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View Full Version : If YOU were up for Ms. Teen....



stillakid
09-11-2007, 05:41 PM
By now, we've all heard Miss South Carolina give that incomprehensible answer. If not, listen here: http://helptheiraq.ytmnd.com (http://helptheiraq.ytmnd.com/)/


I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and I believe that our education, like such as South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should -- our education over here in the US should help the US -- or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children.

Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't kick this girl out of the hammock no matter what. She's definitely smokin' hot, so the point isn't to make fun of her (just in case I ever get a real shot at it :D ).

What I would like to hear (read) from others is how you might answer that same question. Anybody (well, almost anybody) can answer with a somewhat intelligible response, but the trick here is to see if you can be even more incomprehensible than Miss South Carolina was.

So answer as unintelligibly as possible. Use pseudo intelligent phrases like "such as" freely:

"Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the United States on a world map. Why do you think this is? "

Mister Roboto
09-11-2007, 06:05 PM
Give the girl a break. She froze under pressure.

That said, I'll play your little game.

I personally believe Americans should vote to have teachers swap salaries with those overpaid Hollywood actors, directors, cameramen, etc. That way, we will get better teachers and Hollywood will get paid for what they deserve for the crap they have been pumping out for the past several years.

stillakid
09-11-2007, 06:24 PM
Give the girl a break. She froze under pressure.

That said, I'll play your little game.

I personally believe Americans should vote to have teachers swap salaries with those overpaid Hollywood actors, directors, cameramen, etc. That way, we will get better teachers and Hollywood will get paid for what they deserve for the crap they have been pumping out for the past several years.

Hmm, that didn't answer the question. :sur:

And, because your response was a very obvious "slam," I'd ask that you provide a comprehensive list of ALL the movies that have been released in the "past several years" and highlight those that specifically are "crap." And while you're at it, please provide a full accounting of how much money Hollywood Directors, Actors, Cameramen, and Etc. earn per year, before and after taxes. I presume you know since you made such a definitive statement. :) Also, for comparisons sake, please provide a comprehensive list of all salaries of all teachers in the United States and links to the studies that prove that more pay would automatically equal better quality. Thanks! :)

El Chuxter
09-11-2007, 06:32 PM
More pay for teachers would mean that fewer qualified teachers leave the profession for more lucrative careers, and that more talented college students would see teaching as a valid profession, and therefore there would be better educated kids and fewer idiots talking about "the Iraq" on TV. I think even the worst first-year teacher deserves more in a day than Michael Bay deserves in a lifetime.

Mr. JabbaJohnL
09-11-2007, 06:58 PM
If I were up for Ms. Teen, I think I'd have more problems than how to answer that question. :eek:

2-1B
09-11-2007, 08:27 PM
I blame The Iraq for stealing our maps.

Tycho
09-12-2007, 01:40 AM
Chuxter, quit picking on Michael Bay.

I personally believe that The Michael Bay would help to educate more US Americans if he could make a movie about maps. Then people in our education like such as in Iceland and The Yemen, everywhere such as, could help get the Hollywood maps and be able to find places such as America.

What did I win?

figrin bran
09-12-2007, 02:32 AM
Michael Bay's maps of the world would look nothing like normal maps of the world and Iraq would have flames over it just because The Bay of Pigs feels like it. isobars.

General_Grievous
09-12-2007, 11:42 AM
I think even the worst first-year teacher deserves more in a day than Michael Bay deserves in a lifetime.

Quoted for truth.

stillakid
09-12-2007, 12:52 PM
If I were up for Ms. Teen, I think I'd have more problems than how to answer that question. :eek:

One "man's" problem is another man's .... well, you get the idea. :)

JON9000
09-12-2007, 03:41 PM
Systematically slaughter the children who cannot do so and not only will 100% of US teens be able to find the US on a world map, but the dumb ones will no longer be able to pollute the rest of humanity. Miss Teen USA pageant, here I come.

Tycho
09-12-2007, 05:28 PM
JON9000: Can I please help?

JediTricks
09-12-2007, 06:19 PM
Her answer would have made a lot more sense if she had been up for Ms. Teen Pregnancy.


I'll take a stab at the question... "It's my belief that all nations are equal, but the United America States are the best. Educationally, we're at the top as number twelve, but we can do more better to inprove our understandings of the world around us, and especially the countries that are in it. Parts of the problem is that it's hard to imagine America the country as it looks from space, much less America the continent, so seeing that in your mind and then looking to a map for it is probably very confusing. I would find those one-fifth who can't find the United States on the maps and give them access to real-time satellite imagery, then say 'look, that one there is your country' and then they'll know so the next time they drive to England or the UK, they can look on their map and say 'ok, now I know where I've been'. Thank you."

stillakid
09-12-2007, 06:35 PM
Her answer would have made a lot more sense if she had been up for Ms. Teen Pregnancy.


