Attention, Denizens of SSG!!

[El Chuxter]

You may be wondering why El Chuxter's avatar has been changed from the so-called "Avatar of the Year" to this picture of a stunningly handsome man in a lavender suit.

The answer is quite simple:

I am not your precious El Chuxter!

I am Louie the Lilac!!

Yes, it is I, the deadliest archvillain ever to attempt a heist at the Gotham National Bank. Though the Dynamic Dunces have foiled my plans thus far to make, shall we say, a very large withdrawal, I have concocted the greatest scheme yet!

I have kidnapped El Chuxter, and am using his computer and account to access this website. El Chuxter is being held in the basement where he is closely guarded by my henchmen, Acacia, Arbutus, Petunia, Azalia, Lotus, Grimace, Grape Ape, and Barney. El Chuxter will be fed to my gigantic hybrid violet venus flytrap at this time tomorrow, and your website will be crushed by a giant grape, killing everyone here, if you do not bow to my demands!

My demands are simple. I need an army of 5,000 Mace Jedi Starfighters, equipped with Mace's Astromech Droids, and flown by the purple Clonetroopers from the Mace Windu's Battallion BattlePack!

And then, with this new purple armada at my command, I shall crush the Caped Crusaders and become the first villain to successfully rob both the Gotham National Bank and the Gotham Natural History museum in a single day!

The purple army must be delivered to my purple house (http://www.nationaltrust.org/images/washington_dc_house.jpg) on Lavender Lane in exactly 24 hours. Grimace will be waiting to take delivery. At that time, I will release El Chuxter and remove the giant grape that is poised to crush this site.

THIS I COMMAND!!

[CaptainSolo1138]

No



freakin'



way.

Is nothing sacred anymore? You can't be happy taking over one site? You have to get them all? You're like Devastator with a bad sense of fashion.

[General_Grievous]

Y'know, Louie, you kinda look like Don Knotts.

[Rogue II]

Actually that looks more like Milton Berle than Don Knotts.

[2-1B]

But is he as endowed as Uncle Miltie ?

[Jargo]

OMG! that is sooooooooooo ghey! Dude you are like sooooooooooo camp it's unbelieeeeeeeeeeevable! OMG! Like - OMG! Sashay baby!

[Kidhuman]

Please, before you feed EC to the Venus Fly Trap, have him mail by box of goodies out.

[2-1B]

30 Helens Agree...Louie is quite the Lilac.

[Dar' Argol]

El Chuxter is being held in the basement where he is closely guarded by my henchmen, Acacia, Arbutus, Petunia, Azalia, Lotus, Grimace, Grape Ape, and Barney. El Chuxter will be fed to my gigantic hybrid violet venus flytrap at this time tomorrow, and your website will be crushed by a giant grape, killing everyone here, if you do not bow to my demands!

You forgot about your henchman Dogwood! Or Sassafras and Saffron!

[El Chuxter]

Since Batman has not found my hideout here at the abandoned perfumery on Lavender Lane, the urgency of my demand is slightly abated.

You have until this time Monday to deliver the purple army. Only now, I want 10,000 Mace Windu's Jedi Starfighters piloted by purple clones from Mace Windu's Battallion and equipped with Mace Windu's astromech droids... and, now, the clones must also be armed with lightsabers from various Mace Windu resculpts, and I must be given a Master Replicas Mace Windu lightsaber with which to lead my troops into battle!

I'll hit Batman from behind while he's doing the Bat-tussi, and defeat him before Robin can make a crack about holy toy soldiers!

Mwa-ha-ha-ha!!

Refuse my demands, and El Chuxter will be fed to the very hungry violet venus flytrap and your website shall be crushed by the giant grape! Also, I will send my terrifying purple dragon (http://www.webdisney.com/interactive/cards/images/figment.jpg) and my most vicious purple henchman (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a9/Grimace.jpg) to track down any survivors and grind them into purple cheeseburgers that they will drop into the purple toilet (http://www.ourfixerupper.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/purpleToilet.jpg) a few days later.

The clock is ticking!

Deliver my purple army, or you will all die in a violent purple haze.

THIS I COMMAND!!

[Jargo]

ok what say we put some gogo boys in purple hotpants and see if that satisfies Mr. louie.

[Jargo]

Did the deadline pass yet? Is chux obliterated? did the mauve marauders fool the lilac fiend with their majorette display teamwork? Will they ever get Timmy out of the damned well!?? Oh god it's ALL TOO MU-U-UCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[El Chuxter]

The deadline did pass, but I'm feeling rather generous today.

Actually, it turns out the violet venus flytrap is unable to devour Chux in one bite (as planned), as it is a mere seven inches tall. It ate half of a fingernail and was feeling quite full afterward. The demise of El Chuxter may take longer than anticipated.

And Grape Ape, Grimace, and Figment are trying on women's underwear at Wal-Mart down the street, stepping out of the ladies' fitting room when there's a crowd gathered and asking if various purple undergarments make them look fat. It's a pretty sick, stupid game they play, but once they get on a roll, they'll continue until there's a winner, which can take months. I'm not quite sure how they decide who the winner is, but when they get back, you shall all be crushed by a giant grape if I ain't got my purple army, yo!

THIS I COMMAND!!

[Jargo]

Good grief Charlie Brown!

How come no superhero has donned his spandex to ZAP! POW! BLAM! this situation to a conclusion? I thought America was overun by the pants over the bodysuit flappy cape and eyemask type superhero?

[General_Grievous]

Because all the superheroes are off handling real villains like Man-Wolf, Mad Hatter, and Mr. Mxyzptlk. :p

[pbarnard]

Jerry Falwell called and wants his Tinky Winky blow up doll back.

[2-1B]

I am not a denizen.
I am a citizen.

[LusiferSam]

Louie, I've decide to can go a head and keep Chux. You're much more entertaining. Can you sing in purple too?

[Bel-Cam Jos]

Well, I was gonna sneak up behind ya, grab ya by yer chest and twist, thereby freeing innocent victim Chux. But then I figured you've impervious to Purple Nurfles.

So, I tried to call the members of the 1970s Minnesota Vikings defense, but since many of them are sick, dead, or out of contact, the Purple People Eaters were not to protect the captive, either.

Then, I decided to change the tint on my screen, eliminating the red, and turning you into a harmless Bluey the Lilac, but I was too lazy to even give it a try.

You win, oh mighty villain!

[Rocketboy]

$10 says the purple weirdo ain't got the grape gumdrops to do it.

[Tycho]

Tycho here: the insane are always attracted to the insanity.

Could we have any more mental imbalance in this thread? :lipsrsealed:

[LusiferSam]

Tycho here: the insane are always attracted to the insanity.

Could we have any more mental imbalance in this thread? :lipsrsealed:

State has yet to prove anything regarding my mental stability.

[pbarnard]

$10 says the purple weirdo ain't got the grape gumdrops to do it.

Don't want to know why they're purple. But please, put the boys down and wash your hands before posting.

[El Chuxter]

Can you sing in purple too?

Yes.

I never meant 2 cause u any sorrow
I never meant 2 cause u any pain
I only wanted 2 one time see u laughing
I only wanted 2 see u laughing in the purple rain
Purple rain, Purple rain
Purple rain, Purple rain
Purple rain, Purple rain

I only wanted 2 see u bathing in the purple rain

I never wanted 2 be your weekend lover
I only wanted 2 be some kind of friend
Baby I could never steal u from another
It's such a shame our friendship had 2 end

Purple rain, Purple rain
Purple rain, Purple rain
Purple rain, Purple rain

I only wanted 2 see u underneath the purple rain

Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing
It's time we all reach out 4 something new
That means u 2
U say u want a leader
But u can't seem 2 make up your mind
I think u better close it
And let me guide u 2 the purple rain

Purple rain, Purple rain
Purple rain, Purple rain

If you know what I'm singing about up here
C'mon raise your hand

Purple rain, Purple rain

I only want 2 see u, only want 2 see u
In the purple rain

THIS I COMMAND!!

[Tycho]

Michael Bay here once again borrowing Tycho's log-in.

I recognize real talent when I see it - like Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett. So I propose an alliance between myself, the awesome Michael Bay, and Louie the Lilac. In exchange for holding El Chuxter hostage until July 6th and bringing him bound and gagged to my awesome movie, The Awesome Transformers in awesome live action, which opens on July 4th to my awesome fan response, I will make "Purple Harbor: the movie."

This movie will open with a purple helicopter flown by Louie the Lilac chasing a purple car being driven by El Chuxter. There will be plenty of explosions and no feasible plot that anyone could possibly believe!

I'm ready to negotiate the offer.

[El Chuxter]

Can Batman die in it?

And what are the chances my buddies Egghead, King Tut, and Bookworm can have cameos?

THIS I COMMAND!!

[Tycho]

Can Batman die in it?

Sure. I think we should humiliate him first, though - don't you? For instance, paint the batsuit purple - and do a spray paint job on his car - that'll be purple too!

Oh, and I think he should transform. Yeah, I see everything as transforming nowadays. He should convert from human to bat and back again. I mean, why else call him Batman? And he should be purple of course.

I had my special effects guys do a quick rendering of the toy concept (see picture attached) If you buy 5 of these and mail in the proofs of purchases, you'll get a Headmaster toy that sports the likeness of Steven Spielberg which will unlock more hidden transformation secrets.



And what are the chances my buddies Egghead, King Tut, and Bookworm can have cameos?

Please post their glamor shots and I'll see what there is to work with.

[El Chuxter]

Uh....

Um....

Dude, what the hell?

How did all these ridiculous purple-themed posts purporting to have me purloined in a purgatory in the privacy of my own... um, basement, show up while I was gone?

I don't even have a basement!!

Is this some really stupid joke by KH?

Or...

Is this related to that guy who showed up at my house right before I left to "fix the wiring"? He sort of looked like Milton Berle, and that ridiculous purple suit clued me in immediately that he wasn't really from the cable company. I kicked him off my property, but he made sure to compliment the lilacs and violets in the flower garden before he left in this goofy purple antique car.

You don't think he hacked into my computer somehow, do you?

Something tells me I won't find out until next week: Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!

[El Chuxter]

A-ha!!

The ruse perpetuated by my colleague, Louie the Lilac, has allowed I, the great and incomparable Egghead, to now capture El Chuxter even as he himself egg-zecutes terrible vengeance upon Rogue II!

Soon, all of the egg-stremely vicious villains of the old Batman television show shall consume this entire site. This is all according to my egg-stensive master plan. Hasbro, you see, has produced a dearth of egg-related Star Wars memorabilia, and I plan to use the power of such egg-straordinary fiends as Louie, Bookworm, Puzzler, Chandell's brother Harry, and, of course, Marsha, Queen of Diamonds, to overpower the user accounts here and transfer that power to the egg-sternal world.

Today, SirStevesGuide to Star Wars. Tomorrow, the egg-stended world! Which will, logically, give us the perfect opportunity to egg-stract the riches of the Gotham National Bank!

Mwa-ha-ha-ha!!

Now, you must egg-scuse me. My lovely paramour, Olga, Queen of the Cossacks, is relieving herself of her egg-screment, and I believe there's no TP in that particular lavatory.