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View Full Version : Ewoks are the greatest! Proven fact.



bigbarada
06-09-2007, 12:53 PM
Let's break this down:

Fact #1: The Jedi were considered the baddest mofos in the galaxy, so powerful they wiped out most of the Sith and drove the survivors into hiding

Fact #2: The Clonetroopers destroyed the Jedi with little effort

Fact #3: The Ewoks made short work of the Clones on Endor and didn't just wipe them out, but humiliated them in the process

Thus - Ewoks>Clones>Jedi>Sith

Sorry, you can't argue with the evidence.

:D:D:D

Jargo
06-09-2007, 01:26 PM
The Ewoks had strategic military guidance from the rebels though. however. fuzzballs the live 200 feet up in the tree canopies had to have balls of steel.

DarthQuack
06-09-2007, 02:04 PM
Don't forget they are very tactical.

2-1B
06-09-2007, 02:53 PM
not as great as Gungans.

bigbarada
06-09-2007, 03:55 PM
not as great as Gungans.

No, the Gungans had been defeated by the Battle Droids and were only saved by Anakin's "lucky shot" on the Droid Control Ship.

The Clonetroopers easily defeated the Battle Droids on Geonosis. So....

Ewoks>Clones>Battle Droids>Gungans

2-1B
06-09-2007, 05:28 PM
The Gungan ground battle was a diversion.

Jargo
06-09-2007, 05:42 PM
that's what george keeps telling himself......

bigbarada
06-09-2007, 06:32 PM
The Gungan ground battle was a diversion.

Well, the Ewok Battle was technically a diversion also. Since it's only goal was to draw the Imperials away from the shield bunker long enough for Han to destroy it.

However, the Ewoks didn't need to rely on the blind luck of a 9-year old boy to take down the Imperials. By the time the Rebels got around to destroying the second Death Star, the Ewoks had defeated the Imperial troopers and were already sitting around the campfire singing the "Yub Yub" song and making S'mores.:p

JediTricks
06-09-2007, 06:58 PM
The destruction of the Trade Fed droid control ship wasn't written as luck, it just got edited down to look that way.


The ewoks didn't really defeat the Empire so much as a handful of loser stormtroopers who couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. Had the Empire sent a trio of AT-ATs to cut down trees in their way and then obliterate the enemy, we'd all be singing songs of the giant ewok roadkill stew.

El Chuxter
06-09-2007, 08:29 PM
The Gungans didn't use the severed heads of Imperials as drums, either.

And don't forget that the Ewoks made short work of the Gorax. And they had Teek to help out, and Noa fed them nutritious oatmeal every morning. Plus Chukha-Trok. Can't forget him.

(And you know as well as I do that, every night as Mace slept, Romba put his hand in warm water, and he peed in his pants. The Ewoks all found that funny.)

DarthQuack
06-09-2007, 09:15 PM
The Gungans didn't use the severed heads of Imperials as drums, either.

That was my favorite part of the movie. :thumbsup:

bigbarada
06-10-2007, 12:43 AM
Do you think the Ewoks cooked and ate all of those clones? I mean, they were going to cook Han Solo, so why wouldn't they?

Maybe that's what the whole Darth Vader Funeral Pyre scene was really about... it was just Luke starting up the barbeque.:D

Rocketboy
06-10-2007, 12:47 AM
Fact #3: The Ewoks made short work of the Clones on Endor and didn't just wipe them out, but humiliated them in the processThis is where your equation fails. There were no Clones on Endor. There were Stormtroopers.

2-1B
06-10-2007, 01:03 AM
And there were no severed heads, just empty helmets used for percussion.

bigB, the Gungan battle was also a diversion from the Maul/Obi/Qui fight. :p

Chux is right about Teek - without him, the Ewoks are nothing.

So really, if the Ewoks are better than all other groups in the SW saga, then we can put a note about Teek>Ewoks into the mix. lol

bigbarada
06-10-2007, 01:14 AM
This is where your equation fails. There were no Clones on Endor. There were Stormtroopers.

I hear you brother, but unfortunately Hasbro and Lucasfilm seem to be injecting clones into the OT more and more each year.:cry:

In case you haven't realized, this whole thread is more than a little tongue-in-cheek. On MMA forums it's what we refer to as "fighter math." In other words:

If Fighter A defeats Fighter B, then Fighter A > Fighter B

If Fighter C defeats Fighter A, then Fighter C > Fighter A > Fighter B

Which is a total logical fallacy, since Fighter C might have weakness that Fighter B can exploit or Fighter B might just get in a lucky punch and knock-out Fighter C.

So, I don't really believe that the Ewoks could have taken out the Jedi or the Sith; but it was fun to see all the feathers get ruffled on here.:D

2-1B
06-10-2007, 01:19 AM
Teek is infallible.

PLEASE don't ruffle his white fur. lol

bigbarada
06-10-2007, 01:19 AM
bigB, the Gungan battle was also a diversion from the Maul/Obi/Qui fight. :p


That whole battle was just a pointless diversion anyway. Let's see, Queen Amidala goes from being the Gungans' "humble servant" to sending their entire race on a massive suicide mission.:stupid: What's up with that?

Rocketboy
06-10-2007, 12:04 PM
I hear you brother, but unfortunately Hasbro and Lucasfilm seem to be injecting clones into the OT more and more each year.:cry:I refuse to believe those were clones in Jedi. They'd all be dead or really, really old.
The whole alternate sources for genetic material doesn't cut it (much like the Geonosians building the Death Star).

El Chuxter
06-10-2007, 12:20 PM
The Ewoks not only ate the Stormtroopers, but Chukha-Trok personally force-fed a few bites to each and every Rebel.

Wedge liked the flavor so much, he was a cannibal from that day forward. The EU ignores the fact that he ate Han Solo a week later after jumping him in the privy.

JimJamBonds
06-11-2007, 12:19 AM
That whole battle was just a pointless diversion anyway. Let's see, Queen Amidala goes from being the Gungans' "humble servant" to sending their entire race on a massive suicide mission.:stupid: What's up with that?

Amidala didn't command the Gungan's to go into battle they could have stayed in their swamp.

Qui-Long Gone
06-11-2007, 10:18 AM
Teek is infallible.

PLEASE don't ruffle his white fur. lol

The only reason his fur is white is because the other colors are afraid to cling to him....

Yes Ewoks are the superior race and as far as we know the stromtroopers were clones....ANH establishes that there was a clone war and none of the OT films definitively establish their identity....as much as some may not want it to be so, it's actually not far fetched that the clones became stormtroopers....And weren't they always called imperial troopers? I'm trying to think of any time in the OT films where someone says stormtrooper....?????

El Chuxter
06-11-2007, 11:10 AM
Doesn't Ben say that only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise (because he apparently hasn't seen them in action for decades)?

And I know Leia says Luke is a little short for a Stormtrooper. And C-3PO comments on Stormtroopers in Cloud City as soon as his head is reattached.