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View Full Version : Peeing and blowing your nose at the same time.



Deoxyribonucleic
01-30-2008, 04:12 AM
It makes one hell of a mess on my bumcheeks :sleeping: Usually a pee constitutes one wipe and one wipe only, but i had to wipe two times. Once to wipe the normal wipe and again to wipe my now wet bumcheeks.

You guys should try it...sit down on the toilet for once and pee and blow your nose, see what happens, post it here.

Kidhuman
01-30-2008, 04:14 AM
If its anything like sneezing/coughing and farting at the same time, I dont want to do it.

jedi master sal
01-30-2008, 08:52 AM
sneezing and farting on the toilet usually ends up in sharting...

JON9000
01-30-2008, 10:42 AM
It makes one hell of a mess on my bumcheeks :sleeping: Usually a pee constitutes one wipe and one wipe only, but i had to wipe two times. Once to wipe the normal wipe and again to wipe my now wet bumcheeks.

You guys should try it...sit down on the toilet for once and pee and blow your nose, see what happens, post it here.

Oh, try standing and doing it. Your stream stops for a split second, and ensuing rush is difficult to aim properly.

CaptainSolo1138
01-30-2008, 11:55 AM
I can't wait to see what tags end up on this thread.

mabudonicus
01-30-2008, 01:45 PM
my my MY my my... DAMN

Nothing to say here that wouldn't get me banned. but I do enjoy sneezing :D
:beard: Iso & Baws
Wonder when JT signs on and nixes this thread :)

JEDIpartner
01-30-2008, 02:10 PM
Try sneezing and throwing up at the same time...

Bleaaaahhhhh-CHOO!!!!

Battle Droid
01-30-2008, 02:40 PM
You guys should try it...sit down on the toilet for once and pee and blow your nose, see what happens, post it here.

Only if you stand up and try to pee. lol

Deoxyribonucleic
01-30-2008, 04:06 PM
Only if you stand up and try to pee. lol

Good one! I have actually done that before when I was younger. My friend had a sleepover/birthday party and we stood on this loading platform (they lived on an orchard so they had all kinds of orchard 'stuff') and peed standing up to see who could pee the farthest. Needless to say, it was very difficult :yes:

Jargo
01-30-2008, 06:42 PM
my mother always crosses her legs when she sneezes in case she pees. which made me think it was a thing peculiar to women. can't say i've ever felt anything when I've sneezed and peed other than my aim slipping. god damn carpets in bathrooms. who the hell thought that was a good idea?

2-1B
01-30-2008, 06:44 PM
'Ox, did you win that orchard contest? Always gotta give your best. And I hope you were going on the trees. :thumbsup:


I can't wait to see what tags end up on this thread.

No worries, I tagged it appropriately. :thumbsup:

LusiferSam
01-30-2008, 10:45 PM
Good one! I have actually done that before when I was younger. My friend had a sleepover/birthday party and we stood on this loading platform (they lived on an orchard so they had all kinds of orchard 'stuff') and peed standing up to see who could pee the farthest. Needless to say, it was very difficult :yes:

I'd tell my storys about two of my female friends from high school peeing while standing up, but I think it's too crude even for this thread.

As for blowing ones nose while peeing, I think your problem is gender specific. I've done this before, but sitting and standing, (always when sick) and haven't had any this happen.

CaptainSolo1138
01-30-2008, 11:10 PM
My friend had a sleepover/birthday party and we stood on this loading platform (they lived on an orchard so they had all kinds of orchard 'stuff') and peed standing up to see who could pee the farthest.
Groupofgirls, 1loadingplatform

Deoxyribonucleic
01-30-2008, 11:13 PM
Groupofgirls, 1loadingplatform

Great mental picture huh? :whip:

CaptainSolo1138
01-30-2008, 11:14 PM
No way. Chris Hansen has the ability to read minds now, so we all must be careful.

jjreason
01-30-2008, 11:14 PM
Truth be told, I'll have a "sit down pee" from time to time - usually if I wake up during the night. Can't say as I ever recall peeing on my bum cheeks - but I did have a wee squirt slip through the space between the seat and the bowl one time. Not sure if that was from sneezing or blowing my nose though.

CaptainSolo1138
01-30-2008, 11:15 PM
but I did have a wee squirt slip through the space between the seat and the bowl one time.
I don't know if I'm laughing because you had the balls to say it or if its because its happened to me, too.

Tycho
01-30-2008, 11:40 PM
Hey, who gave you guys permission to post "Tycho topics?"

I thought I hold the licensing rights for any stupid posts around here.

TeeEye7
01-31-2008, 12:08 AM
I'm curious at to the sound of this activity.
I imagine it would sound like some strange waterfowl in a cataract. :Ponder:

Deoxyribonucleic
01-31-2008, 12:23 AM
I'm curious at to the sound of this activity.
I imagine it would sound like some strange waterfowl in a cataract. :Ponder:

just lots of 'tinkling' noises, randomized lol

2-1B
01-31-2008, 12:28 AM
Truth be told, I'll have a "sit down pee" from time to time - usually if I wake up during the night. Can't say as I ever recall peeing on my bum cheeks - but I did have a wee squirt slip through the space between the seat and the bowl one time. Not sure if that was from sneezing or blowing my nose though.


I don't know if I'm laughing because you had the balls to say it or if its because its happened to me, too.