I'll take a stab at the question... "It's my belief that all nations are equal, but the United America States are the best. Educationally, we're at the top as number twelve, but we can do more better to inprove our understandings of the world around us, and especially the countries that are in it. Parts of the problem is that it's hard to imagine America the country as it looks from space, much less America the continent, so seeing that in your mind and then looking to a map for it is probably very confusing. I would find those one-fifth who can't find the United States on the maps and give them access to real-time satellite imagery, then say 'look, that one there is your country' and then they'll know so the next time they drive to England or the UK, they can look on their map and say 'ok, now I know where I've been'. Thank you."


The Judges LOVE your answer, but regret to inform you that you've used too many multi syllable words and failed to incorporate "such as" at any point. Perhaps if we could see you bat your eyes under your gorgeous long blond hair we might not have been paying as much attention to the content.

Jargo
09-12-2007, 07:28 PM
"Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the United States on a world map. Why do you think this is? "

I think, that um, thereof the kids who get school, they should get some more and map reading class, statisticalaly the american peoples are in as much but forward as the germans, but not Japaneze coz that's like different to the issue at our fingertips. so maps should have lights and bleepers. little lights to tell you where you are. how fun would that be? and it should tell you in multilangual. So because we don't have those the numbers are wrong. requiring a new vote. which will make america unite. across the globe. and be most good.

LTBasker
09-12-2007, 09:27 PM
"Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the United States on a world map. Why do you think this is? "

Purple Bananas.

They are out there. I love purple bananas, they're supposed to be yellow. But they're purple. Bananas are long and squishy, like Iraq. Iraq is not purple, it is an evil purple banana because it is not purple. If they were to dance it would be peanut butter evil time. If we had a map to purple bananas, everybody would know where they were. Africans stole the map to the purple bananas, but really it was the map to the evil purple bananas. They have goatees.

And kitties and puppies and gooses and duckies and horses should be on maps. They should be the places on the map. Everybody would remember those. Because I want to go to horse place. That's where the purple banana worships the sun for being so bright and yellow but it's blinding. The sun is blinding. But everybody is looking for the purple banana, we know where the sun is, so no one is blind. Next I want to go to cat place. If we go to cat place, we can run and frolic and prance and pounce and lick ourselves clean all day long.

And world peace.

JON9000
09-13-2007, 05:50 PM
Systematically slaughter the children who cannot do so and not only will 100% of US teens be able to find the US on a world map, but the dumb ones will no longer be able to pollute the rest of humanity. Miss Teen USA pageant, here I come.

I should add that this standard doesn't apply if you look like Miss South Carolina. Your fine genetics are actually needed for the rest of humanity, because if all women looked as fine as yourself, there would be no more wars.

Jargo
09-13-2007, 09:15 PM
on MSN maps if you try to do a route planner from the USA to the UK when it gets to the Atlantic ocean part of the journey the intructions say to swim.

Tycho
09-13-2007, 09:31 PM
on MSN maps if you try to do a route planner from the USA to the UK when it gets to the Atlantic ocean part of the journey the intructions say to swim.

Yeah, that was funny. I had a friend show me that on MySpace - perhaps it was your bulletin? I don't remember. But I laughed at that one.

El Chuxter
09-13-2007, 11:00 PM
I just tried that, and it said there was no route.

Jargo
09-19-2007, 08:00 PM
:eek: *gasp* where's it gone!? :frus:

stillakid
09-19-2007, 09:36 PM
:eek: *gasp* where's it gone!? :frus:

You can't get there from here.

JON9000
09-20-2007, 12:54 PM
Oh, BTW, Miss South Carolina has parlayed her fifteen minutes into a modelling contract in NYC through which she will likely be paid over the course of a few days what most of my fellow forumites make in a year. Suck it, knowitalls! :p

Tycho
09-20-2007, 01:37 PM
Fortunately for us JON, it's A Man's World.

Her looks will last her at most, what? 10 to maybe 20 years? (I assume she's like 17, right? Miss TEEN South Carolina).

If she models, she might get into that fastlane life and go clubbing and try cocaine, etc. - she's proven quite well that she's not too bright. I hope this will not be her story however.

Anyway, she's best off marrying "money," as alimony / child support is like a woman's pension plan from men who are too stupid or desperate to realize it (note, these can be rich or successful men in other areas of their lives - they are just conned by a temporarily good looking woman). - By the way, she's not that good-looking (See Amber Lee Etinger "Obama's-Girl" or Kristin Kruek, Smallville, Jessica Alba...anyway...you get my point.)

Now of course Miss Teen South Carolina can get educated - perhaps starting out with learning how to read maps? Maybe she can pursue an exciting follow-up career as a travel agent, or with some brain-cell stimulation, become a meteorologist and use her looks to sell herself as a weather channel reporting personality. She could also sell real estate - modeling herself in front of the pictures of new home brochures on advertisements that include MAPS! What a novel idea!

