Language and Usage Thread: inspired by CaptainDreamboat1138

[2-1B]

This is not a thread to complain about people's spelling or grammar errors on the web, just a thread to discuss things that confuse or amuse you about the English language.

Discuss. :thumbsup:

[DarthQuack]

Ph being made to sound like F.....phone should sound like pa-hone.

[Dar' Argol]

[color=blue]Weird is the weirdest word because it does not follow the "I before E" rule. Also the double usage of words . . i.e. read

I read the book.
Will you read the book?

Its no wonder that the English language is the second hardest in the world . . I think that's right .. . . /color]

[Kidhuman]

knife - ka-nife

[jedi master sal]

phonetic...shouldn't it be fonetic?

[darthvyn]

the internet looks like its on its way to forsing the issue of fonetic speling thru kwik tipe and leet speek. eventualy words will start to look diffrent based on how thay are sed insted of how thay used to be speled.

i hav bin developing a noo alfabet that wud konsolodate sum of the more ekstraneus leters into noo kombined leters (much like the klassik "AE" ligature) that wuld take the plais of strange fontetic sownds, and also kould simply get rid of unnesesary leters. take the "c" for instanse. totaly unnesesary.

[CaptainSolo1138]

the internet looks like its on its way to forsing the issue of fonetic speling thru kwik tipe and leet speek. eventualy words will start to look diffrent based on how thay are sed insted of how thay used to be speled.

i hav bin developing a noo alfabet that wud konsolodate sum of the more ekstraneus leters into noo kombined leters (much like the klassik "AE" ligature) that wuld take the plais of strange fontetic sownds, and also kould simply get rid of unnesesary leters. take the "c" for instanse. totaly unnesesary.
Awsum!

For those that didn't see the genesis (pun intended after I realized what I did) of this thread: If Jesus owns something, is it Jesus' or Jesus's?

As a side note, spell check corrects Jesus's, even though I like the way it looks better than the alternative.

[darthvyn]

the letter "c" is a vestigial organ of the alphabet. sometimes it sounds like an "s" and sometimes it sounds like a "k". the only time it almost has an identity of its own is when it's followed by an "h" creating the "ch" sound.

obviously, we simply need to create a "ch" ligature and we can get rid of the "c". konversely, we kould simply start using the "k" there instead. kharlie, khildren, khek, khoose. if you stand bak from it a bit, putting a "k" there isn't any more weird than having a "c" there.

[jedi master sal]

I'd like to see NEW letters made. Instead of "ch", combine the two to make a new letter. In this case just attach the "c" to the left of the "h." We could then get rid of the "c" and the places where is sounds like an "s," USE an "s." In places where it sounds like a "k," USE a "k."

This also goes for using "gh" as in rough or tough. Use a "f" instead. rof or tof. Of if need be TWO f's. GH doesn't look like it should sound like an "f" sound.

Conversely can anyone tell me what "ghoti" actually is? (There is an answer and I know it.)

Given how we pronounce things here in the US, ghoti could be an acceptable way to spell the real word it represents.

[LusiferSam]

Being dyslexic nearly everything about English as a written language is confusing to me. Clearly we don't have enough letters if some are doing double duty. My main pet peeve right now is silent first letters. What drunkard merry old England thought words like knight, knot, knob, pneumatics, pneumonia, and (I think of any that start ts off hand) was a good idea. It's stupid beyond belief.

Another thing that confounds me is words that sound the same but are spelled different. Wood and would, marry and merry, not and knot, eye, aye and I. How did this arise? It's clear when speaking to someone each to you mean. Wouldn't also be clear when reading it?

[darthvyn]

I'd like to see NEW letters made. Instead of "ch", combine the two to make a new letter. In this case just attach the "c" to the left of the "h." We could then get rid of the "c" and the places where is sounds like an "s," USE an "s." In places where it sounds like a "k," USE a "k."

dude, i just said ALL of that. am i on your "ignore" list for some reason? not that you could/would answer if i am...

maybe you didn't understand what i meant by "ligature"? that's when two letters are melded together to form a new sound, like the "ae" ligature in "aether" and things like that. most words that used that ligature are now condensed to using only one letter, usually the second, as in "ether".


Conversely can anyone tell me what "ghoti" actually is? (There is an answer and I know it.)

are you making a backwards-phonetic version of "forty" as in "fowty" as in a 40 oz. libation?

[jedi master sal]

dude, i just said ALL of that. am i on your "ignore" list for some reason? not that you could/would answer if i am...

maybe you didn't understand what i meant by "ligature"? that's when two letters are melded together to form a new sound, like the "ae" ligature in "aether" and things like that. most words that used that ligature are now condensed to using only one letter, usually the second, as in "ether".



are you making a backwards-phonetic version of "forty" as in "fowty" as in a 40 oz. libation?

Heh, no, I wasn't ignoring you. I know what a ligature is. I'm in Advertising and marketing...lol No worries.

And no the word isn't Forty, but I can see where you could get that.

[Jargo]

it amuses me that the arrogance of you amaricans to just swan in after thousands of years of developing the language you just hack it to pieces and abreviate it beyond recognition. you're language murderers. and lazy.

[El Chuxter]

Don't worry. I'll ignore you both.

[El Chuxter]

Double-post!!

I must refer you to one of the great George Carlin's best quotes, regarding Americans' proclivity to "allow" common mistakes to be considered correct due to "common usage":

"F*** common usage!"

[darthvyn]

it amuses me that the arrogance of you amaricans to just swan in after thousands of years of developing the language you just hack it to pieces and abreviate it beyond recognition. you're language murderers. and lazy.

ur just jellus that thu king ov inglend kant kik us arownd. go bak to ur king, king boi!

and it's "amurica" btw. i couldn't stop saying "it'sth'muracleofamurica" after the state of the union address.

[jedi master sal]

it amuses me that the arrogance of you amaricans to just swan in after thousands of years of developing the language you just hack it to pieces and abreviate it beyond recognition. you're language murderers. and lazy.

Ah yeah! I'm gonna kill me some consanants and vowels. I never much liked g, k, q, u, v, and x anyway. Heh, reminds me of alphabits cereal...would that make me a cereal killer too, heh heh.

[Jargo]

being honest English is mostly french and german words mangled and mispelled and mispronounced. I'm not really bothered by american english it's just the bizarre street language of blacks and white boys who think they're black with misappropriated words and misunderstood words used completely out of context i can't stand. it's not even recognisable as english it's just retard speak. what the hell kind of language takes an evolutionary step backwards until it's a mess of grunts and ignorance.

[darthvyn]

it's not even recognisable as english

pssh... recogniZable ;)


what the hell kind of language takes an evolutionary step backwards until it's a mess of grunts and ignorance.

every single one. except for esparanto.

[2-1B]

"they're not all", not "there not all"

But like I said, this thread isn't meant to ridicule bad usage on the web. :thumbsup:

[CaptainSolo1138]

"they're not all", not "there not all"

But like I said, this thread isn't meant to ridicule bad usage on the web. :thumbsup:
Ah, crap! You got me good o yes

The confusion of "they're", "there" and "their" is my biggest pet peeve. I'm glad you called me on my HONEST MISTAKE so I could correct it.

[2-1B]

It's alright, just glad to be back on topic :thumbsup: since it's not the point of this thread.

The phonics thing is a great observation, why isn't that word spelled phonetically ? :confused:

[JON9000]

VulcanTouch, wherever you are, they know not what they spake!


I'm not really bothered by american english it's just the bizarre street language of blacks and white boys who think they're black with misappropriated words and misunderstood words used completely out of context i can't stand. it's not even recognisable as english it's just retard speak. what the hell kind of language takes an evolutionary step backwards until it's a mess of grunts and ignorance.

Thank you very much, Enry Iggins, could you please tell that modern Eliza Doolittle, Ms. Winehouse, to correct her speech and stay away from the crack pipe? :lipsrsealed:

[Jedi_Kal-El]

VulcanTouch, wherever you are, they know not what they spake!



Thank you very much, Enry Iggins, could you please tell that modern Eliza Doolittle, Ms. Winehouse, to correct her speech and stay away from the crack pipe? :lipsrsealed:

Say it aint so. Ms. Winehouse smokes crack? I said NO, NO, NO :D

[General_Grievous]

being honest English is mostly french and german words mangled and mispelled and mispronounced. I'm not really bothered by american english it's just the bizarre street language of blacks and white boys who think they're black with misappropriated words and misunderstood words used completely out of context i can't stand. it's not even recognisable as english it's just retard speak. what the hell kind of language takes an evolutionary step backwards until it's a mess of grunts and ignorance.


Thank you very much, Enry Iggins, could you please tell that modern Eliza Doolittle, Ms. Winehouse, to correct her speech and stay away from the crack pipe? :lipsrsealed:

Buuurn, he got u good, Daddypants.

[El Chuxter]

It's alright....

Don't you mean "all right"?

I don't normally quabble about that one, but since this is a thread about mistakes.... lol

[Deoxyribonucleic]

Amusing that people tried to get ebonics taught in school as a 'dialect' of the English language Shameful :rolleyes:

[2-1B]

No quabble Chux, it's a very good point you make:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/alright

[Tycho]

Amusing that people tried to get ebonics taught in school as a 'dialect' of the English language Shameful :rolleyes:

Oh, I definitely agree. I have special guests in Bill Cosby and Don Imus here to agree with me, but so many people might be also ignoring me that they'll miss this. :D

[Jargo]

we're desperately trying to disown Amy Winohouse. she's not even human. Oh and Kate Nash and Lilly Allen too. Damn bimbo's. Amy's beehive wig is what she hides her crack pipe in. And that's a true fact.

Lyk, Amy tokaly suks innit. An lyk eye wernt dissin blakz rite. eye wz dissin da lingo.

[CaptainSolo1138]

Lilly Allen is hot. And she loves her boobs.

[JON9000]

we're desperately trying to disown Amy Winohouse. she's not even human. Oh and Kate Nash and Lilly Allen too. Damn bimbo's. Amy's beehive wig is what she hides her crack pipe in. And that's a true fact.

Lyk, Amy tokaly suks innit. An lyk eye wernt dissin blakz rite. eye wz dissin da lingo.

Trade ya Britney for Amy. Oh, that's right, we owe you one for relieving us of Madonna!

[Deoxyribonucleic]

Oh, that's right, we owe you one for relieving us of Madonna!

Rejoice, REJOICE! That skank is road hard and hung out wet and I'm glad to not have to hear about her anymore.

[JON9000]

Rejoice, REJOICE! That skank is road hard and hung out wet and I'm glad to not have to hear about her anymore.

I even heard she dropped the speech patterns indicative of petty colonials like us and has adopted the Queen's manner of speaking! Greatest reformation since the 1400's, so I'm told.

[Jedi_Kal-El]

Rejoice, REJOICE! That skank is road hard and hung out wet and I'm glad to not have to hear about her anymore.


I even heard she dropped the speech patterns indicative of petty colonials like us and has adopted the Queen's manner of speaking! Greatest reformation since the 1400's, so I'm told.

Sad thing about that is when one fades into obscurity, another is waiting in the wings to take their place. Usually worse than the first.

[Mad Slanted Powers]

Awsum!

For those that didn't see the genesis (pun intended after I realized what I did) of this thread: If Jesus owns something, is it Jesus' or Jesus's?

As a side note, spell check corrects Jesus's, even though I like the way it looks better than the alternative.This has always bothered me too. Do you pronounce Jesus' as it is spelled? It doesn't sound like a possessive if you don't add the extra syllable. Someone could point and say, "Is that Jesus'?", (two syllables), and someone could respond, "No, that's not Jesus."


I'd like to see NEW letters made. Instead of "ch", combine the two to make a new letter. In this case just attach the "c" to the left of the "h." We could then get rid of the "c" and the places where is sounds like an "s," USE an "s." In places where it sounds like a "k," USE a "k."When I took Spanish, we sang an alphabet song that had some extra "letters": ch, ll, ñ and rr.

I liked the Steve Martin routine where he was talking about how easy it is for American's to learn Spanish compared to French. Spanish you can sound out. When he did the example for French, it was like he was choking.



Conversely can anyone tell me what "ghoti" actually is? (There is an answer and I know it.)

Given how we pronounce things here in the US, ghoti could be an acceptable way to spell the real word it represents.

Rough
women
function

gh + o + ti = fish!


the internet looks like its on its way to forsing the issue of fonetic speling thru kwik tipe and leet speek. eventualy words will start to look diffrent based on how thay are sed insted of how thay used to be speled.

i hav bin developing a noo alfabet that wud konsolodate sum of the more ekstraneus leters into noo kombined leters (much like the klassik "AE" ligature) that wuld take the plais of strange fontetic sownds, and also kould simply get rid of unnesesary leters. take the "c" for instanse. totaly unnesesary.I was thinking about something like this recently, trying to come up with consistent spelling for various vowel sounds. The problem is English as so many different vowel sounds. Spanish was pretty simple. A = ah, E = ay, I = ee, O = oh, U = oo. There was even a rhyme: a e i o u, y burro sabe más que tú. There are no schwa sounds and there is no a as in Pat. Sometimes it was fun to pronounce it that way for fun though, such as calling a taco a tacko.


