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mylow thehutt
05-16-2002, 06:51 PM
:) every one got some funny story to tell,well if you got one come on in and share.

One time me and my dad were returing bottels at Wegmans when a mouse that was in our garage snuck into our bottel bag and got loose in the store!!:eek:

DeadEye
05-16-2002, 07:54 PM
Oh my gosh, I told a hilarious story to JEDIpartnr. He can vouch for me. But I really don't feel like typing it up all over again! :rolleyes:

SWAFMAN
05-16-2002, 08:30 PM
most of my funny stories would have to be so edited for content to pass muster with SSG, they'd no longer be funny.

One story I can tell is about the day my oldest boy asked me for money so he could donate to "Habitat for the Manatee."

I still tease him about that one.

JEDIpartner
05-17-2002, 11:04 AM
"Strawberries anyone?" :D

It's YOUR story, little brother. You can tell it! :rolleyes:

Mandalorian Candidat
05-17-2002, 11:11 AM
I have one, but it's one of those "you had to be there" stories. Once I was with my dad and we saw this dopey old brown dog walking in the street. It went to jump up on the curb, but it tripped. I've never seen a dog trip before so I laughed for about an hour. I still smile everytime I think about it. :D

Brave Sir Robin
05-19-2002, 05:22 PM
One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I was just sittin there with my mind a complete blank while the monkey scribbled on little pieces of paper. At the end of the week the teacher said "Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes. I wrote a paper that said "Hello, my name is bingo, I like to climb on things, can I have a banana? Eek eek!" I got an F! I told my mom about it and she said "I told you never trust a monkey!" The end!

MikeAndTheBots
05-19-2002, 05:25 PM
Originally posted by Brave Sir Robin
One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I was just sittin there with my mind a complete blank while the monkey scribbled on little pieces of paper. At the end of the week the teacher said "Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes. I wrote a paper that said "Hello, my name is bingo, I like to climb on things, can I have a banana? Eek eek!" I got an F! I told my mom about it and she said "I told you never trust a monkey!" The end!
Now why isn't that show on anymore? It was pretty damn funny at times.

browndroid
05-19-2002, 05:29 PM
this morning at church my friend was just trying to load a pen "gun", he accedentaly shot it and it wizzed by me and almost hit this guy in the head a few pews ahead of us, it ended up going all the way to the front of the church

DeadEye
05-19-2002, 06:16 PM
ok. At JEDIpartnr's request, I'll tell this story. I swear to you it's all true.

It was the summer following my 9th grade year. I went to a JROTC summer camp, as did a fellow named Ernest Swindle, also called "Strawberry" for very inappropriate reasons. To call him a moron would be the understatement of the century. To start things, we were issued three sets of uniforms to wear to camp--and two of mine didn't fit. So I had to wear the same uniform for nine days. Oh, and on the warmest day there it was thirty-six degrees. On the second day we did Drown Proofing. I wore my uniform with my hands across my chest and my feet tied together, and an M16 slung about my back. I had to jump off the diving board twenty feet into the freezing pool. Submerged, I had to immediately raise the rifle above the surface of the water to keep its actions clear, then untie my feet. Then i had to remove my pants (and doing so underwater is quite hard!) and toss them over my head, letting them catch air and using them as a flotation device. Afterwards, I had nothing to change into, so I trotted about in the soaking uniform, in the cold air, and the humidity didn't let me dry. Me and Strawberry then had to navigate our way through a forest, fending with poisonous snakes along the way. We were two hours into it when we discovered we had been holding the map upside down.
The next day we went canoeing. It was assigned two people per canoe. The guy in the back was to be the one with more experience. Having never been in a canoe before, I sat in front. Strawberry claimed to have experience and sat behind me. We set off. Soon it became apparent that he had no more idea on how to canoe than I did, and he revealed that he got all his "experience" from watching movies where people were canoeing! He took a crap off the side of the canoe at least twice. He deliberately steered us into dead, overhanging trees leftover from a flood. Being in front, I took the brunt of the impacts, and ticks and dirt and branches got all over me. He just laughed. Then my oar snagged on a branch and was lost. So Strawberry had the only oar, and we moved about in circles. Then he retrieved a stick from the slimy, feces-laden water and made me use it. We had been instructed to assist anyone that capsized. One canoe, three men strong, had tipped over. I waded out in the slimy water to help them, while Strawberry stayed in the canoe and threw rocks at them while shouting profanities. The canoers were kind enough to let me use their third oar. Me and Strawberry, believe it or not, ended up with second or third place, out of hundreds of canoers. Then Strawberry went swimming in the rapids, all of two feet deep. His body was cut all over from the rocks. We later went to SIMNet, a program where cadets got in four-man teams and drove simulated Bradley fighting vehicles against each other. I was the gunner, and Strawberry was the driver. I set a new record for Vilseck with 26 kills (that's why they call me Deadeye:D). But Strawberry drove us into a tree and broke the turret off, so we were unable to shoot and were soon destroyed. The hell camp continued for several days. Anyway, it was over and i was happy to never be around him again.
Then my sophomore year came. I was a cadet staff sergeant. I was in charge of a whole class of cadets...and there was a corporal with an attitude...a squad leader...guess who it was.
So I put up with Strawberry all year as, every day, he kept telling me all the assinine stories about camp. Finally, he told me his dad had to teach tactics in Leavenworth, Kansas. He moved, and I was happy.
Then my dad had to teach at the CGSC (command and general staff college) in Leavenworth. So, guess who's my friendly neighbor! Thankfully, I go to a different school than Strawberry but he lives only four houses down from me...so I still have to put up with him on weekends.

mylow thehutt
05-19-2002, 06:36 PM
Originally posted by Mandalorian Candidat
I have one, but it's one of those "you had to be there" stories. Once I was with my dad and we saw this dopey old brown dog walking in the street. It went to jump up on the curb, but it tripped. I've never seen a dog trip before so I laughed for about an hour. I still smile everytime I think about it. :D



Thats the most funniest story i have ever heard i can't stop laughing,my mom thinks i'm going nuts here,Oh i can't breath!!!HAHAHAHA.

mylow thehutt
05-19-2002, 06:42 PM
I have two dogs named Mylow:) and Elloit,these 2 always try to kill each other but they are samll dogs and funny as heck,like one time they were chasing each other in the yard and elloit was right behind Mylow and Mylow was barking not paying attetion to what was ahead a Smashed right into my littel sisters kiddy pool!! he was alright but I literaly fell of my deck in laughter.

mylow thehutt
05-20-2002, 05:51 PM
any one else

DeadEye
05-20-2002, 07:53 PM
Read mine. It's pretty dang hilarious.

mylow thehutt
05-20-2002, 08:37 PM
I just did, that was awsome but why did you call him strawberrys
HAHA:) also was this a summer camp?great stroy deadeye didn't know you and JEDIpartnr were brothers.:)

DeadEye
05-20-2002, 09:03 PM
Yes, it was a JROTC summer camp. I'll PM you to tell you why he was called Strawberry--it's too profane to post here.

mylow thehutt
05-21-2002, 04:06 PM
Originally posted by DeadEye
Yes, it was a JROTC summer camp. I'll PM you to tell you why he was called Strawberry--it's too profane to post here.

Got your PM,that was mad funny:D :D HAHAHA.Strawberrys :p

DeadEye
05-21-2002, 04:30 PM
That's why he's called that. We can't stop making fun of him. He thinks he's some great ladies' man, but he's not...he's an ugly moron. And girls are always asking me out but I always reject them, for fear of rumors starting when the girls come to my house and discovering my Star Wars collections.:eek:

Bel-Cam Jos
05-21-2002, 08:20 PM
This is what I call the "Harry Booth Syndrome." (I think I've actually posted this here at SSG once before. Oh well)

Around 1980ish or so, a friend was over at my house. We were eating Fruity Pebbles cereal, and looking at a The Black Hole coloring book. My friend read one of the character captions in the book (guess which one), and as he said the name, some cereal came spitting out. We thought it was hilarious, and continued to say "Harry Boooooooth" and trying to spit as much cereal when we did so.

Much later (i.e. years) I mentioned this story to him, and neither one of us felt it was funny. Thus, the "Harry Booth Syndrome" was born, or another "you-had-to-be-there-but-even-if-you-were-there-it-may-not-make-sense-anymore" story. :eek: ;)