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View Full Version : How to feel like a total bloody idiot



El Chuxter
07-17-2008, 10:30 PM
1) Wake up.
2) Eat breakfast.
3) Try to pull up internet to check news.
4) Notice modem is not receiving a signal.
5) Chalk it up to maintenance, since provider sent postcard a few days earlier saying they're working in the area, and there will be brief, intermittent service disruptions.
6) Wonder all day when it's coming back online.
7) Call provider around 6 PM.
8) Schedule appointment for next day when customer service rep says it sounds like a modem issue that will need replacement.
9) Move around furniture to clear space.
10) Find out that, somehow, cable came unplugged from the wall even though no one ever goes near it.

Yep, that'll do it.

JediTricks
07-17-2008, 10:37 PM
The part that delivered you unto total idiocy there was making the call before checking the connections. :p

Phantom-like Menace
07-17-2008, 11:33 PM
And that's why it's never a stupid question for customer service to ask if it's plugged in.

Neuroleptic
07-17-2008, 11:46 PM
^_^ Well, despite that we now all know you to be a total idiot, I'd like to say that you are a mighty confident and brave idiot to admit that openly!

Jedi_Kal-El
07-17-2008, 11:51 PM
And that's why it's never a stupid question for customer service to ask if it's plugged in.

I'm guessing they didn't in this case though. Heck they probably just wanted to get the money from the service call.

El Chuxter
07-18-2008, 12:53 AM
Thing is, I don't pay for service calls. So that's not it.

I checked all the connections except the one into the wall. I still have no idea how it came unhooked, especially since it would've had to have twisted out. :confused:

jamesbondo07
07-18-2008, 06:41 AM
Thing is, I don't pay for service calls. So that's not it.

I checked all the connections except the one into the wall. I still have no idea how it came unhooked, especially since it would've had to have twisted out. :confused:

It was the modem gnomes. :D

Phantom-like Menace
07-18-2008, 06:59 AM
One time I was getting a lot of static on my cable. I checked the connection at the wall, and I checked the connection at the splitter several times. I don't remember why I didn't check the back of the television, but I was certain that couldn't be the problem. It turned out the cable wasn't connected to the back of the television at all and I was getting a weak signal through the power cord. I found it myself, though.

Of course our apartment at the time had a crazy strong cable signal. My roommate could get cable through the antenna on his mobile TV.

Kidhuman
07-18-2008, 07:36 AM
1) Wake up.
2) Eat breakfast.
3) Try to pull up internet to check news.
4) Notice modem is not receiving a signal.
5) Chalk it up to maintenance, since provider sent postcard a few days earlier saying they're working in the area, and there will be brief, intermittent service disruptions.
6) Wonder all day when it's coming back online.
7) Call provider around 6 PM.
8) Schedule appointment for next day when customer service rep says it sounds like a modem issue that will need replacement.
9) Move around furniture to clear space.
10) Find out that, somehow, cable came unplugged from the wall even though no one ever goes near it.

Yep, that'll do it.


Moron.....

Lowly Bantha Cleaner
07-18-2008, 02:09 PM
Moron.....


http://youtube.com/watch?v=E8gsaDdqGzA

And Chux, don't feel bad. I am sure I have that beat at least 10 times over.

Bel-Cam Jos
07-18-2008, 05:59 PM
How to feel like a total bloody idiot
1) Wake up.
2) Eat breakfast.
3) Drive to local Hallmark shop to be early enough for new Keepsake ornament premiere.
4) Sit in car, reading a book.
5) Go into grocery store to use bathroom.
6) See #5 for #1 and #2. ;)
7) Walk to shop entrance, since it's a couple minutes to opening.
8) Strike up conversation with fellow shopper/collector about SW items, including ornaments.
9) Allow conversation to go on about 10-15 minutes.
10) Check your watch, realizing it's far past opening time.
11) Watch fellow collector try door that had been unlocked the whole time.

Yep, that'll do it.

Or, the first time I used a coin operated laudromat (maybe 15 years ago), I waited by the one machine I used for three loads of laundry. Now, you'd think that it was quite busy there, right? Nope; I was one of two people there. Then, I told people I did this. And now, I've typed that I did this.

Yep, that'll do it, too.

El Chuxter
07-18-2008, 11:18 PM
Here's another, though it makes me mad that I have to make another frigging trip into town tomorrow because someone else is an idiot.

I'm hanging blinds in one of the bedrooms. I measure the window. It's a millimeter larger than 59". I'm hanging the blinds inside the frame, so the blinds cannot be larger than the window frame.

So I go to the hardware store that's not in town because I have a coupon. The one I want says it's 59" wide, and, in large print underneath the size, has this disclaimer: "Actual size is 1/2" smaller for inside mounting." So, logically, I conclude it's really 58.5". Which is what I need. Definitely don't want the 58", right? That'd be 57.5", which would leave a margin of almost 2" around the edges.

Get home, crack it open (and it's impossible to open blinds without totally devastating the packaging), and the first thing I notice is that the instructions were definitely not written by a native English speaker, or a native speaker of any tongue known to earthlings, for that matter. It actually jumps across the page in random order, and has all sorts of comments that make no sense whatsoever. Luckily, I've hanged blinds before, and they don't vary much.

So, of course you see where this is going, don't you? The blinds are too wide. At first I think it's just a tight fit, but they're definitely too wide. I take them down and measure them. They're 59.25" wide.

So, despite a clear notice that the actual size is smaller than indicated, they're larger than indicated. :confused: Which means I have to somehow get this back in the box, drive into town tomorrow (since we're re-doing my daughter's room, and want it totally done before Comic-Con), exchange the bloody thing while looking like I'm the one who's too freaking stupid to measure things, drive back home, and hang the things almost 24 hours later than planned.

Dammit. Stupid people should not breathe.

Kidhuman
07-19-2008, 06:52 AM
Whats with the use of Bloody? Have you been watcing BBC America?

Bel-Cam Jos
07-19-2008, 09:41 AM
What's the basic post for fence/home building? A 2X4 (or 4X4), right? I was replacing a fence blown down by the wind several years back, and I preplanned how many 2X4s I'd need, and bought an extra in case I messed up. Good thing I did, as the 2" by 4" post was actually 3 7/8" wide, therefore every eight took an inch off. :upset:

I love that the reduction in countainer/product sizes (4oz bars of soap instead of 4.5oz, 48oz or 56oz ice creams instead of half gallons, etc.) hasn't changed the coupons for said items, therefore, you'd lose your $.50 off because that size item no longer exists. :sad:

And I see the adjective "bloody" most appropriately linked to "idiot," irregardless (:p) of country.

El Chuxter
07-19-2008, 12:51 PM
I can say "bloody" in America and offend no one but Jargo. :)

Kidhuman
07-19-2008, 02:44 PM
Its not offending me, just wondering were it came from and why the use of it

El Chuxter
07-19-2008, 06:35 PM
Exactly. Only Jargo is offended, since he's British. :p

DarthQuack
07-19-2008, 07:01 PM
That totally made my day.

El Chuxter
07-19-2008, 07:13 PM
By the way, if anyone cares, the 58" blind (which also says it's actually one-half inch smaller than the stated size) is approximately 58.667" wide.

Someone must've mistranslated "smaller"; that's all I can figure.

bobafrett
07-20-2008, 09:55 AM
On the blinds note, many years ago I moved into a 1 bedroom apartment, and decided I would get some vertical blinds for my place. I decided to get some custom blinds, since I had planned on living there for quite some time. I spent $200 + for blinds for my frontroom window, and another $200 + for my blinds in my bedroom. I got them shipped to me, and I hung them myself. About a year or so after living there, I had my son move in with me (long story, for a different day), and I had to move into a place where he would have his own room. I get here, and the blinds do not fit any room in the house, they just sit inside a plastic tote, waiting until we move again, and now that I'm married, we have been looking.

I am an idiot for spending that much money on blinds! If only I had seen a Crystal ball, I didn't plan on seeing my son until he was 18, and then becuase of circumstances beyond my control, he moved in, and has been with me since he was 11. Well, I'd rather have my son, the have $200 blinds anyway.

Jargo
07-20-2008, 10:28 AM
There there now.... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AdFA6WWJ7E)

El Chuxter
07-20-2008, 11:18 AM
Oh, try to rickroll me because you got offended?

Jargo
07-20-2008, 12:48 PM
*whistles nonchalantly*

chrisc
07-20-2008, 07:57 PM
I can say "bloody" in America and offend no one but Jargo. :)

Bloody Wankers

Jargo
07-20-2008, 08:45 PM
oh now that was just a social faux pas.

*flares nostrils and sips tea*

y'know what I say, take the windows with you as well as the blinds. that's what I say.

JediTricks
07-21-2008, 12:15 AM
By the way, if anyone cares, the 58" blind (which also says it's actually one-half inch smaller than the stated size) is approximately 58.667" wide.

Someone must've mistranslated "smaller"; that's all I can figure.Or they shoved a 59 into a 58 box. Unless the second box also had this, then they should be beaten with wet socks.


Damn, whomever edited that Muppets video into a Rickroll did a really excellent job getting Beaker's mouth movements to lock up. Here's the original, "Feelings" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3BNRF9ICc