The phonics thing is a great observation, why isn't that word spelled phonetically ? :confused:It is spelled phonetically if you realize that ph is a digraph derived from the Greek letter 'phi', which represented something that sounded like our f. As Mr. DP said, English is comprised of words derived from other languages. It is the America of languages, a giant melting pot.

We should just use the Greek alphabet.

[Deoxyribonucleic]

Sad thing about that is when one fades into obscurity, another is waiting in the wings to take their place. Usually worse than the first.

For me, I'd rather hear about Britney on an hourly basis than have to even have the notion of that road hard hung out wet b**** in my head! Makes me angry just typing this:upset: I really, REALLY can't stand her and would love to give her yet another space between her teeth! KAPOW! MINT! SMASH!

I will just stop now though cuz I'm WAY off topic...oh, my anger is not directed at you Kal, just had to speak my peace ;)

[TeeEye7]

KAPOW! MINT! SMASH!

Holy catfight, Batman! ;)

[Jargo]

well we've just given you guys David and Victoria Beckham. enjoy them. They're... special.

[jedi master sal]

Rough
women
function

gh + o + ti = fish!



VERY good. Now did you look that up or figure it out? lol

I got this from years ago when I was a Phishhead (fan of the band Phish).

There where shirts made up with "ghoti" on it and people in the know got it and the non-phish people didn't It was a good way to tell who was really into the band and those who were wannabes.

[El Chuxter]

Victoria Beckham used to be kinda special, ten years or so ago. Now she's nasty.

[Jargo]

any women whose slimming tips are to eat nothing but tissue paper and drink nothing but water need ridiculing. I'm finding the tales of the beckhams meeting TomKat quite amusing. oops, off topic really. fudge it.

something else that amuses me is how mobile phones are the root cause of the breakdown of the english language. a device for communication yet it's crippling the language. half the text messages I recieve are just gibberish. whole words reduced to two letters. predictive text foul ups. malformed sentences. zero punctuation.

I'm no expert. I have very meagre qualifications from my time in education, but I think I manage better than most of the people I encounter with high falutin' bits of gilded paper from universities.

apparently spelling and comprehension don't count anymore. if you can manage to scrawl your name on an exam paper you're going to get a pass. I'll wager that if I sat the current exams I could get passes with distinction. even a blind cat with no paws could pass.

[Mad Slanted Powers]

VERY good. Now did you look that up or figure it out? lol

I got this from years ago when I was a Phishhead (fan of the band Phish).

There where shirts made up with "ghoti" on it and people in the know got it and the non-phish people didn't It was a good way to tell who was really into the band and those who were wannabes.Didn't look it up. It was something someone in high school pointed out. Of course, that spelling doesn't work because I'm not aware of gh making an f sound in an initial position, and ti makes the sh sound as part of tion.

I agree about text messaging messing things up. I can see all these abbreviation being necessary on such a device because of the difficulty in entering, and perhaps the cost of texting. It is when they bring all of that into other realms that it gets annoying. I used to go into AOL chatrooms, and I usually tried to type the correct words and full sentences. Sometimes I would have fun with the misspellings. People would type 'wat' instead of 'what', so I would say, "A wat is a Buddhist temple."

[Jedi_Kal-El]

Victoria Beckham used to be kinda special, ten years or so ago. Now she's nasty.


Victoria Beckham actually looked good ten years ago. Now, not so much.

[Jargo]

Victoria Beckham has Calista Flockhart disease real bad.

[Bel-Cam Jos]

You let an English teacher post in here? That ain't no good at all. Alot of ungood things can not do with that. That said...

I have always struggled with the lack of a singular gender-neutral pronoun. Technically, you can't say "A boy or girl can do what they want" without being grammatically incorrect. It'd have to be "A boy or girl can do what he or she wants," which is wordy and convoluted. I want such a word to exist, such as "heesh," "shhee," or "vellmackt."

In foreign languages, there are cross language homophones (words that sound the same but are spelled differently), too. When I want to show my students that, I ask them what "dog" is in Spanish, and they say "perro." Then I ask what is "but," and they say "pero." So if someone kicks their pero, does it mean what we think it sounds like? ;) Or to say "I uno the trophy?"

