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Tycho
12-21-2009, 01:54 PM
Some of you fellows' posts made me angry and I need to express myself.

While I can understand doing a girl a favor and letting her set the decour for her own holiday / guest visitation plans, why would you otherwise let her control where your collection items go and where they can be displayed?

Even sharing implies that half of a home is yours to set up as you please.

Furthermore, I think that in the event you pay for most or all of the cost of the housing, especially if your girl moved in with you after you'd been in your present place, you get to decide what goes where.

Remember, that without your earnings, her standard of living would be quite different.

I am not married, and perhaps my post clearly illustrates why. All things considered, while I suffer loneliness often, I think I'm thankful for my position in life.

Marriage seems VERY dishonest to me. You're not showing the girl who you are while seducing / courting her. The toys are hidden in the closet, aren't they? Then when the newness of a relationship wears off - this could be 5 or even 10 years down the road, mind you - hiding who you really are, hiding a part of your personality - finally takes its toll on you. You finally realize how tired you are of it all.

Now I'm not living in disillusionment. If I ever make enough earnings, I may rent out a 2nd place and set it up all GQ and bring ladies "home" there. But I still have no intention of bringing in one to permanently (or for the long term) live with me, married or otherwise. However, I can embrace the illusion to a lady that I can be domesticated for their purposes (it really seems selfish of the girls' doesn't it? Do you see that at all?)

However, I would understand it being a different way if she pays most of the bills and is the primary breadwinner.

Also, if you're married to a lifelong best-friend (i.e. the girl next door you grew up with or your high school sweetheart you married some YEARS after high school) you might make some more compromises.

But if there are any of you like myself, single once out of college, and established on your own, why do you hide who you are and why don't you wear the man's pants in your own relationship?

Blue2th
12-21-2009, 03:13 PM
I agree with everything you say. Men may not like it but eventually their stuff will be either put away or relegated to the garage, the last sanctuary of the married man.
I believe in telling your prospective girlfriends that you collect things. Maybe not on the first date but soon.
What's best I think is to at least have one room dedicated to your collections. Have them set up and everything. I think it would actually impress someone to see dioramas set up with different scenes of Star Wars. It actually shows your creativity if you really do it up good and maybe make your own buildings for different scenes. If it's just haphazzard toys all over the place, than it looks like you are a compulsive collector who just has to have everything with no purpose.
She might actually like a tour through the museum of sorts, and an explanation of each set up with you as the guide. Then when you are done you can go back to the normal part of the house.

Why am I reminded of that line in that song by the Toadies "I'll show you my dark secret"


If she don't like it, well then she's not the one for you.
Don't try to fool yourself into changing for her and hide the things you love.
That's like being a "closet" Star Wars collector. Soon they will find out and you'll be exposed.

If you get married well just face the facts, that there's going to be knick knacks taking over all the space in the house. You'll have to make your last stand in the garage. If you loose the battle there then it's pretty much over.
Maybe get a Tough Shed and start all over.
In a relationship you may have to be able to give up a lot, but still you will need one place in the house or where you live that is the mancave or you will go mad I tell you, mad! :crazed:

Darth Metalmute
12-21-2009, 03:58 PM
why would you otherwise let her control where your collection items go and where they can be displayed?

I don't think there is a clean way to answer this question. But to put it simply, a happy wife is a happy life.

I had a mancave then lost it when I had my second child. Eventually, I will either, finish my basement, upgrade houses to one with another bedroom, or my children will move out. That means worst case, my collection will be in the storage room for 18 years.

jamesbondo07
12-21-2009, 04:38 PM
Maybe I am the exception to the rule here but my wife and I have shared the decorating of our house. She usually wants certain sections of the house to put up what she wants and I have certain sections of the house that I put up my Star Wars things. Last year we bought a entertainment center. I got to put up Star Wars on one side and she got the other side to decorate the way she wanted. I guess I never have had much issue with displaying want I want to. My wife however has always known even while we were dating about my star wars collecting and understood that I would want things displayed too when we got married. Maybe that is why she was always willing to let me decorate parts of the house. She has always known about my Star Wars collecting and I never tried to hide that fact.

