View Full Version : Deadeye's Star Wars story (w/Updates!)

04-03-2002, 05:10 PM
Hey guys,

I've written a Star Wars story. It's unfinished, but here's what I've done so far. To this point, everyone has loved it. It's after the whole Yuuzhan Vong incident and the Sith have rebuilt their empire. To counter the threat, the New Republic created an all-Jedi division of the military to deal with the Sith. The story is about Rassick, one of those Jedi soldiers, who as you shall soon see is not your typical Jedi...

04-03-2002, 05:13 PM
Haven't read it yet, but I saved it. I hope that's cool. I don't have time to read it at work right now, (much to busy posting on the forums:rolleyes: ) but I'll read it when I get home.

I'm always interested in fanfic stuff.

04-03-2002, 05:24 PM
Well everyone says it's great, and captures the spirit of the movies well...even though the protagonist is NOT your average, righteous heroic Jedi...:eek:

Oh, and I'm sorry that a lot of words are split by hyphens...it was a document, and in order to post it I had to make it text-only, which changes stuff...

04-03-2002, 09:06 PM
um...isn't anyone reading this?

04-04-2002, 08:20 AM
just saw the thread, Ima probably read it later this day or tomorrow(europe time)
I'll tell you then if I liked (or how much I liked it :) )

04-04-2002, 09:33 AM
Nice first person POV. When do we get more???

04-04-2002, 10:16 AM
Nice one DeadEye! :D Do you have George Lucas' e-mail address? You should see what he thinks of it. He might let you write Episode III.


04-04-2002, 04:58 PM
Thanks. And BTW, I'm only 16. Everyone always said I was a great writer...

I haven't written in it for about a week...I'd post some more if you'd like.

04-04-2002, 08:27 PM
well... i would like to check it out, but i can't open it. (html?)

curse the macintosh!

04-04-2002, 08:41 PM

04-05-2002, 04:36 PM
let's have some more replies! Just read the story...you'll love it!:cool:

04-05-2002, 09:02 PM
Patience young one. Patience is a virtue. This thread is not ready. it has only just been planted. Let the sunshine of time and the rain of days fall on this thread and watch it grow like a miracle of nature and flourish with the fruits of your labour. The great do not hurry to see the world. The great sit and let the world come to them. wait long enough and the whole world passes by...... ;)

04-05-2002, 09:03 PM

/ignites lightsaber

04-08-2002, 06:52 PM
hey everyone,

Here's my star wars story again, with new scenes. There's a whole bunch of new stuff at the end. For people that read the original, just scroll down until you see new stuff. For people that haven't even read the original--well, let's just say you're in for a real treat. :)

04-08-2002, 09:15 PM
Deadeye, I merged these 2 threads together and changed the title to reflect this.

04-08-2002, 09:41 PM
oh...I understand. Thank you. :D

04-09-2002, 09:25 AM
It's Gonzo! ;)

04-09-2002, 03:54 PM
Originally posted by JEDIpartnr
It's Gonzo! ;) Big purple nose, loves chickens?


04-09-2002, 04:54 PM
Yes, no, maybe so. :confused:

04-10-2002, 09:10 PM

I've written even more in this bad boy, including the beginning of Chapter 3. You'll love it!!! :D

THE Slayer
04-13-2002, 06:06 PM
Deadeye, I've read the first part but the latest updates, and I only have one thing to add so far. In the first part you have A LOT going on, storywise you have a lot dialogue and movement. Which is all good. In my opinion you only need to insert a little of the slow stuff, you know what I'm talking about? Those detailed paragraphs about eccentricities and environments that really doesn't push you along, but entangles you in the story itself. That's just my opinion so take it from a pov of someone who hasn't yet finshed the book. But then again neither have you. :)

04-13-2002, 07:50 PM
Well...yeah...you need to read the updates. I think each chapter has less action than the previous one. Chapter 1 was pretty much a nonstop bloodbath, I'll admit it...Chapter 2's only fight sequence was at the end when the Sith invade the colony, and only portions of it are actually described...and there's been no action at all in Chapter 3. Unlike most "action" books, whose entire action sequence for the whole thing only takes up one paragraph, I decided to tone the violence to a proper Star Wars-level. I put a few juicy fight sequences in the beginning, to get you interested...then there's a "dry season" in the middle that keeps you interested with just the story...and then there's going to be the big climactic battles at the end. Glad you enjoyed it...there's more to come. More members of these forums need to read it...they have no idea what they're missing. Am I right? :D

THE Slayer
04-18-2002, 10:09 PM
Deadeye, I read the rest of your story so now I understand. Keep up the good work and keep it coming.
Here's a snipit of something I wrote for my cousin. Read it and tell me if you think we have very different writting styles :)

04-18-2002, 10:31 PM
Hmm...well, it's not bad. ;) Yours is in a time era about twenty years before mine...and our styles are somewhat different. But hey, since hardly anyone on these forums bothers to comment on either of our stories, I'll just say that yours is fine. :D

THE Slayer
04-19-2002, 06:17 PM
Thanks. :). I'm not going to post anymore of it anyways,, people might just start to get confused, considering they're in the same thread, but totally different. :)

04-29-2002, 10:04 PM
Yeah. I said it all in the title...most members here have (hopefully) read "DeadEye's Star Wars Story" and enjoyed it...so who here, if anyone, would like to see more?

Dar' Argol
04-29-2002, 10:42 PM
Deadeye, I merged this with the rest of your story post.

04-30-2002, 03:37 PM

04-30-2002, 04:24 PM
Have patience...it will come soon...even if only two other forum members bother to read it. :D

THE Slayer
05-01-2002, 05:15 PM
I'd read it. I like fan fiction, But I could have been one of the other forum remembers you referred to in the "two member". :)

On a side note, Both you, dead eye, and jedipartner have obiwan icons,,, I don't know why exactly I felt the need to bring that up.
I wonder how many other members sport obi-wan as their logo of choice?

05-01-2002, 09:22 PM
Yes. THE Slayer, you and JEDIpartnr are the 2 readers that I said read it.

Me and JEDIpartnr are the main guys with Obi-Wan avatars (I think Obi-Don has one too), but that's because we're practically brothers. :D

05-09-2002, 08:29 PM
All right my friends, here it is. From beginning to end, my entire, complete, forty-page Star Wars story!!!

05-10-2002, 04:03 PM
Good work DeadEye. When are you starting on your next story?


05-10-2002, 05:22 PM
Soon enough. Did you enjoy it?

Did you like my "cameo"? ;)