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View Full Version : My Name Is Josh and I Have D-MPD (Dominant Multiple Personality Disorder)



Tycho
03-23-2008, 04:02 PM
For many years you all have been aware of and corresponding with Tycho.

Indeed, we are one in the same body. But I have just learned some startling new facts about him.

For one: to bring Tycho out of me, you can just add water - like Sea Monkeys. For years now I have wondered why I scream, make farting noises, and animal calls in the shower. I have refined my theory. A part of it is that the deeper breathing required of me while doing this aids in breathing in the hot steam that is emitted along with the sprinkling water. But I have also made it a tradition to inhabit residences with large bathrooms that result in natural echoes. This encourages Tycho to make disturbing noises and shout profound, non-sensical and / or profane things as loudly as he can, while in the shower. I know his favorite fantasy is mutating into an Alien and launching himself through the bathroom ceiling into the apartment above him in order to eat his neighbor.

He also has fantasies about running around the streets of San Diego naked while destroying police cars. True. - and no it doesn't make any sense.

There was a naked guy who was featured on national news vandalizing a convenience store and attacking their potato chip display. I think Tycho really admires this guy, like a super-hero or something.

But in any case, we have identified one way to dangerously provoke Tycho - by adding water.

Second: I believe the electrical impulses being received by Wi-Fi connections, DSL, etc. trigger the D-MPD, ASAP. Indeed if I as myself ("Josh") stay connected to the internet for any length of time, my thought processes become "cracked," and Tycho emerges, stimulated by continuous bombardment of wireless data transfers. Once active, his creativity centers work overtime on insane projects with intentions like making you (the reader) become convinced that sex with farm animals is acceptable social behavior - especially while one is quoting the American Constitution and simulating the voice of Ron Paul.

I strongly recommend analyzing posts made under the Tycho screen-name to determine whether it is "Josh" posting, or this Tycho character, who seems to be pathologically insane.

That is all the information I have at the moment. I should disconnect as this internet connection is starting to stimulate my alter-ego personality and I really don't want him to find out about this post. I'm not sure how he'll react and it might result in my trying to beat myself up again.

Don't be fooled by Tycho playing nice. He is an extreme Michael Bay fan and that results in his obsession with action and violence.

Please be careful!

2-1B
03-23-2008, 04:16 PM
How do we put Tycho back in ? Blow him dry ?

El Chuxter
03-23-2008, 05:13 PM
Once active, his creativity centers work overtime on insane projects with intentions like making you (the reader) become convinced that sex with farm animals is acceptable social behavior - especially while one is quoting the American Constitution and simulating the voice of Ron Paul.

Awesome! :thumbsup:

Tycho
03-23-2008, 06:08 PM
How do we put Tycho back in ? Blow him dry ?

Josh here, for right now anyway.

No. Tycho comes out when you add water.

Keeping me dry should maintain my posts at some level of normality.

I am not sure how food, drink, or alchohol will affect Tycho as of yet. It might be pretty scary.

TeeEye7
03-23-2008, 06:31 PM
Caesar: be glad Tycho lives with us here in California. Rain is a rarity, so we've got that on our side. The only down side is that he's too close to the ocean. One toe in Mission Bay and we've had it!

;)

Jargo
03-23-2008, 07:32 PM
Why - that would be Cloverfield times ten thousand.

Jedi_Kal-El
03-23-2008, 07:34 PM
Suddenly, living 2000 miles away doesn't seem like such a bad thing.:p

DarthQuack
03-23-2008, 08:04 PM
Shouldn't this be included in post padding?

2-1B
03-24-2008, 12:23 PM
Caesar: be glad Tycho lives with us here in California. Rain is a rarity, so we've got that on our side. The only down side is that he's too close to the ocean. One toe in Mission Bay and we've had it!

;)

Our only hope is that the salt in the water will negate the hyper-hydrating powers of traditional H2O :thumbsup:

Tycho
03-24-2008, 04:51 PM
Ah-Hah!

That little rodent Josh has been using my log-on while I've been away and I finally caught him!

That pc squirrel thinks he's so clever now that he's written a book! Well he couldn't have done it without me. It would have been so boring without all the inappropriate sex, racism, dispatriotism, conspiracy theories, biggotry, misogyny, and all the other sweet stuff that I'm really good at bringing out of him.

Then the dweeb goes on SSG and makes another LIST of dumb plastic action figures he wants.

Ha! I'm editing a list of Elliot Spitzer's finest call-girls! Tell me what's more useful?

And the shower thing? What the heck is he thinking? If you get soap in your eyes, you're supposed to scream and let your neighbors know about it. And even if you don't, screaming anyway will help you practice or prepare for an exciting new career in a death-metal band.

Anyway, I can't believe Josh came on and was posting here! Why can't he sign up for his own username? Then we can argue, and you can watch me really put myself in my place....er.... uh....you know what I mean.

Anyway, I'll leave you with this thought for the day from Tycho:


AAAaaaaaaagggggghhhhh!

And I'll let you ponder the deeper meaning of that!

Banthaholic
03-24-2008, 09:30 PM
Does this mean that you get multiple votes for the Hasbro questions? :)

Or... you can sign the Ackmena petition multiple times

...though the carpool lane might be pushing it.

Tycho
03-24-2008, 10:10 PM
[QUOTE=Banthaholic;609976]Does this mean that you get multiple votes for the Hasbro questions? :)

I've kind of lost interest in participating in those, though JT does an excellent job and I AM interested in reading the answers from all the sites' questions that he edits.


Or... you can sign the Ackmena petition multiple times

I wouldn't sign it once, even as a joke. As long as Hasbro makes Cliegg, Owen, Beru, and some unproduced Padmes and Bail Organas, I'll pretty much be happy with what I got from SW collecting (when I've bought the AT-TE and DO hear that they are making Jabba's Sailbarge).


...though the carpool lane might be pushing it.

Probably. I hate driving around with Josh anyway. He won't let me flick people off, yell at them, or occasionally shoot them (if I'm in a really bad mood). What's the matter with him? I know we had fun after all those quarters we spent playing "Road Blasters" back in its arcade days!

But he's the one with the driver's license and I can't get around that much without him. Bah! :P

The 'Xir
03-27-2008, 02:41 PM
Caesar: be glad Tycho lives with us here in California.

Something tells me, he's been living in Cali tooo long! Move as quickly as you can Josh before the effects are irreversible! Think the smog or the 'botox cultural deviants' have got there clutches on you, waay to strong! Break free my son, L.A. is the path to the Dark Side! :yes::D