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View Full Version : Biggest EU SNAFUs FUBAR



El Chuxter
01-18-2008, 01:15 PM
Since Lucasfilm's official stance is that everything that's been published happened, it creates some really insanely stupid paradoxes. Let's bring up, discuss, and laugh at some of these.

1) Boba Fett escaped from the Sarlaac twice. He got out once, with his armor intact, and was kidnapped by Jawas. He couldn't remember anything, and a run-in with Han resulted in his falling into the Sarlaac again. This time, the Sarlaac dissolved his armor and talked to him, until he blew up his jetpack and escaped.

I don't make this carp up.

2) Leia and Han were married twice, a couple of years apart. Immediately after ROTJ, Han had a bachelor pad in Cloud City, despite it being run by an Imperial Garrison.

3) Greedo's father (also named Greedo) was chased from Rodia by a feud with another clan. He grew up on Tatooine and got beat up by Anakin Skywalker as a kid. (If that's not embarassing....) He was eventually able to move back to Rodia, but the family was chased away again when his son, Greedo Jr, was young. Greedo Jr eventually wound up on Tatooine, working for Jabba the Hutt.

4) 4-LOM joined the Rebellion immediately after his brief appearance in ESB. He became a Jedi robot and foresaw the future (correctly). However, he apparently decided to ditch his ideals and went to collect the bounty on Han by stealing him from Boba. When Boba dismantled him, he was never able to use the Force again.

5) The Rebels spent the better part of a year chasing Boba Fett from place to place, hoping to catch him and rescue Han Solo. I don't even need to go into further detail. That carp is just stupid.

6) Boba apparently has amnesia a lot. He didn't even seem to recognize Han Solo in The Holiday Special, despite having run into him about twelve times before.

Yeah, don't b***h about the giant green rabbit no more, okay?

Rocketboy
01-18-2008, 01:46 PM
And the Rebels got the Death Star plans like 17 different ways.

bigbarada
01-18-2008, 02:05 PM
You forgot that Boba Fett was the best-man at Dengar's wedding. That was the nail in the EU coffin for me.

Also, for some inexplicable reason, Chewbacca and Yoda were buddies prior to the OT, even though their relationship was never followed up on in the films... oh wait, that was actually in one of the movie, but it's still incredibly stupid.

Han Solo was also raised by... get this... a Wookie! He then went on to pilot a ship with a giant cat as his copilot before ever even meeting Chewbacca. :rolleyes:

El Chuxter
01-18-2008, 02:24 PM
Dude, I totally forgot the Death Star Plans. That is the biggest damned mess ever.

Han also got in hot water with his commanding officer when he refused to kill a wounded Chewbacca in space near Kashyyyk. A few months (or years) later, he got kicked out of the military when he stood up for the very same Wookiee being beaten by the very same commander!

And don't knock the big cat. Togorians rock. You know as well as I do that a Togorian figure would be every bit as cool as a Jaxxon/Ackmena two-pack.

Droid
01-18-2008, 02:25 PM
IG-88 was the brain of the second Death Star.

BoShek was force sensitive.

Bib Fortuna and the Max Rebo Band survived the explosion of the Sail Barge.

El Chuxter
01-18-2008, 02:28 PM
Which reminds me:

The original lead singer of the Max Rebo Band was killed by the Modal Nodes, when the Bith band tried to kill the entire Rebo Band. However, in the SE, one of the new members of the band was Barquin D'an, the brother of Figrin D'an, leader of the Modal Nodes.

Try to figure that one out.

bigbarada
01-18-2008, 02:30 PM
And don't knock the big cat. Togorians rock. You know as well as I do that a Togorian figure would be every bit as cool as a Jaxxon/Ackmena two-pack.

I actually liked the big cat, but I just thought it was lame to give Han Solo a history of hairy co-pilots.

Dare we even get into the "clone Emperor" storyline?

El Chuxter
01-18-2008, 02:33 PM
Only if we can get into Luke Skywalker falling in love with a Jedi Knight whose mind has been trapped in a computer.

Which brings up the issue of how many Jedi were secretly married during the prequel era because Lucas didn't come up with the pesky detail of the Jedi marriage ban until after TPM.

Or how all references to Ki-Adi being the only Knight on the Council were changed after ROTS to say that he always referred to himself as a Knight and not a Master out of modesty. :rolleyes:

And don't get me started on issues of lightsaber colors.

CaptainSolo1138
01-18-2008, 02:48 PM
Zuckass got a lung transplant from the Rebels.



I notice that a bunch of us are bringing stuff up from the "Tales of..." books. Does that speak more for their wide readership or their ridiculousness?

bigbarada
01-18-2008, 02:54 PM
Zuckass got a lung transplant from the Rebels.



