View Full Version : darth vader

03-12-2002, 11:00 AM
Im writing a short childrens story about darth vader. Im looking for any questions a child would like to ask darth vader, if they had the chance.If anyone could help me with this information it would be much appreciated.Thanks

03-12-2002, 03:40 PM
Why do you breath so loud?
What are those lights on your stomach for?
Why are you so mean?

Bel-Cam Jos
03-12-2002, 06:35 PM
If I were a kid, I'd ask:

What do you eat?
Does it itch a lot inside your suit?
What costume would you wear for Halloween?
How tall are you?

03-12-2002, 07:57 PM

"how many people have you killed"

"have you seen the emperor naked, and if so, does he look like mr. burns?"

"have you ever force choked a chicken?"

"do you think O.J. was guilty?"

"did you kill your wife?"

"why did you cut your son's hand off?"

"in retrospect, do you feel hitler deserves the title of the most evil man ever, seeing he never destroyed a whole planet?"

"what happens if you fart?"

03-12-2002, 10:48 PM
"Why don't you take your helmet off?"

"Why do you wear black?"

"Why is your lightsaber red?"

"Do you close your eyes and fall asleep when people are talking to you?"

"Have you ever used the force to change the TV channel?"

03-12-2002, 10:56 PM
I'll ask my kids tomorrow when they wake up.

Rollo Tomassi
03-12-2002, 11:24 PM
What response do you have for skeptics who see lightsabers as nothing more than a giant phallic symbols?

A two part question: Did you feel restricted by having to use the Darth title in keeping with Sithdom continuity? And what was the impetus for choosing the moniker Vader?

If you were indeed the second most powerful being in the Empire, why, in Episode IV, were you taking orders from Tarkin like a little bitc....ooooh..Next question.

Why is your helmet shaped that way? Is there some ergonomic value or is purely aesthetic?

Why black? Why not red or dayglo orange?

Was production of the TIE-advance series of fighters discontinued based on your recomendation after the battle of Yavin? What events led to this restructuring of the line?

Do you Tae-bo?

When confronting a rogue Jedi, have you ever had one randomly smack a bunch of buttons on your chest and then run like hell after you hit the ground like a sack of meat, gasping for air like a fish out of water?

Where's Waldo?

Did you recognize 3PO on Chewbacca's back and prevent the Bounty Hunter from frying them both for some archaic sentimental reason?

What can brown do for you?

What the heck were you thinking jumping out of that speeder SEVERAL MILES UP on Coruscant when you were chasing Zam Wesell?

"Yipee"? "Whoo hoo"? Seriously. Who talks that way?

03-12-2002, 11:26 PM
Got milk?

(insert non-existant photo of Vader with milk mustache here)

03-13-2002, 03:21 AM
How much wood, would a wood-chuck..etc?

Jerry SPringer - my family hate my cybernetic guts - dicuss?

How long does it take you to go to the bathroom?

Do you like Britney for her music?

Why do all your male friends wear dresses?

Ponytails - are they eighties. or what?

Are the vision holes on your visor prescription?

03-13-2002, 08:33 AM
Is your suit heavy?

Can I try your light stick?

How do you eat?

Is it hot in there?

Do you play?

How old are you?

Can I sit in the big chair?

I'll never grow up! :cool:

Rollo Tomassi
03-13-2002, 02:14 PM
Toad#1. I breath loud because of the respirator/voice amplifier in my helmet which makes my voice and my breathing seem louder than they really are.
Toad#2. The lights on my stomach (actually my chest) is part of the monitoring system that lets me know if there are any problems with my suit that helps keep me alive.
Toad#3. I am mean because a long time ago people who were very close to me betrayed me freindship and trust and I fell into a molten lava and almost died. The only way to keep myself alive now is to use the Dark Side of the force (and my suit). I have to use all my anger to channel the Dark Side into keeping me alive. If I was happy, the Dark Side would go away and I would die. So I have to be mean.

BCJ#1. I can't eat the way regular people eat. I have to have a special food pumped into me through tubes. Sometimes I pretend to sit down and eat when other people are at the table to make them feel better, but I can never take off my helmet to put food in my mouth or I'll die.
BCJ#2. Yes sometimes it itches quite a bit. But that makes me mad, and then I can use that anger for the Dark Side, which, like I told Toad, helps me stay alive.
BCJ#4. Seven feet, two inches with my armor on,(which is ALWAYS on).

Derek#1. A lot.
Derek#2. No. And I don't know. The Emperor is a very private person and doesn't tell me alot of things.
Derek#3. What's a chicken? If that's a masturbatorial joke, then no. That sort of thing doesn't interest me anymore.
Derek#4. Of course he was guilty. Judge Ito didn't allow DNA tests as evidence, even though they conclusively proved O.J. was present at the scene of the crime.
Derek#5. Obi Wan killed my wife.
Derek#6. I cut Luke's hand off, because I didn't want to kill him like the Emperor insisted, but I also didn't want him to hurt me anymore, so I removed his lightsaber from the equasion. It just happened to be in his hand at the time.
Derek#7. Hitler was an evil, evil man and definitely deserves the title.
Derek#8.My well maintained diet of a nutrient paste virtually guarantees that I will never have an upset tummy as you suggest, but in the unlikely event that I fart, my life support suit had a system that flushes the offending odor from within.

SithDroid#1. If I take my helmet off anywhere besides my specially designed meditation chamers, I won't be able to breath for more than a few seconds and I wil die.
SithDroid#2. I wear black because it has a distinct psychological affect on my enemies.
SithDroid#3. The use of a red bladed lightsaber is a Sith traditoin passed down from Darth Bane. It occurs because Sith apprentices are required to create the jewel in the blade artificially rather than using naturally found ones. It is a very painful process that tests the apprentices resolve by sitting in front of an impossibly hot kiln for several days without food or water while the jewel forms in its fiery heart.
SithDroid#4 It is very difficult for me to fall asleep because I am in constant pain. I don't really sleep the way normal people do. It's more of a meditative state. So the answer is no.
SithDroid#5. On occasion. What's the point of having the force if you don't use it?

Stillakid#1. All right. I eagerly await their questions.

Rollo. I wish you would take this Q&A more seriously. Others might take a cue from you and this will spiral into a silly comic routine.

(sigh) See what I mean?

Stillakid#2. If the American Dairy Association offered me a chance to be in their campaign, I would greatfully accept. Strong teeth and bones are important to a healthy life.

Gibbs#1. It depends on the Woodchuck.
Gibbs#2. Since I have no family, this line of questioning is irrelevant. Anakin Skywalker had family, but that name no longer has any meaning for me.
Gibbs#3. As I've stated above, my life support suit handles these kinds of "problems" automatically, so the answer is no time at all.
Gibbs#4. I respect Britney for her hardwork and dedication in achieving her goals. Her music doesn't strike me as particularly good, but that is simply a matter of my own personal preference.
Gibbs#5. I don't have any friends, so that question is also irrelevant. If you are referring to the Emperor and the Royal Guards, the former is a matter of his personal comfort and the latter is a matter of tradition dating back the Senatorial Guards of the Old Republic.
Gibbs#6. Definitely.
Gibbs#7. The visor in my helmet does have some blindspots, but I can compensate by using the force which comes naturally to me, so I don't really notice.

LTBasker#1. Yes. It weighs over 70 kilograms. That's roughly 150 lbs. But it keeps me alive, so I am hardly in the position to complain.
LTBasker#2. No you may not.
LTBasker#3. See above.
LTBasker#4. Yes, it is extremly uncomfortable. But as I already stated to both Toad and BelCam Jos, I use that negative energy to my advantage.
LTBasker#5. Not since I was three years old.
LTBasker#6. If continuity is to be believed, I was 43 years old when my son Luke rescued me from the Dark Side. But it's a relative term when you are talking about the rotational equinox of several thousand different worlds. On one planet, I wasn't even a year old, on others, I was well over a thousand years. Let's just say, I'm older than you.
LTBasker#7. If you want. Just don't let the Emperor catch you.

03-13-2002, 02:21 PM
A great wealth of Darth Vader information can be found at the following link. http://www.theforce.net/swtc/injuries.html I just have to plug it just for the cool information about not just Darth Vader but other technical commentaries about the OT and the Prequels.


Jar Jar Binks

Rollo Tomassi
03-13-2002, 02:34 PM
Oh all right. I recant and will answer Rollo's questions, seeing as how he's letting me use his username.

Rollo#1. If I may paraphrase Freud, 'Sometimes a lightsaber is just a lightsaber."

Rollo#2. I've never really thought about it. It came to choose my name, and I went with what "felt" right.

Rollo#3. I don't see that at all. Tarkin was a very powerful man in the Imperial hierarchy, but I never took orders from him, just as he never took orders from me.

Rollo#4. Purely aesthetic.

Rollo#5. See above.

Rollo#6. Actaully the TIE advance performed very admirably for me at the battle of Yavin. All but one of the onscreen kills were made by me and my craft. It survived a direct collision with another ship and allowed me to survive in deep space for several days. The problem with the advance series was it's prohibitive cost. We simply couldn't afford to crank them out in great numbers.

Rollo#7. No. Nor do I yahoo.

Rollo#8. That has never happened, but I assure you if it did, the person responsible would not be long for this world.

Rollo#9. It depends on the page. Although I read that they are writing the screenplay for a live action film. Talk about scraping the barrel...

Rollo#10. I was preventing a chaotic situation from becoming moreso by introducing blasterfire into the mix. Remember, my ultimate goal was the capture of Skywalker, not anything to do with Solo, the princess, or the Wookiee and his droid. It was merely a matter of killing the wookiee would have upset my timetable concerning the appraoching X-Wing. 3PO?

Rollo#11. Recently, it has brought me several overnight packages. I am thoroughly pleased with the service I recieve from UPS.

Rollo#12. You'll have to wait until May 16th to find out. I assure you there was a method to my madness.

Rollo#13. That's not funny, making fun of way somebody talks....this interview is OVER.:mad:

Eternal Padawan
05-30-2002, 10:32 AM
Crack me up, this is funny.