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Jargo
02-08-2002, 09:14 PM
As a companion to the 'if you could be anyone' thread I thought I'd offer up an alternative and ask who wouldn't you be and why?

I wouldn't be one of the guys in the death star turbo laser channel as the damn thing goes off when they destroy Alderaan. those guys it has been pointed out would suffer the most horrible burns and heat blisters and skin cancers and nasty stuff like that due to the power of that laser. I most definately wouldn't be them.

I wouldn't be any sentry trooper in an Imperial environment because there's bound to be a rebel just around the corner to jump out and stab/choke/thump/shoot at me.

I wouldn't be Dr. Evazan or Ponda baba and I wouldn't go drinking in places frequented by crazy old hermits in shabby brown robes with a shifty glint in their eyes. :D

2-1B
02-08-2002, 09:25 PM
I wouldn't be a TIE pilot - too expendable. Those Rebel pilots have it made with their comraderie and concern for each other.

I wouldn't be an Ewok - high risk of being impressed into service in a second rate spinoff :D

master jedi
02-08-2002, 09:46 PM
I wouldn't be a stormtrooper. They get killed too easily.

Battle Droid
02-08-2002, 10:06 PM
I wouldn't be sissy boy Luke Skywalker, even though he does get Mara Jade.

Bel-Cam Jos
02-09-2002, 11:36 AM
I would not want to be an Ugnaught. Look at 'em! Working in a steamy, dark chamber making blocks of frozen gas, then "fun" is playing "keep away" with a droid and hairy walking carpet.

Others:
The Rebel who stays in the look-out tower :zzz:
Jabba's palace clean-up crew :(
FX-7 (that 2-1B just won't shut up!)
Mos Espa shopkeeper (achy bones, food getting stolen, fights, sun doin' murder to yousa skin, bein' robbed and crunched, etc.)

Rollo Tomassi
02-09-2002, 11:56 AM
I wouldn't be a Jawa selling droids to moisture farmers. Stormtroopers show up blast all your friends and wing ya. Then as you are slowly recovering some simple minded protocol droid picks up your ailing body and tosses you into a sizzling, smoldering campfire. What a jerk.

Tauntaun handler. Ugh. The smell.

The guy that sucks the astromechs out of the X-wings with the giant vaacuum. What un unglorious job THAT is. I bet they draw straws to see who has to go up there. "Do you want a new R2? This one looks pretty beat u...." "Don't talk to me you lowly vacuum boy!" "sorry"

The Naboo security guard in Ep1 that went through all that training to be in the royal security force and then got demoted to "Eopie Wrangler" on Tatooine. I'd be sending out resumees after THAT incident, if you get my meaning.

TeeEye7
02-10-2002, 08:34 AM
Wuher. Poor guy probably never had a date in his life.....

(Even the rancor keeper has a girlfriend.....jargo knows who it is;) !)

Fulit
02-10-2002, 12:15 PM
A Coruscant sewer worker. Can you imagine what the stench of billions of aliens' waste would be like? I bet Hutt poo is foul.

Rollo Tomassi
02-10-2002, 12:59 PM
Yarna D'al gargan's reputation sullied by TeeEye7
(Even the rancor keeper has a girlfriend.....jargo knows who it is;) !)


Jargo was to livid to reply so he asked me to respond thus:

HOW DARE YOU INTIMATE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE GLORIOUS YARNA D'AL GARGAN AND THAT PUGGISH PEGWARMER MALIKILI?!?!:mad: :mad: :mad: CLEARLY THE MAGNIFICENT DIVA MME. GARGAN HAS ENTIRELY TOO MUCH CLASS AND SELF RESPECT AND GOOD JUDGMENT TO BE SEEN WITH SUCH AN OAFISH BEAST!!!:mad: :mad: :mad: DO YOU MEAN TO SUGGEST THAT PEOPLE OF GIRTH ARE ATTRACTED TO OTHER PEOPLE OF GIRTH?:mad: :mad: :mad: CLEARLY YOU HAVE BEEN WATCHING TOO MANY ROSEANNE AND DUKES OF HAZZARD EPISODES.:mad: :mad: :mad: NEVER AGAIN SULLY THE REPUTATION OF THE DIVINE MS. YARNA WITH MALICIOUS RUMORS THAT SHE IS THE "GIRLFRIEND" OF PIGGISH DOLTISH RANCOR WRANGLER...:mad: :mad: :mad:

TeeEye7
02-11-2002, 08:08 AM
....sad, but true. They are an item. I read it in the Tatooine edition of "The Inquierer" ;)

Bel-Cam Jos
02-11-2002, 08:22 PM
TeeEye7, is that the one with the stories "Ewok/Dianoga Bones Found in Smuggler's Contraband Compartment" and "Osama bin Laden Found in Dagobah Cave"? :rolleyes:

Co Jo-Da
02-12-2002, 12:13 AM
A Jawa is definitely what I wouldn't want to be, stupid dessert crawling, junk finding Jawa...

Jargo
02-12-2002, 06:33 AM
AG! he jus - but, I wha - if you d - who b-b-b - Gosh.......