I notice that a bunch of us are bringing stuff up from the "Tales of..." books. Does that speak more for their wide readership or their ridiculousness?

I think they were more easily accessible for new EU readers, since they focused on background movie characters. So, as long as you had seen the movies, then you had all the backstory that you needed to read these books.

For the main EU continuity, unless you started reading the books in 1991, then there's really no hope for catching up. For me, Jaina and Jacen Solo, Cade Skywalker, Grand Admiral Thrawn, A'sharrad Hett, those names mean very little to me and I'm not interested in reading 20 poorly written books just to get their stories.

El Chuxter
01-18-2008, 02:56 PM
Both.

The Tales of the Mos Eisley Cantina wasn't too bad. But Tales from Jabba's Palace was not only weak overall, but it actually contradicted the previous Tales book! Then came Tales of the Bounty Hunters, which had some of the best (in spite of everything else, the Zuckuss/4-LOM story was cool, taken out of context) and worst (isn't that where we "learned" Boba Fett was Jaster Mareel, in contradiction with several earlier stories?).

BigB, there are a few really good books out there. I'd recommend reading (in this order) Cloak of Deception, The Phantom Menace, Rogue Planet, The Approaching Storm, Attack of the Clones, Shatterpoint, The Medstar Duology, Yoda: Dark Rendezvous, Labyrinth of Evil, Revenge of the Sith, and Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader. That sounds like a lot, but (aside from Rogue Planet), they're all quite excellent, and show what the PT could've been. And it could've been grand.

Neuroleptic
01-18-2008, 02:57 PM
HAHAHAHA! I have sooooo many of these things running through my head right now that I litteraly can't start typeing one out before I start thinking up another one!

. . . If everything that has been published happened . . .

That leaves one wondering. Who shot first? Greedo or Han? There are two different versions of that . . . so if they are both offical. . .

That hurts my head.

Oh wait, dose that include things like action figures? Because in the books, (tails from Mos esely cantina) one of the storm troopers is officaly a regular human and not a clone . . .

What about the droids cartoon series? R2 and 3po kept themselves mighty busy between episodes 3 and 4, especialy if you consider the comics with that. Yet they still wound up back on the same ship?

CaptainSolo1138
01-18-2008, 02:59 PM
Oh wait, dose that include things like action figures? Because in the books, (tails from Mos esely cantina) one of the storm troopers is officaly a regular human and not a clone . . . Good call. Trooper 1138- Davin Felth. And don't anyone try to argue that he was some sort of clone that happened to have an individual life on some random planet as an experiment or some crap, because he proceeded to shoot his commander in the back, which I'm guessing a "programmed" clone wouldn't do without being ordered to.

El Chuxter
01-18-2008, 03:10 PM
Well, that's sorta been cleared up since the official word is that some are clones (and not all of Jango) and some are conscripts. Felth's captain was confirmed to be a clone.

However, another crazy problem with this story: Felth was test-driving the new AT-AT prototypes and discovered the weakness with their legs, and was sent to Tatooine to cover it up. However, as seen in Republic, the AT-ATs had been in wide use for over twenty years at that point!

I think the official word on Artoo and Threepio is that they got sold due to a clerical error, and Bail spared no expense to track them down. :rolleyes: Not sure why Boba Fett never recognized them at any point therein.

Speaking of Droids comics, IG-88 appears in the Dark Horse series years before he was built, according to Tales of the Bounty Hunters. However, other IG droids were seen in Clone Wars... except there were only five IG droids, built at the same time, over a decade later, and four of those shared a mind!

Olag Greck also speaks (in the same series) with a cloaked human who clearly works for Palpatine, who is Emperor at this point. The character was obviously meant to be Vader. Only, uh, Anakin was only known by that name and still recognizably human for a very short time, and both droids are well accounted for during those days.

And let's not forget C-3PX, one of the coolest EU characters not made by Hasbro (and how obvious a comic 2-pack idea is he?), who a later author decided was built by Darth Maul in order to parallel the crappy "Anakin built C-3PO" subplot of TPM.

Oh, and there are three versions of Han vs Greedo. In one, Han shoots first. In another, Greedo shoots first and his blast comes out at a weird 45 degree angle. In the third, they shoot simultaneously, and Han apparently can teleport.

bigbarada
01-18-2008, 03:18 PM
BigB, there are a few really good books out there. I'd recommend reading (in this order) Cloak of Deception, The Phantom Menace, Rogue Planet, The Approaching Storm, Attack of the Clones, Shatterpoint, The Medstar Duology, Yoda: Dark Rendezvous, Labyrinth of Evil, Revenge of the Sith, and Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader. That sounds like a lot, but (aside from Rogue Planet), they're all quite excellent, and show what the PT could've been. And it could've been grand.