Eye all sew lie kaw thyme two here uh were'd ore sent ants wear thus ounce our knot thus aim.

[JediTricks]

Rejoice, REJOICE! That skank is road hard and hung out wet and I'm glad to not have to hear about her anymore.Uh, it's "rode hard", it's a horseriding reference. And she's the horseflop.



well we've just given you guys David and Victoria Beckham. enjoy them. They're... special.Well, since he's into soccer and she's into looking like an anorexic, over-tightened b*tch all the time, we've pretty much ignored them completely.

[Deoxyribonucleic]

Uh, it's "rode hard", it's a horseriding reference. And she's the horseflop.




Actually, not the way me and my aunt mean it...it's an inside joke between me and Aunty Marie ;)

[Slicker]

Well, since he's into soccer and she's into looking like an anorexic, over-tightened b*tch all the time, we've pretty much ignored them completely.
Don't mind him, MDP. He really meant to say football.:p

[jedi master sal]

Victoria Beckham has Calista Flockhart disease real bad.

I'd still do her...lol

[Deoxyribonucleic]

I'd still do her...lol

You're gross!







j/k ;)

[JediTricks]

Don't mind him, MDP. He really meant to say football.:pMan, you have been deployed too long!

At best, I might have meant "futbol", but really I doubt that I would.

[Jedi_Kal-El]

I'd still do her...lol

I would have done her 10 years ago. :D

[Jargo]

my 52 year old partner wears David Beckham brand aftershave. I'm so ashamed of him. Like that douche needs any more money. and the spice girls have split again after lesbianoid Mel C decided she'd had enough. Keep an eye out for Victoria lending her name to a range of tasteless items in lieu of raking it in miming onstage to dreary pap muzic.

[BanthaPoodoo]

why is that the military word is "colonel"??? Thats not right!!! thats more like co-lone-ull!

colonel should be spelled kurnal or something....

[Jargo]

kernel as in seed cases.

[jedi master sal]

You're gross!
j/k ;)

She's still attractive even if a bit thin and has nice boobs. I wouldn't be ashamed. :lipsrsealed:

[El Chuxter]

As with all the Spice Girls, ten years ago was a more magical time.

Now, they're all just sort of gross. And that includes Mel C, too. She may still be the hottest of the bunch, but that's like saying Barbara Boxer is the hottest elderly female Senator.

[Jargo]

just for the record. if you hear Mel C speak. I sound nothing like that even though i'm from the same neck o' the woods. Mel C is common as muck.

[Jedi_Kal-El]

just for the record. if you hear Mel C speak. I sound nothing like that even though i'm from the same neck o' the woods. Mel C is common as muck.

Weren't they all pretty common before someone decided they'd make a good pop quint?

[Jargo]

mmmm but at least the others embrace their femininity and don't walk like a docker.

[Jedi_Kal-El]

mmmm but at least the others embrace their femininity and don't walk like a docker.

Good point there. It's been so long since I've seen one of their videos or seen any of them, but Mel B and Ms Beckham in the spotlight.

[Bel-Cam Jos]

As an English teacher, I am shocked I hadn't found nor posted in this thread before. It's amazing what a SSG search for "grammar" will turn up. :D My students will sometimes ask me about the incongruities and irregularities of the language, and there are times like this (momma said, momma said) that I cannot give them an answer that makes sense.

While reading aloud (or "allowed" as most of them would of spelled it :rolleyes: ), a student read about the character's in-vall-id brother who was sick. How do you tell them the context of "not legitimate" versus "ill or injured" when they seldom (another word I have to define far too many times :( ) use either (ee-ther?) word?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Ralph (not related to Ralph "Please Call Me Raif" Fiennes) Wiggum once said: "Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

They'd think an unsung hero is one without a cartoon theme song.
An unswung hero is anyone aside from Spiderman.
An unslung hero is one who doesn't carry a gun.
An unstung hero is onewho's never fought the Yellowjacket or Shocker.
An unspun hero is one, again, who doesn't use webs or turn around to change from secret idenity to superhero.
An unsmug hero doesn't use sarcasm or witty banter while fighting criminals.
An unsprung hero never jumps out of nowhere to surprise the enemy.
An unslug hero hasn't had a bullet removed from their shoulder before.

Unbelievable.
But you gotta love 'em! :pleased: