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View Full Version : Now Tycho is discovered to actually be a CLONE!



Tycho
03-27-2002, 04:10 AM
In light of my recent suspicions that practically everyone in the Star Wars universe is a Clone, [well, Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, Cos Palpatine, Boba Fett, etc...] I have to post this in my defense:

I WAS CLONED!!!

My Clone is probably a schizophrenic, multiple personality masterminding these theories from my firery, restless mind, deep in the bowels of Insanity (in the dark pit that's my Hell).

He has evolved to be the perfect Clone of myself, and THAT CLONE masquerades as me on this website. Nothing can be traced to him as he logs on with all of my passcodes, etc.

While the Clone encourages all of you to believe he has control over his mental faculties, Rollo Tomassi, a really intelligent and thoughtful forum member is spinning in his head trying to figure out where all these crazy theories are coming from - and that same guy goades Jedi Clint into trying to make sense of all this! - he informed Jedi Tricks that SirSteve has actually been Cloned and his cooperation with Hasbro during Toy Fair was all brought about against the real Web Master's Will. (While the real SirSteve is actually being held hostage at Skywalker Ranch with other prisoners of war like Oliver Stone).

The other Forum users won't believe Tycho about this terrible Cloning theory, or they will feel that just because Jedi Tricks is here, that HE too hasn't been secretly cloned and will be found to be a Hasbro employee in reality! But it gets deeper than that. Rollo Tomassi isn't who he appears to be either.

I think that Rollo is in fact, George Lucas, and he has been secretly testing his story lines here in our forums while Steve is his prisoner and cannot prevent it.

Meanwhile, Jedi Clint will feed everyone's ego and insist that we have good theories and a good handle on the plot, but the fact that he acts so nice and mature in these forums should be the biggest hint that he has been hiding behind a disguise. Who's personality is completely opposite of that of Jedi Clint's? Ah-hah! Rick McCallum! That's right! These forums have been secretly surplanted!

But why didn't Lucasfilm take care of me, the real Tycho? I think that Stillakid is a Lucasfilm agent sent here to drive my mind into catatonic shock so that my Clone can take over. His criticism of the prequels is merely a disguise!

And once all the conspirators are finally entrenched in power, it will be revealed that Emperor Jargo and JarJar Binks are actually the same person! Lt Basker is their clone!

It all is making sense now!

We must hurry before the powers in charge see this post. It's my Clone that actually has moderator control!

We all must charge Skywalker Ranch and Free SirSteve! Sort of like Freeing Willy! But the truth must be exposed!

- just like fun must be had - and I cannot take myself so seriously!




:D

Lord Malakite
03-27-2002, 09:19 AM
Maybe now would be a good time stop sniffing your mouse droid. Its making you go crazy. :crazed:

Dryanta
03-27-2002, 11:34 AM
now that's funny!!LOL
Empoer jargo and Jar Jar Binks the same person.LoL
And you really should lay off the mouse droid.:crazed:

Rollo Tomassi
03-27-2002, 02:09 PM
Damn. He's right. I am George Lucas. You're disarming tirade has tricked me into revealing myself. Well, the jig is up. I can no longer fool all of you with my subterfuge, so I may as well answer all your theories.

It's a bit more complicated than cloning, but there IS a genetic connection between Han Solo and Boba Fett. It won't be brought up in the movie, though. (not DIRECTLY anyway...;) )

There is NO Palpatine/Sidious clone. The man is powerful enough to shield his force abilities from even Yoda. They are the same person.

Qui Gon is NOT Anakin's father.

Dooku is NOT Anakin's father.

Palpatine is NOT Anakin's father.

Anakin's paternal lineage will NOT be discussed further in the movies. You may believe he is immaculate or not. But it's a non issue. The EU WILL delve into Shmi's past however, so you will learn of the origins of the Skywalker name and Anakin's maternal grandparents, as well as where the TUSKEN Raiders get their moniker...

Anything else?;)

Jedi Clint
03-27-2002, 03:08 PM
Cool! I am the opposite of Rick McCallum!!

"Rollo" you are soo right, you are such a genius. These little f***s on these message boards should never question your f***ing genius. Greedo shooting first was absolutely brilliant!! :rolleyes: *continues humming N'Snyc song*

Just for the record, I do NOT kiss "Rollo's" bottom! He needs to wash with a warm soapy cloth!

I know one thing for sure. Whichever Tycho started this topic should seriously consider putting the crack pipe down...........for good this time! :crazed:

Tycho
03-27-2002, 03:52 PM
Uhh, that was a Mouse Droid, Jedi Clint ;)

Beast
03-28-2002, 03:28 AM
Ok, It's true...I am Emporer Jargo. This whole time I have been manipulating the forums from behind the scenes. Taking the "I love the E2 Figures" stance with my Jar Jar Persona, while my Emporer Jargo persona has been working the other side of the coin. Soon we will have the names of all that stand against us, and we will destroy you all.

No, wait that doesn't fit facts. Actually Emporer Jargo is a clone of myself. It's obvious from my recent absense from the forums that I needed to take time off and set my plans into motion. And LTBasker is not our clone, he is my lacky like Maul who I intend to sacrifice in my quest to gain control of the SSG forums. All is occuring as I have forseen. :D

MTFBWY and HH!!

Jar Jar Binks

Tycho
03-28-2002, 05:07 AM
You see! I knew it! I knew it all along! What did I tell you guys?

I saw this coming...and now see where we have arrived at?

:crazed:

Rollo Tomassi
03-28-2002, 09:59 AM
I'm not impressed. Not until you answer the question that has been bugging as all for the last year...


"Who is Utinni?"

The cut of his jib is familiar...;)

Tycho
03-28-2002, 03:58 PM
LOL "George" - but that depends on how much faith you have if you were to actually believe my answer.

Do you think that if Elvis and John F. Kennedy were still alive, they'd be Star Wars fans and posting on this site?

Geeze have I got news for You!

Ah-ha. Even you don't know everything that I know!

JEDIpartner
04-05-2002, 02:43 PM
Originally posted by Tycho
In light of my recent suspicions that practically everyone in the Star Wars universe is a Clone, [well, Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, Cos Palpatine, Boba Fett, etc...] I have to post this in my defense:

I WAS CLONED!!!


...and his name is "PSYCHO". :D

sith_killer_99
04-05-2002, 06:49 PM
Emperor Jargo and Jar Jar Binks ARE the same person, sort of.

JJB is actually the EVIL clone of EJ....

or is EJ the EVIL clone of JJB....

Either way, the bigger truth MUST be revealed...

Tycho is actually the clone of JEDIpartnr!

AND Tycho is the twin brother of Emperor Jargo....they were seperated at birth.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

:crazed:

Jargo
04-05-2002, 07:43 PM
I take offense at this petty name calling. Emperor Jargo has clones and they were summarily dispensed with some time ago. Jargo and Grand Moff Jargo both served their purpose and have been surpassed by a new more sinister clone with enhanced agitatory abilities more suitable for a Sith apprentice. Tycho, Rollo Tomassi, JarJarBinks, Jedipartnr, JediClint, are all but pawns in the greater scheme of Universal domination for Emperor Jargo. the Emperor is most displeased to hear his name bandied around like a commoners. You will all be punished severely for this outrage against me. I hereby designate all AOTC and saga merchandise to be HTF and will execute a plan to actively reduce the amount of merchandise hitting the stores near where you all live. Furthermore I will remove all older product from circulation to cause consternation and unrest between the collectors who dared to profane my name. This will no doubt hit Tycho the hardest as he seems to delight in buying multiples of product to furnish his 'dioramas' and also Rollo who will now never ever see a Skiff or Y-wing again in his lifetime. I have further punishments lined up for the rest of you but they can wait. revenge is a dish best served cold and I am tepid with rage right now. begone foul daemons, and never darken my audience chamber again.

BTW, Tycho is but a mere underling, an Imperial latrine technician. A mere civillian in the employ of the New Empire. Pay him no mind as he's quite harmless, but ultimately quite insane. His medication has been increased and hopefully this should mean a return to normal daily performance here at the SSG forums. If he bothers anyone again we shall have him executed in a sublimely and exquisitely painful and messy way. :evil:

Tycho
04-05-2002, 07:48 PM
My medication was increased? I thought all this time that it must have been the Mouse Droids I've been snorting! :eek:

Dryanta
04-05-2002, 07:58 PM
ROFLMAO!!!!
This is the funniest thread I've seen here!!!
DON"T STOP NOW!!!!

Tycho
04-05-2002, 08:46 PM
If you think that is funny, you may be sniffing YOUR Mouse Droid.

If you think so CLICK HERE! (http://www.sirstevesguide.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=5280)

^ ^ ^ Mouse Droid Sniffers Anony-mouse ^ ^ ^


If you think the incomprehensible decisions Hasbro makes with our toy line is funny, try imagining how hard it is for your action figures to re-enact the movies:

First, from our old forums, the story begins in:

The Resculpt Menace (http://209.197.112.151/thread.html?dom=ss&TID=17&PID=2944)

Then it continues in:

A New Resculpt (http://209.197.112.151/thread.html?dom=ss&TID=27&PID=3744)



Which had to be continued in the new forums starting from the Cantina Scene (http://www.sirstevesguide.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=309)

and is succeeded by:

The Resculpt Strikes Back (http://www.sirstevesguide.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1528)

And we are now only starting along the process of retelling:

The Return of the Resculpts (http://www.sirstevesguide.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4134)

Hope you enjoy!

Rollo Tomassi
04-06-2002, 07:37 AM
...and also Rollo who will now never ever see a Skiff or Y-wing again in his lifetime.





:cry:



Oh, I'll "see" them...I just won't HAVE any...

:cry: