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Tycho
07-02-2007, 12:45 AM
Police Respond To Huge Brawl Between Autobot And Decepticon Fans At Transformers Film

Associated Press - Hartland, TX

At a special advanced screening event held for a charity benefit, police were called in to respond to a riotous brawl between "Autobot" and "Decepticon" fans in line for the new Transformers movie.

Amongst those arrested, Chris Armstrong talked to the media to enlighten the representatives on just what the fight was about.

"I was just in line waiting with my friends to be let in to the show when another group of fans wearing Decepticon ball caps and T-shirt logos came by us and tried to shove us out of line," Armstrong said. "They shouted slurs against the Autobots and said things like 'Optimus Prime sucks!' and that Michael Bay had betrayed the franchise. Our group [wearing Autobot regalia] responded by asking them why? 'Because Frank Welker wasn't cast as Megatron [the Decepticon Leader] and they totally rearranged the representation of his character for this movie? That's just because Decepticons are losers and they don't really matter anyway!"

The verbal conflict escalated into shoving from there. Decepticon fan Brent Frosch said the Autobot fans were "a bunch of emo-newbies who had no appreciation for the rich historic legacy the Transformers franchise has enjoyed for the past twenty years and even [Optimus Prime voice actor] Peter Cullen failed to respect that, otherwise he would have refused to do this film."

An Autobot fan responded, "Until all are one!" and shoved Frosch, who then slapped the other fan's glasses off by trying to bludgeon him with his pocket protector. This instigated a full-scale brawl as the other Autobot fans stepped forward to come to their partisan’s defense.

Soon, over twenty people were engaged in the melee and the police made nineteen arrests. Some suspects were apprehended while talking to the officers’ patrol cars pleading with any who might be alien life-forms in disguise to intervene on their faction’s behalf.

Officer Frank Pierce had never seen anything like it. “Before tonight I had no idea what a Decepticon was. I think my four-year-old son plays with them, but I never paid it that much attention. Now we’re going to have to photograph tattoos and treat these fans just like any other gang members. I never could have predicted this.”

The Transformers movie opens in theaters everywhere on July 3.

Beast
07-02-2007, 12:56 AM
Please tell me you're joking... dear god.

I mean, it sounds like a joke... but knowing insane fans, I'm almost afraid it's real.

figrin bran
07-02-2007, 01:08 AM
Nice try Tycho

stillakid
07-02-2007, 01:08 AM
Sounds like The Onion

El Chuxter
07-02-2007, 02:13 AM
I'm leaning toward fake, for the simple reason I doubt anyone who's the proper age to have a 4 year old kid would know a Decepticon.

figrin bran
07-02-2007, 02:24 AM
When are you going to fess up Mr. Celchu?

I googled Hartland, TX and no such place exists. Might as well be Arlen, Texas! AP would never allow such tomfoolery to get published.

El Chuxter
07-02-2007, 03:01 AM
I didn't even notice this was attributed to the AP until you pointed it out, Figgy.

I can now say conclusively this is a fake story, based on a few deviations from standard AP style guidelines, especially in paragraph #2. Very good attempt, though, Tycho. :D

LTBasker
07-02-2007, 03:28 AM
Obviously the key here is that he himself is being deceptive as he hides behind an Optimus Prime persona. That, in itself, shows he has become so true to the title Decepticon. My keen fiend, your ploy, your plot, your parody may have deceived us, but for no longer than a mere moment. For that, I leave you with this;

We came. We came under the impression of hilarity of truthiness.
We saw. We saw right through your thin veil of hidden deception.
We conquered. We, I, wrote a compelling, wittiful and articulate reply with a dash of PUUUUUUURE OWNNNNNAGE.
We woke up. Huh, it was all a dream!

mastermatt24
07-02-2007, 04:40 AM
Lol thats pretty good nonetheless. If the whole novel career doesnt work out, you could always write the AP wires. :p

JEDIpartner
07-02-2007, 10:46 AM
Why don't we have a "rolling on the floor laughing" smiley???!!!!

We need to get one right away!!!

http://www.togerland.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/rotf.gif

CaptainSolo1138
07-02-2007, 12:41 PM
I think a STFU (http://www.middleearthcenter.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticons/sign_stfu.gif) one would be used more, though.

decadentdave
07-02-2007, 12:45 PM
I checked The Onion and could only find this one:

Transformer Refuses To Change Back Into Volkswagen (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/32786?utm_source=Distributed&utm_medium=Embedded%2BHTML&utm_campaign=Widgets)


CYBERTRON—Following an intense battle with Megatron and his evil Decepticons Monday, former robot-in-disguise Bumblebee refused to revert to his natural state as a yellow Volkswagen Beetle. "I hid my existence in this world by taking the form of a vehicle! I revealed my true nature when I was called upon to protect earth!" said Bumblebee, a member of Optimus Prime's heroic Autobots force. "I refuse to change back into a humiliating bubble-shaped compact car!" Bumblebee added that Megatron arrived on earth with one goal: Destruction!

JEDIpartner
07-02-2007, 03:45 PM
I think a STFU (http://www.middleearthcenter.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticons/sign_stfu.gif) one would be used more, though.


I think this one is a little funnier...

STFU (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v695/JEDIpartner/Silly%20Pictures/stfuclean.jpg)

figrin bran
07-02-2007, 10:22 PM
I think a STFU (http://www.middleearthcenter.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticons/sign_stfu.gif) one would be used more, though.



I think this one is a little funnier...

come on, if we're going to do that, we'd have to do it for almost all of Tycho's threads! :p

that cookie monster one is hilarious btw!

bobafrett
07-02-2007, 11:42 PM
"Transformers, Robots with big thighs."

Dar' Argol
07-03-2007, 07:19 AM
An Autobot fan responded, "Until all are one!" and shoved Frosch, who then slapped the other fan's glasses off by trying to bludgeon him with his pocket protector. This instigated a full-scale brawl as the other Autobot fans stepped forward to come to their partisan’s defense.

You had me until the above underlined part. I mean come on . . everyone know if you are going to bludgeon someone you use your Texas Instruments Calculator! Pocket Protectors are too flimsy!


On the point of STFU I like this one
(http://www.forumspile.com/STFU-Baby_2.jpg)

CaptainSolo1138
07-03-2007, 07:28 AM
come on, if we're going to do that, we'd have to do it for almost all of Tycho's threads! :p
I think that's why multiple suggestions are being made, since any one would be wore out within a week or so.

JEDIpartner
07-03-2007, 08:56 AM
come on, if we're going to do that, we'd have to do it for almost all of Tycho's threads! :p

that cookie monster one is hilarious btw!

'tis true... and I thank you. :pleased: