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View Full Version : Verizon Intercepts Your Phone Calls And Tries To Upgrade Your Calling Plan To Make $$



Tycho
01-07-2009, 01:39 PM
I totally accused the sales guy of being Dick Cheney!

Before you get on with someone, there is this recording that says your call may be taped to provide quality customer service.

I totally yelled at this guy and told him that in my e-mailed newsletter from the California Young Democrats they told me that he (Vice-President Dick Cheney) would be listening to my phone calls!

Then I asked him what happened to my privacy if I was really Abdullah The Terrorist and was planning to blow up toilets in McDonalds?

I further suggested that he (Mr. Cheney - I kept calling him this) should spend his time monitoring extra-terrestrial signals because I saw a television program called ALF and I've determined that it signaled an invasion!

Confused, Mr. Cheney eventually bowed out of the conversation and said that he had to go and it was nice talking with me, and if I wanted to upgrade my Verizon plan I could call the wireless communications company.

I asked if I'd get to talk to him again, but he hung up. I could sense a wave of relief coming from the other end of the line.

And so concludes my conversation with Dick Cheney about McDonalds' toilets and ALF.

bobafrett
01-08-2009, 08:51 AM
That was really me calling and messing with you.

I hate those type of sales calls. Wish I could be more creative while on the line with them, but I usually just hang up on the caller.

Tycho
01-08-2009, 02:34 PM
It figures. I was actually dialing YOUR number when my call got re-routed to Vice President Cheney.

After that ticked me off, I waited a while before I called you. While my performance for the Vice President was fun, I was rather angry because I had to do it in the first place.

JediTricks
01-08-2009, 05:28 PM
Ok, who gave you guys the drugs? Where did you learn to do this stuff?!? ;)

Darth Jax
01-08-2009, 07:00 PM
i used to wonder what drugs tycho took and whether he brought enough to share with the class. over time i've come to realize that he's just possibly insane.

sith_killer_99
01-08-2009, 07:37 PM
While my performance for the Vice President was fun, I was rather angry because I had to do it in the first place.

I was not amused, I mean Dick Cheney was not amused. I didn't appreciate, I mean he didn't appreciate the way you were disrespectful, all I have ever done, I mean all Dick Cheney has ever done was to protect this country.

Finally, all I can say is, "Josh, we know where you live, we also know about your book. It might be dangerous for a person like yourself to "rock the boat" shall we say."

On the other hand, we appreciate "team players" and would be more than happy to help a member of the team.

The choice is yours.:twisted:

Jedi_Kal-El
01-08-2009, 08:26 PM
i used to wonder what drugs tycho took and whether he brought enough to share with the class. over time i've come to realize that he's just possibly insane.

I rather enjoy Tycho's stories and adventures. Keeps things from getting dull.

JediTricks
01-09-2009, 02:21 AM
Dick Cheney was once in kindergarten and probably considered cute by... someone, I guess.

Not in this photo though: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ford_meets_with_Rumsfeld_and_Cheney,_April_28 ,_1975.jpg
Wow, he actually looks creepier in the '70s with Rumsfeld and Ford than he does now!

Rummy & Cheney from a little earlier, here Cheney looks like he belongs on The Bob Newhart show as one of Bob's clients:
http://mindprod.com/image/people/rumsfeldcheney.jpg

Cheney enjoying bumper cars, clearly because it's the only time he's allowed to run down small children without getting dirty looks: http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/images/2007/11/18/posl16_kennerly0712.jpg

There are apparently no earlier photos of Dick Cheney because he demands it to be so, his powers are far beyond cell phone calls and deep into controlling content on the web... with his mind! There is however a scan of his yearbook photo, but this is more his "Anakin" stage, before he became more machine than man:
http://www.democracyfornewmexico.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/07/31/cheneyhighschool.jpg

bigbarada
01-09-2009, 02:43 AM
Dick Cheney was once in kindergarten and probably considered cute by... someone, I guess.

Not in this photo though: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ford_meets_with_Rumsfeld_and_Cheney,_April_28 ,_1975.jpg
Wow, he actually looks creepier in the '70s with Rumsfeld and Ford than he does now!

Rummy & Cheney from a little earlier, here Cheney looks like he belongs on The Bob Newhart show as one of Bob's clients:
http://mindprod.com/image/people/rumsfeldcheney.jpg

Cheney enjoying bumper cars, clearly because it's the only time he's allowed to run down small children without getting dirty looks: http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/images/2007/11/18/posl16_kennerly0712.jpg

There are apparently no earlier photos of Dick Cheney because he demands it to be so, his powers are far beyond cell phone calls and deep into controlling content on the web... with his mind! There is however a scan of his yearbook photo, but this is more his "Anakin" stage, before he became more machine than man:
http://www.democracyfornewmexico.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/07/31/cheneyhighschool.jpg

Awesome!:thumbsup: So this means I can make fun of Barack Obama? As long as I don't mention his policies and just insult him as a person, then I'm good right?

JediTricks
01-09-2009, 06:20 PM
Did I make fun of the President? No. So you can mock Biden. ;) For example, his combover isn't fooling anyone. Should probably be somewhat within the context of the thread you're posting in though.

I dare you to disagree with anything I said in the previous post though. DARE!

bigbarada
01-09-2009, 06:42 PM
Disagree or disprove? Because I can disagree with all of it apart from the statement that those are photos of Dick Cheney.

Jedi_Kal-El
01-09-2009, 06:59 PM
Dick Cheney was once in kindergarten and probably considered cute by... someone, I guess.

Not in this photo though: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ford_meets_with_Rumsfeld_and_Cheney,_April_28 ,_1975.jpg
Wow, he actually looks creepier in the '70s with Rumsfeld and Ford than he does now!


His liver spots make him look less creepy these days JT.

JediTricks
01-09-2009, 07:16 PM
Disagree or disprove? Because I can disagree with all of it apart from the statement that those are photos of Dick Cheney.You're saying that's not Rumsfeld, President Ford, a yearbook photo, or bumper cars?


His liver spots make him look less creepy these days JT.They give his weaselly face texture? ;)

bigbarada
01-09-2009, 07:19 PM
You're saying that's not Rumsfeld, President Ford, a yearbook photo, or bumper cars?


Maybe I worded that wrong. I agree that those are photos of Dick Cheney, just not the some of the other ..... ah, forget it. I've actually stopped caring.;)

Sooo, how about that Governor Blagojevich?lol

JediTricks
01-09-2009, 07:25 PM
He enjoys peaches so much, he's been impeached. ;) And he has stupid hair. But he's not listening to your phone calls.

Tycho
01-09-2009, 10:52 PM
Jim Carrey is going to sue Blogiovich for stealing his hairstyle.

Didn't we see that in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective before the first Illinois governor's election?

bigbarada
01-10-2009, 12:03 AM
But he's not listening to your phone calls.

That we know of....

I'll be sure to say 'hi' to Vice President Cheney the next time I use my phone.:p

bobafrett
01-10-2009, 09:40 AM
Jim Carrey is going to sue Blogiovich for stealing his hairstyle.

Didn't we see that in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective before the first Illinois governor's election?

ROTFLMAO! :D lol Yep, he's joining a long list of disgraced Illinois Govenors. Look at the last yahoo we had in office, George Ryan, is now serving time in Prison. They should lock him up and throw away the key.

JediTricks
01-10-2009, 11:52 AM
That we know of....

I'll be sure to say 'hi' to Vice President Cheney the next time I use my phone.:p
If it's a voice over internet phone, he's listening. But from Verizon, no.

Blagojevich can only listen to Bobafrett's phone since he only has power over calls made from Illinois. ;)

bobafrett
01-10-2009, 12:29 PM
I think BigBarada lives here too, but he lives South of my place, So ol' Blago don't care what the BigB has to say.

bigbarada
01-10-2009, 12:34 PM
Tycho, it's not illegal for customer service lines to monitor your phone call to them if they tell you in advance that it's been recorded. I don't see what the issue is.

Tycho
01-10-2009, 05:56 PM
Angry today, BigB?

What I wanted to do first, was make a phone call without getting a sales pitch.

Then when I couldn't even do that, I wanted to vent by making a funny post about what I did to amuse myself since I didn't have much of a choice but to talk to "Mr. Cheney" at Verizon.

Subsequently, I'd like it if I made some people laugh.

Finally, I'd like to "liberally" re-define terrorist such that it includes employees at Verizon Wireless! :D

I would also like to be a talented singer in a rock 'n roll band, but that isn't going to happen.

sith_killer_99
01-10-2009, 06:13 PM
But he's not listening to your phone calls.

Wh..wh..WHAT?

Joe Biden was a member of the "United States Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on Terrorism, Technology and Homeland Security" for the 110th Congress, which was responsible for:


Jurisdiction: (1) Oversight of anti-terrorism enforcement and policy; (2) Oversight of Department of Homeland Security functions as they relate to anti-terrorism enforcement and policy; (3) Oversight of State Department consular operations as they relate to anti-terrorism enforcement and policy; (4) Oversight of laws related to government information policy, electronic privacy and security of computer information, Freedom of Information Act, and Privacy Act; (5) Oversight of encryption policies and export licensing; and (6) Oversight of espionage laws and their enforcement.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Senate_Judiciary_Subcommittee_on_Ter rorism,_Technology_and_Homeland_Security

WTF, over!!!

You can not be SERIOUS!

JediTricks
01-10-2009, 08:24 PM
[...] Tycho, it's not illegal for customer service lines to monitor your phone call to them if they tell you in advance that it's been recorded. I don't see what the issue is. [...]I can't believe how much of that post you crossed the line with and I had to delete. Don't do that again, you know the rules.



Wh..wh..WHAT?

Joe Biden was a member of the "United States Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on Terrorism, Technology and Homeland Security" for the 110th Congress, which was responsible for:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Senate_Judiciary_Subcommittee_on_Ter rorism,_Technology_and_Homeland_Security

WTF, over!!!

You can not be SERIOUS!That's so fascinating... what exactly does it have to do with Blagojevich and his dumb hair - the subject of my post which you quoted - though?

Tycho
01-10-2009, 08:28 PM
Blagojovich looks like Jim Carrey in Pet Detective.

Do you all agree or disagree with that?

For me, I can totally picture Blago coming out of a rhinosaurus' butt. :thumbsup:

bigbarada
01-10-2009, 08:32 PM
Angry today, BigB?

I was until I made that post, now I'm fine. :D


I can't believe how much of that post you crossed the line with and I had to delete. Don't do that again, you know the rules.


Understood, sorry about that. I do know the rules, so I have no excuse. I'll do my best to not let that happen again.

JediTricks
01-10-2009, 08:41 PM
Understood, sorry about that. I do know the rules, so I have no excuse. I'll do my best to not let that happen again.I appreciate that.


No, I don't think Blago's hair looks like Ace Ventura's, you need to watch that movie again. Blago's hair looks like a thick, luxurious head of hair that was then accidentally left in a steam room and sat upon for a long shvitz before realizing it was missing and slapping it back on.

bigbarada
01-10-2009, 08:48 PM
Kind of like a toupee that he accidentally glued to his forehead instead of his scalp.

sith_killer_99
01-10-2009, 09:01 PM
That's so fascinating... what exactly does it have to do with Blagojevich and his dumb hair - the subject of my post which you quoted - though?

Oooopps...all the back and forth over Cheney, Biden, and Blago, I guess I got confused.:yes::laugh::twisted:

At this point I would have thought this thread would have been moved, after all it did start out mentioning Dick Cheney.

I suspect everyone figured it wouldn't take long to get banished to the pit.:p

JediTricks
01-10-2009, 09:17 PM
"Rod Blagojevich doesn't care about black ink."

Just because we're mentioning public figures doesn't mean it has to go in the pit.