Yeah, what Rollo said... Don't diss the fat chick T.I.7 it isn't worth the pain. GRRRRRRRRRRRR:Pirate: :mad: :frus: :cool: :evil: :crazed: Do it again and I'll send the boys here round to sort you out GOT IT? Ms. Gargan is far too classy to associate with such pondlife as that boz eyed sweaty neanderthal Malakili. Why he's nothing but a pooper scooper to Ms. Gargans high class professional status. Ms. Gargan's reputation reaches from the outer rim territories to the core worlds, she has a busy working schedule and her manager is a personal friend. Remember - it aint over 'til the fat dancer wobbles! yeah, so you mark my words and behave y'self matey or you're gonna wind up swimming with the dianogas............. :evil:

TeeEye7
02-12-2002, 06:47 AM
B-CJ: That's the very issue!

Jargo: I woundn't dare dis the young and lovely Ms. Gargan. Why, the very thought! Your issue is with "The Inquierer" not ME;) I only report what I read :)

gibbspaulus
02-12-2002, 12:21 PM
I really don't want to be the wampa. Poor guy, goes about his naerly abandoned planet, probably hasn't eaten in ages, spies a nice snack and gets his arm chopped off for his efforts.

Kind of like getting knifed for asking for a big mac and fries

JEDIpartner
02-12-2002, 01:10 PM
Why... he reminds me of "Pig Killer" from "Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome".

As for who WOULDN'T I be...?

Dodonna or Rieekan... neither of them really seem to have a lot going on. You never see or hear from either one of them again and neither has gotten an action figure made of him yet!

"General Dodonna, thank you for beautifully commanding the Battle of Yavin. Go stand near Princess Leia when she hands out the medals and then quietly disappear!"

"General Rieekan, thank you for getting MOST of the troops safely away from Hoth. You are to be commended. Oh, by the way... that Ion Cannon cost a pretty pocketful of dataries. Were sending you off to spy on the Maw Installation wearing a Wookiee disguise. Have a nice day."

Darth Ovori
02-18-2002, 05:22 PM
Princess Leia... After she discovered that it was her brother she grabbed...

Kidhuman
11-01-2004, 05:56 PM
Dodonna or Rieekan... neither has gotten an action figure made of him yet!



Time to change your response. :beard:

I wouldnt want to be a stormtrooper or a clone or any expendable soldier . But I would want to be an ARC Trooper

stillakid
11-01-2004, 06:46 PM
I wouldn't want to be anyone in the Prequels...how embarrassing. :nerv:

Bel-Cam Jos
11-01-2004, 07:44 PM
cough! cough! That's not dust on that thread... that's now dirt! This is quite old, almost as old as... something that's old. :confused: :ermm: Nice to see some ol' Forumites I'd not recalled in a long while.

I'd not like to be Sebastian Shaw/Anakin. :mad:

dr_evazan22
11-03-2004, 08:23 PM
Or Empress Ape-Eyes

aceguide
11-05-2004, 08:44 AM
I was never a big fan od Madine. Not only is he sort of a girlyman in the movie, his figures seem to reinforce it.

stillakid
11-05-2004, 09:31 AM
I was never a big fan od Madine. Not only is he sort of a girlyman in the movie, his figures seem to reinforce it.


I agree. What's with that West Hollywood hair? (not that there's anything wrong with that ;) ). In fact, none of the Rebel leadership outside of Reikken comes off as "tough." No wonder they lost all the time.

Kidhuman
11-05-2004, 10:16 AM
I'd not like to be Sebastian Shaw/Anakin. :mad:

Who is that. I was always under the impression that Hayden has always been Anakin. :rolleyes:

Kyle Katarn
11-05-2004, 05:29 PM
I wouldn't be one easy-destroying stormtrooper.

InsaneJediGirl
11-06-2004, 08:39 PM
I wouldnt be a Ewok,Captain Needa or Luke Skywalker.Way too whiney,Han needed to slap him more often :D

vader121
11-12-2004, 10:57 AM
Jawa - always getting kicked around by the 'big kids'
Ugnaught - would you like to resemble a pig or some freak from the 'Island of Dr. Moreau'
Ewok - they are like pets
All Imperial Pilots - die way too easy in shoddy equipment
Sandtrooper - it has to be like an oven in those tin cans
Luke - goes from being a whiney, snot-nozed kid to some cocky, arrogant hack
Dengar - he just looks so sad
Imperial Waste Disposal Tech - working on the trash compactor could really suck
Death Star Commander - cleaning up after Vader's handy work has to get old
Imperial Officer - way too much stress
Salacious Crumb - he just sucks
Jabba - major weight problem. needs to enroll on that suck show 'The Biggest Loser'
Gammorrean Guard - Brainless tards of Jabbas palace. Plus the fact that if you fall into the Rancor Pit your fell Gammorreans laugh at you.
All EP1 characters except Darth Maul - I just don't like EP1

Slicker
11-12-2004, 12:32 PM
*I wouldn't want to be Darth Maul. Aside from being ugly he isn't too very bright. You saw Ep. 1 he just stood there like a tard.

*I wouldn't want to be Jango either both because he sucks as a person and he too just stood there.

Lord_Setnom
11-19-2004, 03:41 AM
DEFINITELY Jar JAr Stinks I mean Binks... Or one of those Jawas that get toasted in ANH... poor guys... oh oh, and the ewok that gets shot while in the air... wow that's gotta hurt