But while she can, she can use her looks to make her some bucks. Depending upon her choices, her income or the money she invests from her contemporary earnings might sustain her. Without knowing whether she will turn out even a tad bit smarter, I'd wonder if everyone here on SSG will make more money than Miss Teen South Carolina over the course of their lifetimes. As noted, it won't look that way for at least the next 10 years.

But students of Tom Leykus have a term for the earnings a woman earns on the basis of her looks. It's not a violation of the forum rules to use an anotomical name for a body part, but this may be censored. I simply mean to illustrate that income from "vagina-money" is temporary and fleeting, and not at all directly sustainable. It can of course be wisely invested - but do you honestly get the impression that Miss Teen South Carolina does wise things?

I cite a recent complaint of actress Demi Moore's that she can no longer find work - women over 40 are just not in demand for roles except in bit parts as someone's wife or mother. (This is not necessarily true, Demi. Ask Glenn Close who's made some successful late career choices.) But Glenn Close also seems to use her head, and the younger (but still old) Demi Moore has not unlearned how to only rely on her body. It's only a matter of time before Ashton Kutcher dumps her (or cheats on her), btw.

Perhaps someone should give Demi a map?

JON9000
09-21-2007, 09:56 AM
$30,000 per day. Miss South Carolina is pretty hot.

And what would Tom Leykis call it if I made money wearing suits for Armani, penis money? Haters, haters, haters. Reducing beauty to the vagina because they never got play from the pretty girls.

Beauty is a gift, just like the ability to sing, hit baseballs, arrange music, or paint pretty pictures. There are many former beauty queens who have gone on to television work. Just look at all of the newsreaders on FOX NEWS, MSNBC, CNN and so forth.

Once you do "Striptease" you are pretty much pegged as an actress for certain roles. Moore was always cast for her physicality rather than her acting. There are plenty of older women who get great parts- just ask Helen Mirren.

Tycho
09-21-2007, 11:42 AM
Moore was alright in "A Few Good Men" actually. It wasn't a complicated role, but she handled it well and it never pandered to her body.



And what would Tom Leykis call it if I made money wearing suits for Armani, penis money?

Nah. That's just money - for its intended owners - men. :D

Leykus is only telling how some women can get their hands on it.


Haters, haters, haters. Reducing beauty to the vagina because they never got play from the pretty girls.

It shouldn't be that way for any man with money (assuming some made-up concoction called "morals" doesn't get in his way). Now Tom Leykus doesn't feign to have morals, AND he has money. I'm sure he can get play from the pretty girls one way or another (probably the expensive way). He just resents not being able to get it for FREE and I'm sure a majority of the male audience he caters to doesn't have money, so they resent not getting it for free either. Remember his tag line is "Helping men get laid for little or no money." That's false advertising actually, as on a side note, it usually takes having money to get laid, but Tom illustrates how to spend the least amount of it. Embarking in marriage (or even letting a girl move in with you) is NOT the way. To be blunt, make false promises and committments like "maybe next Spring I'll be ready."


Beauty is a gift, just like the ability to sing, hit baseballs, arrange music, or paint pretty pictures. There are many former beauty queens who have gone on to television work. Just look at all of the newsreaders on FOX NEWS, MSNBC, CNN and so forth.

That's right. But now I bet FOX wishes they could unload Gretta Van Schustern and put on Jessica Alba in her place. By the time they might be able to arrange that, they may no longer want Jessica Alba and someone in Junior High School right now would be preferrable (for when she turns 18 or 22).


Once you do "Striptease" you are pretty much pegged as an actress for certain roles. Moore was always cast for her physicality rather than her acting. There are plenty of older women who get great parts- just ask Helen Mirren.

I don't know. Like I said, "A Few Good Men." I haven't seen most of Demi Moore's movies. But I agree with you while not knowing who Helen Mirren is. I pointed to Glenn Close for my example. But now we're also talking about a woman with some men's features - like a brain for one. Note: I don't mean to generalize and say most men have a brain. They do not. Most human beings don't have brains - connected correctly anyway. But a smaller proportion of females have them. That being said, sure I've argued they know how to make "vagina-money," but that comes down to instinct, not intelligence.

JON9000
09-21-2007, 11:59 AM
That's right. But now I bet FOX wishes they could unload Greta Van Susteren and put on Jessica Alba in her place. By the time they might be able to arrange that, they may no longer want Jessica Alba and someone in Junior High School right now would be preferrable (for when she turns 18 or 22).

I think Kimberly Guilfoyle on FOX is being primed for Susteren's place. Former catalogue underwear model and former San Francisco county prosecutor- insanely beautiful, decided not to marry a Getty, divorced the Mayor, makes her own money, and is extremely well-spoken and intelligent.

So there you have it, the total package. I would much rather spend an evening with her than the ten years younger Alba. But that's because I enjoy hanging out with smart women. Somehow I doubt that's the case with Mr. Leykis. Hater, hater, hater.

And ostensibly open-minded, even though she's on FOXNEWS.