bobafrett
12-21-2009, 05:05 PM
When I went from being a single man to having a girlfriend move in 4 months later, I had to make space for her to have a some space. I live in a small 2 bedroom house, and it was ideal for me and my son. My son had his room, and I had the rest of my house to decorate as I pleased. I was the sole rent payer, so my son could decorate his room, but everything else was my territory. I had stuff in my bedroom, stuff in my closet, stuff in my living room, stuff in my dining room, stuff in my kitchen, and pantry. I had a few things packed away in totes in the basement, but most of my collection was upstairs.

That changed when my, now wife, moved in. I suggested that she move in, as she was spending everynight here. I had to give her some space, but I didn't have any other place to put my collectibles except to pack some of it away. But I still have a major part of my collection still upstairs. I'd love to have a place large enough to have my own space to display all of my collection, but I have to wait until our youngest daughter graduates from high school before we consider moving to a town that isn't in the high rent area like the places we have around here are. I still have most of my bedroom collectibles up, same with the living room, and dining room. The kitchen and pantry I have handed over to my wife, I mean she does cook, so I no longer have the excuse that I eat out all the time.

El Chuxter
12-21-2009, 06:55 PM
The technical term begins with the letter 'V.' A few slang terms start with 'P,' but there are an awful lot of slang terms.

Obsession is Nute
12-21-2009, 06:56 PM
I am so glad someone posted on this. Very interesting posts.

I am in absolute agreement with you on this Tycho!

It is difficult to generalize, though as so many variables impact the nature of how your collection/collecting affects your life/home/relationship.

Personally, I think that guys that "hide" their collecting from a GF are pretty much asking for trouble down the road. If you can't be honest in a relationship, then it is probably not a healthy relationship. Now I know, SW collecting is not a turn on for 99% of women, but I am not interested in those women, their are plenty of generic, boring Joe Nobodies out there they can marry.

For me, collecting is important part of who I am and I am not willing to hide it or "move on" ever.

In many cases, it probably comes down to your home and how you view your place within it and how much room you have to work with. Couples with a 5 bedroom home are probably going to have less conflict over space management than a couple in a one or two bedroom apartment.

I like to compartmentalize, so I would prefer to have my collection take up a room, maybe a side room in the basement, where I can decorate it and display things as I see fit. The lady of the house can do whatever she wishes with all the other rooms, but I would like to have "my space". I think as long as I have that, I will be happy. I don't see that as unreasonable so long as there is there space to allow it. For those of you that like to spread your collection out, you are probably going to have to make a number of concessions, sorry.

The nature of a relationship is probably going to determine a great deal, as well. Gentleman (and lady collectors), if you are willing to be a doormat to your mate regardless of the issue, you are probably going to be treated like one. The whole point of compromise and equity is that both parties give and take. If your collection is important to you, then you need to stand up and try and make the situation work so you are both happy. I think too often society encourages men to just conceede in order to keep the peace and I don't think that promotes healthy relationships.

I won't comment on how kids change things, I hear having them changes you. As such, I can't specualte on what I would or wouldn't do to accomodate my kids.

El Chuxter
12-21-2009, 08:38 PM
Seriously, and not trying to over-generalize, guys are less concerned with appearances when company's over. As long as the place is as clean as the dude feels comfortable letting other people see, it's all good. Women seem to want more of the appearance of the stereotypical happy home, with no neuroses like toy collecting on display for everyone. And women tend to entertain more (okay, about the same, but men see it as "a couple of people coming by," and women make a bigger deal and plan things in advance and down to the last detail).

morpheus282
12-21-2009, 08:58 PM
I've never "hidden" my collection from anyone. I have kept things mostly relegated to a single room, but that's just due to keeping things organized. Even when I was single I tried to keep everything in one room for the most part. The exceptions were always my 12" scale dewback and the Hasbro AT-AT which were always on my bookshelf. My wife is a stay at home mother, so I feel that since she spends most of her time in the house she should feel comfortable in the majority of it. I've got my office/kid's playroom in the basement, and it's big enough for most everything I want to have out at one time (mostly). I need at least one more set of shelves, but that's another story. While I might occasionally put something 'out of place' in the living room just to irk her, she doesn't complain about my hobby or get miffed when I plunk down $40 on an AT-ST or $30 on a dewback. She doesn't understand it, but she doesn't complain.

It was also her idea to hang the picture of me, my daughter, and David Prowse in the living room. :D

bigbarada
12-21-2009, 09:18 PM
The technical term begins with the letter 'V.' A few slang terms start with 'P,' but there are an awful lot of slang terms.

/end thread

:D

Mad Slanted Powers
12-21-2009, 09:32 PM
Seriously, and not trying to over-generalize, guys are less concerned with appearances when company's over. As long as the place is as clean as the dude feels comfortable letting other people see, it's all good. Women seem to want more of the appearance of the stereotypical happy home, with no neuroses like toy collecting on display for everyone. And women tend to entertain more (okay, about the same, but men see it as "a couple of people coming by," and women make a bigger deal and plan things in advance and down to the last detail).
I concur with this. My mom is always trying to tell me that I shouldn't have the Star Wars stuff in my living room. She also thinks I should keep the bedroom Star Wars-free and not let it get cluttered up with it like the other rooms have. At this point, the bedroom is free of Star Wars stuff, though I used to have my Lego X-Wing in there. The living room has some Titaniums on top of a book case. I also have this lamp with shelves below it. One shelf has an Unleashed Aayla Secura, the middle shelf a Lara Croft figure, and the bottom shelf an interactive Yoda. I also have some large vehicles on the floor (AT-TE, Imperial Shuttle, Republic Gunship) since I don't have room for them anywhere else. I would like to get those out of there because they are kind of in the way.

At this point, there wouldn't be room for another person in my house. My second bedroom is filled with my Star Wars collection. The den has my computer desk, more Star Wars, books and CD's. The house is not that small. It's just that it seems that a lot of space is in the living/dining area, and not much is occupying that area. So, if I wanted to live with a woman, we'd need to find a new place.

Darth Metalmute
12-22-2009, 03:55 PM
The technical term begins with the letter 'V.' A few slang terms start with 'P,' but there are an awful lot of slang terms.

Pretty much what I was getting at.


Seriously, and not trying to over-generalize, guys are less concerned with appearances when company's over. As long as the place is as clean as the dude feels comfortable letting other people see, it's all good. Women seem to want more of the appearance of the stereotypical happy home, with no neuroses like toy collecting on display for everyone. And women tend to entertain more (okay, about the same, but men see it as "a couple of people coming by," and women make a bigger deal and plan things in advance and down to the last detail).

Exactly. A guys idea of decorating is showcasing Sports or collection memorabilia. And to other guys, a signed John Elway football or an authentic Vader mask is cool. But for a woman, decorating has to have coordination. A County themed Living room is no place for a life size Stormtrooper and a contemporary Kitchen should not have an autographed Nolan Ryan baseball.

My wife knew I was a collector before we dated and still went ahead and dated me. Half of our dates involved stops at Toys R Us. But she thinks collecting is stupid and a waste of space and money. She's intitled to her opinion and doesn't try to stop my collecting. But until we have more room, the storage room has my collection.

bobafrett
12-22-2009, 06:48 PM
When I had my father over here last June, it was the first time I think he had seen my place since around 1994. Back then my collection was rather small, but we all know what started coming out in 1995, and thus my collection started growing, and growing. My father is not a fan of Star Wars, and I saw him look at my collection, and I'm sure his mind was saying "He could have invested this money instead". I wasn't embarrased about being a collector, nor a fan of Star Wars, it has served me well. It is part of who I am, and I sometimes wonder what I would have been like had there never been a Star Wars movie, a George Lucas, but I can't imagine not having this escape world to go to, nor having as much fun and enjoyment as I have had over these past 32 years.

darthbooger
12-22-2009, 09:10 PM
This reply is kinda off thread but kinda not, but who cares its Christmas? I have a mother in- law who in my opinion would never accept my Star Wars collection even if I were to put it in a cave somwhere in the Tora Bora region of Afghanistan. So, to avoid the usual degrading comments during the beasts holiday visit, my wife begged me to take all the Star Wars related items out of the living room and replace them with something more acceptable for Christmas. So this is what I did...
1) I dressed all 25 of my Sideshow 12 inch zombies in Christmas attire and placed them all over the entertainment center.
2) I wrapped my 6ft clown from the movie "IT" in lights and replaced the Christmas tree
3) I hung stockings with detached bloody limbs inside them along the stairwell
4) I dug out the giant moose head with the missing eye, hung it and put a "Merry Christmas" banner through its antlers
So ...maybe now after the holiday season is over my favorite in-law will be just as unheard from as that other person in the Tora Bora region ...man.. what a Christmas gift that would be.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all the wonderful nerds like me here at SirSteves!! :crazed:

Mad Slanted Powers
12-22-2009, 09:24 PM
This reply is kinda off thread but kinda not, but who cares its Christmas? I have a mother in- law who in my opinion would never accept my Star Wars collection even if I were to put it in a cave somwhere in the Tora Bora region of Afghanistan. So, to avoid the usual degrading comments during the beasts holiday visit, my wife begged me to take all the Star Wars related items out of the living room and replace them with something more acceptable for Christmas. So this is what I did...
1) I dressed all 25 of my Sideshow 12 inch zombies in Christmas attire and placed them all over the entertainment center.
2) I wrapped my 6ft clown from the movie "IT" in lights and replaced the Christmas tree
3) I hung stockings with detached bloody limbs inside them along the stairwell
4) I dug out the giant moose head with the missing eye, hung it and put a "Merry Christmas" banner through its antlers
So ...maybe now after the holiday season is over my favorite in-law will be just as unheard from as that other person in the Tora Bora region ...man.. what a Christmas gift that would be.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all the wonderful nerds like me here at SirSteves!! :crazed:After seeing that display, the Star Wars figures won't look so bad, will they?

elvandrik
12-22-2009, 10:41 PM
But if there are any of you like myself, single once out of college, and established on your own, why do you hide who you are and why don't you wear the man's pants in your own relationship?

If you like getting laid at least once every decade my recomendation is to not have your figures displayed in any of the traditional love-making areas of the house. It creeps women out.

Also, if she had a Barbie fetish and decided to decorate your house in nothing but pink and her Barbie stuff was your primary decor, would you like it? I think not, and that is the same reason that women don't like Star Wars stuff displayed in the common areas of the house. I'm a big collector of Star Wars figures, but if I walked in to someones house and I saw that they had figures and memorabilia in their living room, I'd think they were a bit of loser. Its your right to decorate your house any way you want, but just dont expect the rest of the world (particularly females) to share your taste.

On the other hand, we should all have the right to a man cave and women should not complain about it.

elvandrik
12-22-2009, 10:53 PM
[quote=Obsession is Nute;710536]If your collection is important to you, then you need to stand up and try and make the situation work so you are both happy. I think too often society encourages men to just conceede in order to keep the peace and I don't think that promotes healthy relationships.
quote]

If at any point you find yourself deciding between displaying your collection and maintaining a happy marriage, you may want to consider how you are going to make love to your collection once your wife leaves you.

This thread would make a great episode for the Jerry Springer show. It oozes disfunction.

Tycho
12-22-2009, 11:25 PM
My father is not a fan of Star Wars, and I saw him look at my collection, and I'm sure his mind was saying "He could have invested this money instead".

I wish it was this easy, but when I worked as a financial planner, after paying bills (reg bills, and just a reasonable amount for debt paydown), I was taught to also determine a set amount for saving / investing first (perhaps a percentage if a dollar value doesn't always work out exactly) and then determine discretionary spending, breaking it down for a variety of things like going out and dating, besides collecting toys. As it is doing for me (as my goal is earning my way into home ownership to display my collection), my collecting is also encouraging me to earn more, and get back into the workforce following my recovery from my kidney transplant.


I wasn't embarrased about being a collector, nor a fan of Star Wars, it has served me well. It is part of who I am, and I sometimes wonder what I would have been like had there never been a Star Wars movie, a George Lucas, but I can't imagine not having this escape world to go to, nor having as much fun and enjoyment as I have had over these past 32 years.

And I might be dead. I never got into Star Wars 32 years ago because I thought "Kenner" would have a mail-away for a non-rocket firing kidney transplant, but there sure was one! As of 2005, I didn't figure I'd need one. I met many of you at Celebration 3 and Comic Con that year, before I had my brain aneurysm. While I've really enjoyed all the friendships this hobby has fostered - probably about half of them formed right here on this site (and yes, I've met a lot of people in person), I was not expecting someone to become my live organ-donor, especially when I didn't even know I'd have the need for one! It's been amazing. And yup: BobaFrett and I are on page 74 of this month's Star Wars Insider available at Border's and Barnes and Nobel everywhere.

I'm about to agree with Elvandrik, but I have my own slant on his angle.


If you like getting laid at least once every decade my recomendation is to not have your figures displayed in any of the traditional love-making areas of the house. It creeps women out.

And as I also inherited from my parents, my father having died from this hereditary kidney affliction, it helps you get women when they think they can marry you for a lot of money. (Ask Tiger Woods for a candid answer about this, off the record of course.) If the girls think you're loaded, some of them will even dress like Slave Leia and get the party going with you as the 14" Chewbacca looks on from his spot on your nightstand. :D

That being said, there are actually no Star Wars toys on display in my bedroom, but when I move into my dream home someday, I plan to have them there - but probably my Hoth and Cloud City displays. I used to have it set up that way in my old place and I didn't have issues with ladies and the dioramas. Like I said, they wanted something else from me and you already can guess what I wanted from them. It would be nice to find a great personality that comes with a girl, who will love my creative side and embrace my enthusiasm for creating these great displays - mabye even help me do it. However, a girl's personality is not the first motivator for most cases of why a dude becomes interested in a lady. The honest TRUTH is that it is not. You can like a lady for her personality, but you (as a guy) are biologically made to react to the most attractive girl in the room. I will react and act on that, not tying myself down to restraining my behavior, nor paying "Tiger Woods' alimoney fees," either.

A man who has resources will get compliance out of many ladies, and in the last resort, he only needs a call-girl, a maid, and a nurse. This could be 3 different ladies, or any other combination of versatile ones as might be required. Some would also suggest a cook, but I don't have to make boring conversations with my microwave. Meanwhile, any better combination of services with a winning personality is a keeper in a good girl. But by keeper, even that is temporary. Britney Spears replaced Madonna, and now Britney is being replaced by Ashley Tisdale, who will be replaced by Miley Cyrus - and it always marches on. Freedom is being able to march on too, with your money. In the best case, you leave your old friendships intact, albeit less intimate.

As for a moral position on this? How moral is it to be a married adulterer? How fair is it for you to remain "pious" while tempted by other girls, but the hard-to-win wifey wasn't and put you through the gauntlet to win her? The Tiger / Elin story is not all out. Perhaps Elin deserved this? I dare say that perhaps Elizabeth Edwards (who is passing from cancer) did not earn former Presidential candidate John Edwards' loyalty due to things in their past. I won't pass judgement on John or Tiger without knowing the full story - and it's none of my business anyway. I just can tell you that I haven't yet had a girl earn my loyalty. But I actually have this pain-in-the-neck romantic nature burried deep down where I hope the situation might become otherwise.

Meanwhile, it would be disrespectful to me for a girl to want to become invited to stay in my home that I will earn, and regulate how I decorate it.

As it begins where I want to use her, I expect nothing more than she wants to use me. As a matter of fact, I'm sure Elin wanted to use Tiger. :yes: So I'll just make it so tempting to want to use me (so I get what I want) that she will suddenly like "Chewbacca in the bedroom" conveniently, too. :D

Unfortunately, I don't expect much better.


Also, if she had a Barbie fetish and decided to decorate your house in nothing but pink and her Barbie stuff was your primary decor, would you like it? I think not, and that is the same reason that women don't like Star Wars stuff displayed in the common areas of the house.

Very good point. However, it assumes that it is "her house" too. As I don't (think I) have a girlfriend, I'm pursuing my goal of obtaining my dream home on my own, without any help. Thus if there's this pretty girl that can't afford to buy her own home, live without roommates contributing to the household income, or is actually attracted to me and interested in me "in the wild" (before she knows I have a Star Wars home) she'll allow me my "failing." It's worked out alright for me thus far.


I'm a big collector of Star Wars figures, but if I walked in to someones house and I saw that they had figures and memorabilia in their living room, I'd think they were a bit of loser.

I'd imagine this is only because of the stereotypical collector-nut-fanboy out there. I wonder what you'd think if you met me on the baseball diamond first, and then were invited over? - especially since we share an interest in Star Wars anyway.


On the other hand, we should all have the right to a man cave and women should not complain about it.

I support the Men's Rights Movement with Liberty and Man-Caves for all! :yes:

darthbooger
12-22-2009, 11:34 PM
I love my wife and we have a marriage that she finds functional and thats the part that counts. I havent been "laid" since college but our marriage doesnt suffer any lack of what mature people refer to as lovemaking. I remember a time when I was young, pompous and thought I could give advice as worthless as Dr. Phils, but I grew older and realized that common sense concerning marriage came with years of being in one , not a degree.

LusiferSam
12-22-2009, 11:35 PM
Not currently I'm not married or even seeing anybody, so these comments are made from that point of view. Nobody and I mean nobody tells me what to do with my stuff. I've nearly to blows with some family members over some financial "advise." My dad's friends and a few of my married friends like to point out that attitude will change once I settle down. Maybe, but I doubt it. My mom and I are both known for being iron willed and a long with my sister highly persistent. I've only met one girl who could come close to breaking my will. I doubt I'll meet anybody like her again, but who knows.

I currently have one room I display stuff in. That's the basement (yes it's finished). It's my for my Lego collection. I have a set space for sets. As new sets I switch them out for the old. Most of my SW stuff is put away. I have few items in my bedroom and else where, but it highly limit. Why do I do this? It's not like I'm hiding it. Most of my friends get told about the Lego collection long before the come over and most know I my a SW fan.

I first off don't want to feel like I'm living in a toy store. If I had all of my stuff out on display I would feel like it was a giant toy store. Second, I don't really have a good place for much of a display. Most of the house has too much direct sunlight for the my vintage stuff and the basement is used up by the Lego collect. Third, I'm happy with how things are. Maybe someday when I get a different place I set things up differently, but currently things are good.

If wife/girlfriend can't work in with my frame work and accept me for who I am, we won't last.

2-1B
12-23-2009, 01:36 AM
The technical term begins with the letter 'V.' A few slang terms start with 'P,' but there are an awful lot of slang terms.

Vintage?

Palitoy?

I prefer Kenner.

Darth Metalmute
12-23-2009, 08:37 AM
The only "decoration" that I keep out is my three foot tall alien (my avitar). I gave him a name and a back story. My wife has an old fashion rocking chair that she and her grandfather refurbished. I call it my gaming chair because its so comfortable. It's very stylish and classy, and sits in our living room, and when I'm not playing games from it, it is my alien's throne. She fought and fought to have the alien removed, but everytime she would move it, I would put it right back. She finally gave up. However when she "entertains", the alien goes into the bedroom for the night. But it usually doesn't stay there because everyone who comes over wants to see it.

dindae
12-23-2009, 01:53 PM
If at any point you find yourself deciding between displaying your collection and maintaining a happy marriage, you may want to consider how you are going to make love to your collection once your wife leaves you.

First off if your marraige falls apart solely on basis of your collection then it probably isn't that much of a marriage. That being said if you find someone that you love enough to marry I would hope you would not let toys come between you. It's all a matter of priorities. If your collection being on display is that big of a priority to you then you have to get that out there quickly, because there is a tradition that the women are the homemakers and the decor and cleanliness reflects on them. I think this is an outdated concept but it is still there.

As far as Tycho's whoever makes the money or owns the house makes the rules method I think that is complete crap. If you want a happy relationship both people need to have a voice in decisions. There will be many decisions that money will be a determining factor like if you need to move to get a promotion or not because how much or little your spouse makes. But dictating how the house is decorated because you make more money is just like saying your opinion does matter. It is obvious by reading the thread which guys are/have been in long term relationships and which ones haven't.

morpheus282
12-23-2009, 02:30 PM
First off if your marraige falls apart solely on basis of your collection then it probably isn't that much of a marriage. That being said if you find someone that you love enough to marry I would hope you would not let toys come between you. It's all a matter of priorities.

That's the best statement I've heard yet in this thread. I've seen marriages break up over things far more trivial than toys all because priorities weren't the same for everyone. If for some reason I had no other choice than to sell my entire collection in order to provide for my family, you'd see a listing on eBay begging for bids. My wife and kids are more important to me than arguing over having an AT-AT in the living room. On the other side of the coin, my wife doesn't care how many toys I have on display or how I want to display them as long as the man cave doesn't look like a hurricane hit it. She also doesn't care how much I spend a month as long as the bills are paid.

Like you said, priorities.

Bel-Cam Jos
12-23-2009, 05:57 PM
Not being married doesn't mean I can't contribute to this thread, right? :rolleyes: Control is about who wants to take it, and who's willing to release it. Many men are able to realize that digging in one's heels and not budging on ANY issue (reagrdless of collectibles, et al) with their spouse is often a bad idea. Compromise, without the negative connotations, is the key. You give, you get. And having little children (who, by some unknown and unforseen wonder of life, become big children) makes a huge difference, too.

BTW, Chux's two letters refer to "verb" and "pronoun," 2-1B.

LusiferSam
12-23-2009, 08:03 PM
Compromise, without the negative connotations, is the key.

See I totally agree there. Being iron willed doesn't mean I don't have ears. I am almost always will listen to another point of view and look for a compromise. What I can't stand is being ordered around. Being ordered to do something very different from being asked. Very rarely do I see compromising as a negative. We all make compromises, big and small, every day. I also agree that if your marriage falls apart over your collecting habits it wasn't much of a marriage.

Tycho
12-24-2009, 05:23 AM
Those of us who are single have to consider whether we will stay as such because we have a collection displayed.

However, I barely have any of my stuff in my current place.

The Royal Starship (with figures occupying it) and the BMF are on my coffee table. The Royal Starship is probably there just temporarily - like maybe be next spring I'll get tired of looking at it and return it to storage. But I'm really glad it is here right now - looks cool to me. Also I have a tall glass display case with 5 levels displaying my Transformers in it. Eventually this will be used for 12" Star Wars figures, but not while I'm at this residence, most likely.

Other toys are out of site in my guest bedroom for which the door is usually shut since I don't want my cats in there too often.

Now as I said before, I don't want to have a girlfriend move in and even start having to consider compromises. But as long as I have someone to date for a while, I'm happy. If she learns she won't ever be invited to move in, and then decides to move on instead, I'll go back to being lonely and pursue finding a new girl. The marriage situation is not what I'm looking for.

(I say that with a caviat such that if I really flip for "the right girl," and I have that great relationship others say they've found, then maybe I'll sing a different song. I just have my doubts that will happen.)

My status is that I go out with 3 different girls at this particular moment, and 2 are working extra shifts (supposedly) and I'm not seeing them, so I wouldn't call either my girlfriend, but both have seen my Star Wars collection and have been around for almost a year in one case, and a lot longer in the other. The third girl is new, but I have been the friend of one of her girl friends for many years, and she knows about my collection and has seen some of it now. It's not an issue that I know of. Any one of these relationships could get better and more involved for me any time. However, in not one case am I going to say "well you should move in." So a girl spends the night and she keeps some personal items here? I like that. I don't want it to go any further than that, so I'm sure one day, none of them will be around. That's OK, too. I'm really liking several new girls I just met.