I've had it happen too, but I just thought it was because I am really small and wasn't hanging safely low enough into the bowl.

El Chuxter
01-31-2008, 12:33 AM
Out of curiosity, since this is already way past the deep end anyway, do the other guys here stand up to pee and then sit down to poop if they have to do both?

Personally, I just sit down and take care of both at once. I've heard of people who are so convinced that peeing while seated makes them "deviant" that they'll actually put the lid up, pee standing up, then put the lid down and sit to poop. Never mind that you're guaranteed to splash pee on your buttcheeks in that situation.

2-1B
01-31-2008, 12:46 AM
Chux, I've never heard of people who were convinced of that, wow that's messed up !

Deoxyribonucleic
01-31-2008, 01:06 AM
Out of curiosity, since this is already way past the deep end anyway, do the other guys here stand up to pee and then sit down to poop if they have to do both?

Personally, I just sit down and take care of both at once. I've heard of people who are so convinced that peeing while seated makes them "deviant" that they'll actually put the lid up, pee standing up, then put the lid down and sit to poop. Never mind that you're guaranteed to splash pee on your buttcheeks in that situation.

Deviant? Wow, like it's a sin? That's hilarious. Poor, poor gents. I don't know about anyone else but 'pee and poop time' for Becky is also 'relax and read' time. Learned that from ol' Dad, who proudly sits and does both :thumbsup: It truly is one of the only times where one can be completely alone.

Slicker
01-31-2008, 03:03 AM
Amen, to that! I tend to be on the throne for about 15 minutes after I'm done because I'm still reading and haven't come to a good stopping point.:thumbsup:

Tycho
01-31-2008, 03:14 AM
Do you guys "mercy flush?"

That is for you "throne sitters," if you are sharing a hotel room or other public quarters where people have to smell what you do, do you send your creation on its way early even if you plan to stay seated and read or something?

Deoxyribonucleic
01-31-2008, 03:25 AM
Do you guys "mercy flush?"

That is for you "throne sitters," if you are sharing a hotel room or other public quarters where people have to smell what you do, do you send your creation on its way early even if you plan to stay seated and read or something?

I call it courtesy flush and one night I was out with my friends Bumcake and Killerpromqueen and I had an IBS attack. We were about to drop Bumcake off at her home for the night and I asked her if I could use the bathroom and that it wouldn't be pretty. Well Bumcake is real easy to talk to about these sorts of things so I felt real comfortable. So I did 3 courtesy flushes thinking everything was ok. Later that night I get a text from Bumcake...

"Damn Becks, I had to open the bathroom window!!"

I almost died of laughter :thumbsup:

CaptainSolo1138
01-31-2008, 08:44 AM
This thread is awesome. I have several things to add:

a) I take care of all business sitting down. Why the hell would I stand up?!
b) The actual amount that I have to go doesn't dictate my stay on ye olde throne. If the chapter I'm reading is good, I'll hang out for a bit (that's when you use baby wipes :))
c) I don't flush twice to be courteous, I flush twice to avoid having to get out the plunger.

El Chuxter
01-31-2008, 12:18 PM
You guys do realize your books will be unreturnable to Brentano's, right?

jedi master sal
01-31-2008, 12:46 PM
If I have to pee and poop at the same time, then I sit. Just makes sense to me.

I do courtesy flush, not just for others, but for myself, especially after beans of any type.
I just hate it when you feel you've got a good carp coming on, take the time to pull your pants down, sit on the throne, then only fart.

Hell I could have done that standing up, or whatever. But sometimes you have to, in case you're not sure if it's just a fart or something else. I'd hate to shart myself thinking it was just a fart.

El Chuxter
01-31-2008, 12:46 PM
I never courtesy flush, unless someone complains. Call me sick, but I like to realize the full potential of my biological warfare.

CaptainSolo1138
01-31-2008, 01:13 PM
Call me sick, but I like to realize the full potential of my biological warfare.Everyone likes their own brand.

jedi master sal
01-31-2008, 03:26 PM
Everyone likes their own brand.

I don't. If it smells, it smells... Granted I don't always notice the stench, but there are those times when even I can't stand my own "creations."

Jedi_Kal-El
01-31-2008, 04:21 PM
No way. Chris Hansen has the ability to read minds now, so we all must be careful.

"Sir, why don't you come have a seat right over here."


I don't know if I'm laughing because you had the balls to say it or if its because its happened to me, too.

I thinks it's happend to all of use at least once.


Amen, to that! I tend to be on the throne for about 15 minutes after I'm done because I'm still reading and haven't come to a good stopping point.:thumbsup:

I like books too, but I also have a handheld Yatzee game. You can't just get up if you got a good round going.


You guys do realize your books will be unreturnable to Brentano's, right?

(Note to self: NEVER get a job in a Bookstore):shocked:


Everyone likes their own brand.

If it's yours, and you can clear a room with it. Claim it proudly.:D

CaptainSolo1138
01-31-2008, 04:31 PM
I like books too, but I also have a handheld Yatzee game. You can't just get up if you got a good round going.
I never understood how people could do that. I can't have both hands occupied. One needs to be in the general vicinity of the junk to make sure it doesn't come out any higher than the slit between the rim and the seat.

Jedi_Kal-El
01-31-2008, 04:40 PM
I never understood how people could do that. I can't have both hands occupied. One needs to be in the general vicinity of the junk to make sure it doesn't come out any higher than the slit between the rim and the seat.

I'm quit good at playing Yatzee with one hand. That's probably why I prefer it to reading most of the time.

Rocketboy
01-31-2008, 06:12 PM
A little late on the action here...

Why the hell would anyone stand up and pee then sit down to deuce? That seems very odd. Do they stand up when drinking then sit down to eat also?
Freaks.


I did have a wee squirt slip through the space between the seat and the bowl one time. Not sure if that was from sneezing or blowing my nose though.Too funny...but reading this thread makes me happy to know I ain't the only one!

I spend a good 15-20 on the can also. My wife always asks me what the hell takes me so long. I tell its a guy thing.

But the absolute worst thing is when you're sick and you have to puke and drop deuce at the same time.
Nothing says dignity like sitting with the squirts and a trash can on your lap.

2-1B
01-31-2008, 07:23 PM
There's a thread around here where I posted about how I loved opening Star Wars figures in the bathroom...then JT posted warnings that sittin on the toilet for too long can give you hemorrhoids...so now I try and do a sh** 'N' split cuz I'm afraid of that happening.


Everyone likes their own brand.

Another offshoot of that is if you break water, hold your hand within the confines of the bowl and just feel the heat radiating from the load, it's weird. :thumbsup:

El Chuxter
01-31-2008, 07:30 PM
Can't say that I ever tried that one, Cae.

2-1B
01-31-2008, 07:49 PM
I discovered it by accident...but it would explain why dogs sometime leave a steaming pile in cold weather.

Mad Slanted Powers
01-31-2008, 08:42 PM
I don't stand to pee and then sit to do #2, but sometimes I've done the reverse. That is, after I am done with #2, I have to stand up and finish with #1. Sometimes it just doesn't all come out in the sitting position. Then I have to worry about drippage in the transition to standing up and turning around.

I never understood people reading while on the toilet. I was always too busy going or wiping. However, now I sometimes use it as an opportunity to read one of my magazines (Entertainment Weekly, Star Wars Insider, Track & Field News, or MacLife). A combination of a hairy behind and not going as often as I should makes #2 a bit of a drawn out event. I'm anal retentive both figuratively and literally.

UKWildcat
01-31-2008, 08:54 PM
I know someone who actually stands up to wipe. Odd huh? Blew my f*cking mind! Ahhh, the crazy things you discover about friends/roommates in college... lol

CaptainSolo1138
01-31-2008, 08:54 PM
Another offshoot of that is if you break water, hold your hand within the confines of the bowl and just feel the heat radiating from the load, it's weird. :thumbsup:I'll remember that the next time I deuce and think, "Boy, my hands are freezin'!"

Also, since I use a hand to keep the junk tucked, washing is a necessity because my fingers are laced with farticles and smell at least as bad as what was left.

2-1B
01-31-2008, 09:04 PM
I don't stand to pee and then sit to do #2, but sometimes I've done the reverse. That is, after I am done with #2, I have to stand up and finish with #1. Sometimes it just doesn't all come out in the sitting position. Then I have to worry about drippage in the transition to standing up and turning around.

That is seriously one of the most effed up things I have ever read. :eek:


A combination of a hairy behind
and not going as often as I should makes #2 a bit of a drawn out event.

Maybe try shaving or trimming? :confused:



I'll remember that the next time I deuce and think, "Boy, my hands are freezin'!"

Do treat yourself. :thumbsup:
It's gotta break water though, so remember it's gotta be a considerable mass. I recommend eating 2 consecutive footlong subs in one sitting, that usually yields enough volume.

CaptainSolo1138
01-31-2008, 09:07 PM
Do treat yourself. :thumbsup:
It's gotta break water though, so remember it's gotta be a considerable mass. I recommend eating 2 consecutive footlong subs in one sitting, that usually yields enough volume.That's pretty much the norm. I go maybe three or four times a week is all, so load size isn't really an issue for me.

Deoxyribonucleic
01-31-2008, 10:02 PM
my friend's grandpa told her that he wishes he could stand but because he's so old he has to sit and his sackletts hangs into the toilet water :eek:

So glad I don't have to worry about things like that :thumbsup: Splash up is already enough of a pooper if you know what I mean.

Mad Slanted Powers
01-31-2008, 10:24 PM
That is seriously one of the most effed up things I have ever read. :eek:What? You've never had one of those moments where you thought you were done peeing and then you realize that isn't the case? Perhaps I need to ask a doctor about an enlarged prostate. Those commercials sort of describe how I feel sometimes.



Maybe try shaving or trimming? :confused:I've been meaning to do that for quite some time.


There's this one guy at work, it sounds as if he flushes the urinal before he is done. If that is true, I'm not sure what that is all about. I make sure I'm all zipped back up and ready to walk away before I flush.

Jedi_Kal-El
01-31-2008, 10:36 PM
What? You've never had one of those moments where you thought you were done peeing and then you realize that isn't the case? Perhaps I need to ask a doctor about an enlarged prostate. Those commercials sort of describe how I feel sometimes.

I don't think I've ever had that problem. Let's see; unzip, pull it out, aim, do my buisness, shake it off, put it back in, and zip. Nope, no problem.

Tycho
01-31-2008, 10:46 PM
I like to go into a public restroom, being the first one, (if I have to use a public restroom - hate that usually) and then when someone enters and can't see me) find Star Wars dialogue to be very useful:

"This is Red 5, I'm going in!"

"Look at the size of that thing!"

"Did it go in?"

"No. It didn't make it. It just impacted on the surface."

"Get set up for your attack run!"

"Let's close it up. We're going in and we're going in full throttle! That ought to keep them off our back!"

"At that speed, do you think we can pull it out in time?"

"It will be just like back home!"

"Great shot kid! That was one in a million!"

This dialogue is incredibly useful in the men's room. It has several benefits.

- No one else who might make a stink is going to sit down in any stall anywhere near you. This includes Senator Larry Craig.

- No one else is going to delay you at the sink afterwards. You'll emerge to find the restroom completely deserted.

- Store security might be found defending your restroom when you leave, though they might look you over strangely.

- You continue to enjoy the greatest Star Wars movie even when you cannot be in front of your 52" Plasma HD TV.

- You really feel something of what it's like to sit on the Emperor's Throne and take a crap on the entire galaxy!

Mad Slanted Powers
01-31-2008, 10:49 PM
I don't think I've ever had that problem. Let's see; unzip, pull it out, aim, do my buisness, shake it off, put it back in, and zip. Nope, no problem.

Well, lucky for you. Sometimes, I get to the "put it back in" stage, maybe even starting the "zip" phase, when I realize I wasn't quite finished yet. So, I got to unzip again and do some more business and some more shaking. A whole lotta shakin' going on and I don't even get to enjoy myself.

Jedi_Kal-El
01-31-2008, 10:57 PM
I like to go into a public restroom, being the first one, (if I have to use a public restroom - hate that usually) and then when someone enters and can't see me) find Star Wars dialogue to be very useful:

"This is Red 5, I'm going in!"

"Look at the size of that thing!"

"Did it go in?"

"No. It didn't make it. It just impacted on the surface."

"Get set up for your attack run!"

"Let's close it up. We're going in and we're going in full throttle! That ought to keep them off our back!"

"At that speed, do you think we can pull it out in time?"

"It will be just like back home!"

"Great shot kid! That was one in a million!"

This dialogue is incredibly useful in the men's room. It has several benefits.

- No one else who might make a stink is going to sit down in any stall anywhere near you. This includes Senator Larry Craig.

- No one else is going to delay you at the sink afterwards. You'll emerge to find the restroom completely deserted.

- Store security might be found defending your restroom when you leave, though they might look you over strangely.

- You continue to enjoy the greatest Star Wars movie even when you cannot be in front of your 52" Plasma HD TV.

- You really feel something of what it's like to sit on the Emperor's Throne and take a crap on the entire galaxy!

If you have big enough balls to do all that Tycho, then I salute you sir.:thumbsup:


Well, lucky for you. Sometimes, I get to the "put it back in" stage, maybe even starting the "zip" phase, when I realize I wasn't quite finished yet. So, I got to unzip again and do some more business and some more shaking. A whole lotta shakin' going on and I don't even get to enjoy myself.

Sometimes it's good to stand there for a few second after just in case, but if I gotta go, I'm making sure to try and get it all out on the first go.

2-1B
01-31-2008, 11:16 PM
MSP I sympathize with your having to squeeze out a few delayed squirts. It's the idea of standing up, turning around, dribbling on the floor, and then squeezing out those squirts that makes me think "WTF?" :confused:

CaptainSolo1138
01-31-2008, 11:28 PM
Let's see; unzip, pull it out, aim, do my buisness, shake it off, put it back in, and zip. Nope, no problem.But remember: Shaking more than twice isn't just "shaking" anymore.

2-1B
01-31-2008, 11:29 PM
Does that same line of thinking apply to shaving one's own evacuation area ?

CaptainSolo1138
01-31-2008, 11:34 PM
Does that same line of thinking apply to shaving one's own evacuation area ?I don't know. I don't see anything wrong with trimming the bung fur, as long as its done out of necessity and not so you can look at yourself in the mirror while doing the Silence of the Lambs dance.

Mad Slanted Powers
01-31-2008, 11:38 PM
MSP I sympathize with your having to squeeze out a few delayed squirts. It's the idea of standing up, turning around, dribbling on the floor, and then squeezing out those squirts that makes me think "WTF?" :confused:Well, I can't sit there forever. The extra ain't coming out until I'm out of the sitting position.

Tycho
01-31-2008, 11:59 PM
I don't know. I don't see anything wrong with trimming the bung fur, as long as its done out of necessity and not so you can look at yourself in the mirror while doing the Silence of the Lambs dance.

Can I use that for a signature line - giving you full credit of course! :thumbsup:

CaptainSolo1138
02-01-2008, 07:46 AM
Can I use that for a signature line - giving you full credit of course! :thumbsup:Absolutely. I'd be honored.

jedi master sal
02-01-2008, 09:40 AM
...There's this one guy at work, it sounds as if he flushes the urinal before he is done.


I do this too. I ALWAYS flush first before I use a public bathroom. You just don't know what sort of person was there before you and the thought of any splashage getting on you from someone else's leftovers is disgusting beyond all imagination to me.

I also always cover the seat with either toilet paper or those seat covers. I'm not a complete germaphobe, but when it comes to bathroom etiquette, I kind of am.

