View Full Version : Funeral Pyre Vader!!

09-08-2001, 10:44 PM
Follow me on this: Take a mold of a Vader figure in repose and then cast him in one solid piece of steel. I'm not a metalurgist (and can't even spell it) but it needs to be black, naturally.

Anyhow, the rest of the playset is the "wooden" funeral pyre, also cast in non-flammable alloy. Little bunson burner nozzles leading to a propane tank and you're good to go for hours of cremation fun!

Really, I'm serious! No, really!

09-08-2001, 10:48 PM
You'd probably have to show I.D. to buy this one, but I'd definitely buy it. They could even release a Qui-Gon one, lord knows they need another rescuplt of him soon.

09-08-2001, 10:52 PM
Oh yeah. I forgot that they burned him up too. Of course the set isn't limited to the figures that come with it. Feel free to toast any one of your Luke's, Qui Gon's, Jar Jar's (a big hit, this one!), or convert it to the Han Weenie Roast scene in Jedi.

Of course Hasbro will never ever do this, but it may be a worthy art and crafts project for those spare Saturdays.

Wife: "Whatcha doin', honey?"
You: "Uh, nothing dear."
Wife: "What's that smell?"
You: "Um."

09-08-2001, 11:00 PM
Of course you'd have to do the charred Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen
scene too. Isn't it cool that there's so many people on fire in the Star Wars Saga?

09-09-2001, 01:11 AM
I think parents would complain about this:

"My son burnt down our house"

"My son torched the cats tail"

"My sons hair caught on fire!"

My sons lighting cigarettes from it"


Bad idea!

09-09-2001, 01:17 AM
They could disguise it as an incense burner and sell it at novelty shop and Spencer Gifts stores!

09-09-2001, 05:37 AM
It would be cool to have one ,but without the fire.That way it would sell.I don't think moms and dads would buy a toy that thier kids can set on fire.Lets save the roasting for the back yard when the parents are not around.

09-09-2001, 08:11 AM
As crazy as it may sound, I would love to have one. I would burn it out though because I would always be setting it on fire. :D

09-17-2001, 12:28 PM
As cool and visually interesting at such a product may be, it is certainly not the pervue of Hasbro to make decidedly adult only (from the standpoint of safety) products. Even in the hands of an adult such an item may prove too hazardous for production and distribution to the general public (like Evenflow's desire to use one as an "eternal flame"). Don't look for this sort of thing to be produced, say, ever. No manufacturer wants that kind of potential liability and LucasFilm does not want the Star Wars brand associated with something that might prove dangerous. Interesting though the idea may be.

master jedi
09-17-2001, 05:25 PM
For a tasty treat you could take some marshmellows and use some food coloring to decorate them as darth vader. Pop 'em on a stick and roast away.

Rollo Tomassi
09-18-2001, 12:12 AM
Somebody else came up with this idea awhile ago except using a piece of carved stone or glass. Metal would get too hot, too fast. But I'd definitely get one. And the companion Qui Gon model as well...

09-18-2001, 03:29 AM
Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
And the companion Qui Gon model as well...

They could make a series :)

09-20-2001, 05:25 PM
Hmmm...i dont think that this is a figure we will ever going to see, but if it helps here is my vote.:D

Rollo Tomassi
09-20-2001, 10:41 PM
I think it would be put in specialty shops like Spencer's Gifts. It would be 4" figures without actually being part of the Hasbro toy line.

09-27-2001, 07:40 AM
Seems to me Hasbro could engineer some sort of fiber optic or blinking LED light set-up beneath the pyre with a flame-type of effect. That would eliminate the heat and real flames (and the fun) and result in a safe 'Vader On A Stick".

Rollo Tomassi
03-21-2002, 03:32 PM
I've seen that reflective fabric that looks like a flame when you light it up and have it whipping around from a fan or something below it. It looks just like fire. The trouble would be in making it small enough to use in the 4" line.

I like your LED idea TeeEye.

06-13-2005, 07:26 PM
Really, I'm serious! No, really!

Can I take it that none of you fine folk have attended a public cremation on the shores of the Ganges in India?

It stinks. Like the taste of burned gristle on a well done steak in full 360` Dolby surround-smell. A stench of which even the smallest wiff arouses all kinds of instinctive heart-rate raising ill feelings.

And when the skull (steam pressure) pops it gets very ugly and /really/ stinks.

And if the don't tie and drain the bowels right, when they push through the abdominal wall the stench is /ungodly/.

Now imagine you are experiencing this at shrimp-on-the-barbie proximal distances instead of the 2-3 block standoff that is normal for the cremation grounds and it goes from unpleasantly olfactory to visually horrific.

GIVEN that the whole notion of cremation is to liberate the spirit inside so that no decay of the body may ever touch what is 'pure and eternal', you don't need the act of burning to confirm the transferrance in a particularly grizzly/gruesome fashion. You merely need the flash-vaporization of the physical to /imply/ the evanescence of 'crude matter' back to energy.

In this, I agree with the suggestion of a Phoenix Rising motif (fiber optic illuminated crystalline backdrop) as the most appropriate one for Quigon. Even though he strikes me as a particularly weak Jedi.

But I will simply _never_ endorse the notion that a murderer of BILLIONS would be instantly or ever redeemed by the simple act of putting a terminal smack down on a geriatric psychopath whom he could have had assassinated in a dozen different ways at a dozen earlier moments. With about a squads worth of trained soldiers to help him.

(Yet another mistake of the Prequels being the method by which Jedi were shown to be so readily slaughtered yet Palpatine, who can hardly fight, is never challenged?)

For me, a better solution would be to show _Yoda_ making the transformation, on his own, through an 'all here, cheshire smiling eyes, drooped cloak' holographic shimmer. Along with a bit of the Jedi Credo...

There is no Death, There is the Force.

As a condolence card, credit card, key chain or indeed anything that could be 'sold' relevant to day to day use or special moment beyond-tragic belief, it would be both appropriate and last-laugh-is-yours encouraging to know that you need not fear what comes next.

Of course GL has had commercial aftermarket hackery control over the SWU franchise for so long I doubt if there's anything he /hasn't/ exploited yet.


06-23-2005, 10:33 AM
I think parents would complain about this:

"My son burnt down our house"

"My son torched the cats tail"

"My sons hair caught on fire!"

My sons lighting cigarettes from it"


Bad idea!

hah, thats what my parents would say, then they would proceed to kick me out of the house...what can I say I love a square before I go into a target at 8 a.m :) :smoker: :smoker: :)