRECTLY attributed to drinking "adult" beverages last night. I think I drank 2 pitchers of "adult" beverage and all day today I've been lettin' 'em go.

scruffziller
02-13-2007, 02:21 PM
What about this guy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Methane

Slicker
02-13-2007, 02:24 PM
Those guys are frauds!!! They suck air in then let it out! They probably don't even stink!

Mine are the real deal (and absent today :upset: ) but they'll soon be back; and in greater numbers.

I'm having cheeseburgers with fried eggs on 'em again tonight.:thumbsup:

General_Grievous
02-14-2007, 10:42 PM
What's tubgirl?

You don't want to know, dude. Trust me. You. Do. Not. Want. To. Know.

Anyway, I've been letting out so many of those machine gun farts (you know, the ones that sound like you're in a shooting range) that if I let one rip next to a Nam vet he'd get flashbacks. I kid you not. They've been loud lately.

Rocketboy
02-14-2007, 11:39 PM
You don't want to know, dude. Trust me. You. Do. Not. Want. To. Know.

Anyway, I've been letting out so many of those machine gun farts (you know, the ones that sound like you're in a shooting range) that if I let one rip next to a Nam vet he'd get flashbacks. I kid you not. They've been loud lately.Oh, I know what tubgirl is. I expected someone to tell me to google it or something.


I'm Diabolical like that.
:thumbsup:

Lowly Bantha Cleaner
02-15-2007, 08:06 PM
Those guys are frauds!!! They suck air in then let it out! They probably don't even stink!

True, those may be odorless, but do I see you Slicker putting out candles from across the room by a emitting a cascade of wind that erupts from your butt cheeks?


I think not.

CaptainSolo1138
02-16-2007, 06:29 AM
o buuuuuuuuurn he got u gud slik!

2-1B
02-16-2007, 09:59 PM
okay, I searched that term and first found a photoshoot featuring Wil Wheaton and a cell phone.

then I looked again and found a reference to the real horror in question and good lord that was enough, I don't need to see a picture on top of it. :dead:

I am vaguely reminded of an email video going around during college called "Beans"....yuck.

Kidhuman
02-17-2007, 06:08 AM
I let one rip in my car yesterday. If there was a baby seal in the proximity, he would have begged to be clubbed.

Val Da Car
02-17-2007, 08:59 AM
I had a Roast Beef sandwich with African Peanut Stew (with green chilis) and I Dutch Ovened my wife in the car with the heat on. (I love cold wisconsin days).

She had me vent BOTH windows to suck the stank out but since her windows was down lower it all went to her side of the car.

:love:

General_Grievous
02-17-2007, 09:03 AM
I'm going to change the subject a bit with a question from left field.

Do you guys like the smell of your own farts?

I think everyone loves their own brand. :thumbsup:

El Chuxter
02-18-2007, 09:12 PM
My wife loves to cup her hands over Chux Jr's butt, catch her fart, and then shove her hand in my face.

If ever confronted, she would totally deny it.

CaptainSolo1138
02-18-2007, 09:41 PM
My wife loves to cup her hands over Chux Jr's butt, catch her fart, and then shove her hand in my face.

If ever confronted, she would totally deny it.The day that its more than a fart coming out will be your payback.

Slicker
03-04-2007, 11:54 PM
They're back and more intense than ever. I'm actually sitting at my computer, farting, and waiting several seconds and sniffing them. It's not different than Tycho sniffing mouse droids so don't judge me.

You can also go to my "cheeseburger with egg" thread to find the reason why...

Val Da Car
03-05-2007, 07:48 PM
Smoked Pork Shoulder (aka BUTT) for 6 1/2 hours

SPicy with Baked Beans.

Today's episode in the carpool lane was Operation Gas n' Go

General_Grievous
03-06-2007, 08:16 PM
They're back and more intense than ever. I'm actually sitting at my computer, farting, and waiting several seconds and sniffing them. It's not different than Tycho sniffing mouse droids so don't judge me.
Dude, nobody's gonna judge you on that one. As I said a few posts back, everyone loves their own brand.

Lowly Bantha Cleaner
03-07-2007, 04:20 PM
I loved my own brand so much, that I had a specially constructed suit made just for me, to enjoy the lasting scent from the aroma of my ***** wind.

Jargo
03-07-2007, 06:23 PM
oh dear god i have been letting rip with the most noxious aromas from my rear all day. smells like something died! I am certainly not loving my own brand. I blame muesli bars and a hideous beef steak pie i had last night. I can't think of anything else I've eaten that would lead to a vile atom splitting fume like the ones emitting from me.
I dropped one this afternoon that followed me through the house and out into the back yard. truly an evil entity.

Deoxyribonucleic
02-29-2008, 08:51 PM
HOLY COW, I'm now in Slick's position! I'm almost stinking myself out of my own house. I hope no one comes over soon because seriously, I think the house smells like burning sulfur!!

I was sitting out on the porch earlier and squeezed what I thought was going to be a small, silent one out, and it reverberated through the entire neighborhood :nerv:

TeeEye7
02-29-2008, 10:00 PM
Well....that explains the report from Cal-Tech! :yes:

;)

UKWildcat
02-29-2008, 10:23 PM
Most attractive Deox!



And I say that with all seriousness. I bet it was the sexiest fart to have ever been squeezed from a pair of cheeks since the beginning of time. I'm sure Cea will back me up on this...