View Full Version : Find chuck Norris

04-13-2008, 11:32 AM
go to google.ca (maybe .com will work too) type in Find Chuck Norris and hit "I'm feeling lucky", be sure to read everything on the results page :D
dammmmmmit wheree's the damn beard. ruined pretty much ALL my posts

04-13-2008, 02:11 PM
Nicely done! It works on regular google too. But "This page has no affiliation with Google" is at the bottom.

Beard is currently under :bored: bored

04-13-2008, 06:17 PM
Awesome, 3 :bored: 's to that

04-14-2008, 07:55 AM
Well played. Just when I think I can't take another Chuck Norris reference, something like this comes along.

04-14-2008, 04:37 PM
That's too funny. Just goes to show you that Chuck is everywhere.

04-14-2008, 05:40 PM
French Military victories is another great search to do and hit I'm feeling lucky.

04-14-2008, 07:13 PM
French Military victories is another great search to do and hit I'm feeling lucky.

That's even better than Chuck, KH.lol

04-14-2008, 07:40 PM
French Military victories is another great search to do and hit I'm feeling lucky.

Thats some fine work there KH I tip my hat to you! It reminds me of an email I got a few years ago......

So, after 58 years, the French have decided that they prefer Vichy after all. It's hardly surprising. When the Vichy regime was in power, one could pretty much do what one wanted when it came to those troublesome Jews. Yes, there were shortages and lots of Germans around, but that's not much different from the present. Plus, just like today, the truly intellectual could take pride in the notion that they were part of something larger than a piddling little nation state. And really, "Liberté, égalité, fraternité!" is just so passe. Vichy knew that too, which is why they were replaced
with Travail (work), Famille (family), and Patrie (fatherland).

Not that those are any better. The modern Vichian motto might as well be ignorez, retarde, apaisez. Ignore, delay and appease describe the
French character as well as anything else, excepts perhaps "Unions, Vacations and
Occasional Showers!".

You can hardly blame the French. France is example number one when comes to natural selection of a nation's character.

Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded
Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to
the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a
British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical
to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

El Chuxter
04-14-2008, 10:07 PM
The "failure" doesn't work anymore. It used to send you to George Bush's biography on the official White House site.

04-15-2008, 04:40 AM
Thats some fine work there KH I tip my hat to you! It reminds me of an email I got a few years ago......

That wasnt me, a friend from work told me about it when I told him about Chuck. He said there are alot more, he cant remember them.