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  1. #1
    Registered Eternal Padawan's Avatar
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    xXx (The Triple X thread)

    So they're hoping this becomes a franchise, huh? not gonna happen. This thing is so ludicrously over the top ham fisted action mutton. It tries to be coy and say 'wink wink, we're making fun of the genre' but it ends up taking it's place in line with all the other action tripe out there. it starts off slyly poking fun at 007 by having the guy in a tuxedo completely in a fish out of water situation. Stuffy old agent archetype can't survive in this environment, right?

    So then why does the film simply remove James Bond from every scene and insert Xander Cage? Nails random hot chick? check. Snappy patter with head of spy organization (Samuel Jackson is M)? check. tete a tete with goofy gadget meister? check. Falls in love with good bad girl? check. Exotic chase scenes that defy all believibility? check. (What's up with that snowboard scene? Were the FX guys digitally teleporting him away from the avalanche everytime it got too close? I saw his little black dot on the screen jump forward four times.And not inexplicably "speed up". He literally popped forward 10 to 15 feet each time.) Saves the world? check. Ho hum. Instead of a tuxedo, though we get a guady furry coat.

    The only difference between this film and 007 is that Bond did it first over and over and over again. And where Bond is suave and cool under fire, X is thuggish and lucky.

    It's a two hour adrenaline rush, but don't expect it to revolutionize the genre.

    ROLLO!
    Who's a sexy kitty? Who is? Yes, you are. You're a SEXY kitty...

    PHONE BOOK Written by Bendis. Art by Jim Lee. Total copies sold: 15 billion.

    "Comic Collecting. Miss a decade, miss a lot."

  2. #2
    Say wasn't Remo Williams being touted as the next Bond too?

    Hmmm....
    [font=verdana]Madness take its toll. Please have exact change[/font]
    [font=verdana]Life's short and hard like a bodybuilding elf... - Blood Hound Gang [/font]
    I'm a trendy tote bag!

  3. #3
    There is and always will be one Bond and one Bond only, the rest are just copy cats.
    THANKS FOR THE AT-TE & FALCON HASBRO. NOW IT'S TIME FOR A LARGE TANTIVE IV!

  4. #4
    I haven't seen it yet, but I want to thank Eternal Padawan for titling this thread with the appropriate lower case x, capital X, lower case x.

    Franchise? I read that Vin Diesel (kinda boring that his real name is Mark Vincent) "was offered 3 franchises at once", and that's why he turned down Fast/Furious 2 in favor of xXx and Riddick (Pitch Black sequel/prequel ). Curious, I didn't see The Fast and the Furious as a franchise to begin with !

  5. #5
    I was reading in my local paper that he turned down $20 million they were offering him to do Fast and the Furious 2.

    That musta been one bad script.
    [font=verdana]Madness take its toll. Please have exact change[/font]
    [font=verdana]Life's short and hard like a bodybuilding elf... - Blood Hound Gang [/font]
    I'm a trendy tote bag!

  6. #6
    He might have been smart to pass on Pitch Black 2 (-1?), what a load of crap that movie was.
    "To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence… When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." - C.S. Lewis

  7. #7
    So it's lame? That's kinda what I figured. I can't say I'm a Vin Diesel fan, since I've not seen any of his, what, two movies? (I classify TF&TF under "movies that people really like, but can't tell me the first thing about," which normally means I'll pass until someone can tell me something about it. That and the fact that the City of Hemet closed down the only way into town from the west so they could film a couple of scenes and I had to leave for work almost an hour earlier for several weeks, which kinda ticks me off on principle.)

    I remember hearing that a sequel was in the works a few weeks ago. Has anyone in Hollywood heard of seeing how the movie does before churning out more?
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  8. #8
    I don't know who thought that Vin Diesel was leading man material. He was okay in Saving Private Ryan, but only memorable because of his drawn out death. There were several other actors who gave incredible performances in that film, overshadowing poor Vinny.

    He was lame in the 'too-hip-for-it's-own-good' Pitch Black, and never came off as anything more than a run-of-the-mill thug in TF&TF.

    xXx looks to be a hip, thrill-a-minute, roller coaster ride with a cast of 'kewl,' bad-*** characters. Exactly why I don't plan on watching it.
    "To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence… When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." - C.S. Lewis

  9. #9
    Today at work as I was making my rounds doing theater checks, I thought it was funny to walk into xXx and see Danny Trejo beating Vin Deisel with a machette, and then walk into Spy Kids 2 and see him be nice unlce Cortez and go "I just relized I dident put batteries in this thing!" after the big musical number at the end.
    "Ha Ha Ha Hee Hee Hee, I'm a laughing gnome and you cant catch me!" said the laughing gnome....

    - David Bowie: The laughing gnome.

  10. #10
    Registered Eternal Padawan's Avatar
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    Yep. Last night had 20 people in an auditorium big enough for 300. Definitely no sequel.

    Danny Trejo RULES! :happy: I especially like him in Heat.

    Chux, VD () was in Private Ryan, Boiler Room (he was good in that one), Pitch Black, Fast/Furious (originally called Redline...which in retrospect would have been a better title. FATF is just a hokey, hokey name for a movie...) Knockaround Guys (which languished on a shelf for over a year now...never a good sign) and now xXx. He was also the voice of the Iron Giant. They are also sitting on that unnamed movie (originally called Diablo) and he is finishing up the PB sequel. With two of his movies shelved, and a dismal turn out for this one (at least at my theatre), pretty soon people are going to realize FATF was a hit because of the cars, not because of Vin. And then his $20 million paychecks will dry up.

    Speaking of the pitch black sequel, one of the original screenplay ideas had them crash landing on ANOTHER planet full of nocturnal hunting beasts. What are the odds?!?!

    ROLLO!
    Who's a sexy kitty? Who is? Yes, you are. You're a SEXY kitty...

    PHONE BOOK Written by Bendis. Art by Jim Lee. Total copies sold: 15 billion.

    "Comic Collecting. Miss a decade, miss a lot."

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