PDA

View Full Version : The Chukha-Trok facts!



El Chuxter
02-15-2007, 10:06 AM
A thread for fun facts about Chukha-Trok (http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/chukhatrok/index.html), the manliest of all Ewoks.

In other words, "Make your own EU!"


There were no Duloks in Return of the Jedi. This is because Chukha-Trok got hammered one night and woke up in bed with a Dulok female. Outraged at waking up with a furry green... thing, he singlehandedly decimated the entire Dulok population.
Chukha-Trok can break the laws of time and space, effectively giving him the power to bash your head in last week.
Despite the way it appears onscreen, Chukha-Trok was not killed by the Gorax. He was fed up with that annoying kid, Mace Towani, and pretended to sleep so the brat would leave him alone. He returned to the village a week later, p***ed that the others had left him for dead, and riding a toothless Gorax. ("One thing you gotta know about Goraxes," he said, "Goraxes bounce!") He was so mad that he beat the Ewoks until their eyes turned black, and then kicked Logray's butt so hard that all the color in his fur ran away.
Chukha-Trok was on vacation in Maui when the Imperials invaded. He came back and saw a big metal Death Star in the sky. Man, was he ever mad! So he threw a rock into the sky and blew it up. Sadly, some punk named Wedge got all the credit.
Following the Battle of Endor, Chukha-Trok married Torryn Farr.
Chewbacca once challenged Chukha-Trok to a fight. The only time Chewie has ever spoken English was when he was crying, "Uncle! Uncle!"
Chukha-Trok once killed a man simply by looking at him.


And two more, courtesy of BigB:

The Force Unleashed Darth Vader is from when Chukha-Trok took on the Dark Lord of the Sith....

Chukha-Trok let him off easy that day.

Chuck Norris is scared of Chukha-Trok.

Kidhuman
02-15-2007, 10:14 AM
Chukha-Toks sounds like chocolate tracks.

Qui-Long Gone
02-15-2007, 10:55 AM
Tasty chocolate tracks....lol

General_Grievous
02-15-2007, 03:51 PM
Chukha-Trok impregnated Padme.

He's also Anna Nicole Smith's baby daddy.

JEDIpartner
02-15-2007, 05:34 PM
Chukha Chukha Chukha Chukha-Trok... Chukha-Trok...
Chukha-Trok, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chukha-Trok
Let me rock you, that's all I wanna do
Chukha-Trok, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chukha-Trok
Let me rock you, let me feel for you
Chukha-Trok let me tell you what I wanna do
Do you feel for me, the way I feel for you
Chukha-Trok let me tell you what I wanna do
I wanna love you, wanna hug you, wanna squeeze you too
Let me take you in my arms
Let me fill you with my charms, Chukha
'Cause you know that I'm the one to keep you warm
Chukha, I'll make you more than just a physical dream
I wanna rock you, Chukha
Baby, cause you make me wanna scream
Let me rock you, rock you...



:thumbsup:

2-1B
02-18-2007, 09:28 AM
That SW.com writeup on El Chuxah Trok is very fitting. :(

JEDIpartner
02-19-2007, 10:14 AM
:eek: Just :eek:

Qui-Long Gone
02-20-2007, 09:03 PM
If only Trok were here now....he could solve Global Warming with his Ewok wisdom....




Oh never mind, spring is nearly here and the snow's almost gone!

2-1B
02-20-2007, 09:18 PM
I bet Chukha plays a MEAN washboard on that rig he's wearing on his torso.

bigbarada
02-21-2007, 02:00 AM
Many believe that Chukha-Trok wasn't in the Endor Battle in ROTJ; but he played a very important role just offscreen..... SOMEBODY had to hog-tie that AT-AT.


After sitting through a screening of Captain EO, Chukha-Trok slapped the black out of Michael Jackson.

Qui-Long Gone
02-21-2007, 06:36 PM
I heard Jackson bought his bones after he died and keeps them in a jar next to his Elephant Man bones and black skin....

El Chuxter
05-25-2007, 11:17 PM
According to General Grievous (the forumite, not the plot device), Chukha-Trok used to run a "Scared Straight" program on Endor for wayward teens. One of the graduates of this program was the famous Y-Wing pilot, Lanny Mulletman.

And you thought your last name had to be Skywalker to be part of the silly coincidences of Star Wars.

General_Grievous
05-26-2007, 12:01 AM
According to General Grievous (the forumite, not the plot device), Chukha-Trok used to run a "Scared Straight" program on Endor for wayward teens. One of the graduates of this program was the famous Y-Wing pilot, Lanny Mulletman.


Indeed, Chukha-Trok did run the program. Among the other graduates of the program included Elan Sleazebaggano, Jek Porkins, and Ike Turner.

bigbarada
06-07-2007, 10:14 PM
Unlike other male Ewoks, Chukha-Trok doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

On a high school math test, Chukha-Trok put down "violence" as every one of his answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chukha-Trok solves all his problems with violence.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chukha-Trok.

CaptainSolo1138
06-08-2007, 07:12 AM
Chukha-Trok only came for the nachos.

El Chuxter
06-08-2007, 09:16 AM
No, the nachos only came for Chukha-Trok.

bigbarada
06-09-2007, 11:07 AM
Chukha-Trok invented nachos, so he gets 5 credits everytime someone mentions nachos...

nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos nachos

El Chuxter
06-09-2007, 07:33 PM
He must be making a killing off this board.

Qui-Long Gone
06-10-2007, 11:00 AM
He must be making a killing off this board.

Killing is what Trok does best....

Mr. JabbaJohnL
06-13-2007, 07:02 PM
Chukha-Trok taught Ric Olie how to fly and also taught him the catchphrase "you catch on pretty quick."

Sifo-Dyas' real identity? Chukha-Trok.

When Darth Vader needed the life-sustaining suit on Mustafar, Chukha-Trok gladly donated him S&M gear. He then replaced it with that sweet washboard.

El Chuxter
12-11-2007, 03:09 PM
Chukha-Trok wishes you a Merry Christmas. Even if you're an atheist. Or Jewish. Or Muslim. Have a Merry Christmas, or he'll break you in half over his knee. And that includes drinking a lot of eggnog and singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" complete with the ad libs. He's watching you.

Qui-Long Gone
12-19-2007, 11:24 AM
I heard Trok did some uncredited stunt work in the Alien vs. Predator Req.....or is that gossip? According to my sources he was too rough for the title role(s) so they went with the Predator hunting down the aliens and humans....

General_Grievous
12-19-2007, 11:50 AM
In Soviet Russia, Chukha Troks you!

El Chuxter
01-30-2008, 11:39 PM
<bump> in honor of the similar Zorba thread I'm about to post. :thumbsup:

2-1B
06-21-2009, 08:51 PM
FACT:
Chukha-Trok has a nice little write-up on page 29 of the current Star Wars Insider. :thumbsup:

El Chuxter
02-11-2010, 04:22 PM
Chukha-Trok is so scary, he threatened Hasbro sculptors, and they tried to work him into a Star Tours set, even though he never appeared in the safety video, claiming the ride was "lamer than Paploo after I finished kicking his butt."

2-1B
02-11-2010, 10:45 PM
Chukha-Trok has such staying power, the previous 4 posts in this thread were made in 4 different calendar years in 2 different decades:
2007
2008
2009
2010

bigbarada
02-11-2010, 11:32 PM
Chukha-Trok once kicked a baby Bantha into puberty.

Chukha-Trok has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chukha-Trok is what Willis is talking about.

Chukha-Trok puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter."

Chukha-Trok can speak braille.

Chukha-Trok doesn't know where you live, but he knows where you will die.