I read The Phantom Menace before seeing Ep1 and liked it a lot. Which is probably why I was so forgiving of a lot of the flaws in the film.

I also read Rogue Planet and I remember liking it too. There were also those Young Jedi Chronicles that told the story of Padawan Obi-Wan and I remember really enjoying those (even though they were geared towards kids).

I've also read all three "Tales of..." book, along with both Han Solo Trilogies. I like the Brian Daley books from the 70s the best, since they're not burdened down with so much backstory and they don't fail into the modern-EU traps of trying to attach an origin story to every single background character and drawing ties between characters that really should have nothing to do with each other.

I also read Splinter of the Mind's Eye, which brings up several continuity issues, since (if this really happened) then Vader died before ESB even started and Leia had her face disfigured at the end of the book.

El Chuxter
01-18-2008, 03:40 PM
No, the Mimban Crystal healed her, remember? :)

However, Vader vs Luke between ANH and ESB is ridiculously convoluted.

My favorite, which this reminds me even though it's not directly connected, would be the baddies during the Clone Wars:

1) Durge (the easiest to deal with): First fights Obi-Wan on Muunilinst, where he's thought to be dead. Then fights both Anakin and Obi-Wan on a moon on Naboo, where he's extremely talkative and tells Obi-Wan that a saber through the head "tickles." (I wish I made that up.) At some point, he and Asajj are both beaten by Grievous in his final test, though he'd supposedly been working for the Confederacy as early as Geonosis by some sources. Finally, he's killed by being thrown into a star by Anakin.

2) Asajj. Hoo boy. She fights on Rattatak and gains the attention of Dooku. She goes back in time to deal with Mace when courting possible Jedi traitors. Then she comes back to the present and fights Anakin in orbit around Muunlinst and on Yavin IV, where she's believed dead after a great Crouching Tiger impression. She shows up on the moon on Naboo as well, and no one bats an eyelash that both these "dead" Confederates show back up. Again, she and Durge are beaten by Grievous, in his test many months after he'd already proven himself as a Jedi killer. She runs into Anakin and/or Obi-Wan on a new planet every week for the next couple of years. Finally, on Coruscant, she learns Anakin is married, confronts him with this, gives him his scar, and is knocked off a building when he goes dark side on her a second time. Only her body, clinging to life, is recovered somehow and taken to a distant planet. She recovers to fight (guess who!) Anakin and Obi-Wan, but finally realizes the error of her ways when, dying, she's abandoned by Dooku and warns Obi-Wan that Coruscant will be invaded. (Guess he forgot to pass that on.) Her body is sent to Coruscant by the Jedi for a funeral, since she died redeemed, only, uh, she's not dead, and commandeers the ship to take her as far from the war as possible. She shows up one more time, fighting alongside the Confederates again, before vanishing for good. (Whew.)

3) Dooku. Aside from him running into Anakin a few dozen times, the kicker is this: in the GameBoy game New Droid Army, Anakin kills Dooku. To fit the game into continuity, Lucasfilm stated that this had been a clone of Dooku that Anakin killed, despite absolutely no other reference existing about such a clone.

4) Anakin. Try to reconcile how and when he became a Knight, how he got his scar, when the twins were conceived, and exactly where he was right before the invasion of Coruscant. It will make less sense than any Crisis-related story from DC.

Bel-Cam Jos
01-18-2008, 06:23 PM
There have been two instances of "that bounty hunter on Ord Mantell" comment, one was Dengar (who knew Han and that's how he got his head wrap fashion, due to a swoop accident) and the other was Skorr (Marvel Comics series). Maybe even a third, with the Rebel Mission to Ord Mantell LP and storybook.

The whole "the Force can't affect machinery" thing has gone out the viewport.

Jedi healing trances and the fact that just about any Jedi can heal something or someone else is convoluted, too.

The fact that the Teras Kai [sp?] video game is a part of canon is foolish. Put it in the Infinities line if you want. BTW, rock wampas? Banthas on every planet?

Chux, I like the idea of a Crisis on Expanded Universe, or a Secret Star Wars series. Captain Needa could wish for a new life, Walrus Man could get a new, all-black costume (that becomes an alien), formerly paralyzed Cliegg Lars could walk again (and gain telepathic powers), Doctor Evazan could challenge a World Devastator, or a Super Battle Droid could tearfully hold a female Battle Droid in its arms after its death. Oh yeah!

Mr. JabbaJohnL
01-18-2008, 06:24 PM
I generally don't pay any attention to or care about a lot of EU, but I do dig most of the Clone Wars stuff, and some of the continuity stuff bothers me. I wish that the different creators of the various aspects had worked closer together to figure it all out.

Isn't there supposed to be one all-encompassing continuity thing written/maintained by Leland Y Chee?