CaptainSolo1138
02-01-2008, 10:00 AM
I do this too. I ALWAYS flush first before I use a public bathroom. You just don't know what sort of person was there before you and the thought of any splashage getting on you from someone else's leftovers is disgusting beyond all imagination to me.If I'm using a urinal, I pee onto the backsplash and never into the receptacle. That's a pretty solid way to avoid splashage.

I also always cover the seat with either toilet paper or those seat covers. I'm not a complete germaphobe, but when it comes to bathroom etiquette, I kind of am.I DO NOT dump in public restrooms. I will not. I've pinched it to the point of thinking I was going to pass out from the pain just to avoid taking a crap on a community toilet.

Tycho
02-01-2008, 12:11 PM
I have to be able to use public restrooms now. I can't "pinch it" for long or it will just all come out.

It's safer - I drive safer - if I go wherever I am (in the restroom of course) before I leave. This is especially true if I am eating out at a restaurant. I also think it's possible that this situation's developed recently in the last 3 years because of my medical condition, but it's real - I can tell you that!

Of course I flush before I use the facility - and afterwards too - and I use all the paper-cover products and add toilet paper on top of it if I need to. Most of those seat cover things don't cover 100% of the shape of the seat correctly.

But I have to go like instantly after I've eaten at a restaurant sometimes.

LAST NIGHT, I got hungry and couldn't sleep. I made a Wal-Mart run (found nothing) and then went to Denny's and planned to go to the grocery store. When I parked at the store (about 2:30am) I was losing it and instead of being able to make it inside and to the back where they have restrooms, I threw up out in the parking lot. I barely held it in on the backside. Instead of grocery shopping (which I must go and do now) I then came directly home and used my own bathroom. I am lucky I made it before my ability to pinch was any further jepeordized.

Pinching is not safe behavior.

Kidhuman
02-01-2008, 12:38 PM
I also always cover the seat with either toilet paper or those seat covers.

The seat covers are called a** gaskets

jedi master sal
02-01-2008, 12:42 PM
I DO NOT dump in public restrooms. I will not. I've pinched it to the point of thinking I was going to pass out from the pain just to avoid taking a crap on a community toilet.

heh heh.

Well, the seat looks like a mummy after I'm done encasing it in toilet paper, so I don't worry about it then.

El Chuxter
02-01-2008, 01:42 PM
One restaurant bathroom had graffiti pointing to the toilet seat covers, and said "Free cowboy hats." As it was one of those pseudo-western restaurants (Roadhouse?), I came out of the bathroom with one on my head. "It's awesome," I said, "they have free cowboy hats in the bathroom."

Tycho
02-01-2008, 02:17 PM
Only once have I ever written graffiti on the stall in a public restroom - well repeatedly in the same stall.

There was a lot of street gang stuff in there.

I started writing "The Sith Are Coming. They will kill you all!"

"There will be a true Galactic Empire!"

- I don't remember exactly what I wrote. It was a long time ago, in a men's room not too far away.

I wonder if it is still there or what the gang members thought about The Sith crossing out their signs and writing over their stuff?

jedi master sal
02-01-2008, 02:58 PM
...I wonder if it is still there or what the gang members thought about The Sith crossing out their signs and writing over their stuff?

They prolly beat the carp out of some random SW fan at one of the movie premieres. Thanks to you, so unknowing fan had their butt beat...heh.

DarthQuack
02-01-2008, 03:02 PM
I'd love to put some Taco Bell packets under the part of the toilet seat that separates it from the bowl, and when the person sits down it either squirts in the toilet or over their leg. That'd be great.

El Chuxter
02-01-2008, 03:17 PM
They prolly beat the carp out of some random SW fan at one of the movie premieres. Thanks to you, so unknowing fan had their butt beat...heh.

Well. That explains it.

You'll be hearing from my lawyer, Tycho. :mad:

Jedi_Kal-El
02-01-2008, 05:01 PM
But remember: Shaking more than twice isn't just "shaking" anymore.

I never shake more than twice.


One restaurant bathroom had graffiti pointing to the toilet seat covers, and said "Free cowboy hats." As it was one of those pseudo-western restaurants (Roadhouse?), I came out of the bathroom with one on my head. "It's awesome," I said, "they have free cowboy hats in the bathroom."

You got any pictures of that Chux? I might have to try that sometime just to see how the crowd reacts.:D

I try not to sit in public restrooms. I won't even sit at work unless it's an absolute emergency, and yes, you do have to mummify the seat.

Mad Slanted Powers
02-01-2008, 08:09 PM
I do this too. I ALWAYS flush first before I use a public bathroom. You just don't know what sort of person was there before you and the thought of any splashage getting on you from someone else's leftovers is disgusting beyond all imagination to me.Just to make sure you understand what I was trying to say about this guy. He'll be at the urinal next to me and I hear a steady stream and he seems to flush before he is finished. Either that or he was able to turn it off instantly the moment he flushed.

I don't worry about flushing a urinal before I go. At home, my mom was always worried about using too much water for fear of the well running dry or some such thing, so sometimes we wouldn't flush if it was just #1. She's even more paranoid about something going wrong with the water at night, so sometimes even a #2 would be there when I would go into the bathroom in the morning. I guess growing up having to use an outhouse, it probably doesn't seem as bad to her.

A few years ago when there was some power outage or water problem affecting part of the city, people were being urged to conserve water. One of the guys on a local radio station were talking about when and when not to flush, and he offered this little rhyme:

"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down."

I'm not out often enough where I really need to use a public bathroom. I can usually wait. I don't mind going if the toilet isn't a mess and I really have to go. One time I went into the bathroom at K-Mart and I think every toilet had a turd in it. I think I must have waited a little longer.

There was a time when I rarely went at work. I just found it inconvenient, my tie gets in the way, the toilet paper isn't as good. However, all that holding it in could be partly the cause of my problem. I've been going at work more often now, but I still try and wait until I get home if it isn't too long.

One time I was in a portable toilet (which I definitely try to avoid using for a sit down), and there was a sheet of paper on the wall that recorded when it had been cleaned. Someone had written on it, "I like poopin' "

Tycho
02-01-2008, 09:16 PM
I can't stand it when people follow that "if it's yellow, let it mellow thing."

One of the greatest modern inventions is the automatically flushing toilet or urinal with the sensors that "whoosh it" on their own.

I don't like to touch stuff in a public restroom as it is. However I grab just one sheet of TP and punch the manual flush button before I use whatever piece of equipment I am needing in there. That relieves me over the splashage issue.

It is an ACCOMPLISHMENT to sanatize a public facility for use when you have to. Yes, my preference is to go at home, but you don't always have that option. And I've already made the case that pinching is dangerous.

So when you clean a public facility to make it comfortable for your use - take pride in your achievement. I may return to this thread to make note of when I make it "safe to sit down."

Meanwhile, there is nothing you can do about the smell. Here's my advice - don't eat in restaurants at popular meal times. Go early or late, and then if you absolutely have to use their public facilities, there is a greater chance that others will have not.

Also, when at the mall, department store restrooms are often a tenfold cleaner than the mall's general public restrooms. Hold it just long enough to go to Macy's or JC Penny's, Nordstroms, etc. It will be nicer in there.

Deoxyribonucleic
02-02-2008, 12:52 AM
I don't like to touch stuff in a public restroom as it is. However I grab just one sheet of TP and punch the manual flush button before I use whatever piece of equipment I am needing in there. That relieves me over the splashage issue.



Use your foot, works great, then you don't have to touch anything with your hands :thumbsup:

I follow the mellow yellow all the time, no sense in wasting water and no one is over here anyway but granny and she leaves the door open when she poops and gases me outta my own bedroom. It's terrible :mad:

Slicker
02-02-2008, 01:20 AM
I follow the mellow yellow all the time, no sense in wasting water and no one is over here anyway but granny and she leaves the door open when she poops and gases me outta my own bedroom. It's terrible :mad:Go granny!!!

That's one of the good things about Japan. Almost everything has technology with it. All of the toilets have the sensors, the sinks have the sensors, even the soap dispensers have the sensors. All so you don't have to touch anything.

They also have toilets with sinks built in. It has the faucet on top of the tank and you simply wash your hands with the water that's going to be used to fill the tank. It happens automatically when you flush your home toilet. It's something very simple that should be implemented in the states.

Jedi_Kal-El
02-02-2008, 02:25 AM
Use your foot, works great, then you don't have to touch anything with your hands :thumbsup:

I follow the mellow yellow all the time, no sense in wasting water and no one is over here anyway but granny and she leaves the door open when she poops and gases me outta my own bedroom. It's terrible :mad:

That was one thing that drove me nuts when my mother-in-law lived with us. She always left the door open, and yelled out when you walk toward the bathroom. Shut the door and you don't have that problem, but for some reason she had a problem with closing doors.

Tycho
02-02-2008, 04:17 PM
Gosh, you DO NOT "let it mellow." That's disgusting. And especially if you have pets!

I object to this and think we need to toilet train some people.

Can you tell I feel strongly about this issue?

Deoxyribonucleic
02-02-2008, 05:14 PM
Gosh, you DO NOT "let it mellow." That's disgusting. And especially if you have pets!

I object to this and think we need to toilet train some people.

Can you tell I feel strongly about this issue?

My cat does not drink out of the toilet, he is classy and thinks THAT is disgusting. lol Unlike some people, I put the seat down after I'm done and no one knows the difference since I am the only one who uses my bathroom. I also drink water so my pee is generally clear and all you see is toilet paper hanging out. I conserve wherever and whenever I can, no matter how small it may seem. Yet another reason to not flush if it's just pee, I don't want to wake up granny flushing toilets all of the time. :thumbsup:

Tycho
02-02-2008, 09:14 PM
Oh gosh. I can't believe I'm going to have "an argument" with Deoxy, a girl too, over THIS. Haha.

It is more classy to always flush than to have a cat that's classy enough to not drink from the toilet. On one side it's personal responsibility. On the other, all "the class" is with the cat.

I'll give you "no one notices the difference because I'm the only one who uses my bathroom." I can't argue with that.

But I always put both seat and lid down when I'm done, even though I do flush, because I don't think cats or dogs should learn to use the toilet in that manner. Furthermore, it's dangerous for cats and smaller dogs. Fido could go down like a floater!

I drink water too, kind of my kidney situation. Probably 8 glasses a day. I think that does influence whether you have clearer pee-pee somewhat, but it's also affected by what you eat (and how well your kidneys are working or not). Clear pee can be a sign that your kidneys are just not doing their job and getting the toxins out of you (which come out processed as yellow).

Guys can be superior caretakers of the environment since we can shake and don't need paper after just going No. 1. Al Gore and Ron Jeremy are both some of our greatest celebrity Shakers versus Papers! It is said that even when Gore's wife is baking, Al is shaking! (This might be why she tried to regulate all adult content in the media though).

You don't conserve water by not flushing! Conserve by not washing your car with water, but hand-clean it with windex. Don't water the lawn in the middle of the day during brutal summer heat. Run the sprinklers at night. And so on. Someone can link to Ricky the Raindrop's website (remember him? I'm sure he has a website doesn't he?) for further details.

I don't know why people think a flushing toilet will wake other in the house up at night (or day) or whenever they are sleeping. If it is that loud, you need a plummer. And I will take showers at 3:30 in the am or watch Star Wars in surround sound. True I live alone, but I have neighbors. My toilet flushing is the least of any possible noise complaints anyone could have with me.

"This is Red 5, I'm going in!"

Oh, and grannies can't hear anything. Sooner or later that's the case anyway.

My grandma: "And how are you, Dear?"

"Oh, I've been busy with al-Qaeda, blowing up buildings, hijacking stuff. That sort of thing."

My grandma: "Well that's wonderful! You're such a good boy. Your parents would be so proud."

Don't underestimate the ineptitude of the senior citizen's hearing!

Flush! Flush! Flush! You can do it! You can do it all-night-long!

Jedi_Kal-El
02-02-2008, 09:36 PM
Oh, and grannies can't hear anything. Sooner or later that's the case anyway.

My grandma: "And how are you, Dear?"

"Oh, I've been busy with al-Qaeda, blowing up buildings, hijacking stuff. That sort of thing."

My grandma: "Well that's wonderful! You're such a good boy. Your parents would be so proud."

Don't underestimate the ineptitude of the senior citizen's hearing!

Flush! Flush! Flush! You can do it! You can do it all-night-long!

Just remeber Tycho, most grannies aren't as hard of hearing as you might think. My grandma is 82 and could probably hear a mouse fart from the other room.

If I were caught helping a major terrorist group and there was overwhelming evidence against me, my grandma would say"Not my grandson, he's innocent and he'd never do anything like that." Not because she's hard of hearing, but because I'm her grandson, and most grandmas don't like to believe their grandchildren capable of things like that.

I understand where some of your argument is coming from, but in short...Never underestimate granny.:)

Deoxyribonucleic
02-02-2008, 11:06 PM
Well my dear, I don't live my life based on what you think so I will continue to let it mellow. :whip: Been doing it for years and not going to stop ;) And yes it does conserve water, remember I said, I conserve no matter how little...the small things do add up! And second, don't need a plumber however, my toilet is directly on the other side of Granny's bedroom wall, and yes it does wake her up from time to time. I care more about her than some stupid pi** sitting in a toilet that NO ONE SEES :thumbsup:

Mad Slanted Powers
02-02-2008, 11:22 PM
As I mentioned, my mom grew up having to use an outhouse, so a toilet sitting unflushed overnight is not a big deal to her. Having the plumbing rupture in the middle of the night because you couldn't wait until morning is.

I don't practice this not flushing in my house, even though no one else is ever here. Maybe once in a while. Sometimes I go at night but don't go to bed right away. Then a half hour or so later I finally go to bed and feel like I need to go one more time so I don't wake up in the middle of the night. There won't be much there anyway. However, sometimes I am in such a habit of flushing that I go ahead and flush it anyway. Sometimes I think I should be more conservative minded with it like Deoxy. I've considered the option of going to a metered water bill. Right now it is optional, but since I don't use near as much as most people, I might be able to save some money. I might be inclined to flush a little less in that situation.

TeeEye7
02-03-2008, 12:38 AM
"Psychology"

The P is silent......as in pool.

Tycho
02-03-2008, 01:12 AM
But flushing is fun! Even when you don't have to go, you can make little paper boats and recreate the whirlpool scene from Pirates of the Caribbean - not that I do that or anything.

Jedi_Kal-El
02-03-2008, 01:14 AM
But flushing is fun! Even when you don't have to go, you can make little paper boats and recreate the whirlpool scene from Pirates of the Caribbean - not that I do that or anything.

Don't lie dude:D I might have to try that one day if I ever get bored.:thumbsup:

Tycho
02-03-2008, 01:21 AM
Alright. Here's something dangerous that you can do to add to the fun.

I used to get in trouble for doing this when I was a kid.

Light the paper boats on fire by dropping lit matches into the toilet to simulate the cannon fire. The one that burns first, doesn't win.

Then the whirlpool comes on with the flush and condemns them all to Davy Jones' Locker!

"Dead men tell no tales!"

Jedi_Kal-El
02-03-2008, 01:25 AM
Alright. Here's something dangerous that you can do to add to the fun.

I used to get in trouble for doing this when I was a kid.

Light the paper boats on fire by dropping lit matches into the toilet to simulate the cannon fire. The one that burns first, doesn't win.

Then the whirlpool comes on with the flush and condemns them all to Davy Jones' Locker!

"Dead men tell no tales!"

I'm pretty sure my dad would have whupped my butt for that when I was a kid, but now that I'm all growed up, maybe I'll try that sometime.lol

Tycho
02-03-2008, 01:30 AM
Yeah, my mom caught me "lighting fires in the toilet" and I got in trouble.

I made the situation worse, because I said, "Awww Mom, everyone lights fires with their *** in toilets everywhere. I'm still doing that but I'm just not using my butt!"

BTW, there are some books out there that teach you how to make excellent paper boats that really float until they absorb too much water. You can put some time and effort into your ships before you destroy them.

Launching the lit matches with rubber bands (like slingshots) also increases the authenticity of the battle simulation!

But watch your aim because a whole roll of toiletpaper could easily catch on fire.

Not that I still do this or anything. :Pirate::Pirate::Pirate:

Look: I found a use for the pirate emoticon!

bobafrett
02-05-2008, 09:42 PM
I remember a time at my first apartment. I had a lady friend over, and it was a studio apartment, so when she went to use the bathroom, I could hear her going, and it sounded like her pee was shooting out at a high velocity. I remember the only thought that came to my head was "She must be a virgin". Of course I was a virgin still at that time, and I had no idea how a womans pee should sound.

Great, thanks for this wonderful thread. No really Deox, thanks.

2-1B
02-05-2008, 10:53 PM
Frett, a woman's urine flows through the urethra which is a different hole than the vagina which is the hole where a penis (or other invasive object) is placed during sexual intercourse which determines that woman's sexual status.

I apologize for the run-on sentence.

El Chuxter
02-05-2008, 11:01 PM
Okay, is this thread crossing the line yet?

:thumbsup:

TeeEye7
02-05-2008, 11:03 PM
No. Especially if you're signed up for Urology 101. :squareeye

Look! It's Pepe, the foreign exchange student! Er, how's that pronounced?

jedi master sal
02-05-2008, 11:40 PM
Okay, is this thread crossing the line yet?

:thumbsup:

Yeah, I think that previous post might have been a bit much.

In other news, ActionFigs.com has some news on other lines, go check it out!

Deoxyribonucleic
02-05-2008, 11:52 PM
Frett, a woman's urine flows through the urethra which is a different hole than the vagina which is the hole where a penis (or other invasive object) is placed during sexual intercourse which determines that woman's sexual status.

I apologize for the run-on sentence.

And you should!!

Otherwise, everything else is perfect :thumbsup:


;)

Bobafrett, anything to amuse, entertain or arouse you is my pleasure ;)

2-1B
02-06-2008, 12:05 AM
Yeah, I think that previous post might have been a bit much.

I already said I was sorry for the run-on sentence.

jedi master sal
02-06-2008, 08:51 AM
I already said I was sorry for the run-on sentence.

Apology accepted capt....NM.

Slicker
02-06-2008, 09:05 AM
Boys have a penis. Girls have a bleeding hatchet wound.

Kidhuman
02-06-2008, 09:52 AM
Bobafrett, anything to amuse, entertain or arouse you is my pleasure ;)

The guy isnt even married yet and you are trying to get him divorced

CaptainSolo1138
02-06-2008, 10:14 AM
Is there an SSG hall of fame? If not, I nominate this thread for the inaugural induction class.

jedi master sal
02-06-2008, 11:32 AM
Is there an SSG hall of fame? If not, I nominate this thread for the inaugural induction class.

I'll 2nd that.

Tycho
02-06-2008, 11:38 AM
I could guarantee you that if I'd started the thread or guided its direction, it'd be closed or moved to the Rancor Pit by now. :yes:

CaptainSolo1138
02-06-2008, 12:43 PM
I could guarantee you that if I'd started the thread or guided its direction, it'd be closed or moved to the Rancor Pit by now. :yes:Only because you'd be telling us that Democratic urine smells less than Republican urine.:p

jedi master sal
02-06-2008, 12:51 PM
I could guarantee you that if I'd started the thread or guided its direction, it'd be closed or moved to the Rancor Pit by now. :yes:

It should be moved at this point. HOwever everyone pees and such so this isn't so bad. And there isn't a discussion that is even close to the borderline talk of the one of your's that was moved.

I'm okay with this one being moved, but I won't do the moving this time.

Tycho
02-06-2008, 12:52 PM
It should be moved at this point. HOwever everyone pees and such so this isn't so bad. And there isn't a discussion that is even close to the borderline talk of the one of your's that was moved.



Which one was that? The list is so extensive!

Jedi_Kal-El
02-06-2008, 04:03 PM
Only because you'd be telling us that Democratic urine smells less than Republican urine.:p

One more thing I didn't need to know about my friendly neighborhood politicians. :rolleyes:

El Chuxter
02-06-2008, 04:07 PM
Hillary's pee smells like crap, because everything that goes into or out of her mouth is crap.

2-1B
02-07-2008, 12:53 AM
Hilary's vagina yields the same effects as liquid nitrogen.

Jedi_Kal-El
02-07-2008, 03:36 PM
Hillary's pee smells like crap, because everything that goes into or out of her mouth is crap.


Hilary's vagina yields the same effects as liquid nitrogen.

Hillary should have a Biohazzard warning.

El Chuxter
02-07-2008, 03:51 PM
Biohazard was a great band. Please do not insult them in that manner.

Thank you.

Jedi_Kal-El
02-07-2008, 04:06 PM
Biohazard was a great band. Please do not insult them in that manner.

Thank you.

That wasn't a hate on the band Chux, but I'll change it to yellow police tape or a "comdemned" sticker just for you bud. :thumbsup: